It's the Turtlecast finale as we talk about the TMNT video games (NES games! the arcade game!), Kevin Eastman's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Artobiography, the Coming Out of Their Shells concert tour, and listener feedback from Aaron M. Conley. NEXT: a strange transmission from the future is trying it's damnedest to make it's way to the present... will we ever hear the haunting results????
Tag Archive for 'NES'
Nick is not feeling Fanboys, Neal is not feeling Transporter 3, Lil Flip raps about Kim Kardashian while Hurricane Chris raps about Halle Berry, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever sucks, Nick is listening to a lot of video game music from vgmusic.com (Contra is the best), the guys reminisce about watching Booker T. play live, Death of Autotune prompts Nick to serenade Neal with Believe (you know, by Cher), the guys wanna know what happened to Alia Shawkat, and Nick talks about Captain America #600 (new) and Iron Man #182 (old).
Let's be honest - Hollywood is so fucking desperate nowadays that they'll turn anything into a movie. They love cherry picking from video games and comics because an established brand means less marketing (or, at least, easier marketing).
We can all agree that there are plenty of video games that would make awesome movies. But I think it's safe to say that some video games should never EVER let the lens tell their tale, including:
9. Dr. Mario. At first, I was going to give this slot to Circus Charlie, one of the few scrolling games that would have appeared on this list. But then I remembered my Dr. Mario addiction that I suffered from earlier in this decade - I was so hooked on playing this game that I had to literally go cold turkey. I haven't played a single second of Dr. Mario since that time. The addictive properties of this game may compel some hapless producer out there to try and develop a movie, but I guarantee you that it would be pure crap, through and through.
8. Anticipation. This has got to be the least popular game on this list, which means that many of you have probably never played it. Good for you. This game was the torture of my NES-playing childhood. It's like a game show or board game adapted to the Nintendo Entertainment System... and it blows. While most of the other games on this list are at least fun to play, this one is painful. Basically, the movie potential for Anticipation is non-existent and the game play is awful.
7. Arkanoid. I must confess that, on some my more bizarre days, I've attempted to conjure up a coherent narrative around Arkanoid's premise: controlling the last vestige of the mothership Arkanoid, you are the spaceship know as Vaus, which hits a silver sphere around until things break apart (namely, your enemy named Doh). While I love the insane premise that Arkanoid is more than a glorified Pong paddle slapping a little ball back and forth, I would never allow my love of Arkanoid delude me into thinking that it would make for a great film. I suggest that Hollywood movie producers follow my lead and let this concept stay relegated to video games.
6. Marble Madness. I know that this was generally accepted as a good game back in the day, but I always hated it as a kid. And now it's one of the few classic popular video games that I haven't played as an adult. While I'm sure that (at some point in the late 1980s) it crossed the minds of a few film producers, Marble Madness has never been developed into a feature film. I think that was for the best, don't you?
5. Bejeweled. Like Solitaire, Bejeweled is a PC gaming phenomena. At one point in my life, I even thought that it was a fun game. I may have been wrong about the quality of its game play, but I know that I'm right about Bejeweled's blockbuster film potential - it doesn't exist... at all.
4. Duck Hunt. It's classic, I'll give it that. And maybe this Nintendo game, that came famously bundled with Super Mario Bros., would be perfect for a digital short ala Saturday Night Live. I'll give it that as well. But anything beyond that would completely suck.
3. Solitaire. Arguably the most popular video game in the world (because it comes pre-installed on nearly every single version of the Windows operating system), Solitaire is nothing more than a PC representation of the classic (and boring) card game of the same name. If somebody told me that Solitaire had been optioned and Zak Penn was attached to write the script, I wouldn't be surprised. With that said, I'm a dude with an open mind... but this game would make for a totally shit movie.
2. Pong. It's the original. But just because Pong launched a gaming revolution, that doesn't mean it should attempt to launch a film revolution as well. The game consists of two paddles, either player or computer controlled, slapping a ball back and forth. It's simple. And it's great just the way it is. No movie adaptations, please.
