So, my friend Ryan is moving to England till the end of the year. It’s great for his career, but terrible for my social life. Since he flies out tomorrow, I met up with Ryan for brews and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Afterward, I flipped my phone to give the Nick the rundown. (btw, that movie is great) As usual, 160 characters or less:
Too many one-liners, even for a movie about mummies - but otherwise enjoyable. Also, Maria Bello >> Rachel Weisz.
Side note: did you know Michelle Yeoh is 46!? I think I may have found the next Cougar I Want To Stick It To. Rahr!
While Kelly Ripa may not be a girl, she is definitely a cougar/milf worth our attention. She makes Regis’ talk show bearable and looks effin’ amazing for a 38 year old mother of three. I mean jeez, whatever she’s doing - it’s working!
Kelly is basically everything I want in a sugar mama. Ladies - please take note! If you are searingly hot, loaded, good humored, and short enough to wear heels without making me look bad - you too may qualify. Her soap star past also gives me the impression that she knows how to feign interest - a quality that would really work with my ego.
Lastly, I know it’s part of her job to be up on current trends and such - but here at the AudioShocker we dig commitment to pop culture. I bet Kelly would fit right in co-hosting an episode of the AudioShocker Podcast.
In short: Kelly Ripa, I want to stick it to you.
So, I got back a couple days ago from my Memorial Day vacation in Folly Beach, SC. FB is about 25 minutes from Charleston (owing in large part to the 30mph speed limit on the island). This was my 2nd annual trip with 13 other kids from this ridiculous hamlet I am loathe to call home.
We ate Cocoa Pebbles in the morning, sat on the beach during the day, and watched the Karate Kid trilogy at night. It is worth noting that we aimed to consume a lot of YeungLing and ignore work/ cellphones. In these endeavors we were successful. I also finally understand the importance of SPF 30 and what this crazy ’sunburn’ thing is.
If you are lucky enough to have a friend with access to a large beach house I recommend you take advantage of it - right now! Book a ticket, gas up the whip, pump up your bike - do what it takes - but GO!
And with that - I give you the least incriminating photos of the trip, (thanks for the pictures Todd).
Sunrise on the beach.
The Cougar Club at The College of Charleston. Think about it.
Recent Comments