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TV Tickles Neal's Pickle

Published

on February 22, 2010

in TV

. 3 Comments

Well then. Monday continues to be the worst possible day to write a column. In the (continual) absence of anything substantial to write about, I will talk about TV. More specifically, what is tickling my pickle my these days. And yes, tomorrow's podcast probably covers like half of this.

Human Target - this show is a bonafide problem, so act like you know. Mark Valley's boyscout character on Boston Legal was laughably dismissed as a 'Ken Doll' more than once. (James Spader was truly spot on with that observation) However, Valley is exactly the right person to play Christopher Chance. He's a bodyguard for hire with a former cop partner and a witty/subversive/unabashed thief helper. I think it's kind of daring to have a regular cast of three guys with no recurring female roles (s0 far). But, it works, and Jackie Earle Haley is finally getting his due as Guerrero.

Modern Family - Yup. It's that good. It's like some network/creative genius was like "what if we make a really funny show about a really diverse family situation" and then managed to execute that. And though I am a super late comer to the show, there is zero learning curve. There is like zero continuity between episodes.

Archer - I watch this garbage because there is swearing, H. Jon Benjamin and Aisha Tyler. That is pretty much it. It is like a weird combination of AdultSwim concepts like Home Movies, The Boondocks, and ATHF/Sealab/Frisky Dingo all rolled into animated shitshow. You probably won't like it, but I kind of do.

Community - I slept on this show for a while too, but I find it significantly funnier/fresher than some of the other stuff (see below) on NBC right now. Perhaps it's all about the Abed and Troy dynamic. That or Chevy Chase in his most phoned in role ever.

Things that no longer tickle my pickle include: The Simpsons, 75% of Seth MacFarlane's stuff, The Office and most 30Rock episodes. I am just sorta done with those.

Better Off Ted, and the second coming of Scrubs (which is like having feelings for your ex-girlfriend who broke your heart three times) all are in my rotation but eh... only if Hulu puts them in my queue.

And that, is all she freaking wrote. Also, LAST CALL FOR MBA Media and Entertainment Conference Tickets (Friday, Feb 26th, all day at NYU)

Television, Agent of Hydra

Published

neal

on November 11, 2009

in TV

. 6 Comments

When I lived alone, in Peoria of all places, I did not have cable. I survived on Netflix, Bittorrent, and during my last 2 years Hulu. It worked fairly well, but things were just inconvenient enough that following more than three or four shows concurrently was unwieldy. Then I moved to NYC and started living with four other dudes, three TV's, two DVRs, and a dynamite non-strike TV season (Glee!). Combine that with a schedule that doesn't have much slack and things get hairy.

'Rational' folks might simply say: stop watching so much TV, or catch up on the weekend, DVR everything, cut down on your shows, and the patently ridiculous - wait for the DVD. Listen folks, none of those solutions are 100% feasible, even in combination. I'm at school almost all week, literally. TV time is my time and keeps me from imploding. DVR space is limited with 4 roommates. And wait for the DVDs? Do you start buying PS3 gear when the PS5 comes out? Yeah, didn't think so.

The only real solution I see is one of tough love: divorcing shows. There are plenty of quick wins with this strategy. Heroes sucked from the get go, and letting go mid-season 2 was a breath of fresh air to my schedule. HIMYM made it easy by sucking so much after season 3. Scrubs was a no-brainer once I woke up and realized how un-endearing Sac Breath Braff really was. Alas, these are but the low hanging fruit.

Cut off one show and 2 shows grow in it's place

Cut off one show and two more shall take its place!

Powerhouses like House has proven a bit harder to quit. I keep going back to it, and even Tim Roth's Lie to Me has shown great tenacity. But I'm done with them. I can no longer tolerate Hugh Laurie or Dr. Lightman. But, there exists a fundamental problem with this hack and slashery.

Every time you cut out a show, those wily TV execs throw two more in your way. (eh eh, see how good I am with titles) After quitting House, Parks and Recreation popped into my rotation and brought The League with it just to add insult to injury. I mean fuck, when did TV Execs wake up and start making moderately entertaining shows with just enough laugh value to engage me? Goddamn you superior formula based programming!!!!

Even when shows cut themselves off (ATHF, Sealab 2020, Home Movies), new shit springs up to replace them (The Venture Brothers, Squidbillies, Metalocalypse). And don't get me started on the half/summer season shows on HBO/Showtime or delayed starts like Chuck. Ugh.

I'm not sure how to handle this ridiculous head/show proliferation, but it's only a matter of time before my entire week is devoted to TV and I become an indoor kid again, complete with orange Cheeto fingers.

In short: FML

I Call Shenanigans On the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards

Published

neal

on January 14, 2009

in Music

. 9 Comments

Ok people, the internet and I do not have a new music video review for you. Instead, please consider the following list of MTV Music Video Awards winners from 1999 and tell me it isn't suspect.

