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Captain America Reborn Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Published

nick marino

on June 29, 2009

in Comics and Video Games

. 7 Comments

Captain America gets reborn by Joe Quesada

DOWNLOAD WALLPAPER :: 1280 X 1024 :: 1440 X 900 :: 1600 X 1200

The Marvel vs. Capcom series has a great wealth of fighters. But from the beginning, I've only had one favorite: Steve Rogers, Captain America. I've been playing as Cap at the arcade and at home for as long as I can remember. He never lets me down.

Cap is coming back. In fact, Reborn #1 hits shelves this Wednesday and that's why we're gracing you with this awesome Joe Quesada, Danny Miki, and Richard Isanove variant cover. From what I understand, this cover won't be available for a few more weeks. But here's a little taste to get you pumped for the Reborn reprint, I suppose!

Thanks to Comic Book Resources and their new Cup O' Joe feature for the image. Be back here next Monday for a brand new Iron Man Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Captain America Forever...

Published

nick marino

on June 20, 2009

in Comics

. 0 Comments

Let's be honest: we all saw it coming. However, I expected Monday's news to be a bit more sensational than the return of Steve Rogers... especially considering that it managed to peak at #3 on CNN's top 10 news stories by mid-day.

But no, it's just that simple. Steve Rogers is back. That's what Reborn is all about. The "how" of his return is, I assume, the real shocker here.

I went to the comic shop on Monday evening, which turned out to be a great idea. Not necessarily great because of Captain America #600 (which is a good comic, by the way), but great because I got to hang with Phantom of the Attic's Wayne Wise and the Comic Book Pitt's Scott "The Duke." On a normal Wednesday, it's too busy to hang out and really talk. But on a slow Monday (which it was, despite the Monday release of Cap #600), I had all the time in the world to bullshit before I bought the comic and walked out the door.

So what about Cap's return? He barely ever left, right? This could easily be called "Forever" instead of "Reborn"... except that I think the Reborn title has some literal significance here. Sharon Carter remembers shooting Steve with some sort of wide-mouth gun-shaped thing. To me, it looks like she took a tissue sample with it.

And then we see Sin, the Red Skull's baby girl, in the jail infirmary. She's restrained to her stretcher. But she also looks sort of pregnant, doesn't she? Obviously there's more to meets the eye because Crossbones won't stop saying how people have no idea what really happened.

And then, of course, the Red Robot Skull sits around for a couple pages and soliloquizes about how loved the tension he had with Steve Rogers. He just couldn't get enough of the back and forth fighting. He wanted to kill Cap, of course, but he was also exhilarated by the prospect of battling him constantly. I wonder if he just sits around all day and reminisces like this. The Red Skull has always been a nostalgia-deluded fool under Brubaker, hasn't he?

Suffice to say that I was far more fascinated by the villains in Cap #600. Truthfully, I enjoyed the appearances by Falcon, Rikki, Patriot, and the other heroes. But the baddies were so much more compelling. Plus, the villains seemed to drop way more hints about the direction of Reborn.

The Top 9 Guesses at What the Fuck Is Going on with Captain America

Published

nick marino

on June 5, 2009

in The Top 9

. 1 Comment

Some of you AudioShockerlings may not be familiar with the premise behind this Top 9, so I'll explain it quick: Captain America #600 is receiving an unprecedented Monday (instead of Wednesday) release on June 15th, 2009. Then, only weeks later, Marvel Comics is putting out the Reborn miniseries by the current writer of Captain America (and the first issue features a cover with Cap's star on it and nothing else). Marvel Comics loves the limelight, so they obviously have something big going on.

A few things to know: Captain America is dead. Well, erm, actually, Steve Rogers is dead. He got shot a few years ago. He's almost always been Cap, but now his former WWII protege is wearing the red, white, and blues. Also, the "solicitation" copy (a.k.a. the description) of Reborn #1 will be revealed on June 16th, the day after Cap #600 hits. And there's a Captain America movie slated for the summer of 2011. So it's all interconnected and there's some secretive shit going down.

So what the fuck is really going on with Captain America? Here are my most educated and asinine guesses:

9. Captain America was raped by Doctor Light. To start some sort of 21st century Marvel Comics / DC Comics crossover, the companies have decided to show us that sexual abuse isn't just for the ladies anymore. One day, Doctor Light snuck into the Avengers Mansion and took Steve Rogers from behind when he wasn't looking. Hilarity ensues.

8. Captain America raped Doctor Light. Seems a little more shocking than the alternative, doesn't it?

7. Steve Rogers never died, he was just a Skrull the whole damn time. Since Steve's corpse received a secret burial at sea by Iron Man, Hank Pym, Namor, and the Wasp, not too many folks actually saw the body of Captain America for the last time. Wasp kicked the bucket in Secret Invasion, Tony Stark is currently erasing his entire brain while on the run from the US government, and Namor is busy ogling Emma Frost's boobies all day long. Conveniently, Hank Pym was actually a Skrull at that time (and thus will be referred to as Skank Pym from here on out). After the four of them dumped Steve's "corpse" into the Arctic Ocean, Skank Pym went down there and picked up the Steve Rogers impersonator (who was just feigning death). As Reborn #1 opens, Skank Pym and fake Steve are headed back to their Skrull spaceship where the crew is currently in the process of anally probing the real Steve Rogers just for kicks.

