It's here!!! The award ceremony that no one's been waiting for... the 2011 YOU DON'T SUCK Awards!

Join our hosts -- Justique, Neal, and Nick -- as we pick the 2011 media that didn't suck the most. Listen to find out which nominees just didn't not suck enough to win! Thrill at the strange and confusing explanations behind our winners! And learn what media we would have picked if we'd judged different categories!

MOVIES (judged by Justique)
Captain America: The First Avenger

TV (judged by Neal)
Spy

WATCH INSTANTLY (judged by Justique)
Shin Chan

COMICS* (judged by Nick)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star

MUSIC (judged by Neal)
"Talk That Talk" by Rihanna

PODCASTS (judged by Nick)
Yamagato Industries Business Report

AND... for our prestigious 2011 YDS champions, here's the 2011 YOU DON'T SUCK Awards winners banner. Proudly display it on your websites and profiles, proclaiming "I DON'T SUCK!!!" to the world. (Click on the banner for a hi-res png that you can resize to your liking.)

*If you'd like to listen to a thoughtful and comprehensive round up of comics in 2011, check out Comic Book Pitt #82 feat. Nick!

Here are the REAL reasons Teabaggers (I can't believe they actually call themselves that!) hate Captain America and always will:

9. Captain America drinks coffee, not tea.

8. On occassion, his comic book is written by radical left-wing super-liberals.

7. He was dead for the past couple years and missed the whole Sarah Palin thing.

6. His superhero partner is (or at least WAS) a social worker. HARLEM PORK BARREL POLITICS!

5. Captain America ran for president AND he watched Nixon kill himself.

4. There's a good chance that the A on his forehead actually stands for "frAnce."

3. His on-again/off-again Federal salary is just another example of out-of-control government spending.

2. That 90s Captain America movie totally sucked.

1. His shield is a circle, the same symbol liberals, gays, and cartoon lions use to describe life.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Patriotic

U.S.Agent tussles with Iron Man, 1980s style!

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Last week, you though I was @#$%ing with you when I put up a U.S.Agent wallpaper. I was 100% legit with that - he's a secret character in Marvel vs. Street Fighter (as well as a "helper" character in MvC).

However, this week is a bit of a cheat. But not because of Iron Man's Silver Centurion armor - you can at least mimic the color scheme in Marvel Super Heroes on the PlayStation by holding the down button for five seconds while highlighting Iron Man, and then pressing a punch or kick button to select him as your fighter.

No, the cheat is actually this image, which is a depiction of Iron Man battling the Captain, not U.S.Agent. However, Steve Rogers wasn't the Captain for long, and the black and reds would soon belong to John Walker instead. You can just use your imagination to pretend he's already wearing them in this picture.

Thanks to Mark Bright, Bob Layton, and Bob Sharen for giving us this awesome art from Armor Wars' Iron Man #228. And thanks to Marvel Avalon for the image. This has been the second part of a U.S.Agent Double Shot, so be back next Monday for an unrelated Street Fighter Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

More: The Top 9 Video Games That Should Never Be Made Into Movies

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Khoi Pham delivers mighty U.S.Agent action

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I bet you're really confused right now. U.S.Agent isn't in any of the Marvel vs. Capcom games, right? WRONG! John Walker just happens to be a secret character in Marvel vs. Street Fighter. Need proof? Check out my victory pics.

To play as U.S.Agent (who is just a recolored Captain America with slightly faster moves) on the PlayStation version of MvSF, highlight M. Bison on the character select screen and hold down the select button as you push any of the punch or kick buttons (depending on which button you hit, you'll get a different costume color - I think the triangle (a.k.a. default light punch) button gives you the classic black and red suit).

Thanks to Khoi Pham, Danny Miki, and Dean White for this week's U.S.Agent image (from the cover of Mighty Avengers #22). And thanks to the now defunct MySpace Comic Books for the hi-res image. This is the first part of a U.S.Agent Double Shot, so be back next Monday for another U.S.Agent Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Captain America gets reborn by Joe Quesada

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The Marvel vs. Capcom series has a great wealth of fighters. But from the beginning, I've only had one favorite: Steve Rogers, Captain America. I've been playing as Cap at the arcade and at home for as long as I can remember. He never lets me down.

