AudioShocker

Women’s volleyball is one of the sexiest team sports around - and I am not talking about the beach ‘n bikini variety.

For years, I associated volleyball with high-fiving watch-check flexing Naval Aviators and overtanned dudes in sandlots surrounded by ESPN cameras.

Nay, it wasn’t until my chi-chi education, at Choate Rosemary Hall, that I had my revelation. What changed my mind? I’ll tell you what it wasn’t: mandatory team sports participation — but that is a discussion for another day.

Everything about the female volleyball uniform exudes sex. Refer to the figure at right.

The tiny spandex shorts accentuate the gluteals and give even the stumpiest of ladies a willowy profile. Kneepads (not shown) serve double duty: adding contrast to the outfit and providing some much kneeded (har har) protection. Jerseys vary from the small and clingy (shown) to the baggy and NBA-esque. Ponytails, frenchbraids, and the occasional headband are the coiffures of choice.

If that sounds good at rest - imagine it in motion. From the first set to the last desperate bump pass, ladies volleyball is a multi-sensory experience. Powerful serves yield resonating thumps - quickly drowned out by grunts, heel screeches, and players calling out “I got it!” As the game progresses you can feel the breeze of every vengeful spike and dive. And when the final volley ends you can smell defeat, while across the net the winners huddle together jumping and cheering.

The composite effect is in a word, mesmerizing.

In summary: Volleyball Girl - I want to stick it to you. Shorts, kneepads, ponytail, and all.

Photo: Curbstonecritic