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Julietta Venegas Reminds Me of a Richer Time

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on December 3, 2008

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Let me take you back a few months - 24 to be exact. Back to a time when the Tequila flowed down my gullet and coming in to work on Saturday was de rigeur. My five months in Monterrey, Mexico were the most gluttonous period in my life. I boozed, ate out, and ran wild pretty much every night with no regard for personal safety or well... anything. I lived richly since I was on the company dime for everything but food - and all I ate were tacos and Pollo Loco. It was also a period of time in which I was forced to discover new media and could not rely on such steady standbys such as MTV, VH1, Fox, or even streaming video sites! The cable at my abode was pretty crappy by any standards (except for UK hotel cable, talk about shitty!).

So, I branched out. I listened to the radio in the beat up company Jetta we drove to work. I spent time watching the D99FM music video channel. I've already told you about Belanova and how much I dig their track Rosa Pastel and Calle 13 / Nelly Furtado's cloyingly sweet yet saucy No Hay Igual. I discovered how much people in Monterrey love the Strokes and Robbie William's Rudebox. I also discovered Julieta Venegas.

Venegas' new album Limón y Sal was burning up the charts when I arrived. She doesn't really fall into the CFV category, as she is more pop than that. But her music is listenable, she makes a watchable music video - the eponymous lead single had one of those early 90s / REM style videos, and it kept me afloat in a sea of Shakira.

Venegas recently, (as in, 6 months ago) recorded an Unplugged session for MTVTr3s and I think it is worth a listen. The first clip is the lead single Limón y Sal and the even more catchy Eres Para Mi. This isn't mindblowing the way that Shakira's Unplugged performance was mindblowing (seriously, it was probably the best thing she ever did) - but neither is it 'world music' a la Toto. Just watch:

San Pedro Garza Garcia - the neighborhood I lived in was full of rich things: expensive cars, expensive houses, expensive restaurants, expensive shopping, expensive nightclubs (that threw me out once), expensive stripclubs (that I never went to), expensive bars that served you drinks by the liter, hookah lounges, etc. It is the richest municipality in Mexico -- if not all of Latin America, and I'll always assosciate Venegas (and unfortunately Robbie Williams) with those images and months. So today, as I sit around depressed by the economy and my shrinking bank account balances, I plan on firing up some Venegas and pretending it's still Dec 3rd 2006 and that mom just hung up on me again for telling her how sunburned I was getting at the pool.

Lil Wayne - Mrs. Officer - "I Said Lady What's Your Number, She Said 911"

Published

neal

on November 19, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

I give Lil Wayne a hard time here at the AudioShocker, I really do. I've also said that 2008 has been the year of Weezy, T-Pain, and their joint reign of vocoder terror. That said, sometimes you hear a new song on the radio by an artist you don't particularly care for and it gets you sprung. As I was driving home the other night, I caught wind of Mrs. Officer feat. Bobby Valentino (another hot/cold artist in my book) and I had to tell you all about it.

The Track: Tell me you don't like Valentino's weeohweeohweeohwee cop call chorus thing. I love it -- almost as much as I love Weezy for NOT using a vocoder on this. That is huge for me. Maybe the vocoder is done for 2008? The beat is laid back and I'm actually pretty surprised this was not released as a summer jam, would have been big.

And the rhymes!! I can't hate - Weezy keeps it hot.

She know I'm raw, she know I'm from the streets // And all she want me to do is fuck the police

And after we got done, I said lady what's your number she said 911

Breakfast in bed turn into breakfast and head (this verse isn't in the video)

The obligatory negatory: Wayne has taken up an affectation that I am dubbing 'The Dorian Self-Laugh'; it was first brought to light by Dr. Cox on Scrubs. Zack Braff's J.D. did this stupid self laugh whenever he made a joke and no one else thought it was funny. Well, Weezy has been doing the same thing recently - after every. single. line. Other examples? Check T-Pain's Can't Believe It and Mike Jone's Cuddy Buddy. It's like the new delay double and I find it similarly bothersome. Hopefully, Mr. Carter will grow out of it quickly. However, given his repertoire of vocoder hits this year, it may be a while.

The Video: Hot cops may be cliche, but they make for an entertaining video. I mean who hasn't wanted to get it on with a Hot Cop? Ladies and Lads alike. It's the basis for an entire genre of porn. Frisking hot perps? I want to do that. Mugshot modeling? I've seen it before, but I still chuckled. 3 hot cop dancers and squad cars? Yeah, I can suspend disbelief. Obviously this isn't anything groundbreaking or new, but it's easily digestible fluff that I can watch it more than once.

While somewhat unrelated, I disliked that the 2nd video Comfortable used the same video treatment/model. I am of the mind that videos self contained packages that can stand on their own. But Comfortable is easy to ignore, so it's all good.