6. Sharon Carter is going to give birth to an elderly Steve Rogers who will de-age to be Captain America again. The title of the upcoming miniseries is reborn... so what if that title was literal? Inspired by the success of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Marvel Comics has decided to literally have Steve Rogers reemerge from the womb. How? Time travel, of course! Sharon Carter, Cap's secret agent girlfriend, thinks that she was impregnated by Steve Rogers shortly before he died. She's wrong. She was actually impregnated by an android from the future. First, the android traveled back in time to secure a sample of semen from Steve Rogers' father. Then it headed back to the future where the semen was genetically engineered to include a preexisting dosage of the Super Solider Serum. Then the android traveled to the exact point in time where Steve and Sharon were getting ready to have hot and heavy sex. The android drugged Steve and took his place. After doing the deed, the android returned home to the future. Back in our present, despite being "de-pregnated" by the Red Skull, Sharon Carter gives birth to an elderly Steve Rogers. She cares for him until Cap can get the shield swinging again. And then, in a shocking twist.. they become lovers! That's right - Sharon starts getting it on with the superhero who emerged from her own vagina as a 90-year-old man. Now that's entertainment.

5. Captain America was raped by Sharon Carter. Though not nearly as shocking as other scenarios, it provides an interesting backdrop for an exploration of female-on-male sexual abuse. The collected edition of this story will be in bookstores just in time for the Captain America movie.

4. The new Captain America is Batman. Over at DC Comics, everyone thinks Batman is dead. Actually, Bruce Wayne is just lost in reality. Reborn opens as the Caped Crusader is shifting across multiple different alternate realities, trying to find his way home. Bats ends up in the Marvel Universe, where he decides to have some fun and suit up as the Star Spangled Avenger. Image the merchandising and cross-promotion possibilities for Marvel and DC. We're talking big bucks, baby! Big bucks!!!

3. Steve Rogers was actually Barack Obama the whole time. Nothing sells comic books nowadays like a guest appearance by Barack Obama. Not to be outdone by the competition, Marvel Comics has decided to secretly make our 44th American president the Sentinel of Liberty. The reason Cap was "shot" in the first place? So Obama could have more time to run for president. Now that he's president, Obama wants to get back to kicking ass... Captain America style! Also, this would coordinate well with the rumor that Marvel Studios wants to cast Will Smith as Captain America. This way, Smith gets to play both Barack Obama AND Captain America in the same time movie.

2. Captain America raped Barack Obama. Seems eve more shocking than the other alternatives, doesn't it?

1. Captain America was actually Hitler the entire time. At some point during WWII, Hitler managed to kill Steve Rogers. But instead of bragging about it, Hitler decided to put on Cap's costume and impersonate him (sans creepy moustache, of course). Fast forward a year or so, and Adolf is tired of fighting the war. He fakes BOTH of his own deaths and goes underground. Years later, after extensive genetic modification, he reemerges as the "unfrozen" Captain America and joins the Avengers. He proceeds to pretend to be Steve Rogers for far longer than anyone could ever imagine. Sick of the endless charade, Adolf fakes his own death AGAIN and goes underground to plot his rebirth. In Reborn, Hitler reveals his master plan and shocks everyone by proving that he was Captain America the whole time. Then he rapes Barack Obama. The end.

More: The Top 9 Currently Dead Superheroes and Supervillains

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

The Hollywood Reporter Announces Director of The First Avenger, Runs Picture of the Wrong Captain America

Published

nick marino

on November 10, 2008

in Movies

. 4 Comments

On Sunday, The Hollywood Reporter announced Joe Johnson as the director of 2011's The First Avenger: Captain America. On the good side, this movie looks like it's actually going to happen. On the bad side -- as it is with any superhero adaptation announcement -- there were a number of oddities with The Hollywood Reporter's article.

1. The title. "First Avenger"? The original Avengers are the ones who un-froze Cap from his Arctic cryogenic stasis in the first place! How the hell is he the "first Avenger"?! I know that this title has been out there for some time now, but I thought I'd mention this as it is endlessly perplexing.

2. The time the article was posted. When I went to look at the official date of announcement, I was surprised to find that this story dropped at 10:00 PM on a Sunday. I know it has to be ready for the Monday papers, but that's still a strange time to go and publish it online.

