Tag Archive for 'Hank Pym'

The Top 9 New Marvel Films Starring Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury

Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury

Jackson as Nick Fury

Superhero movie fans breathed a collective sigh of relief this week as Marvel Studios announced that Samuel L Jackson will be back to play Colonel Nicholas Joseph Fury… back, that is, for NINE more fucking films!!!

While is certainly feels good to know that Sam isn’t feuding with Marvel anymore, our collective thoughts now turn to bigger questions: for example, if the Formula 51 actor (no, not Formula 50, you asshats… but I bet Curtis was thinking of Formula 51 when he named his Vitamin Water… it tastes like Flintstones Vitamins, BTW…) takes Marvel Studios up on its full contractual option, which Marvel Comics will get turned into blockbuster flicks for Sam’s next nine movies?

“HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS!” because here comes The Top 9 New Marvel Films Starring Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury:

9. Ant-Man. This movie has been announced, so I figure it’s going to get made eventually. Sam should have a cameo in this one if only to stop by and call Hank Pym a “MUTHERFUCKER!” for slapping Janet around.

8. Thor. Again, this movie sure looks like it’s going to get made (by Kenneth Branagh, nonetheless). It’s the perfect opportunity to hear Sammy shout, “Hold onto your Asgardian butt, Odinson!”

7. Captain America: The First Avenger. Stupid title, but it’s getting made. It’ll all be worth it, however, when Sam gets to yell, “Yes these Nazis deserve to die, and I hope they BURN IN HELL!”

6. Iron Man 2. This movie should pick up where the last one left off, with Robert Downey Jr saying, “What? Join your Avenger Initiative!?! You just broke into my house!!! Fuck off, Fury!”

5. The Avengers. Again, already announced. I hope Marvel Studios picks up on the plot hints from the Ultimates 2 storyline and delivers a scene where Bruce Banner walks in on Nick Fury as he fucks the shit out of Betty Ross. “HULK SMASH SEXY EYEPATCH MAN!”

4. S.H.I.E.L.D. Recent press coverage features mention of a potential S.H.I.E.L.D. film. Go for it, Marvel! Just give me tons of Samuel L Jackson LMDs running around shouting, “Fuck you, MUTHERFUCKERs! I’m the real Nick Fury!!!”

3. Secret Warriors. Now the fun begins as I make shit up out of thin air. My first choice? A hilarious Secret Warriors laugh fest starring Samuel L Jackson. Nick Fury has just recruited the next generation of superheroes… but these kids just want to throw keggers and party all day!!! Watch as Colonel Fury tries to control these wild young recruits and turn them into the heroes of tomorrow! Co-starring Jonah Hill as The Druid, Shia Leboeuf as Hellfire, and Elisha Cuthbert as Quake.

2. Nick Fury 2: Identity Crisis. What about the first Nick Fury movie, you ask? It’s already been made! Yeah, it sucked… but we have to honor past continuity. The only reasonable solution is to make a movie starring BOTH Samuel L Jackson and David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury(s) from alternate dimensions. The plot will revolve around their Wile E Coyote antics to destroy each other to claim the title of Ultimate Nick Fury.

1. Fury Vs. 007. You know you want it! Fiction’s two biggest super spies duke it out with crazy gadgets and souped up sports cars. In the tradition of the mighty Marvel team-up, these two will realize they’re on the same side halfway thru the movie and then go fight a common enemy: Jason Bourne, the hotshot wannabe super spy who’s really just an emo amnesiac. Then, after they kick the shit out of Bourne, Nick Fury and James Bond will go tag team Betty Ross and make Bruce Banner cry again. “HULK SMASH THREESOME!”

More: The Top 9 Best Live-Action Superhero Movies!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

AudioShocker Podcast #65 – Cowboys and Lesbians

My Bloody Valentine in 3D was fun for Nick, Neal thinks Elizabeth Banks was miscast in The Uninvited, both Neal and Nick think The Last Airbender movie has been miscast too, arguing about Colin Hanks leads to arguing about Jack Black, Nick liked Sean William Scott in Balls Out but disliked Beyonce on I Am… Sasha Fierce, Neal enjoyed Tremors while Nick enjoyed X-Men: Legacy #220 (he also read Mighty Avengers #21 and War Machine #2), and Neal is almost done watching Hatuna Meuheret (Late Marriage).

 
 AudioShocker #65 [48:47m]: Play Now | Download

AudioShocker Podcast #62 – No More Teabags

Neal wants to see Black Snake Moan because he loves Christina Ricci, Teen Wolf is surprisingly subversive, The Spirit is filmed in Millervision, Peyton Reed and Craig Alpert make Yes Man a great movie, Neal thinks “Just Like Me” by Jamie Foxx and T.I. is just okay, War Machine #1 by Greg Pak and Leonardo Manco stars a different Rhodey than Nick is used to, and Neal wants to know if superheroes movies pull more from old comics or new comics.

 
 AudioShocker #62 [40:47m]: Play Now | Download

AudioShocker Podcast #61 – Full Frontal Macy

National Treasure 2 is ironic, the script selection of Jet Li and Jean-Claude Van Damme, SportsCenter gets meta, the great Eddie Murphy debate, Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. the Hulk, Danny DeVito makes almost everything better, the creators of South Park are just Libertarian Hollywood punks, motivational skeet, Walt Whitman is not like Emerson and Thoreau, and Hank Pym is going all Wasp on us as Kirsten and Pete join up with Nick and Neal for our final podcast of 2008.