The Bottom Line: Perhaps this is some of that 'change we can beleive in'

Alicia Keys and Jack White Show Bond Another Way To Die

Published

neal

on November 12, 2008

in Movies and Music Videos

. 2 Comments

The new bond flick comes out on November 14th (I think?). Girls around the world are amped to see Daniel Craig without his shirt on, while boys want to see dudes get got with that big ass machine gun from the previews. Die hard fans will go to see the car and the gadgets, and I'm sure someone is excited by the innuendo and one-liners. The point is, Bond movies have something for everyone - and the theme is an important part of that. Another Way to Die is the latest in the canon of Bond.

Recently, the franchise has been making some odd choices when it comes to themes: Sheryl Crow, Madonna, Garbage, etc. Tina Turner's was the best in recent memory (despite the involvement of King Douche Bono). Still, I was a bit surprised to see two very different artists, Alicia Keys and Jack White, put together for this project.

The Track (guest track analysis by Nick): Jack White's searing electric guitar captures the signature sound of the classic James Bond theme while Alicia Keys' piano is a clever homage to Live and Let Die.

But the mastering on this song sucks. The vocals are like a lyrical dominatrix whipping the holy hell out of the backing track. It hurts to hear Jack White's whine and Alicia Key's shrill in unison. And the songwriting is a mess. Instead of being a fresh interpretation of a classic structure, Another Way to Die is erratic and discomforting.

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The Video: Does anyone else think that Jack White looks like Johnny Depp's George Jung? The video tries to be all edgy but it just coming off super crappy. It's all blue and black punctuated with spurts of white and yellow ribbon. Perhaps it will look good with the opening credits montage? Also, what is up with A Keys eye makeup? It is eight types of overdone. (Just like this video)

The Bottom Line: Fuck me slowly with a chainsaw. I hope the movie is better than this video.

MTV Puts Entire Catalog Online - YouTube says WHAA?

Published

neal

on November 5, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

When you hear about something on Acquire and Uncrate you know you are behind the times. Anyway, it looks like MTV finally pulled its head out of its ass and put their entire video catalog online. Even more exciting is that they have some developer friendly API in case you want to build some sort of webapp using their videos. I see you all creaming your AJAX / Web 2.0 jeans about it.

The obvious question is "what the hell took so long?" Really, we've had the technology to do this for at least 3 years and YouTube has been doing it foreverrrrr. Still, as if I needed another reason to not pay attention at work, I can now spend endless hours watching Queen and Tom Petty music videos. In order to properly honor this, I give you Europe's magnum opus - Final Countdown. Enjoy.

Kardinal Offishall - Numba 1 (Tide Is High)

Published

neal

on October 29, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

Kardinal Offishall has been getting a savage amount of airplay around these parts. At first I wondered how a new artist could have so many music videos out already. A quick Wiki revealed that Offishall has been around for a while and that I really don't know anything about music. Well, that's never stopped me before - so keep reading as I give you the straight dope on his new joint Numba 1 (Tide Is High).

The Track: The Kardinal hails from Canada but loves that dancehall sound. I got real burned out on dancehall back in 2003 when Beanie and Elephant Man were doing it real big. I'm more of a gentrified reggae person and Kardinal's version is easy to digest. That said, I think he may be trying a little too hard. Even as the scion of Jamaican immigrants - Ontario is hardly the Caribbean Islands. You're steez is less beleivable than Yatismahu's.

Interestingly, there are at least three versions of this song, each with a different IT girl doing the hook: Keri Hilson, Rihanna (probably the best), and Nicole Scherzinger. The video features Hilson who honestly needs the exposure.

I'm about 50% on Kardinal covering Tide Is High. Blondie did a great job with it back in the 80s, but this is a little different. It will probably grow on me - but I feel a little betrayed to see my favorite 80s hooks used this way. What's next, Walking on Sunshine?

The Video: Remember Sean Paul's Get Busy and Like Glue music videos? Kardinal is basically an even more accessible version of Sean Paul. I don't see much differentiation here. I'd even posit that Sean Paul and Beanie Man had better dancers. But, it didn't bore me.

Of note: There is a bonus snippet of Nina at the end. Despite my thing about double videos, I enjoyed its briefness and double entendre. Look out for the new Dr. Dre headphones in this video too. They are being placed in almost every new video right now. Lastly, I really really really hate Keri Hilson's haircut and the bleached bang tips. I can not handle that.

The Bottom Line: Not mindblowing, but a solid non-sucky performance.

Ne-Yo - She Got Her Own (So What?)

