NOTE: Please see last week’s The Top 9 Superheroes I DON’T Want to Hang Out With.
9. Thunderball. You know, from the Wrecking Crew. He’s got that awesome wrecking ball on a chain that he swings around. We’d go to a condemned building and swing that damned ball around until the whole place comes crashing down. Around the time that he decides to go rob a bank, I’ll just say I’m tired and head home.
8. Deathstroke. I would convince Slade Wilson that we should go to an underground fighting tournament and have some fun. We’ll do the Munson and McCracken routine from Kingpin, and pretend we’re inexperienced betters. Then I’d sit back and watch Deathstroke take out every single chump one-by-one.
7. Catwoman. Sexy and spontaneous, we’d definitely do something fun. She’s more of a trickster baddie than a malicious villain, so I wouldn’t have to worry about risking my life too much during one night out with Selina Kyle. It would just get boring to hear her talk over and over about how great Batman is.
6. Dr. Doom. Okay, he’s a bit nuts. But he can travel through time, he’s a scientific genius, and he certainly doesn’t lack entertainment value. The only way a hang out session with Victor Von Doom could go downhill would be if he tried to make me his servant or something like that.
5. Riddler. Our conversations would be utterly confusing but his constant need to tell me interesting puns and mystery stories could actually end up being really enjoyable. I mean, one night of Edward Nigma would be enough. But I think it would be worth it for a single hang out session.
4. Batroc. C’mon, you know that I would hang with Georges for one night and one night only for this simple reason – parkour. I would meet up with Batroc in a city that has a lot of low roofs and I would watch him do crazy stunts all night… preferably, somewhere with a lot of poured concrete architecture.
3. Mystique. I would work real hard to stay on Mystique’s good side all night because when I go home with her later, I can have sex with anyone I want! It just takes Raven Darkholme one simple thought and BAM! I can choose from Kerry Washington or Lucy Liu (or why not both!?!). Excellent.
2. Namor. Yeah, the guy is a bit unstable. But the Sub-Mariner has an entire underwater kingdom at his command, and I would want to spend at least one hang out session traveling the ocean depths with him. I would ask to visit all sorts of incredible scenic underwater locations that air breathers have never seen before.
1. Galactus. Okay, first off, I would not want to hang with him on a “hungry” night. Well, I guess he’s always hungry… but you catch my drift. Galactus and I would chill shortly after he’s eaten. Thus he would be in a jovial mood, and I would ask the oldest being in the universe all sorts of fascinating questions about the cosmos.
Previous: The Top 9 Superheroes I DON’T Want to Hang Out With!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
Recent Comments