AudioShocker

A restaurant, that’s the inspiration for today’s feature. More specifically, a casual dining ‘make your own stirfry‘ restaurant. A supplier was in town and wanted to pitch me on why we should buy his widgets. The data spoke for itself, but old boy is in the business of assuring customers and that means exercising the expense account.

Our server Holly was a trim brunette, either 20 or 24. Dressed in her catering/stagehand uniform she offered us drinks, (teetotal as it was early on Wednesday), and then flitted off to another table. I sat with a view of the wait station and as such was granted unadulterated access to Holly as she punched in orders, filled up drinks and worked her section. It was from this vantage point that I noticed her hair.

At first the pigtails seemed like an afterthought, as in ‘crap I’m late for work and I haven’t done my hair!’ But upon inspection, I noticed the zigzag part, evenness, and symmetry - this coiffure was calculated. Unbraided and short, Holly’s pigtails didn’t stand at attention like the juvenile version. They started just above the ears and stopped short of her shoulders. I found myself quite distracted and totally unable to concentrate on old boy’s entreaties. For the entire meal and sometime afterward I wondered if a hairstyle alone could increase tips.

So, what is the appeal? Why am I so infatuated with a hairstyle generally reserved for toddlers? Sure, there is the schoolgirl angle - but I think it really goes back to The Rock and Vanessa Marcil. Specifically the scene where engaged in ‘relations’, she asks Nick Cage if he likes her pigtails. Right then me and every other pubescent boy in the crowd pretty much yelled YES. Screw the missiles. Forget the VX nerve gas. Sean Who? We just wanted more pigtail! (This was also the only time I ever wanted to be Nick Cage) I don’t think I need to explain this anymore. Either you’re with me or you aren’t.

The bottom line: Pigtails. Yes please!