Tag Archive for ‘maroon 5’ at AudioShocker

It’s another installment of FNMTV, 5 super quick music video reviews from the master of vitriol (me). This week’s videos were ‘easy listening’ for the most part. Don’t believe me? Check them out for yourself.

Jonas Brothers - Burnin Up (Live)
OMFG it’s Hanson! No wait, it’s a non-girl-looking version of Hanson that wishes it was Maroon 5. As usual, this live performance is kind of half-assed. Watch the real video instead. It’s stupid, but Danny Trejo is in it for like 3 seconds. That dude is awesome.

Nelly - Body On Me
Uhm… Did Nelly and Ashanti get back together? Am I that out of the loop? Didn’t he crush her and she was doing late night drivebys or something? Either way, this is a pretty low impact video. Akon’s voice is nearly tolerable for once too. Nothing special or even that flashy here. Surprising considering the whole thing takes place in a casino.

Shwayze - Corona and Lime
I won’t comment on how ridiculous Shwayze is as a concept. You can read the artist bio yourself. The video is funny enough though. It’s a little California Girls and a little Weird Al. That said, these have to be the whitest and least freaky deaky ‘video-hos’ ever. You could take this video home to mama or show it to your 8 year old.

Slipknot - Psycho Social
All I know about Slipknot is that they have a lot of drummers and they like masks. Both were present and I think I saw a tympany too. There is some stuff on fire - giant paper mache heads I believe. Who writes the treatments for these videos? If I were a record label exec I would be thinking, “My toddler’s nightmares are more creative than this.”

Lesley Roy - I’m Gone, I’m Going
Only two words to describe this: CHUBRIL LAVIGNE.

Quick - What’s better than 5 music video reviews in under 5 minutes? Nothing! Without further adieu, I present another installment of FNMTV quickies. MTV sets ‘em up and I knock ‘em down.

Rihanna - Take a Bow (Live)
I can handle the song and the lackluster performance, but the haircut is maddening. She looks like Halle Berry from the early 90s - and that’s not meant as a compliment.

T.I. - No Matter What
This whole thing seems really out of place. T.I. is at the top of his game right now - so why is he doing with a track that belongs on a comeback CD? T.I. needs to be doing more Big Things Poppin and less stuff like this. The track and video are boring and about 10 years too early.

No Age - Eraser
The first 2/3rds of the song is an extended intro instrumental without any depth. The remaining 1/3rd is incomprehensible and visually obscured by a fog machine, lights, and transitions. A huge whooshing waste of production dollars.

Day 26 - Since You’ve Been Gone
Jagged Edge and Blackstreet weren’t what I would call originals in the realm of R&B, but they had their own sound. This song smells way too much like them though. Diddy, you need to get right and figure out what you want to do with BadBoy. Also, graphic T’s are so over - is HipHop really just waking up to them?

Maroon 5 - If I Never See Your Face Again (Live)
The best thing that Adam Levine ever did was the I Ran SNL video with Andy Samberg, while Rihanna’s last decent video was Shut Up And Drive. I really miss the razor sharp bob she had going before. This performance is 8 types of crap. And Levine should chop ‘em off already - it’d be a lot easier than the falsetto.