1. Tetris. I'm sure that someone out there has attempted to make Tetris into a narrative film. I bet there are even spec scripts laying around somewhere in a Hollywood studio basement. And, not to be too harsh, but that's exactly where those Tetris: The Movie scripts belong: buried somewhere deep below the Earth, never to emerge and influence a weak-minded film producer into following their lead.
More: The Top 9 Playable Marvel Characters in Capcom Fighting Games
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
The saga continues! Ross Campbell and Nick Marino develop their answer to the World Superhero Registry: Nik Neptune, real-life supervillain. Actually, it's more like Nick forces Ross to help him. Meanwhile, Ross talks about some of the details behind Wet Moon 5. Nick tries to squeeze as much info out of him as he can, but Ross refuses to give up any plot spoilers. For all the comic artists out there, Ross does give up a lot about the nuts and bolts of how the art of Wet Moon 5 came together. Then Ross makes tea and eats some dried apricots. Seriously. (We promise next week will be more exciting.)
Ross Campbell, in the heat of some serious sinus pressure, talks to Nick Marino about Google Voice, swine flu and allergies, weird mutant powers, Dazzler, different versions of the Darkstalkers fighting game, Guilty Gear XX, Xbox games, odd ways to get your NES games to work, a third party NES system, PowerJoy and Pandamar, Domain Renewal Group scams, killing trees, and supervillains.
Make sure to be back here tomorrow for the debut episode of A Podcast with Ross and Nick!!! A direct continuation of this episode, A Podcast with Ross and Nick #1 features tons of fun as the guys take a look at the Wold Superhero Registry and get some evil inspiration.
9. Can I read New Avengers again already!?! I'm sick of this Secret Invasion flashback shit. Bendis, I am thoroughly impressed by your ability to tell a nearly seamless crossover event. But I want my NA's back. You know, the ones that kicked a lot of ass and had great adventures IN THE PRESENT... not in some sort of retcon past.
8. Is Gleaming the Cube ever going to get a new DVD release? The world's greatest skateboarding action-drama has been languishing in near obscurity for almost 10 years thanks to stupid movie companies and their DVD publishing. Gleaming the Cube should be in discount bins at Walmart, not out-of-print!
7. When did wholesome become a codeword for underage slut? Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, the Cheetah Girls, and the list goes on and on. WTF???!!! I don't want to see sexualized high school girls! I want to see full grown sexy women! Who the hell is behind the marketing of these young girls because they should be ashamed (and slapped).
6. Where can I get a quality copy of Darkstalkers for the PS1? I looked on Amazon and I found a copy for a decent price but it was still a pretty high price. This leads me to my next question, which is...
5. Which version of Darkstalkers should I get for the PS1??? Ross has the third one and he likes it. But I'm kind of a snob about this stuff -- I don't need all the characters, I just need the best playability. Case in point: I'll take Capcom's Marvel Super Heroes over Marvel vs. Capcom 2 any day. Same with Street Fighter II Turbo over Street Fighter Alpha 3. But before I can even buy one of these damn Darkstalkers games, I need to know...
4. What's a good website for buying old school video games? I love to play NES and PS1 games, but I have to search all around when I want to buy one. I need a good website for getting any used game I want.
3. Does anyone know a GOOD social networking profile aggregator that will let me view information from multiple MySpace profiles simultaneously? I've tried like 10 of these damn aggregators in the past few days and they all pretty much suck. Power.com would be perfect except it only allows for one MySpace account.
2. Who is going to be the next Black Panther? From the looks of it, it can't be Storm (hint: BP has brown eyes on the cover of February's first issue). So is it going to be T'Challa's sister, Shuri, or what?!
1. What the fuck is a "meme"!?! Ross tried to explain it to me, but I still don't get it. So it's something that people pass around online? Could that be more fucking ambiguous?!!! I need a quality definition and Wikipedia just isn't cutting it.
Next: The Top 9 Botanists of the 18th Century!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
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