Tag Archive for 'superheroes'Page 2 of 3

The Top 9 Comic Book Superpowers

9. Flight. Who doesn’t want to be able to fly? It’s sweet. But not so sweet that it would top this list. In fact, most superheroes that can fly are given some other sort of ability as well (Superman, Storm, Ms. Marvel, etc). Off the top of my head, the only pure flight hero I can think of is Angel (Warren Worthington III). For a time, he had that “blood can heal you” thing. But I’m sure that’s being retconned as we speak.

8. Enhanced Senses. It’s a simple notion. Take the sensory perception of a normal human and turn it up to 11 (thank you, Spinal Tap). As with characters like Wolverine, these senses are often linked to an animalistic connection. But that sort of totemistic power is a completely different thing. Daredevil is a great example of plain enhanced senses, but I personally prefer the enhanced awareness and reaction time of Slade Wilson (a.k.a. Deathstroke).

7. Invulnerability. This is another superpower often paired with other abilities, most commonly super strength. Superman is invulnerable, mostly as an afterthought. Luke Cage comes close to being a pure holder of this power, but he gained some super strength with his invulnerability. You need look no further than Avengers: The Initiative #13 and Emery Schaub (a.k.a. Butterball), a teen who had no special abilities whatsoever aside from the fact that he couldn’t get hurt.

6. Telepathy. Don’t get me wrong — telekinesis is great and all, but I’d rather have the full range of someone’s thoughts and feelings. Telepathy is the ultimate invasion of personal privacy that seems sort of delicious in a twisted kind of way. Professor Xavier is my favorite telepath, mostly because his power is extensive and he has impressive control over his ability to get into the thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) of others.

5. Agility. Maybe not the most impressive power on this list. In fact, this is probably my “pet power” choice, if only because I’ve always dreamed of rolling out of leaping somersaults like Nightcrawler or daftly dodging blows like Black Panther. Truthfully, I can’t think of a hero who has agility as a singular ability. Tigra’s close, but too totemistic. I’ll go with none other than the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man as the finest example of the ability to perform fantastic gymnastics.

4. Energy Manipulation. This one’s a doozy. I mean, there are so many ways to bend energy, absorb it, and rechannel it out. Endless iterations pop up in comic books because you can draw it however you want, splash it with bright colors, and it looks sweet. My two favorite examples of energy manipulation come in the form of Havok’s concentric blasts and Bishop’s ability to spray you back with whatever energy you shoot at him. (And of course, the Silver Surfer’s Power Cosmic too).

3. Water Manipulation. This one that’s a bit obscure and sure to have its detractors. Still, I think the ability to manipulate water is probably one of the most impressive superpowers. Straying from comics, we’ve seen fantastic examples of water manipulation by Katara in Avatar: The Last Airbender. But in comics, the best example I can think of is Hydro-Man. Yeah, the character is a moron but his powers are absolutely incredible.

2. Density Control. Okay, this one is also a bit obscure. I mean, I actually had to sit down and reason out what density control entails just to write this list. This ability is not to be confused with the mass control of Harry Leland. Instead, I’m talking about Vision’s power to fluctuate between intangible and diamond-hard. Emma Frost and Kitty Pryde represent the opposite sides of this power spectrum, while Vision has the ability to make himself both ethereal and super solid with a mere thought.

1. Invisibility. Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman, is probably the best pure example of this ability. She also has a host of other awesome tricks she can do that are only tangentially related to hiding herself and other objects from view. And that energy manipulation is extremely awesome. But at the end of the day, she would still have my favorite power of any superhero out there if she just had the ability to hide herself in plain sight.

Next: The Top 9 UK Oddities! [instead of The Top 9 Obscure Movie Soundtracks]

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

The Top 9 Superhero Vehicles

9. Fantomex’s E.V.A.

8. Captain America’s Motorcycle

7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Turtle Van

6. Avengers’ Quinjet

5. X-Men’s Blackbird

4. Batman’s Batmobile

3. Fantastic Four’s Fantasticar

2. Wonder Woman’s Invisible Plane

1. Silver Surfer’s Board

Next: The Top 9 Comic Book Superpowers!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Great, You Took a Comic Book and Adapted it Panel by Panel into a Film. Who Gives a Shit?!

The blogosphere is buzzing about Zack Snyder’s “faithful” adaptation of the Watchmen mini series into a film. When I say mini series, I mean it. Watchmen is, in fact, a collection of single issues as opposed to an original novel-length work. But “The Most Celebrated Comic Book Mini Series of All Time” isn’t as impressive, so I understand why it’s universally referred to as a graphic novel. Watching this movie is supposed to be like the comic moving before your eyes (though they already did that with Warner Premiere’s Motion Comics and it looks like poop).

Truthfully, it all leaves me feeling cold. If the movie is just a direct adaptation of the comic, then who gives a shit? I already read Watchmen. It was great. I don’t need to read it again, let alone sit as a captive audience member for some ungodly length of time in a movie theater. By the way, three fucking hours??! Snyder, are you out of your gourd? I sat thru 2.5 hours of The Dark Poop and I almost screamed in pain after 1.5 hours. If Watchmen is going to be 180 minutes, then split it in half ala Kill Bill so I can go home for a couple months in the middle.

Continue reading ‘Great, You Took a Comic Book and Adapted it Panel by Panel into a Film. Who Gives a Shit?!’

Podcast Episode 043

Chop Shop, Step Brothers, Will Ferrell’s nutsack, True Romance, over-hyped Judd Apatow movies, Seth Rogen as the new Lil Jon, Alanis Morissette and Dave Coulie, ProTools and the L1 Ultramaximizer, Dave Cockrum (not Cockring), Superpowers: A Novel by David J Schwartz, Final Crisis #2, She-Hulk #30 and #31, GG Studio, Green Arrow / Black Canary #11, Last Defenders #6, Marvel Adventures Hulk #14, Charlie Barlett, and too much more to remember.

