Tag Archive for 'Élan Luz Rivera'

AudioShocker Podcast #84 – Pittsburgh Podcast Crossover, part one

Published
by
nick marino
on June 16, 2009
in Podcast Episodes
. 5 Comments

Part one of the Pittsburgh Podcast Crossover begins NOW!!! Live from Phantom of the Attic Comics in Oakland, the AudioShocker teams up with the Comic Book Pitt and Yamagato Industries Business Report to talk about Antonio Banderas, Jesse James Is A Dead Man and his wife Sandra Bullock is a man, Elan Luz Rivera, Write Now!, transsexuals on Jerry Springer, Fraggle Rock, getting bored watching Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon, The Roots vs. Better Than Ezra, Captain America #600, the Falcon, and tons more.

The Pittsburgh Podcast Crossover listening order is:
Part 1 – AudioShocker Podcast #84
Part 2 – Comic Book Pitt Special #6
Part 3 – Yamagato Industries Business Report Annual #3 (scroll down!)

(As the subsequent parts are posted, links will be added to the listening order.)

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #84 [27:25m]: Play Now | Download

The Top 9 Ways the Economic Recession Has Affected the AudioShocker

Published
by
nick marino
on May 22, 2009
in The Top 9
. 2 Comments

It’s sad but true. Even a financial stalwart like the AudioShocker has buckled under the pressure of the economic crisis. Here are the Top 9 crazy events that have transpired due to monetary doom sweeping across all of America.

9. Ross Campbell wants us to pay him to do podcast interviews from now on. (C’mon, Ross… the damn things are already shameless fucking self-promotion!)

8. To save money on multimedia expenses, we almost changed our catchphrase to “Music. Movie. Comic. A little bit of media here and there is sort of our thing.”

7. To save even more money, we almost changed our catchphrase to “iMeem. Hulu. Zuda. Free media is DEFINITELY our thing.”

6. Gotham Chopra stopped hanging around the blog because his comic books all turned to liquid. (Get it!?! Virgin Comics = Liquid Comics! They used to be in print and now they’re just online! … Okay, fine, you win – the joke sucked.)

5. Justique has a whole lot less extra cash to spend on pornography. (She’s down to about $200 per day.)

4. Nick has even less extra cash to spend on hookers. (He’s down to about $2 per week… but DAMN that prosthetic handjob is worth every penny!)

3. Kirsten stopped commenting on Pete’s blog posts because she was too busy earning some extra money on the side working as a high-paid lesbian escort (see this incriminating photo for evidence).

2. Neal couldn’t hire the Elan Luz Rivera lookalike stripper he wanted for his birthday. (Instead, he had to settle for the Susan Sarandon lookalike GMILF from next door.)

1. We know you love the AudioShocker just the way it is, but be on the look out for our new blog name… COMING SOON: “Tampax Tampons presents the AudioShocker podcast & blog”!!! (Our new catchphrase: “We’re stuffing some music, movies, and comics all up in that shit!”)

More: The Top 9 Social Networks! (And how to choose the right one for you.)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

AudioShocker Podcast #77 – Paul Tobin. Da Stanky Legg. Lady Gaga. M.I.A.

Published
by
nick marino
on April 21, 2009
in Interviews and Podcast Episodes
. 0 Comments

Paul Tobin braves his third week in a row on the AudioShocker as he wraps up his chat with Nick about writing comics book for money. This clear-cut capitalist exchange leads to discussion on the topics of: scripting, ideas, Colleen Coover, Jack Kirby, Jeff Parker, Marvel Adventures, and tons more. Plus, Paul announces some upcoming projects and refuses to announce others! FUN!

Then we bring you your regularly scheduled program: Neal does not understand Lady Gaga so Justique tries to explain her appeal. Justique does not understand M.I.A. so Neal tries to explain her appeal. Meanwhile, Alan Arkin gets slammed for Sunshine Cleaning. Nick demands to know the etymology of the Stanky Leg (not the Stanky Legg!). Then Neal insists on talking about mixtapes that no one has ever heard about (no one, that is, according to Nick). This somehow leads to the revelation that MTV is going to start showing music videos again… too little too late, MTV!!!