 
 AudioShocker #61 [62:09m]: Play Now | Download

AudioShocker Podcast #60 – Stick a Hundo in There

Video game documentaries The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters and Chasing Ghosts: Beyond the Arcade show two different versions of Billy Mitchell, Bigger Faster Stronger makes Neal want to take steroids, Kinamand makes Nick hungry for Chinese food, the Death Note live action films have sweet computer graphics, Neal can’t stop watching Dark Angel and Jessica Alba, Nick hates Pixar’s WALL-E, Busta Rhymes’ “Arab Money” is ignorant, Neal discovers Borders is trimming their graphic novels section, and Nick can’t stop thinking about War Machine.

 
 AudioShocker #60 [59:45m]: Play Now | Download

Next Avengers Movie Review

Awesome. Totally awesome. Go watch it.

Nuff said for right now. But as I think of anything else worth saying about the movie, I’ll edit my thoughts into this post.

EDIT 1: Next Avengers is my favorite of the Marvel direct-to-DVD animated films so far.

EDIT 2: Okay, after thinking on it a bit, the only flaw that I can find with this film is the character design and animation of the Hulk. The way the character is conceptually roped into the story works very well for me. But when the Green Goliath finally appears, he just doesn’t look right.

Hulk’s movements are too jumpy and not nearly menacing enough. His body language suggests “Tasmanian Devil” more than “strongest one there is.” Still, this is hardly an issue. The story still works great and the character fits in even if he doesn’t visually fullfil his part to the fullest.

EDIT 3: I really enjoyed the character of Azari in Next Avengers. He’s obviously the kid of T’Challa and Storm. For some reason they never say Storm explicitly, which I assume is because Marvel Studios doesn’t currently have the rights to reproduce Storm in an animated release. He’s also a tad bit underdeveloped compared to his Next Avengers teammates. Still, his straight man persona and wonderful design worked.

Speaking of the design, I found it interesting that Azari had some striking visual similarities to Nezhno a.k.a. Gentle from New X-Men. Nezhno’s vibrainum tattoos look very similar to Azari’s markings that light up with electricity. Since Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost both worked on this movie, I’m curious to know how much Azari was influenced by Nezhno. Actually, considering how long animated features are in production, it’s possible that Nezhno was actually influenced by Azari.

EDIT 4: Here’s another favorable review of Next Avengers by Ed Liu over on Toon Zone. It echos some similar sentiments that you see here (no Storm mention = probably a rights issue), but Ed also has some differing opinions as well (especially his take on Pym’s character, which I didn’t have a problem with at all!).

EDIT 5: The only element of the Next Avengers story that’s truly divergent from the Marvel Comics 616 Universe is the creation of Ultron. Yeah, Cap hooking up with Black Widow is a little far fetched, but Ultron being created by Tony Stark instead of Hank Pym is a radical departure.

Seeing as how Tony is the caretaker of the children and a focal figure in the film, having him directly responsible for Ultron makes sense in terms of this story’s emotional development. It also allows for other small flourishes such as the moment when Pym determines that Azari can break into Ultron’s fortress because the locks are the same as the maintenance hatches at their home.

EDIT 6: As I end my broadcast day here at the AudioShocker, I’d like to give a special mention to the spooky scene where the kids end up in Ultron’s “trophy room.” As they enter, we see the tattered costumes of the fallen original Avengers. It’s not long before the lights click on and reveal a seemingly endless vertical corridor of costumes, alluding to a momentous massacre of Earth’s heroes.

The creepy visual was (in my mind, whether conscious by the filmmakers or not) akin to the Return to Oz scene where we catch a glimpse of the towering room full of interchangeable heads worn by Princess Mombi. Damn, I still get chills just thinking about all those eerie heads!

ComicShocker Week 12 2008

Marvel Adventures Avengers. One of my favorite comics coming out monthly right now. This month in Marvel Adventures Avengers #22, the creators decided to tackle the concept of the Black Panther. Being the T’Challa aficionado that I am, I’m going to be hard to please. The bad news is that the Black Panther was portrayed out of step with his usual character in this issue by ignoring key traits all while depicting his piece of Africa as an antiquated and backwards nation.

First of all, we never see a glimpse of Wakanda’s technological ability. The entire core concept behind the existence of Jack Kirby and Stan Lee’s Wakanda was that the nation was a secret hotbed of technological advancement buried deep in within the heart of Africa. This was supposed to create a contrast between the notion of technological superiority and rural African location – essentially, the concept of Wakanda took a backwards 1960s stereotype and flipped it on its head.

But here in Sumerak’s Wakanda, we really only witness the backwards stereotype. There’s not a hint of T’Challa’s scientific or technological prowess. And, in my opinion, to deprive the character of this aspect of his being is to take the science and technology out of Iron Man or Hank Pym (the latter, coincidentally, was another character recently tackled by Sumerak in this series… yet he appeared with his technological cunning intact).

Enough ranting. I could go on and on. It’s this simple: Mark Sumerak dropped the ball on T’Challa’s characterization and his depiction of Wakanda. He wrote the Wakandan military force as shirtless men just barely wearing enough to cover their crotches. He made them jump around with spears. He failed to incorporate the main element of Wakandan culture that makes it most interesting and exceptional. Instead, he focused on the notion of Wakanda’s isolationist politics. The final product is a story set in a stereotyped and antiquated version of Africa not at all in step with the modern world.

To add insult to injury, did the editor proof the colors here? Everyone has blue eyes. That includes the Black Panther. I’m no comic book historian, but this could very much be a first for the King of Wakanda. Ulises Arreola, colorist on this book, needs to do a bit of homework next time. Even Wolverine, a character fairly well known among comicdom to have brown eyes, gets the blues too.

I could continue to pick this apart. Suffice to say that the Black Panther did not get the royal treatment in Marvel Adventures Avengers this month. I’m not going to stop picking the book up just because of this. The stories – on the whole – have been solid. I’m just very let down by a series I typically expect to give my hopes a good lift.