Her Minor Thing and Estella Warren, Ninja Assassin is awesome, Total Recall, Over the Top, Never Back Down, The Karate Kid and The Karate Kid Part III, Beedie's Gotta Catch Em All, James Cameron stole the plot of Avatar from Call Me Joe, Jean-Claude Van Damme in Universal Soldier: The Return, Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, The Losers movie casts Zoe Saldana, and more.
Tag Archive for 'Total Recall'
INDECENT PROPOSAL part 3 has arrived! In this penultimate chapter, Ross Campbell and Nick Marino talk about Jingle All the Way, Hollow Man, Total Recall, and The Dark Knight. Then the debate opens - is there a film series where the third film is just as good or better than the previous two films? Threequels that make the cut include Gamora 3, Naked Gun 33 1/3, The Chronicles of Riddick, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Rocky 3, and Alien 3. Then Ross geeks out on the plots of Alien and Alien 3 (but not Aliens). Then the guys discuss Ross' upcoming Shadoweyes comic book, talking about YA books, all ages content, and profanity. And after the end theme, the guys talk about comics in libraries and, specifically, which of Ross' books can be found (hint: it's Water Baby).
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In INDECENT PROPOSAL part 2, Ross Campbell and Nick Marino start out discussing comic art commissions in a digital marketplace, name dropping DJ Coffman, explodingdog, Spamusement!, and more. Nick brings it back to Henry Rollins (see IP pt 1 from last week!) and the indie comic Henry and Glenn 4-Ever, which takes the guys to comic book conventions as Ross and Nick talk about fading celebrities who hang out on the con circuit. Finally, love for Van Damme before the end theme turns into love for Schwarzenegger (and Sinbad) after the end theme, leading directly into next week's Arnie lovefest that we like to call INDECENT PROPOSAL part 3!!!
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Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience by Steven Soderbergh, Jean-Claude Van Damme in Timecop, the Mortal Kombat movie, 27 Dresses getting worn by Katherine Heigl, Coraline and Neil Gaiman, Hip Hop is Read and Colin Munroe, Terminator Salvation cannot be saved by Christian Bale, Len Kaminski and Iron Man #306 got ripped off by Google, Robot 13 by Thomas Hall and Daniel Bradford is pretty awesome, and, of course, mucho more.
P.S. No. You are not losing your mind. AudioShocker Podcast #82 never happened. It had... issues. And since there is a slight chance it may yet get recovered, we moved onto #83 in the meantime.
The wonder-beautiful month of May has swept on by, in a mere blink of the culturological eye. And no wonder, given the steady stream of blockbusters that seeped out of Hollywood’s underclothing every weekend. Watching movies is a bit like watching baseball: after the first month of the season, one is tempted to draw major conclusions and determine how the whole season is going to play out, but must bide ones time as well, as so much is certain to change as the weeks progress. But it was a pretty good month for movies, all things considered (well, not all things… I really only went out to like three movies (I would’ve seen Up, but I was out of town over the weekend, and my friends all went to see it without me, and since I more or less make it a rule to never go to movies by myself, I probably won’t see it until its eventual DVD release)), and to me, the movie the really tied the month together, and gives the best sense of what the summer might hold is Terminator: Salvation.
Star Trek was great, Wolverine pretty much blew (apologies, as usual, to Nick, for my failing to find its stalwart action movie tropes to be as exciting and enjoyable as I should have), and Terminator falls somewhere in the middle. Where I was hesitant to compare Star Trek and Wolverine, I feel the opposite impulse between the latter and Terminator. Mostly ‘cause they’re both more or less straight-up sci-fi/action flicks, and both come from similar pedigrees (having two quite good movies been made in their franchises with questionable third movies—though T-3 was way way better than X-Men 3). Wolverine riding his motorcycle out of an exploding barn? Meh. T-800 jumping off an exploding bridge holding an axe and using that axe to climb onto a giant flying robot? Awesome!
