AudioShocker

When I lived alone, in Peoria of all places, I did not have cable. I survived on Netflix, Bittorrent, and during my last 2 years Hulu. It worked fairly well, but things were just inconvenient enough that following more than three or four shows concurrently was unwieldy. Then I moved to NYC and started living with four other dudes, three TV's, two DVRs, and a dynamite non-strike TV season (Glee!). Combine that with a schedule that doesn't have much slack and things get hairy.

'Rational' folks might simply say: stop watching so much TV, or catch up on the weekend, DVR everything, cut down on your shows, and the patently ridiculous - wait for the DVD. Listen folks, none of those solutions are 100% feasible, even in combination. I'm at school almost all week, literally. TV time is my time and keeps me from imploding. DVR space is limited with 4 roommates. And wait for the DVDs? Do you start buying PS3 gear when the PS5 comes out? Yeah, didn't think so.

The only real solution I see is one of tough love: divorcing shows. There are plenty of quick wins with this strategy. Heroes sucked from the get go, and letting go mid-season 2 was a breath of fresh air to my schedule. HIMYM made it easy by sucking so much after season 3. Scrubs was a no-brainer once I woke up and realized how un-endearing Sac Breath Braff really was. Alas, these are but the low hanging fruit.

Cut off one show and two more shall take its place!

Powerhouses like House has proven a bit harder to quit. I keep going back to it, and even Tim Roth's Lie to Me has shown great tenacity. But I'm done with them. I can no longer tolerate Hugh Laurie or Dr. Lightman. But, there exists a fundamental problem with this hack and slashery.

Every time you cut out a show, those wily TV execs throw two more in your way. (eh eh, see how good I am with titles) After quitting House, Parks and Recreation popped into my rotation and brought The League with it just to add insult to injury. I mean fuck, when did TV Execs wake up and start making moderately entertaining shows with just enough laugh value to engage me? Goddamn you superior formula based programming!!!!

Even when shows cut themselves off (ATHF, Sealab 2020, Home Movies), new shit springs up to replace them (The Venture Brothers, Squidbillies, Metalocalypse). And don't get me started on the half/summer season shows on HBO/Showtime or delayed starts like Chuck. Ugh.

I'm not sure how to handle this ridiculous head/show proliferation, but it's only a matter of time before my entire week is devoted to TV and I become an indoor kid again, complete with orange Cheeto fingers.

In short: FML