The Kids in the Hall vs. Kidz in the Hall, corduroy wales vs. Wale, Nicki Minaj, Justin Bieber, catch phrases vs. tagging, found art, Gentlemen Broncos, Ponyo, Hoboken = hobo + fist, bebe ads remind Neal of Amy Winehouse, Lily Scott's eyeshadow, The Hebrew Hammer, Tim Allen in Big Trouble, and Who Is Cletis Tout?
Tag Archive for 'Ludacris'
I apologize for the totally lame absence of a column last week. I was in New Haven and had a lot going on. In fact, I am still getting caught up. So, rather than tackling a single topic, I'm shotgunning the past week for you. Try to keep up. (And, yes I'm throwing spoilers in)
Chuck Season Finale
From the moment Chuck threw the first kick, Kirsten called it, 'Guys, I know Kung-Fu'. Cue her cheering and me groaning. It was a great ep - but if NBC axes the show, I won't cry too much. This is as natural an endpoint as any. We all knew Chuck would re-up with the Intersect, but who knew his dad was one too? Bringing Chuck's dad back as a recurring character and killing off Bryce is way too shark jumpy for me. Compound that with Devon knowing about Chuck's secret identity and things get sticky. Plus now Chuck is some sort of super autodidact? Too Matrixy. My opinion: lock all this shit down in S3E1 or just end the show now and leave people salivating.
Did you miss the ep? watch it here courtesy of Hulu:
The Cool Kids - Gone Fishing Mixtape
(Ed. Note: Neal selected The Cool Kids' Bake Sale as 2008 You Don't Suck Awards Music Winner)
The mixtape dropped on Monday. This is just the quiet before the storm (When Fish Ride Bicycles). You have to love how artists are using the lead up to their studio albums to drop free mixtapes full of even more great tracks. Peep Champions for a great piano beat and the updated Pennies remix for guest verses by Luda and Bun B. The tape is a little overstuffed considering the typical Cool Kids release is between six and eleven tracks. Of course, single artist 'mixtapes' regularly weigh in over 30 tracks, so whatever. Also take a listen to Hammer Bros. and Broadcasting Live.
House - S5E23 - Under My Skin
Great episode. The patient's skin sloughs off, House detoxes, and though I'll miss halluci-Amber... DO IT TO IT HOUSE! HIT THAT! Um, anyway, moving on....
Eminem - 3 A.M Music Video
Cold Garbage. I can't even watch the whole thing. The flow is terrible and the visuals are as trite as it gets. I'm not feeling any of the cuts I have heard from Relapse so far. I hope he's saving the best for later.
Swine Flu
What's the quickest way to get the pig flu? Twitter! Get it? It's a joke. (though not a very timely one) Anyway, this is about as much H1N1 as any blog post should have, so I'm done with that, and this blog post. BOOYAH!
I don't exactly follow the fast paced hiphop sector of the blogosphere, but I do consider myself an informed hiphop head. I also listen to a lot of Top 40 in my car. So, after being bombarded with The Dream's Rockin' That Thang for the last month, I was open to the idea of a remix. Really, anything had to be better than the original.
The Track: While I always dug the beat, the Dream's crappy falsetto is just earthshatteringly annoying. I am so glad he reached out and brought in some of the game's best lyricists. Juelz, Luda, and Fab are masters of the punchline -- and getting all three of them on the same track is major. They really redeemed this otherwise wasted beat.
Fab spends half his verse referring to JayZ and Crime Mob before he pulls out something funny:
Let me drop a jewel on ya, put a rock in ear
Can I call you nana? cause you got that rockin' chair
Luda's verse is heavy on 'lovey dovy' crap instead of double entendre punchlines, but he makes an attempt:
The thought is sensational, it's perfect bliss
I'm ready to take the milky way to your hershey's kiss
You know my tongue's got batteries in it
The bedroom, we lose calories in it & start families in it
Ricky Ross' verse is short and terrible. It is all forced gov/president references, and they all fall flat.
But Juelz Santana cold shuts it down:
Call me Mr. Shoe- shine, baby I'm a polish ya
And I leave ya spit clean, I don't use no polisher
So get another shot of ciroc in ya
Cause I'm gon' be rockin' ya
Treat you like my first lady
I'll put my Barack in ya
The Video: What we have here is a hot tranny mess of style jockin'. This video is a less creative version of Kanye's Golddigger -- which of course involves the whole "couple guys and some models" treatment. The difference is it's the guys who are on the magazine covers, and not pinup girls. And whose idea was it to outfit Fab AND Juelz in LouisV gear? That is way too much product placement! Oh, and is it just me or does The Dream looks exactly like Chris Breezy from the Freeze video?
And you know what? 'Rockin that thang' amounts to 2-stepping for pretty girls. Even Crime Mob threw in some poppin' and dippin'. This is about as involved as the dancing in a Shwayze video. Is it just me, or is club-style hiphop dancing getting really lazy? I mean Lean With It Rock With It, The Stanky Leg, The Arab Money Dance... I think I might be onto something.
Finally, a general query for all of you out there in the blogosphere: is there a website/repository that lists video girls and what videos they have been in? I'm thinking of something like iMDB for music videos. It would give me another dimension for these posts.