Cap is coming back. In fact, Reborn #1 hits shelves this Wednesday and that's why we're gracing you with this awesome Joe Quesada, Danny Miki, and Richard Isanove variant cover. From what I understand, this cover won't be available for a few more weeks. But here's a little taste to get you pumped for the Reborn reprint, I suppose!

Thanks to Comic Book Resources and their new Cup O' Joe feature for the image. Be back here next Monday for a brand new Iron Man Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Cap is a "the glass is half-full" type of guy.

A few things to know: Captain America is dead. Well, erm, actually, Steve Rogers is dead. He got shot a few years ago. He's almost always been Cap, but now his former WWII protege is wearing the red, white, and blues. Also, the "solicitation" copy (a.k.a. the description) of Reborn #1 will be revealed on June 16th, the day after Cap #600 hits. And there's a Captain America movie slated for the summer of 2011. So it's all interconnected and there's some secretive shit going down.

So what the fuck is really going on with Captain America? Here are my most educated and asinine guesses:

9. Captain America was raped by Doctor Light. To start some sort of 21st century Marvel Comics / DC Comics crossover, the companies have decided to show us that sexual abuse isn't just for the ladies anymore. One day, Doctor Light snuck into the Avengers Mansion and took Steve Rogers from behind when he wasn't looking. Hilarity ensues.

8. Captain America raped Doctor Light. Seems a little more shocking than the alternative, doesn't it?

7. Steve Rogers never died, he was just a Skrull the whole damn time. Since Steve's corpse received a secret burial at sea by Iron Man, Hank Pym, Namor, and the Wasp, not too many folks actually saw the body of Captain America for the last time. Wasp kicked the bucket in Secret Invasion, Tony Stark is currently erasing his entire brain while on the run from the US government, and Namor is busy ogling Emma Frost's boobies all day long. Conveniently, Hank Pym was actually a Skrull at that time (and thus will be referred to as Skank Pym from here on out). After the four of them dumped Steve's "corpse" into the Arctic Ocean, Skank Pym went down there and picked up the Steve Rogers impersonator (who was just feigning death). As Reborn #1 opens, Skank Pym and fake Steve are headed back to their Skrull spaceship where the crew is currently in the process of anally probing the real Steve Rogers just for kicks.

6. Sharon Carter is going to give birth to an elderly Steve Rogers who will de-age to be Captain America again. The title of the upcoming miniseries is reborn... so what if that title was literal? Inspired by the success of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Marvel Comics has decided to literally have Steve Rogers reemerge from the womb. How? Time travel, of course! Sharon Carter, Cap's secret agent girlfriend, thinks that she was impregnated by Steve Rogers shortly before he died. She's wrong. She was actually impregnated by an android from the future. First, the android traveled back in time to secure a sample of semen from Steve Rogers' father. Then it headed back to the future where the semen was genetically engineered to include a preexisting dosage of the Super Solider Serum. Then the android traveled to the exact point in time where Steve and Sharon were getting ready to have hot and heavy sex. The android drugged Steve and took his place. After doing the deed, the android returned home to the future. Back in our present, despite being "de-pregnated" by the Red Skull, Sharon Carter gives birth to an elderly Steve Rogers. She cares for him until Cap can get the shield swinging again. And then, in a shocking twist.. they become lovers! That's right - Sharon starts getting it on with the superhero who emerged from her own vagina as a 90-year-old man. Now that's entertainment.

5. Captain America was raped by Sharon Carter. Though not nearly as shocking as other scenarios, it provides an interesting backdrop for an exploration of female-on-male sexual abuse. The collected edition of this story will be in bookstores just in time for the Captain America movie.

4. The new Captain America is Batman. Over at DC Comics, everyone thinks Batman is dead. Actually, Bruce Wayne is just lost in reality. Reborn opens as the Caped Crusader is shifting across multiple different alternate realities, trying to find his way home. Bats ends up in the Marvel Universe, where he decides to have some fun and suit up as the Star Spangled Avenger. Image the merchandising and cross-promotion possibilities for Marvel and DC. We're talking big bucks, baby! Big bucks!!!