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #77 [53:15m]: Play Now | Download

Killa Cam Hates His Job, Jim Jones Says Na Na Nana Na Na

Published
by
neal
on March 4, 2009
in Music Videos
. 5 Comments

So after several weeks of bellyaching about DipSet, Nick emails me the other day to put me up on Camron’s new joint I Hate My Job. I’m not even going to wait for the bottomline today: I dig it. Killa Cam re-achieves relevance with his best single since Down And Out (which was actually a guest spot). It’s about the recession, money troubles, and how much it sucks to work a dead end job. Surely we can all relate at some level.

The beat is dead simple: knock and keyboards. It could be a little heavier (this is DipSet…) but it fits the track pretty well. I wonder if we’re going to see a lot of YouTube freestyles over this one.

The video is fairly literal, and low budget – but isn’t that exactly what a economically conscious video should be? Killa doesn’t try to impress us with his acting skills either, he keeps it real. I totally buy that he doesn’t really know how to conduct himself in a job interview. I also buy the idea that no one would give him any respect in a job interview, regardless of how polite he was.

And getting a job with a few priors? Cam knows it isn’t easy.

I went in for an interview, for delivery
“Locked up, felonies?” now the dude’s quizzing me
You working on my future, why you need to know my history?
All he did was Google me, no big mystery

Like I said, it isn’t complex, but it is a good track. What IS a little more complex is the public’s infatuation with Jim Jones.

In the last couple years, Jones’ career has really taken off – but WHY? For some reason, guys like Yayo, Flav, Farnsworth Bentley, and now Jones – all former hypemen – get tons of airplay. And while I could sit here and philosophize about how I think he is aiming himself squarely at the frat demographic, instead I’ll leave you with Jones’ new video for Na Na Nana Na Na, which in addition to being the polar opposite of Cam’s, just dropped as I was writing this post. (Jeebus, a Élan Luz Rivera cameo? She is just all up in my mindspace this week!) Enjoy.

Neal Is Still Waiting For The D.E.Y To Come

Published
by
neal
on March 1, 2009
in Music Videos
. 1 Comment

I don’t know what is going on here. I still can not get my hands on The D.E.Y.’s debut LP The DEY Has Come.  I mean, I could buy the import EP – but $35-45? Seriously Amazon? So fuck, what is a guy to do? Troll YouTube and MTV.com of course!

Check out The D.E.Y.’s new video for I Need You. It’s got three short vignettes and the track is just plain feel good. Look out for Obama’s body double at 1:47! I’m digging it, and of course my thing for Élan Luz Rivera is totally unrelated. Check out Divine’s MySpace page for some preview tracks off the album.

Girls I Want To Stick It To – Élan Luz Rivera

Published
by
neal
on June 23, 2008
in GIWTSIT and Music
. 3 Comments

The D.E.Y. – you’ve heard of them right? Two bilingual rappers anchored by female vocalist and today’s subject: Élan Luz Rivera? No? How about the tracks they did with Paula DeAnda or Sean Kingston and Juelz Santana? Well, it’s not too late – their LP drops next month, so you still have time to act as if you’ve been up on them for a minute.

A quick screening test: Looks? Yes. Voice? Natch. Down with DipSet? Sweet. Broadway experience? Bonus. Élan has clearly got it going on – but that alone isn’t going to make me crack a fat. In a world of precision-manufactured pop music you need to distinguish yourself or you’re just another cute girl on Entourage.

So, what then does Élan bring to the table? The same thing a recently engaged mutual friend of Nick and mine does: her nose. More specifically, how she wrinkles it.

No joke! The way Élan wrinkles her nose when she sings, high up around the top of the bridge, is the sexiest thing ever. Watch the Sean Kingston video and you’ll see what I mean. It doesn’t even have to be a happy wrinkle! Pouty and angry wrinkles can be sexy too.

Hate your nose? In college, I took an engineering math class called Numerical Methods from a professor named Kenji Shimada. Kenji is big into computer graphics and modeling the human form. One day his lecture went tangent and he tried to explain how math and beauty are related. According to him, mathematical discontinuities make your face unique and interesting. The bridge of your nose is a particular type of discontinuity called a saddle point. Saddle points can be a pain in the ass mathematically speaking (cut to me checking for local extrema in calculus), but without them your face would be two-dimensional and easy to forget – like a kneecap. Your nose adds depth, balance, makes you recognizable, and is unique to you. Think about that the next time you curse your ski slope.

In short: Élan Luz Rivera, your nose puts you head and shoulders above the rest. And yes, I would like to stick it to you.