Video Of The Year	Lauryn Hill, “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
Male Video	Will Smith, “Miami”
Female Video	Lauryn Hill, “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
Group Video	TLC, “No Scrubs”
Rap Video	Jay-Z feat. Ja Rule & Amil-Lion, “Can I Get A …”
Dance Video	Ricky Martin, “Livin' La Vida Loca”
Rock Video	Korn, “Freak on a Leash”
Hip-Hop Video	Beastie Boys, “Intergalactic”
New Artist	Eminem, “My Name Is”
Video from a Film	Madonna, “Beautiful Stranger, ”Austin Powers 2
R&B Video	Lauryn Hill, “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
Direction	Fatboy Slim, “Praise You”
Choreography	Fatboy Slim, “Praise You”
Art Direction	Lauryn Hill, “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
Editing	Korn, “Freak on a Leash”
Cinematography	Marilyn Manson, “The Dope Show,”
Special Effects	Garbage, “Special”
Breakthrough Video	Fatboy Slim, “Praise You”
Viewers' Choice	Backstreet Boys, “I Want It That Way (source: Infoplease.com)

I think It is remarkable that out of 19 categories, Lauryn Hill walked away with 4 Moon Men, and Fatboy Slim took 3. Were the post-Fugees and overly accessible 'techno' that appealing to our collective musical pallete? (Ugh, FUCK Moby) Additionally, I have no idea how Will Smith's Miami got Best Male Video (and why are there gender specific categories?). Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It was great in 1998, but past success should not be used as a basis for future accolades.

And weren't boy bands huge until at least 2001? How then did the Backstreet Boys get Viewer's Choice but nothing else? I call shenanigans all over this list. Nonplussed, I dug deeper and pulled up the 1998 list. While it skews toward rock/alt, Madonna's Ray of Light just totally kills it - 5 Moon Men! How is Madonna spastically moving in front of a green screen worthy of awards for great choreography, direction, or editing? Could it be sales?

Let's look into that, according to the BillBoard Hot 100 and The Village Voice, the top single of 1999 was either Cher's Believe or TLC's No Scrubs. I don't see Lauryn Hill or Fatboy Slim anywhere. This suggests that the VMAs are based on something other than spins or sales. Fair enough, this is the Video Music Awards. But wait...

BOMBSHELL - Britney Spears' first single...Baby One More Time was released in Q4 1998, the album was released January 12th 1999, and the 1999 VMAs were in September. It does not add up. How is it that from 1998-2000, Spears won exactly zero Moon Men? Seriously, how many of you called TRL to request that video?

Personally, I am a little surprised that TLC's No Scrubs didn't clean up. That video was what 1999 was all about - hip hop explicitly defining the vernacular and the end of the shiny suit. TLC was pretty huge in the 90s: Creep, Waterfalls, etc., and No Scrubs was a major hit. Even Jay-Z and rat-faced Ja Rule's Can I get A... or Ricky Martin's Livin' La Vida Loca would have been better choices than Doo Wop or Praise You.

Of course, the VMAs are indicative of nothing. They do not represent music sales, viewer requests, or any other quantifiable measure. Like all awards shows, they are a foil for shameless PR, red carpet pageantry, live performances, and mirror-facing self-congratulatory masturbation. It looks like MTV has recently (at least in 2008) extended the voting process to the public. Still, who are they fooling? You can't divorce a song from its music video. Nobody wants to watch a music video, no matter how awesome it is, if the accompanying song does not appeal to them.

Granted, my argument may have a few holes, and this is all based on two hours of armchair research, but I just cannot buy the 1999 MTV VMA results.

Here is big my question for the MTV VMA judges/voting committee: If Nick and I shoot a UAL video and pony up some guap, can we have the 2009 awards for Best Group/Rap/Breakthrough Video? We need to know soon, so that we can get our entourage ready.

Lil Wayne - Mrs. Officer - "I Said Lady What's Your Number, She Said 911"

Published

neal

on November 19, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

I give Lil Wayne a hard time here at the AudioShocker, I really do. I've also said that 2008 has been the year of Weezy, T-Pain, and their joint reign of vocoder terror. That said, sometimes you hear a new song on the radio by an artist you don't particularly care for and it gets you sprung. As I was driving home the other night, I caught wind of Mrs. Officer feat. Bobby Valentino (another hot/cold artist in my book) and I had to tell you all about it.

The Track: Tell me you don't like Valentino's weeohweeohweeohwee cop call chorus thing. I love it -- almost as much as I love Weezy for NOT using a vocoder on this. That is huge for me. Maybe the vocoder is done for 2008? The beat is laid back and I'm actually pretty surprised this was not released as a summer jam, would have been big.

And the rhymes!! I can't hate - Weezy keeps it hot.