3. Steve Rogers was actually Barack Obama the whole time. Nothing sells comic books nowadays like a guest appearance by Barack Obama. Not to be outdone by the competition, Marvel Comics has decided to secretly make our 44th American president the Sentinel of Liberty. The reason Cap was "shot" in the first place? So Obama could have more time to run for president. Now that he's president, Obama wants to get back to kicking ass... Captain America style! Also, this would coordinate well with the rumor that Marvel Studios wants to cast Will Smith as Captain America. This way, Smith gets to play both Barack Obama AND Captain America in the same time movie.

2. Captain America raped Barack Obama. Seems eve more shocking than the other alternatives, doesn't it?

1. Captain America was actually Hitler the entire time. At some point during WWII, Hitler managed to kill Steve Rogers. But instead of bragging about it, Hitler decided to put on Cap's costume and impersonate him (sans creepy moustache, of course). Fast forward a year or so, and Adolf is tired of fighting the war. He fakes BOTH of his own deaths and goes underground. Years later, after extensive genetic modification, he reemerges as the "unfrozen" Captain America and joins the Avengers. He proceeds to pretend to be Steve Rogers for far longer than anyone could ever imagine. Sick of the endless charade, Adolf fakes his own death AGAIN and goes underground to plot his rebirth. In Reborn, Hitler reveals his master plan and shocks everyone by proving that he was Captain America the whole time. Then he rapes Barack Obama. The end.

More: The Top 9 Currently Dead Superheroes and Supervillains

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Kill him, Cap. Just put him out of his misery.

Cap is right. I saw the sex tape. It was hot.

Next week: Cap makes Spidey cry like a baby.

Can he still get his webs up at that age?

The Spectacular Spider-Jerk does it again.

Peter Puker, The Spectacular Spider-Vomit

Even though your brain is steeped in six claws and mutton chops right now, try and remember back to the Watchmen movie. It's hard, right? Believe it or not, that movie only came out two months ago (though it feels more like two years).

Around the time of the film's debut, DC Comics attempted an "After Watchmen... What's Next?" program to steer potential readers to like-minded material. I've decided that's just what Wolvie needs to coincide with his silver screen solo outing. Thusly, I present to you:

AFTER WOLVERINE... WHAT'S NEXT?

Books That Reinforce Stereotypes About the Modern Superhero

When everyone thinks about superheroes nowadays, they think about The Dark Knight, Spider-Man's evil black suit, and Superman being a deadbeat dad. (And, oh yeah, what was it called? HMMM... oh right! That Watchmen thing.)

It's true: superheroes are emo right now. "Dark" is hot. "Dead" is even hotter.

So if you like your heroes dark or dead, then you'll love these current comics:

• Batman: Battle for the Cowl. Batman's dead (sorta) and a bunch of supporting characters are fighting for the right to wear his tight blue undies.
• Captain America. Cap got killed and the shit kept rolling. He's been replaced by his once-dead teen sidekick that used to be a KGB assassin. Meanwhile, an evil scientist made Cap's girlfriend miscarry his baby.
• Dark Avengers. Marvel's premier Dark Reign title wherein the Avengers have been replaced by replica supervillains... but Johnny Q. Public doesn't know it!
• X-Force. Cyclops decides to create a black ops team of mutants who wear all black as they travel around the world and act like terrorists (or is it anti-terrorists?).

More Books With Wolverine

This one sounds deceptively easy, doesn't it? Well it's a bit trickier than it may seem. See, the Wolverine you know from the movie isn't the Wolverine who's starring in the monthly Wolverine comic book right now.

To find the Wolverine you enjoyed from the movie, you've got to look for him in:

• Wolverine: Weapon X. A brand new comic book made to (sort of) coincide with the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It's so new that I don't even know what to expect... except for six claws and mutton chops.
• New Avengers. From what I hear, Logan is still hanging around with Luke Cage and whining a lot. But I could be wrong about this.

Books That Push The Boundaries of Anti-Hero Fiction

He's a killer. He's a hero. No... he's a killer AND a hero.

If you enjoy the walking contradiction that is Wolverine, then you may also enjoy the exploits of these other famous anti-heroes:

• Lobo. I have no idea if Lobo has any comics coming out right now. He's like a cosmic Wolverine with a bad complexion and a twisted sense of humor.
• The Punisher. Already a movie star in his own right, Frank Castle straddles the line between hero and villain even more than Logan. He's got two ongoing comics on the racks right now.