The Bottom Line: I suppose that sometimes, guest spots can polish up a turd.
Oh sorry - were you expecting a long drawn out music video review? Here is the thing. I am so unimpressed with the recent crop of videos that I just cannot bring myself to dedicate more than a sentence or two to each of them. Please enjoy these (hopefully) rare Music Video Quickies. As you may remember, I did this last summer when FNMTV was still on.
T.I.'s Dead and Gone blows. I know this is TIP's second collaboration with Justin Timberlake, but its soooooo boring. TLC (big up to Left Eye!) and Bone Thugs and Harmony did such 'cautionary tales' way better with Waterfalls and Crossroads.
Ludacris' Nasty Girl suffers from a Plies infestation, overuse of an old line from an old Usher track, and a thoroughly unimaginative video. Let's not even discuss the total lack of bass. I mean, what the hell Luda - a LACK OF BASS? You know better than to pull that horseshit. And Plies - the iced out 'goon' ski mask - are you fucking serious? I lack words...
Asher Roth's I Love College describes maybe one of my college party experiences. Most of the parties I went too were in someone's crappy basement with no girls. And after junior year, all the kids on Beeler magically stopped having house parties. It made no sense. I get that adolescent partying is an easy genre to exploit - but the whole thing seems about 6 years too late: American Pie came out in 1999 and Old School was 2003, you know what I mean?
Chester French's She Loves Everybody deserves a positive nod - but it is overly cutesy at the same time. Also, I am done with The Neptunes. I thought the girl was AudioShocker favorite Elisha Cuthbert for the first two spins until I looked closer. Still, personal prejudices aside, this video is the most original of the bunch.
Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You oscillates between performance shots and Kelly throwing stuff out a window. To be sure, nutty chicks like this are not my style. You don't fuck crazy. That is some sage advice for all of you out there. Anyway, if you want to see a guy get hassled by his psycho girlfriend - this is the video for you.
And I'm spent. Was it good for you too?
The Wrestler and The Foot Fist Way were watched by Neal. Nick and Neal disagree about the quality of News Radio but they do agree that French Stewart is lame, Ludacris is best as a guest, and Big Stan finally comes out in March. Neal is scared of yellow food but he still manages to review new music by Ciara, Fleet Foxes, and Jamie Foxx. Nick and Neal argue about female rappers and their business decisions. Nick saw Frightened Rabbit play live in Philadelphia. Neal read Dark Horse Presents and Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse. And, oh yeah, Final Crisis #6 SPOILERS!!!
Quantum of Solace would be better on valium, James Bond seriously needs some gadgets, the Bond girls are boring, All I Want is pathetic but it has typewriters, even T-Pain's top hat can't ruin the Ludacris video "One More Drink," the new Star Trek trailer makes Neal excited, and he wraps up his half with a review of a WSJ review of Slumdog Millionaire.
Then Nick takes over to discuss Uncanny X-Men #165-#175, the "From the Ashes" run by Chris Claremont and Paul Smith. Nick dissects their work, identifying the artistic nuances that make Smith's pencils so incredible while noting how Claremont introduced so many classic X-Men elements in such a short space of time.
Ludacris is a great lyricist and Chris Brown is a hot commodity. So obviously putting them together gaurantees a hit. That is the theory behind Luda's new joint What Them Girls Like. I once speculated that I could tell what girls what were thinking. I was right - but unfortunately so: girls in fifth grade aren't so much into Magic: The Gathering. From this I learned the important lesson that ignorance is bliss. But enough about me, let's get down to the nitty gritty.
The Track: Luda says it best at the tail end of the track between shout outs to Chris Brown and Sean Garret: 'It's too easy'. He's right. The hand claps, knock, and syrupy flow have me sprung. The track reminds me of Nelly's E.I. mixed with Drop It Like It's Hot. I could do without Sean Garret's vocals. Oldboy should stick to producing - he's actually good at it.
Luda is big on name dropping - but it's part of his style. He owns it, just like how Agness Deyn owns that blonde pixie cut. Surprisingly, none of the punchlines are noteworthy. I didn't find myself running the track back to hear a line again. That is kind of unprecedented for Ludacris. I still like the track, but I am a little disappointed.
Get the Flash Player to see this player.
The Video: Luda's videos typically involve a lot of girls. More specifically, girls dancing, looking good, and being flirtatious. It adds to the appeal of the party and Chris Brown doesn't do videos unless he can show off his moves. Seriously, show me a video where he isn't MJing around the dance floor.
I know that all sounds dangerously close to Ryan Leslie's video, but Luda uses it. Sure, the girls are hot, but that's not the point. They are a mean's to a punchline, and the joke is on them. The speech bubbles give each girl a voice, but that voice is exactly what guys want to hear. The video portrays women with the mentality of an Axe Body Spray commercial.
Two more things - At the beginning of verse two Luda drops a line about girls wanting families and security. Look closely at the supporting bubble, you have to laugh. Also, the speech bubbles should really be thought bubbles.
The Bottom Line: Kind of mediocre - I encourage Luda to spend some time on punchlines. They are a signature part of his repetoire.
Recent Comments