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I don’t have cable. I consume media via Netflix, torrent, and various streaming sources. That said, I noticed that MTV started a new feature on Friday nights called FNMTV. Basically, Pete Wentz (the D-bag that knocked up Ashlee Simpson, hosted a segment involving a bunch of new music videos with some wrap-around filler. I am ashamed to say it, but I love the idea of getting 5 new videos to criticize at a time. It’s like a game, ‘how pejorative can I be in 30 minutes?’ I can’t wait till next week!
The new music videos are linked below along with a very brief synopsis. Honestly, I disliked all of these videos enough that I won’t waste our time with full length reviews.
Flo Rida w/ Will.I.Am - Ayer
Will.I.Am and Flo Rida do a club track with a crappy hook - in a bank. At least it’s not about strippers this time. Of note: the video girls are not up to par; I posit this video was done on the cheap - ironic considering the setting.
The Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go
It’s basically a younger (blonde) version of The White Stripes. Remember Seven Nation Army? Yeah, this is just like that. Seriously, track and video.
Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up
Carmit, Kimberly, Ashley, Jessica, and Melody - I totally get it. You wanted to be famous sooo bad that you smeared on fake tanner, took dance classes, and did a lot of crunches. And look, you totally got it! Now you get to dance in the background and compete for screentime while Nicole sings! Sofa King Great!
Snoop Dogg ft. Everlast and Willie Nelson - My Medicine
Hey Snoop - didn’t Nelly have a country crossover hit back in 2004 with Tim McGraw? Aren’t you a bit late to the party? Snoop is a pimp no matter what medium he operates in. This ‘country’ track is no exception. I have to give him cred for attempting this, but “I’d like to dedicate this record right here to my main man Johnny Cash - a real American Gangster” Are you effing serious?
Panic at the Disco - That Green Gentleman (Live)
A live performance is hardly a video - and I am fairly ignorant about this group. So, I looked up the actual video. WAY BETTER. I don’t dig the track, but the video is totally watchable.
And the coup de grace: Snoop Dogg and Panic At the Disco - Gin and Juice
E P I C F A I L. This is as pointless and brand damaging as Snoop’s shortlived TV show. I know, I know, MTV sort of created you - but did you take a bloodoath or something requiring you to do whatever they ask?
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