Best-Selling Books From Best-Selling Authors

Riiiiiiiiiiight. We're just going to skip this one.

Books For Immature Readers

Surely, the idea of a man who backs up his irrational anger with knives that come out of his hands isn't the most mature-minded notion out there. While the "dark" trend sweeping comics right now tends to be overly emotional, some books out there still know how to have fun and not worry about it.

Here are a few current comics that delight in the more visceral elements of sequential storytelling:

• Street Fighter comics by UDON Entertainment. Street Fighter II Turbo and Street Fighter IV spend most of their time on kickass tournament fight scenes with huge SFX and bright colors that slap you in the face. Shiny pages! Big fights! AWESOME!
• Skrull Kill Krew. Evil aliens never stop trying to take over the Earth, so Riot and the Skrull Kill Krew never stop trying to kill them. Get it?

As a fitting end to this post, I should note that this upcoming Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. If you don't buy comics on the regular, why not at least stop down to your local shop and get some for free? (There's even one about Wolverine!)

Silly Spidey, brains are for tricks!

The Amazing Spider-Bigot strikes again.

I always had a feeling he was a bigot...

I won't be surprised if this list is completely obsolete in two weeks.

Honorable mention to the original Aquaman (Arthur Curry). I'm not sure what the hell is going on with him right now... EDIT: The Aquaman Shrine knows what's up thanks to this Blackest Night teaser featuring a zombie who resembles a certain famous scaly-shirted DCU hero.

9. Elongated Man (Ralph Dibny). This stretchy detective met his end at the end of DC Comics' weekly 52 comic book. But he's probably the least "dead" character on this list, considering that he's been shown (however sparingly) to be active even in the afterlife.

8. Kitty Pryde. Her "death" came at the end of Joss Whedon and John Cassaday's Astonishing X-Men run. She saved the day by permanently fusing herself to a giant bullet and phasing it through the Earth. Currently hurtling thru space, she's not technically dead... but she might as well be since there's nothing anyone can do for her.

7. Sabretooth (Victor Creed). Vic was skewered by Wolverine in (the most recent) Wolverine #55. It's kind of bad timing if you ask me - Sabretooth is going to be played on the big screen in May (or tonight, on your computer, thanks to bittorrent) by Liev Schreiber. Too bad he's nowhere to be found in the Wolverine books!

6. Shredder (Oroku Saki). Mirage Comics no longer publishes a current ongoing Turtles narrative. Rather, the Tales of the TMNT series jumps around time and delivers stories from the entire timeline of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But, as far as I know, Shredder is still dead in the "present." And he's still awesome, dead or not.

5. Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz). Marty got toasted by the Human Flame in Final Crisis #1. DC had been giving J'onn the runaround for the past few years anyway, so it was no big loss when he went up in flames. He'll definitely be back at some point because he's too awesome to stay dead for too long.

4. Jean Grey. Yep, still dead... I think. Who knows with this one? Her most recent "death" was in New X-Men #150, when Wolverine stabbed her and the Phoenix force saved her and then she was promptly murdered by Magento / Xorn / none of the above. Whatever. It's always been messy when it comes to Jean.

3. Thanos. Landing in the number three spot is Thanos. Why? Because I like him, damn it! And because this is the guy who almost completely controlled the universe but decided to bitch out at the very last minute just because he felt like it. Sweet! He was later destroyed by Drax in the original Annihilation limited series.

2. Batman (Bruce Wayne). Okay, this is kind of a cheat. In Final Crisis #6 we see Bats die, and then we see him back again at the very end of Final Crisis #7. But for all intents and purposes, Bruce is dead to the DC Universe. I mean, people are "battling" for his cowl as we speak. And that's fine by me.

1. Captain America (Steve Rogers). Steve took a bullet for his country in (the most recent) Captain America #25. His mantle is currently being filled by his long-thought-dead WWII sidekick, Bucky Barnes, who was actually in an off-again on-again cryogenic deep sleep that was suspended only when the USSR wanted their "Winter Soldier" to go ice someone. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

More: The Top 9 Superheroes I DON’T Want to Hang Out With

And more: The Top 9 Supervillains I DO Want to Hang Out With

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

I think his "Tranny Sense" is tingling.