Beyond the explosions-and-leaping comparison, the obvious choice to put against each other are the special effects; it’s very easy to say “Terminator looked much better, and was therefore the better movie.” In fact, it’s one of those arenas where I have the most trouble getting an objective sense of my own taste. Ideally, I wouldn’t really care one way or the other about the look of the movie, and gauge it more for its editing/action/pacing, but its hard to ignore the fact that Wolverine looked so cheap and careless, whereas Terminator (and Star Trek, for the matter) had much bigger budgets (though also, arguably, more of a need for those effects) for the computer graphics. But sci-fi is one of those genres where I think it does matter. Look at Star Wars: what was it that separated those first three Star Wars movies from the pack of all the rest of the sci-fi in the ‘70s? It’s set-design, specifically the darkness of its sets (this isn’t necessarily something that I feel like I can actually fully argue, but it’s been my sense for a long time that the only reason Star Wars was ever popular is because of the darkness of its sets). Terminator 2? The Matrix? Special effects are what cement their place in action/sci-fi movie history. Total Recall sits at the absolute pinnacle of the greatness of pre-CGI special effects. Tron. Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain will eventually have massive cult status for its non-computer-generated sci-fi backdrops. Jurassic Park. Even Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, a movie which exists in its own special corner of science fiction (I think its one of the best spaceship movies ever made), was recognized for its special effects—it was the “ultimate trip”.
Much rarer is the sci-fi movie known for its awesomeness without its effects. Robo-Cop is the one movie that springs to mind. Maybe Tremors. All the Star Trek movies seem to skirt the issue pretty well (despite whatever amount of mockery of the original TV show). And there are certainly movies that had great effects but sucked so much that it didn’t matter (though I’m drawing a blank here at the moment). So if Wolverine’s claws hadn’t looked so shitty, would it have been a better movie? It might have been—it may well at least have been way more enjoyable. But its main problem lies deeper than its half-assed visual sense: Wolverine utterly lacked ambition in its film making. Not that Terminator: Salvation set any records for mind-blowingly good ideas, but there was at least sense through all of its set-pieces that it knew it was going up against classics of the genre in its forebears, so had to provide some novelty to it. Compared to Terminator, Wolverine seems more like a B-movie than a blockbuster.
Culturology Summer of Booklove Book Club #2: A Scanner Darkly
As soon as I started reading this book, I realized that I should have picked a different Philip K. Dick book than this one. Although it certainly exemplifies a major piece of the PKD puzzle, its way more of a drug novel than real sci-fi. During the passages of the book where its just junkies hanging out and rapping with each other, it might as well be taking place in the mid-70s, rather than the imaginary 1997 of its fictional future. So I apologize for that; but there are still some interesting things to talk about here.
Philip K. Dick is known, of course, for his long-standing popularity as a writer whose books or stories are prime material for movie making. Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report, Paycheck, and many more were all based on PKD material. Part of the reason I picked A Scanner Darkly was because Linklater made a movie version of it a couple of years ago which I haven’t seen yet, and figured that at some point this summer I can spend some quality blog-time bitching about it (Linklater being about the least interesting (and most annoying) of the current set of young American filmmakers). But after reading the book, I’m not even sure that I would care to defend it against even a crappy film adaptation.
Its basic premise is pretty cool. In the future, drugs will be more powerful and more harmful than what they were, drug manufacturers will be more powerful as well, and the police will be more impotent than ever in stopping the trade. So Fred ends up narcing, and using his fair share of Substance D, which causes his brain to split in half (a trendy idea for a while there, back in the sci-fi day; the other must-read of split brain sci-fi being Stanislaw Lem’s Peace on Earth), and is commanded to narc on himself as Bob Arctor. Bob/Fred is a sad character. And given PKD’s own history of drug abuse (apparently it was something like a massive acid trip/schizophrenic episode which launched him into the last phase of his novel writing, which was massively paranoid and infused with Gnostic religious leanings (see the VALIS trilogy, for instance)), I struggled in reading it to not just associate Bob/Fred with some vision of the actual Philip K. Dick. PKD also, apparently, for a while, had decided that the FBI was watching him, so started mailing them letters where he would narc on himself, so the paranoia that soaks through Scanner perhaps works so effectively because its writer really believed in it.