Published

neal

on October 22, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

Remixes are a gift and a curse. On one hand, they can introduce a track to a new audience and increase the artist's visibility astronomically. On the other hand, a remix can overexpose and detract from the quality of the original track. Of course, these days a remix is little more than a way to recycle a hook and split royalties with two other artists you barely know. In that vein, I bring you Ne-Yo's She Got Her Own (or the far stretch remix to Miss Independent)

The Track: First off, this beat blows. The high pitched baby voice thing is about 3 years too old and the slowjam tempo does not fit. Also, is Ne-Yo even on this track? He puts in maybe half a verse. Jamie Foxx's presence is an enigma. What is the point of an R&B singer featuring another R&B singer on his record? It works for rappers, (check Maino's Hi Hater Remix) but only because they have distinctive flos and styles.

Speaking of rappers, Fab must have received my note about the streets hurting for a new track. This is the second time in about two months that I have written about him and the second time he's collaboed with Ne-Yo. Sadly, the verse isn't exactly top notch pimp. It sounds like he wrote it in the taxi on the way to the studio.

And While I can't argue that having one's own money isn't important to me, you won't see me atop parapets shouting "my girl is financially independent and fiscally responsible!" I like picking up the check on a date. It drives me nuts when a girl wants to go dutch. Let me have the satisfaction of doing something positive after an entire workday of sloth and work avoidance. You can get the movie or desert afterwards if it matters that much. Also - I don't carry cash.

I mean it's great if she has her own loot- but don't let it define your relationship.

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The Video: Hey, does this sound familiar: black, white, 3 dudes, and 4 models? Thought so. I am tremendously underwhelmed by the visuals. There is so little to talk about that I'm stopping right here.

Of note: Independent women Eve and Estelle stop by for a quick cameo. I can dig it. Really, when was the last time Eve came across as anything but an independent woman? And Estelle is pretty hot right now. She was nominated for the Mercury Prize you know.

The Bottomline: Hey Ne-Yo, if she's got her own, why don't you ask her to buy you a better video?

Ludacris - What Them Girls Like? (Our Podcast!)

Published

neal

on October 15, 2008

in Music Videos

. 2 Comments

Ludacris is a great lyricist and Chris Brown is a hot commodity. So obviously putting them together gaurantees a hit. That is the theory behind Luda's new joint What Them Girls Like. I once speculated that I could tell what girls what were thinking. I was right - but unfortunately so: girls in fifth grade aren't so much into Magic: The Gathering. From this I learned the important lesson that ignorance is bliss. But enough about me, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

The Track: Luda says it best at the tail end of the track between shout outs to Chris Brown and Sean Garret: 'It's too easy'. He's right. The hand claps, knock, and syrupy flow have me sprung. The track reminds me of Nelly's E.I. mixed with Drop It Like It's Hot. I could do without Sean Garret's vocals. Oldboy should stick to producing - he's actually good at it.

Luda is big on name dropping - but it's part of his style. He owns it, just like how Agness Deyn owns that blonde pixie cut. Surprisingly, none of the punchlines are noteworthy. I didn't find myself running the track back to hear a line again. That is kind of unprecedented for Ludacris. I still like the track, but I am a little disappointed.

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The Video: Luda's videos typically involve a lot of girls. More specifically, girls dancing, looking good, and being flirtatious. It adds to the appeal of the party and Chris Brown doesn't do videos unless he can show off his moves. Seriously, show me a video where he isn't MJing around the dance floor.

I know that all sounds dangerously close to Ryan Leslie's video, but Luda uses it. Sure, the girls are hot, but that's not the point. They are a mean's to a punchline, and the joke is on them. The speech bubbles give each girl a voice, but that voice is exactly what guys want to hear. The video portrays women with the mentality of an Axe Body Spray commercial.

Two more things - At the beginning of verse two Luda drops a line about girls wanting families and security. Look closely at the supporting bubble, you have to laugh. Also, the speech bubbles should really be thought bubbles.

The Bottom Line: Kind of mediocre - I encourage Luda to spend some time on punchlines. They are a signature part of his repetoire.

The Top 9 Reasons Why Comics Don't Need to Be Saved - Part One

Published

nick marino

on October 3, 2008

in The Top 9

. 2 Comments

A bunch of comic book people are like, "OH NO! Comic books are going to die in five years because we're not kissing the general public in the ass enough! Our business plan is all wrong! Creators are mismanaging their careers! And Superman isn't accessible to five year olds anymore!!!"

You know what? Shut up. That's right. I said it. Just shut the fuck up.

Comics aren't going to "die" and they certainly don't need to be "saved." Here are the top 9 reasons why:

9. Comics are a medium of expression rooted in the most basic form of visual storytelling short of acting -- a picture and some words. How the hell can you "save" that and how could it ever "die"?

8. If you're worried about the modern comic book publishing industry dying, well then that's a whole other thing. But I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon when you have some of the world's most lucrative licensed characters coming out of a long legacy of comic book publishing.