She know I'm raw, she know I'm from the streets // And all she want me to do is fuck the police

And after we got done, I said lady what's your number she said 911

Breakfast in bed turn into breakfast and head (this verse isn't in the video)

The obligatory negatory: Wayne has taken up an affectation that I am dubbing 'The Dorian Self-Laugh'; it was first brought to light by Dr. Cox on Scrubs. Zack Braff's J.D. did this stupid self laugh whenever he made a joke and no one else thought it was funny. Well, Weezy has been doing the same thing recently - after every. single. line. Other examples? Check T-Pain's Can't Believe It and Mike Jone's Cuddy Buddy. It's like the new delay double and I find it similarly bothersome. Hopefully, Mr. Carter will grow out of it quickly. However, given his repertoire of vocoder hits this year, it may be a while.

The Video: Hot cops may be cliche, but they make for an entertaining video. I mean who hasn't wanted to get it on with a Hot Cop? Ladies and Lads alike. It's the basis for an entire genre of porn. Frisking hot perps? I want to do that. Mugshot modeling? I've seen it before, but I still chuckled. 3 hot cop dancers and squad cars? Yeah, I can suspend disbelief. Obviously this isn't anything groundbreaking or new, but it's easily digestible fluff that I can watch it more than once.

While somewhat unrelated, I disliked that the 2nd video Comfortable used the same video treatment/model. I am of the mind that videos self contained packages that can stand on their own. But Comfortable is easy to ignore, so it's all good.

The Bottom Line: Perhaps this is some of that 'change we can beleive in'

Chuck Returns Tonight, AIMcast to Follow

Published

neal

on September 29, 2008

in TV

. 1 Comment

The season premiere of Chuck is tonight (8pm EST) and I'm pretty excited. I got into the show during winter break last year and I enjoyed it a lot. As with Entourage, the main character is irrelevant. Chuck's peers provide a steady stream of comedy and entertainment. Considering how popular aging comedies likes Scrubs and the recently shark-jumped How I Met You Mother are, I figured it would take off quickly. Unfortunately the WGA strike happened and the rest is history. But that's all water under the bridge, Chuck is back with a full 22 episode season!

AudioShocker contributor and food blogger extraordinaire Kirsten will be joining me for a postmortem AIMcast directly following the broadcast; the transcript will be up tomorrow.

AIMCast 02 - Crocs, Scrubs, and Hummus

Published

neal

on June 10, 2008

in AIMcast Episodes

. 6 Comments

As Nick noted earlier, there is no podcast this week. But all is not lost! I rounded up our two favorite readers Ro and Kirsten (Sorry Gotham and Tom), for another super duper AIMcast! So join us as we discuss old comics, Scrubs, Mad Men, Flight of the Conchords, Hillary / Obama / McCain and the presidential race, ugly shoes including Ugg Boots and Crocs, Sandler's new movie You Don't Mess With the Zohan, our dislike for Sex and The City, the plight of Borders Bookstores, and so much more.

Once again, special thanks to Kirsten for her excellent editing and Ro for taking time out of her super busy Sunday night.

AIM: boomcity 6/8/08 8:38 PM
Neal has joined this chat.
Ro has joined this chat.
Kirsten has joined this chat.
Kirsten: Oh, it's time!
Neal: Well yeah. It is
Ro: Hey hey
Kirsten: What's up, bitches?
Ro: Nada much, just reading some Calvin and Hobbes
Kirsten: Good stuff
Neal: Man, I miss old comics --- remember The Far Side?
Ro: Oh yeah!
Ro: Doesn't that still come out?
Ro: or no?
Neal: Neh, it doesn't.
Continue reading 'AIMCast 02 - Crocs, Scrubs, and Hummus'

TV Wrapup - Week 44 2007

Published

neal

on October 31, 2007

in TV

. 0 Comments

In case your Tivo fucked up, the AudioShocker crew has this week's TV highlights: Weeds

30 Rock - returns 11/08

Dexter - Lila drops trou, Dex confronts someone from his past, and Deb is the most paranoid woman ever. Then again, she was engaged to a serial killer.

Weeds - Mary-Kate is gone, Doug spills the bongwater, Andy continues to get in trouble, Nancy nearly cuts a bitch, and huge spoiler: Conrad catches another case of Jungle Fever.

Scrubs - Does anyone really care after last week's abysmal premiere? We quit this show.

House - The patient is a mirror, House thinks 13 is hot, Kal Penn hates hot tubs, Foreman won't leave, no one gets fired, and Cuddy has a nice rack.

Heroes - Horn Rim gets gangsta, Hiro steals a kiss, Nikki looks hotter than last season, Peter has to save the world again (big suprise), and did we mention that Sylar is basically the world's biggest super-asshole?

How I Met Your Mother - Ted is a pornstar, Jon Cho gueststars, and Lilly stress-shops. Robin and Barney kind of ride the pines this ep. Not a stellar episode, but way better than last week.

The Boondocks - Stinkmeaner returns from Hell and takes over Tom's body while Grandad discovers Myspace. 'What's really good?' Not this episode. Special appearance by Ghostface Killah. Homie does WAY to many cameos.

To summarize: Jon Cho, Kal Penn, and Ghostface were all on TV this week - could life get any better?