The idea of the drug manufacturer’s turning addicts into zombies in order to add them to their own numbers is appealing too, though it’s hard to see any kind of real-life analogue to it. It’s interesting to me, since we only get that information at the tail end of the book, but it’s really a scheme worthy of a mastermind criminal’s epic climactic “I did it” speech. I do enjoy paranoid fiction—Pynchon’s novels are all great for it—the sense that the world is built up of these massive schemes that the average person has no control over. The two basic ways to pay off paranoia plots are obvious enough: either someone is pulling all the strings, or no one is. I personally lean towards the no-mastermind plot resolution, but I think A Scanner Darkly’s ties up in a satisfactory way; if the drugs make you paranoid, it probably does work better for there to turn out to actual be a massive, carefully controlled scheme working against you.
Next Week: Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
For July 6th: Sharp Teeth
For August 3rd: Michael Chabon's Gentlemen of the Road
X-men Origins: Wolverine hits theaters today and, originally, I had planned to make this list The Top 9 Common Household Items That Remind Me of Wolverine. I decided against that when I realized that every entry on the list would be a variation on the table fork.
Therefore, in place of that comparably mundane countdown, I present to you a collection of well-known characters - both fictional and otherwise - who have that extra special something that makes them all the more memorable.
9. Mr. Fantastic. Probably the least known entity on this list, Mr. Fantastic makes up for his lack of popularity among the masses by being, by and large, the most extendable member of this countdown. I mean, the guy can stretch EVERYTHING. And by "EVERYTHING" I mean he can also stretch his dick. And when I think of extended dicks, my thoughts naturally lead to...
8. Kim Kardashian. Ya know, maybe Kim isn't quite "this list" material... but she is pretty damn popular right now, to the point where nine out of ten people could easily tell you that she's primarily known for having a huge ass. Speaking of being known for having a huge body part, let's talk about...
7. The Coneheads. Their enlarged and elongated craniums are far more iconic than you would expect. Amazingly, this ancient Saturday Night Live sketch managed to return in the mid-90s as a corny spinoff film. Their longevity might be even better than...
6. ZZ Top. The super stretched beards of ZZ Top are both "extra" and "extended," making them natural choices for this list. That's a double whammy right there, folks. They might even have the most famous extended body parts in rock, if not for Tommy Lee and...
5. Gene Simmons. While the awesomeness of KISS as a whole is somewhat up for debate, it's pretty safe to say that the length of Gene Simmons' tongue is universally accepted as "really fucking long." And although this makes for a rather weak transition into our next candidate, Gene is a HUGE fan of Marvel Comics, publisher of...
4. Wolverine. Of course, you knew he was going to be on this list from the start. Wolvie's extendable claws make him extremely iconic on the page and on the big screen. Plus, they make it cool to run around the house with a bunch of kitchen knives between your knuckles. Speaking of kitchens, that reminds me of...
3. Marge Simpson. Marge's giant blue beehive hairdo is the shit. Just admit it. It turns you on. You want to caress it and feel it wrap around you with its warm embrace... I know you do. Don't lie to me or else you'll end up like...
2. Pinocchio. This little guy might just have world's most famous nose. I mean, who's his big competition? Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone else who can claim their fame solely for their proboscis. Still, this devious wooden puppet can't hold a candle to...
1. The Three-Boobied Lady from Total Recall. C'mon! How can you NOT love this chick? I can sum up her elite iconic status in one short phrase that says all you need to know: she's a Martian hooker with three boobs!!!
More: The Top 9 Biggest Superhero Movie Mistakes of the Past Ten Years.
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
It appears to be the case that I'm not quite done talking about this whole ironic enjoyment issue just yet, as much as it's something of a digression from what I'd rather be doing with this column (though, as mentioned last week, I've been rather heavily steeped in high art recently, so not engaging much with notions of pop art or pop culture in the past couple of weeks now, so in a way, the digression is welcome, and clarity is important to me, so...), so here's a final (hopefully) accumulation of thoughts on the matter, this time focusing a bit more about whether or not a hypothetical "sincere" art is really the opposite of ironically enjoyed art.