 
 AudioShocker #43 [69:47m]: Play Now | Download

Podcast Episode 041

We stick it to Pigtail Girl, Marvel Adventures Super Heroes #1, Avengers: The Initiative #15, Uncanny X-Men #500, Black Panther #38, X-Men Legacy #214, superhero codenames, Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D, Chromeo, 2D fighting games vs. 3D fighting games, Street Fighter, Winged Migration, voting, celebrity pairings (Rob Schneider and Tom Lennon, Jeremy Piven and Joe Rogan, Tom Arnold and Jim Belushi), Mad Men, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and so much more that we can’t even remember.

 
 AudioShocker #41 [72:40m]: Play Now | Download

Am I the Only Person That Didn’t Like The Dark Knight?

In defense of The Dark Knight, I was predisposed to disliking it. I’ve been salty with Christian Bale ever since he said that Batman Begins wasn’t a just a comic book movie — it was better. Well guess what Bale? I thought it sucked.

Superhero movie franchises have been lucky in that their sequels often eclipse their first outings. And The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins. But certainly not “biggest opening weekend of all-time” better.

The Batsuit. In ten years, that stiff Batsuit will be almost as laughable as Batnipples on George Clooney.

The Batvoice. “Hey Christian,” Nolan says to the film’s star, “I want you to give me a husky whisper that sounds like you just gargled with whisky and Clorox. And make sure it sounds like @#$%.”

Organized crime in Gotham City. It’s strangely segregated and full of stereotypes. When the Russian, Italian, and black mobsters held a joint meeting with a Chinese corporate criminal, I cringed throughout the whole scene. Most of white characters were stereotyped heavily too — they were all righteous control freaks that went mad with power (from Batman to Harvey Dent to Jim Gordon to even the Joker).

Rachel Dawes. She’s was as stiff as the Batsuit and a total snoozefest.

Excessive runtime. I was ready for The Dark Knight to be over after an hour and a half. To my surprise, I still had AN HOUR TO GO. I would have preferred a “Previously in The Dark Knight…” showing a quick montage of the boring @#$% from the first half of the film, and then BAM! the movie actually starts in as the Joker busts out of jail.

When did Batman stop being fun? Both The Dark Knight and its predecessor are stalwarts of the serious. They struggle to remove any and all camp from the concept of Bruce Wayne and his billionaire’s hobby of crime fighting. C’mon, the guy dresses up like a freakin’ bat! He punches a psychotic clown in the face for fun! Batman is naturally campy. And that’s not a bad thing.

To all the people who produced The Dark Knight and to all those who celebrated its “realistic” qualities while overlooking the fact that the movie was largely devoid of smiles, laughter, and fun:

Why so serious?

Podcast Episode 038

Arguing about Hancock, Jason Bateman, Gotham Chopra, Love Guru, Darrell Hammond, Kung Fu Panda, Teeth the movie, The Cool Kids, Twitter Feet, Avatar: The Last Airbender returns next week, perky positive girl, Mandy Moore, Weeds, Spider-Man, multidimensional superheroes, Kill All Parents, Vix #1, Secret Invasion and Final Crisis shirts at Hot Topic, scenesters, and more.

 
 AudioShocker #38 [62:12m]: Play Now | Download

The Top 9 Best Live-Action Superhero Movies (Note: You Will Disagree With This)

Here, in painstakingly particular (and genius) order, are the Top 9 Best Live-Action Superhero Movies of all-time:

9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
8. Blade (1998)
7. Batman: The Movie (1966)
6. X2 (2005)
5. Batman Returns (1992)
4. Iron Man (2008)
3. Batman (1989)
2. X-Men (2000)
1. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

I know what you must be thinking. “Nick,” you’re saying to yourself, “You are completely out of your @#$%ing mind.” But go back and reread the list. The effect should sound something like, “Wait… this list is actually quite brilliant.”

So here’s the thing: I KNOW that people out there will disagree with me. If you think there’s a better Top 9 Best Live-Action Superhero Movies, then post your version in the comments.

However, if you don’t post your own version of this Top 9, I will consider my list as unchallenged and therefore the definitive list of Best Live-Action Superhero Movies by default.

Next: The Top 9 Best B-Movies!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is a better number. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Podcast Episode 034

Speed Racer, Susan Sarandon, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tim Curry, Jennifer Beals, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Holes, Tremors, Roger Dodger, Batman comic books, Andre the Giant, Ron Paul, Street Fighter, Coolio, Jezebel Jet, superhero strength, VitaminWater Formula 50, Fat Joe, Avengers: The Initiative, The Gauntlet, Martin, Ashanti, Ja Rule, Aiwa, Bose, way too much more.

 
 AudioShocker #34 [67:41m]: Play Now | Download

Podcast Episode 022

An interview with Brandon Thomas, writer and co-creator of the comic book series The Many Adventures of Miranda Mercury from Archaia Studios Press. We talk about the series debut, clues for future issues, Lee Ferguson pencils, Marc Deering inks, Felix Serrano colors, Matty Ryan letters, Joe Illidge edits, character design, pitching to publishers, New York Comic Con NYCC, Newsarama, comic book fans, superhero demographics, working with Rob Liefeld, Youngblood, getting name dropped by Mark Millar, and way more. P.S. What you hear is not true. We love you, Neal.

 
 AudioShocker #22 [69:35m]: Play Now | Download