Looking classy today, gentlemen. Very classy.

Even that can't make up for what you did to us, Halle.

This post is a response to last week's Top 9 Actors in Live-Action Superhero Films. That list was the "glass is half full" to this post's "the glass is half empty."

It's important to note that this is our first community-created Top 9 list. If you want to get in on the action for the next Top 9 post, nominate you ideas below in the comments and we'll get to it.

Honorable mention to George Clooney (Bats), Chris O'Donnell (the Boy Wonder), and Alicia Silverstone (She-Bats) from Batman & Robin. You three sucked so much that everybody knows it, thus making your appearance on this list completely unnecessary.

9. James Marsden as Cyclops. Cyke has been a lot of things in his career, but he's never been a more of a dick than when James Marsden played him on the big screen. Jimmy tried so damn hard to be a good Scott Summers, but he sucked. He sucked so much, in fact, that the filmmakers decided to kill the character off. That's some serious sucking.

8. Jim Carrey as Riddler. I think it's the skintight suit and the jazz hands that really seal the deal on this one. Carrey almost sold me at first as Edward Nigma, but the honeymoon faded fast when he slipped into supervillainy and proceeded to give me a headache as the Riddler.

7. Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut. Vinnie made a strong case for topping this list, if not for his classic "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" line. At least he gave us something to laugh at while he was stinking up the house. The entirety X-Men: The Last Stand could fill up this blog post, but let's just say that Vinnie's carrying the torch for that whole piece of shit.

6. Christian Bale as Batman. It's the voice, really. I mean, the guy isn't terrible as Bruce Wayne. But his Batman is so annoying and husky that it negates any good performance by his alter ego. Plus, he's annoyed me in two different movies as Batman. That's gotta count for something.

5. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. Damn it, Uma! You're supposed to be better than this!!! Yeah, we expected pure shit from Clooney, O'Donnell, and Silverstone in Batman & Robin... but not from you! You're the classy one. Fucking hell, Uma, even Schwarzenegger made you look bad.

4. David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury. Have you seen this made-for-TV movie? Probably not. So trust me on this one: you DON'T want to see it. Yeah, it's that bad. I promise.

3. Ben Affleck as Daredevil. Matt Murdock was blinded as a child, his father was murdered by the mob, his career was ruined by the man who also destroyed him physically, his drug addicted and deadly girlfriends have been murdered by the same man, and he's even been impersonated by another hero best known for doing roundhouse kicks in his slippers... but none of this could ever compare to the shame Daredevil felt when he was portrayed by Ben Affleck on the big screen.

2. Matt Salinger as Captain America. This one falls into the same category as Hasselhoff - you probably haven't seen it and you probably shouldn't. I saw this film as a child, and for years I had to silently work thru the emotional trauma of watching Salinger fill out Cap's threads.

1. Halle Berry as Storm AND Catwoman. An actor so nice we hate on her twice! It's not everyday that you get to royally suck as not one BUT two blockbuster superheroes. Add to it that these two characters span four different films and we've got ourselves a WORST winner! Meow!!!

More: The Top 9 New Marvel Films Starring Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Transcript :: War Machine #15-17 (Vol 1, 1995) :: A 3 Panel Review by Nick Marino :: This story is by far the most ambitious thing attempted in War Machine's solo series. Time War puts Rhodey in the thick of a WWII Nazi battle. Now back in 1941, War Machine teams up with Cap and Bucky to tussle with Axis forces. With the future at stake, WM kills a Nazi leader. Emotional ramifications plague Rhodey. Even worse, Jim lands back in the present without his suit! The War Machine armor is lost in time!!!

This Hyper Combo Wallpaper features my three favorite playable Marvel characters from Marvel vs. Capcom. Capcom switched from Iron Man to War Machine in this fighting game, and I love the change. Captain America is a perennial favorite of mine, always holding up well against the best of characters. And Gray Hulk? Well, personally, I just like him better in his Joe Fixit colors. (Gray is Hulk's secondary costume choice in MvC... select the character using your kick buttons.)

Thanks again to The Fighter's Generation for the Capcom drawings, and be back here next Monday for another Hyper Combo Wallpaper!!!