1) Well, first of all, I need to address Kirsten's comment to Culturology 10.5: In paraphrase, she makes two main points: a) This argument, in general, is an old one, and that the "side" of the argument that I've been advocating is that of the generator-of-artifacts, and b) Ironic enjoyment is crucial to the ongoing health of art/culture, because it is essentially an act of critique, and without critique art/culture would lack the drive for refinement or critique. Actually, I'm going to leave point "a" pretty much alone; I think it's a bit off base, in that the position from which I'm writing, if we are going to agree that ironicizers are critics, is really a meta-critique more than a rebuttal from an artist's point of view. That is, and I'll get back to this more a bit later in this post, I am not concerned with defending the artifact, but rather trying to determine what it is that ironic enjoyers are doing and why it is that I don't trust them, and don't in fact see their activity as being useful to the world of pop culture.
Which leads me to point "b." To place the kind of ironic enjoyment that we've been discussing (and the examples that you yourself give) on the same level as cultural criticism at large is a vast overstatement of what's actually happening when people laugh at the shittiness of shitty pop culture. First of all, for criticism to play an active role in the ongoing evolution of a segment of cultural production, that sector must first of all recognize the importance of the criticism. At least in American popular culture, the whole notion of critique has been absorbed into the structures of entertainment themselves - it is not actual criticism which is welcomed, but rather a certain appearance of such a thing, with a mind towards the market that the quasi-criticism might attract. The primary drives for adjustments of cultural products are demographics and revenue, both of which depend not on criticism but rather focus-groups and market projections. For exceptions that prove the rule, consider the actually good TV shows that were "critically lauded" but "unpopular" (say, for instance, Arrested Development).
To put it another way, there is criticism-from-without and also criticism-from-within; to have the kind of dynamic relationship between artist and critic that Kirsten was talking about, it requires a criticism from within (which, again, can be as simple as the artist recognizing that his/her work is prone to criticism in the first place). This is the sort of principal that lies behind the distinction between movies and film that I was making back in Culturology 006; that we simply can't watch all cultural artifacts from the same point of view when they demand wildly different things from their viewers. Where I think Kirsten goes wrong is in seeing ironic enjoyment as criticism-from-within. This kind of ironic laughing at bad pop culture, while certainly correct in noticing that something is bad, is not productive--is not in dialogue with that artifact. In fact, I argue that it absolutely hinges on the fact that other people don't get the joke. If the people you're criticizing don't get the joke, than how can you expect them to refine their craft based on your laughter?
Which is not to say that criticism from without is not a vital process in its own right (it's mostly what I do, as a critic, as a matter of fact). But again, part of that criticism is an appraisal of the object-of-criticism on its own terms. In this way, we can see criticism as being essentially sincere. The Marxist critic of the capitalist culture industry may well be heavily ironic or cynical in her or his appraisal of pop culture, but it is a critique which comes from a context of sincere belief in alternative structures of cultural existence. The ironic enjoyers have no such stance--they are implicitly arguing for the status quo (yet another season of shitty TV shows to laugh at) while copping an attitude of elitism. Hipsters ironically enjoying House are no more critics than kids that listen to Nu-Metal are rebels.
This brings me to the last point (or set of points) that I want to make on the topic: the kind of popular culture that can be ironically enjoyed is not necessarily "sincere." Pop-cultural artifacts are for the most part products. They can be analyzed and critiqued as such (like picking which brand of canned tangerines to eat). At the same time that I'm not a particular fan of across-the-board ironic enjoyment, I also don't think that critiquing pop culture, necessarily is at all useful--I do enjoy it and find it enjoyable to read about--if we are going to actually be critics, than we should be criticising the system and not the individual bits of output. The kind of sincerity which underpins systematic criticism is the kind which should be embraced, just as the kind of irony that recognizes its own limitations can also be embraced.