3. Joe Johnson is directing Captain America instead of Ant-Man. You would think that Johnson, with his notable experience as the director of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, would have been tapped for the Ant-Man movie. Nope. They gave him a WWII Captain America period piece instead. This guy obviously knows how to do small stuff on a big scale, yet he's been hired to take over the superhero that requires the least amount of fantasy special effects.

4. The picture accompanying the article. The Hollywood Reporter went out of their way to give a brief history of Steve Rogers, even going so far as to mention the horrid 90s Captain America film. But they ran a picture of the wrong Captain America!!!

Instead of showing Steve Rogers in costume, they have Bucky wearing the new Captain America outfit. WTF?! It could be Marvel's fault or it could be THR's fault. Either way, it's both funny and sad at the same time. You can even see the knife hanging on Bucky's belt in the image (not to mention those goofy stars on his shoulders).

All-in-all, I'm glad that this is going to get made. I would much rather see a Captain America movie set in the 70s with Steve and The Falcon fighting side-by-side, but any good Cap movie is better than no Cap movie.

Most of all, I'm excited at the prospect of this film hitting theaters a month or so before The Avengers movie. That means Cap will end up in the Arctic at the end of this film and then he'll get de-thawed in The Avengers just mere weeks later. That's awesome!!! I can't even think of another example of tight movie continuity like that. I'm about to piss myself just imagining how sweet that will be.

The Incredible Hulk - TXT Review 2 and Cameo Spoilers

Published

nick marino

on June 14, 2008

in Movies and TXT Message Reviews

. 3 Comments

Here's what I sent to Neal on the ride home from the movie theater:

Movie was real mediocre. And i stayed all the way thru the credits for nothing! I thought liv tyler was the best actor in it. Roth was good too.

That about sums up how I feel about the whole thing. Now here are a few quick cameo spoilers for those who go to see The Incredible Hulk:

1. Director Louis Leterrier has been spouting off about a Captain America cameo, which is grossly misleading. My guess is that SPOILERS! when Thunderbolt Ross pulls a blue vial out of a weird cryo-bucket marked Dr. Reinstein, that blue goo inside the vial is some "Captain America" (remember, Leterrier never said anything about a Steve Rogers cameo).

2. Is that a secret Luke Cage cameo I saw when the Abomination starts smashing around in Harlem??? This may just be wishful thinking on my part, but we get a quick glimpse at a sizable looking guy running onto the street instead off the street when Harlem is getting torn up. I think this is none other than Carl Lucas a.k.a. Luke Cage. The tipping point: he's decked out in yellow.

3. Don't stay past the credits. There's nothing there. The Tony Stark cameo at the end of the film hits right before the credits, but it looks like it was supposed to follow them. Nick Fury makes no appearances (though his name flashes across the screen briefly). After the credits wrapped, the crowd at my theater was complaining that Nick Fury didn't show up. Sucks he wasn't there but how awesome is it to hear moviegoers complaining about a lack of Nick Fury?!!

ComicShocker Week 19 2008

Published

nick marino

on May 7, 2008

in Comics and Movies

. 1 Comment

Iron Man. Can you believe it did so well? I can barely believe it.

The most interesting thing I'm experiencing right now is the stunningly favorable popular sentiment about the quality of the film. People who have never picked up a comic book and never will are telling me how it's their favorite superhero film they've ever seen.

A friend of mine raised a good point -- this movie was all about Tony Stark. Iron Man showed up a few times, but we were sold the genius inventor billionaire for the majority of the film instead of the guy in a robot suit.

A great observation, if you ask me. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm still shocked by how well this movie has been received. I'm extremely pleased for Marvel Studios, I'll tell you that. And I'm glad to see that Shellhead is green lit for a sequel. Thor, well, I'm iffy on that.

And 2011? Damn, that should be a fine year for comic book movies. When I was sitting in the theater watching Iron Man, I just kept thinking to myself, "this movie is okay, but how awesome will the Captain America movie be?" Seeing Cap tossing his shield around on the big screen will be a rather religious day for me. No doubt this movie will eclipse the earlier Captain America film.

That same year will see the Avengers movie, if everything goes to plan. Man, how are they going to pull that off? The first test was the Samuel L Jackson cameo after the Iron Man credits. That was good. The next test will be the Robert Downey Jr cameo as Iron Man in The Incredible Hulk. That's probably my most anticipated movie moment of the year right there.

I know that some have decried the idea of a Captain America movie separate from the Avengers film. My feeling is that we need to see Cap slinging his shield away from the big team to really appreciate the character. We need to see Falcon gliding across the New York City skyline while Cap leaps from rooftop to rooftop. I think we need to see Cap's mettle tested by going up against the Sons of the Serpent or Hate-Monger.

Not saying I'm right about any of that, mind you. I just think we need to understand Steve Rogers as a man coming to grips with the America that exists outside of his ideals. That way we get a better feel for the motivation and majesty of the person that he is (and there better be some Falcon in there!!!).

P.S. How trippy was it to see Obadiah Stane on a giant movie screen?