Marvel vs. Capcom Wallpaper - Download Full-Size 1440 x 900

9. Blackheart - Yeah, Ghost Rider was popular in the late 90s, but Blackheart!?! Along with Shuma-Gorath, Blackheart was a bizarre choice for a baddie. Still, his playability is awesome, with excellent long range attacks and a few really great specials.

8. Cyclops - Personally, I think Cyke is a natural for a fighting game. He's got big power and he's also a scrapper. His eyebeams make him a great long range character, while his kicks make him a strong close range fighter. The only flaw is that he doesn't have more variations in his eyebeam moves.

7. Gambit - In the Capcom series, Gambit is one of your all purpose agile characters, contrasting especially well with with Jin and Strider Hiryu in Marvel vs.Capcom. Gambit has great power moves, like when he smashes your face in with his staff or charges you up to throw you. And his specials are huge.

6. Spider-Man - Spidey is another one of your all purpose agile fighters, with even greater speed and damage hits than Gambit. I like to use Spidey when I've been beat a few times in a row by an opponent. Bringing Spidey out and landing lots of fast, close range hits is especially demoralizing to a challenger.

5. Wolverine - While Spidey does have great speed and close range attacks, Wolvie has the capability to utterly devastate another player when you're in a bind. His charging moves are especially powerful, and his speed can do irreparable damage in a short space of time.

4. Hulk - Big hits. That's what Hulk does best. Often, he accepts far more damage than smaller characters like Wolvie and Spidey, which can be frustrating. But when Hulk lands his hits, the battle is decisive and it ends fast. His specials are decent, but his regular kicks and punches have tremendous power.

3. War Machine - Rhodey is the replacement for Iron Man in the later Marvel fighting games. While they are basically the same character, War Machine has a few extra moves that make him superior. But even beyond that, his playability is fantastic, with wonderful long range projectile attacks, solid close range strikes, and tremendous specials. Plus, the SFX make a little metal noise when he gets hit. How cool is that?

2. Captain America - Okay, Cap has next to no long range attacks. He's not a well rounded character by any means. But he is by far the best close range fighter, mixing agility with strong basic moves. He's not as fast as Spidey or Wolvie, but his hits tend to land better and with greater effect. His specials are solid, and his power moves are always dependable. Plus, it's demoralizing to an opponent to lose to Cap because he doesn't have all the fancy projectiles or flashy power moves.

1. Juggernaut - An odd choice for the top of the list, but well deserving. Juggs has the hit presence of the Hulk, but with greater speed and agility. His blocks are far more dependable than the Jade Giant or Zangief (the other big brawler characters). And his specials always wreck an opponent. To top it off, Juggy is a wonderful character even in assist mode (as a "sepcial hero"). Overall, he's the biggest bang-for-your-buck in Marvel fighting games made by Capcom.

Next: The Top 9 Fighting Games!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

1. The title. "First Avenger"? The original Avengers are the ones who un-froze Cap from his Arctic cryogenic stasis in the first place! How the hell is he the "first Avenger"?! I know that this title has been out there for some time now, but I thought I'd mention this as it is endlessly perplexing.

2. The time the article was posted. When I went to look at the official date of announcement, I was surprised to find that this story dropped at 10:00 PM on a Sunday. I know it has to be ready for the Monday papers, but that's still a strange time to go and publish it online.

3. Joe Johnson is directing Captain America instead of Ant-Man. You would think that Johnson, with his notable experience as the director of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, would have been tapped for the Ant-Man movie. Nope. They gave him a WWII Captain America period piece instead. This guy obviously knows how to do small stuff on a big scale, yet he's been hired to take over the superhero that requires the least amount of fantasy special effects.

4. The picture accompanying the article. The Hollywood Reporter went out of their way to give a brief history of Steve Rogers, even going so far as to mention the horrid 90s Captain America film. But they ran a picture of the wrong Captain America!!!

Instead of showing Steve Rogers in costume, they have Bucky wearing the new Captain America outfit. WTF?! It could be Marvel's fault or it could be THR's fault. Either way, it's both funny and sad at the same time. You can even see the knife hanging on Bucky's belt in the image (not to mention those goofy stars on his shoulders).

All-in-all, I'm glad that this is going to get made. I would much rather see a Captain America movie set in the 70s with Steve and The Falcon fighting side-by-side, but any good Cap movie is better than no Cap movie.