At any rate, hopefully this third post now brings things closer to a satisfactory sense of completion (if not closure). I do feel like, if nothing else, it pretty well explicates the stance from which I'm reading culture (which was the intention in the first place--it should be pretty easy now to see how I love Total Recall but hate Donnie Darko). And I should be crawling may way out of all this abstract muck for next week, with more direct and contemporarily-exampled discussions of all things media.
9. Nachos. I want some fucking nachos. Some crappy, 7-Eleven nachos.
8. Root Beer. I want some goddamn root beer with my fucking nachos.
7. Porn. Possibly ebony or asian, but most importantly lesbian.
6. An Action Movie. After the nachos, root beer, and porno, I want a balls-to-the-wall action movie. But not the lame "Bourne" style that they make now. I want a 90s style action movie with weird sci-fi overtones, obvious in-camera special effects (preferably bad makeup FX), and some sort of social commentary. Like Total Recall or Street Fighter.
5. Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. Carmel corn and buttered popcorn flavors only.
4. A Nap. After all that, I'm going to be a little tired.
3. NES Games. After a refreshing nap, what better way to pass the time than by playing some awesome Nintendo Entertainment System video games? I have Super Mario Bros 1 and 3, Pinball, Tetris, Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu, Double Dragon, and Bartman Meets Radioactive Man. I also have Road Runner tucked away somewhere, but that game blows.
2. RoadBlasters. I love my NES game selection at home, but I need more variety. I'm in the mood for RoadBlasters, the awesome driving game where the box art looks like the cars from the cartoon M.A.S.K.
1. Go To Sleep And Do It All Over Again. After I finish playing RoadBlasters, I want to go to bed. Then I want to wake up the next morning and do all of this stuff again, in order. Of course, I'll watch a different porno and a different action movie, but I'll still eat the same stuff and play RoadBlasters by the end. This shall be known as an endless, infinite cycle of fun.
Next: The Top 9 Characters in the Marvel Universe That Have Stepped Up Since Civil War!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
Eraser, Total Recall, Sharon Stone, western Pennsylvania, You Kill Me, Zach Braff, 10 Items or Less, Escape from New York soundtrack, Bobby Byrd, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Original Soul, Beyonce, Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It), If I Were a Boy, Umbrella Academy, Paul Tobin, Marvel Adventures Super Heroes, Panera Bread, Gabriel Brothers, and more.
So I know in my first few columns here that I haven’t been quite as topical as I might be—more or less current, but not as current as I can be—I do aspire to one day being so on the pulse of American Popular Culture as to blog these things as they happen, but until then we’ll just keep turning back the clocks. This time, all the way back to the beginning of September and the Republican National Convention. Specifically, the following video of Rage Against the Machine rocking out acapella for a crowd of protesters (it’s a long video, so I recommend that you fast-forward liberally, watching just enough to become acquainted with its content (like the incredible lameness of the “acapella” guitar sounds everyone makes):
So, wow, it sure is a good thing that RATM got back together this year for the election, huh? If Obama wins, I’m definitely going to credit them for tipping the balance in his favor. But, I’d like to think that its more complicated than that—that I’m being unfair in rather flippantly blowing off RATM’s supposedly politically motivated reunion as rather being a cynical money-grab (though, maybe it's more just an ego thing, not a money thing - they're probably the types that enjoy thinking that they're making a difference). They’re an interesting band, really (what, they totally, like, invented rap-rock, right?), and most interestingly, they’re the one band that I know of that draws listeners from both sides of the American political mainstream most successfully, despite their supposedly inflammatory leftist lyrics. I’ve definitely had jobs of several workplaces where the agreed-upon music to listen to as a whole group was Rage, with the Republican-types generally saying something to the extent of “I don’t really like their politics, but they sure do rock hard!” Exactly! No one has ever given a shit about what they’re singing, so long as it sounded cool (and it does sound cool).
Continue reading 'Culturology 003 - Rallying 'Round the Rally'













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