7. While superheroes are bound to fall out of favor in Hollywood in a couple of years, actual interest in physical comics is going up. Trust me, I know. People used to ask me if the movies were anything like the stories. Now they ask me where they can go to buy the comics. Hell, even MTV and the LA Times now have blogs that address comic book news on a daily basis. That's only going to boost interest.

6. This shit is cyclical. Sales of comics will dip and they will rise. They will do that, over and over, until the day humans no longer view printed media and digital projection screens connected to their information boxes.

At some point in the recent past this column became a two-parter thing. Totally defeats the purpose of a having top 9, right? Well that's just the kind of mindfuck arseholeness I'm all about so deal with it!!! The final five reasons why comics don't need to be saved will be here in only seven short days, and I promise they are way more offensive and interesting these these first four reasons.

Next: The Top 9 Reasons Why Comics Don't Need to Be Saved - Part Two!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Cassie - Official Girl Is Officially Wack

Published

neal

on August 28, 2008

in Music Videos

. 9 Comments

Now that the GMAT is over, I finally have time to rant about analyze music videos again. It takes a lot of time to properly put a video in its place, believe me. Today I'll discuss Cassie's new joint Official Girl, featuring Lil Wayne, which premiered last week on FNMTV. As you may know, Cassie is a model who got a record deal with Bad Boy after catching the eye of producer Ryan Leslie, or something like that. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details. Anyway, after a year or so hiatus she's back on the block. I'll address both the track and the video.

The Track: The beat is courtesy of Danja and smacks of his mentor Timbaland - that is definitely a good thing. The song is basically Cassie saying 'i don't want to be a jumpoff, I want to be your girl for reals,' but it's insincere and pushy. If she's so tired, why doesn't she just leave? Even Keri Hilson (who belongs to the production team that wrote the song) knows the energy isn't worth it.

It is by 'label magic' alone that the super busy Lil Wayne found time to record a verse. It's not like he even needs the cash right now. (This has seriously been the year of Weezy F Baby) Sadly, if there was any chance of this song being salvageable, the vocoder towards the end crushes it like a boulder.

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The Video: After about 20 seconds you will inevitably make the Aaliyah connection. I mean come on,The bikini top with the hair and the jacket and the black pants, who are you trying to fool Cassie? This isn't an homage - it's cheap imitation. The director, Chris Robinson has actually worked with Aaliyah before, so I'm a little surprised. Additionally, Cassie says in an interview "I've never seen myself dance like this before." What I infer from this is that you really stepped up your dancing game.

But I call bullshit. I've seen your other videos, so I have a good baseline. Dancing wise, the video doesn't bring anything new to the table. It's the same old moves from the same old Aaliyah videos of yore. If this is a 'new level' for you, I'm surprised Diddy didn't bounce your ass like he did half the girls from Making The Band 3! Lastly, the white bikini. Totally gratuitous! It comes out of nowhere and has no relevance to the rest of the video. You aren't near a pool, the beach, or even outside.

The Bottomline: Hear me out Cassie. You are a beautiful girl - but if you want to stay in the game, you need to learn to sing, act, or at least dance. They call you a 'triple threat' in Step Up 2 - but where is the supporting evidence?

FNMTV - Ne-Yo, Pink, Cassie, John Legend

Published

neal

on August 24, 2008

in Music Videos

. 0 Comments

Sorry if I throw a million posts your way this week. I feel like I have to blog my ass off now since I'll be on the road starting Thursday. I caught today's ep of FNMTV during the afternoon and well, I think it speaks for itself. No wait, I take that back. I'll speak for it:

Ne-Yo - Closer (Live)
Whenever I see Ne-Yo I can't help but think he looks like a less popular version of Chris Brown mixed with Djimon Hounsou. He does use a real band though and that's kind of cool. Dancers' outfits suck though.

Pink - So What
Homegirl is really in her element here. Pretty impressive that Hart agreed to do the video. I generally don't dig Pink - and probably will continue not too - but this video is alright. Great song to get drunk too. In fact, I think I might just go do that right now.

Cassie - Official Girl
Wow. So much to say, check out this week's full fledged review.

John Legend - Green Light ft. Andre 3000
The beat is wack, the hook sucks, and Andre 3000 employs stream of consciousness rather than structured verse - but god damn would I like to be at that party. It looks like a lot of fun. Especially if it's not your house.

Ne-Yo - Miss Independent (Live)
Ne-Yo's gimmick for this album is wearing suits. He also plays off the emerging trend of 'independent women' in hiphop. Apparently ballers no longer want to get with guap gulping groupies. Besides the obvious advantages of her picking up the check once in a while, a girl that gets her own cash might support you if your abum flops.

The Bottom Line: Pink obviously takes the gold this week - but I think I'll give John Legend the silver for a decent party scene.