Personally, I have never understood the cultish fascination people have with Nike Air Jordans. To me they are just expensive basketball shoes - but what do I know. Immensely popular, Jordans have been coming out steadily since about the time I was born. Of course, with great fashion comes great clothing care. Nelly just released this Public Service Announcement, Stepped on My J’z, to educate us all about the dangers that may befall your new Nikes.
The Track: Nelly is no stranger to songs about fashion accessories or shoes, ie Grillz and Air Force Ones. He also has a good working relationship with Jermaine Dupri. A recipe for success right? Well it’s a recipe, that’s for sure. The track sounds like a LOT like Grillz - minus knock. I suppose I should appreciate his dedication to a particular subject and being able towrite an entire song about it, but I can’t. Downright trite and derivative I say! Singing a song where half the lyrics read like a Jordan’s catalog exhibit’s neither talent nor creativity.
There is no point discussing the outlandishness of the message here either. Obviously there are worse things than scuffing your $200 Nikes. But, to put it in perspective - if I were 16 and had just spent $200 on new shoes - a scuff would seriously fuck up my whole day.
Right after Ciara’s verse, Nelly throws back to J-Kwon’s Tipsy and it totally made my day. All the lyrical genius is stored right here: “patent leather #11’s we call ‘em Space Jams,” “a spare off in my car just in case I catch a scar” That is what I expect for a top tier artist like Nelly. Sadly, 15 seconds of genius isn’t going to make up for the other 4.75 minutes of crap.
The Video: What possesses a man to write two songs about Nikes? Most likely a lot of free shoes. Perhaps Nelly can give SJP some tips. Homeboy is decked out in Jordan gear from head to toe. It borders on shameless label whoring. The video is a commercial for the cult of Air Jordan. If you like Jordan’s you’ll probably like it, and if not (like me) - you won’t.
The scene with the dude in the Celtics Jersey may not seem funny, but it is probably the funniest part of the video. That or Dupri’s ridiculous glasses. Nelly doesn’t exactly excel at comedy the way someone like T.I. does.
The turning point is when Ciara shows up, out of nowhere, and reminds us of her important contributions to hiphop. Namely, her excellent dancing skills and smoking’ hot body. Is she dropping an album anytime soon? The last one was pretty good.
The Bottom Line: I’ll watch anything with Ciara in it.
Yes you read that headline correctly, I do not want to stick it to SJP. Obviously, there is her resemblance to Dee Snyder. It is well documented so I won’t waste ink on it, but it really is uncanny. Also, in Flight of the Navigator - she 
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