Most of all, I'm excited at the prospect of this film hitting theaters a month or so before The Avengers movie. That means Cap will end up in the Arctic at the end of this film and then he'll get de-thawed in The Avengers just mere weeks later. That's awesome!!! I can't even think of another example of tight movie continuity like that. I'm about to piss myself just imagining how sweet that will be.

9. Fantomex's E.V.A.. From Grant Morrison's run on New X-Men comes Fantomex and his mutant gift, which acts as both his external nervous system AND his kickass transportation.

8. Captain America's Motorcycle. Kind of a boring inclusion, but you gotta admit that Cap looks sweet when he's tearing it up on his bike. Bonus points for the use of Cap's motorcycle in the 80s made-for-TV movies.

7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Turtle Van. Well, in the comics, if I'm not mistaken... it's just a van. But in the cartoon, it was a tricked out mobile fortress! And the toy was pretty excellent as well. TURTLE POWER!

6. Avengers' Quinjet. I feel like I had to include this one not because it's that great but because it's a memorable superhero vehicle.

5. X-Men's Blackbird. I love the Blackbird. Some of the most intense X-Men drama has happened aboard this vessel. If this list were based strictly on good memories, this would be #1.

4. Batman's Batmobile. Yeah, it's the Batmobile. It's classic. It's iconic. Me, I prefer the old school hot rod style Batmobile. The modern ones lack a certain flashy charisma.

3. Fantastic Four's Fantasticar. Look, it splits apart. Isn't that enough for you? Plus, this damn thing has been to how many different dimensions? It's awesome.

2. Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane. It's a plane. It's invisible. It's an invisible plane. How does it work? WHO KNOWS??? What I do know: it rules.

1. Silver Surfer's Board. You really can't top the combination of the Power Cosmic and surfing. I mean, hell, the Silver Surfer is the ultimate mobile superhero! To this day I still pretend I'm the philosophic chromed-out guy-formerly-known-as-Norrin-Radd whenever I use my skateboard to go to the grocery store.

Next: The Top 9 Comic Book Superpowers!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Movie was real mediocre. And i stayed all the way thru the credits for nothing! I thought liv tyler was the best actor in it. Roth was good too.

That about sums up how I feel about the whole thing. Now here are a few quick cameo spoilers for those who go to see The Incredible Hulk:

1. Director Louis Leterrier has been spouting off about a Captain America cameo, which is grossly misleading. My guess is that SPOILERS! when Thunderbolt Ross pulls a blue vial out of a weird cryo-bucket marked Dr. Reinstein, that blue goo inside the vial is some "Captain America" (remember, Leterrier never said anything about a Steve Rogers cameo).

2. Is that a secret Luke Cage cameo I saw when the Abomination starts smashing around in Harlem??? This may just be wishful thinking on my part, but we get a quick glimpse at a sizable looking guy running onto the street instead off the street when Harlem is getting torn up. I think this is none other than Carl Lucas a.k.a. Luke Cage. The tipping point: he's decked out in yellow.

3. Don't stay past the credits. There's nothing there. The Tony Stark cameo at the end of the film hits right before the credits, but it looks like it was supposed to follow them. Nick Fury makes no appearances (though his name flashes across the screen briefly). After the credits wrapped, the crowd at my theater was complaining that Nick Fury didn't show up. Sucks he wasn't there but how awesome is it to hear moviegoers complaining about a lack of Nick Fury?!!

The most interesting thing I'm experiencing right now is the stunningly favorable popular sentiment about the quality of the film. People who have never picked up a comic book and never will are telling me how it's their favorite superhero film they've ever seen.

A friend of mine raised a good point -- this movie was all about Tony Stark. Iron Man showed up a few times, but we were sold the genius inventor billionaire for the majority of the film instead of the guy in a robot suit.

A great observation, if you ask me. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm still shocked by how well this movie has been received. I'm extremely pleased for Marvel Studios, I'll tell you that. And I'm glad to see that Shellhead is green lit for a sequel. Thor, well, I'm iffy on that.

