Tag Archive for 'The Dark Knight'

Culturology 004 - Dick Cheney, We Forgive You

So this week I’d finally look ahead to the future, and talk about something that I’m sure no one else, anywhere, ever, has yet talked about: the title of the new James Bond picture, Quantum of Solace. Or, it’s one of those things that it seems like everyone, just everyone has an opinion about, so I want to go ahead and record my view of the matter here at Culturology for posterity’s and history’s sake. My stance? Eh, it’s really not that bad. It seems like the discussion (as most discussions) breaks down into a simple set of pros and cons.

The pros:

1) It’s unique. I reckon that the title (and off the bat here, albeit parenthetically, I’d like to mention that the fact that it’s an actual title of an actual Ian Fleming story is pretty much completely unimportant) was picked as much for its sound as anything else. Kind of quasi-scientific but thoroughly open-ended. I suppose the expanded title would be something like A Discrete, Sub-Microscopic Amount of Solace. I’ve occasionally heard people complaining that the title doesn’t make any sense, but that really isn’t the case.

2) The notion of solace being right there in the title reminds the viewer that Daniel Craig’s James Bond is a different kind of Bond. Is a quantum of solace all the comfort and peace he’s going to get? Or how much he already has? Or how much he’s looking for? The Pierce Brosnan Bond movies came to be in the decadent mid-to-late ‘90s and, as such, were prone to the same kind of ridiculousness that ruined the Kilmer and Clooney Batman movies (though I generally think that Batman & Robin was so ridiculous that it’s worth keeping around, especially as Exhibit A in my on-going argument that the mid-to-late ‘90s was one of the most decadent and culturally destructive time-periods in American history), as awful titles like Tomorrow Never Dies, and The World is Not Enough demonstrate. Pierce Brosnan was a cardboard cut-out; Daniel Craig is not.

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The Top 9 Things That Suck About Modern Movies

I don’t like to complain about somebody else’s work, especially when I’m not already a creator of the thing I’m trashing. But I’ll make an exception for modern movies. I’m talking about stuff like The Dark Knight and Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. To be safe, let’s say that these following 9 suck factors apply to most movies of the mid-to-late ’00s.

9. The comedy scripts are really dumb and the drama scripts are way too serious.

8. Everything is “dark” all the time. What the fuck does that even mean?

7. Almost every big budget action movie is now a psychological thriller.

6. Catch phrases and reoccurring gags, while formerly being kickass or fun, are now just annoying.

5. Three names that tell me a movie could be better with different actors: Gyllenhaal, Ferrell, and Bale.

4. Do youth always have to be corrupted as their elders reveal a shocking hidden secret?

3. CG in live action films, while having the ability to be excellent, is overused and tends to look like shit.

2. 90 minutes is all I need. If your movie is over 120 minutes, chances are it sucks. A lot.

1. Getting nominated for an Oscar basically means that I will not enjoy watching your movie.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to everything. Some superhero films (notably Iron Man and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer) have been excellent. And animated films have been solid (I’m looking at you, Kung Fu Panda).

Next: The Top 9 Ways to Piss Me Off in the Movie Theater!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Podcast Episode 040

In no particular order we talk about The Dark Knight, Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 3 Chapters 16-21 including Sozin’s Comet, The Strangers, Black Milk, Beatcast 001 Windrider by Nik Furious, Jay Faerber’s Urban Myths, Afua Richardson, Marvel Adventures the Avengers #26, Watchmen movie, Warner Premiere’s Motion Comics Watchmen #1, Sia, and more.

 
 AudioShocker #40 [51:05m]: Play Now | Download

Am I the Only Person That Didn’t Like The Dark Knight?

In defense of The Dark Knight, I was predisposed to disliking it. I’ve been salty with Christian Bale ever since he said that Batman Begins wasn’t a just a comic book movie — it was better. Well guess what Bale? I thought it sucked.

Superhero movie franchises have been lucky in that their sequels often eclipse their first outings. And The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins. But certainly not “biggest opening weekend of all-time” better.

The Batsuit. In ten years, that stiff Batsuit will be almost as laughable as Batnipples on George Clooney.

The Batvoice. “Hey Christian,” Nolan says to the film’s star, “I want you to give me a husky whisper that sounds like you just gargled with whisky and Clorox. And make sure it sounds like @#$%.”

Organized crime in Gotham City. It’s strangely segregated and full of stereotypes. When the Russian, Italian, and black mobsters held a joint meeting with a Chinese corporate criminal, I cringed throughout the whole scene. Most of white characters were stereotyped heavily too — they were all righteous control freaks that went mad with power (from Batman to Harvey Dent to Jim Gordon to even the Joker).

Rachel Dawes. She’s was as stiff as the Batsuit and a total snoozefest.

Excessive runtime. I was ready for The Dark Knight to be over after an hour and a half. To my surprise, I still had AN HOUR TO GO. I would have preferred a “Previously in The Dark Knight…” showing a quick montage of the boring @#$% from the first half of the film, and then BAM! the movie actually starts in as the Joker busts out of jail.

When did Batman stop being fun? Both The Dark Knight and its predecessor are stalwarts of the serious. They struggle to remove any and all camp from the concept of Bruce Wayne and his billionaire’s hobby of crime fighting. C’mon, the guy dresses up like a freakin’ bat! He punches a psychotic clown in the face for fun! Batman is naturally campy. And that’s not a bad thing.

To all the people who produced The Dark Knight and to all those who celebrated its “realistic” qualities while overlooking the fact that the movie was largely devoid of smiles, laughter, and fun:

Why so serious?

The Dark Knight - TXT Message Review

As I came out of the 4pm show today, I received a text message asking me if I wanted to see Batman at 9:15, with a 7:15 dinner/ticket pickup. I curtly informed the gentleman that I had just screened the very same film. When he inquired as to how I had already performed this feat, I promptly replied, “I am a man. I make time for important things.”

It is with this same level of personal duty or dharma, that I bring you my mobile review. As per the usual, 160 characters or less and typed out to Nick with a quickness known only to Jay Garrick and his successors.

Now that’s what im talking about! dent and joker were well cast. twoface makeup is wacker than batman’s voice though. brutal film. savage.

WHY SO SERIOUS?!

Tuesday’s podcast will be heavily focused on The Dark Knight. I hope that isn’t a problem.

Podcast Episode 029

We converse about Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, EuroTrip, Baby Mama, The Love Guru, Romany Malco, Juno, Dane Cook, Hellboy II The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, Joker, your first supervillain, Madame Masque, Magneto, Penguin, Harley Quinn, Stockholm syndrome, Poison Ivy, Lex Luthor, Arkham Asylum, Batman, Shutter, American remakes of Asian films, horror movies, Mamma Mia, ABBA, Tripping the Rift, Afro Samurai, Captain Planet, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, hipsters, Spike Lee movies, Clockers, Crooklyn, Jungle Fever, Mya, Lil Wanye, getting your face tattooed, Cash Money, Juvenile, Manny Fresh, Rachel Ray, extra virgin olive oil, EVOO, whiskey, New Avengers 40, Avengers The Initiative 12, X-Men Legacy 210, Immortal Iron Fist 14, and more than you care to know.

 
 AudioShocker #29 [70:58m]: Play Now | Download