And 2011? Damn, that should be a fine year for comic book movies. When I was sitting in the theater watching Iron Man, I just kept thinking to myself, "this movie is okay, but how awesome will the Captain America movie be?" Seeing Cap tossing his shield around on the big screen will be a rather religious day for me. No doubt this movie will eclipse the earlier Captain America film.

That same year will see the Avengers movie, if everything goes to plan. Man, how are they going to pull that off? The first test was the Samuel L Jackson cameo after the Iron Man credits. That was good. The next test will be the Robert Downey Jr cameo as Iron Man in The Incredible Hulk. That's probably my most anticipated movie moment of the year right there.

I know that some have decried the idea of a Captain America movie separate from the Avengers film. My feeling is that we need to see Cap slinging his shield away from the big team to really appreciate the character. We need to see Falcon gliding across the New York City skyline while Cap leaps from rooftop to rooftop. I think we need to see Cap's mettle tested by going up against the Sons of the Serpent or Hate-Monger.

Not saying I'm right about any of that, mind you. I just think we need to understand Steve Rogers as a man coming to grips with the America that exists outside of his ideals. That way we get a better feel for the motivation and majesty of the person that he is (and there better be some Falcon in there!!!).

P.S. How trippy was it to see Obadiah Stane on a giant movie screen?

I was on vacation. It was a bad week in comics to be away from home. Y the Last Man #60 and Captain America #34 hit on the same day – two rather notable moments with immediate interest.

Luckily, I was sent a copy of Cap #34 and I got to see the newest Captain America in action. Oddly enough, the issue didn’t feel important or memorable. I expected more pageantry. Instead I got a “business as usual” feel from the story.

I snagged my copy of Y #60 as soon as I got back into Pittsburgh on Monday night. I set the bar pretty low for this one, considering that the past ten issues of this series have been underwhelming with a maddening ferocity.

But the issue was solid. It was a moody tale that displayed Yorick as a bitter old bastard born from a young wiseass. The story addressed the death of Agent 355 to my satisfaction. My eyes watered when Ampersand kicked the bucket.

And it will be remembered. Regardless of hype or reputation, the ending to Y the Last Man works. For me, the ambiguity of the final pages is convincing enough to call this completion a success. Captain America #34, on the other hand, is a largely forgettable issue.

So what makes a moment memorable? It’s obviously not first appearances. It’s not necessarily grand endings either. I still couldn’t tell you the ending to Watchmen. I remember the innards with clarity, but the conclusion is like a big question mark.

One component is significant change. Yorick has evolved by the time we reach his final issue. Although it’s sad that we didn’t witness his evolution over the course of a serial narrative, at least we get some intensive character growth due to the 60 year jump.

Another component is surprise. Captain America #34 lacked just about any and all surprise, at least in regards to Bucky assuming the Cap mantle. It was foreshadowed heavily and predicated by the previous issue. The conclusion of Y the Last Man, on the other hand, was a veritable cornucopia surprising moments.

And to sell it all, you need characters that communicate with persuasive conviction. This element is communicated through passionate dialogue and convincing causation. Y the Last Man #60 and last week’s New Avengers Annual #2 had this. Captain America #34 needed more of this.

If memory serves me right, I’ll forget I was on vacation when these issues came out. I’ll probably forget most of the hype around their rollout. I’ll also probably forget much of Captain America #34, but I’m sure I’ll remember the minimal melancholy of Y the Last Man #60.

Young Avengers Presents #1: Patriot - This solid gold comic book from last week comes from Ed Brubaker and Paco Medina. We follow Patriot, grandson of the first Captain America, Isaiah Walker. Eli is a young superhero that wears the American flag, but sometimes he can't reconcile the reality of the United States with his feelings about social justice. They often seem to stand in contrast to each other. A good talk with the Winter Solider (in his last appearance before becoming the new Captain America himself) helps Patriot find his own interpretation of patriotism.

New Avengers Annual #2 - This awesome read is set to hit racks this Wednesday. I got a sneak peak because I get paid to review comic books every week, and let me tell you: this issue changes everything for the New Avengers. The team loses an important member, they potentially gain an Initiative recruit, and the least likely ally runs to Tony Stark. Not to mention a huge fight scene where someone kicks the bucket (it is comic books after all, so the bucket is only kicked temporarily). With art by Carlo Pagulayan, Brian Michael Bendis writes another shocker that almost slips out under the radar.