Tag Archive for 'Bloodsport'

Culturology #62 - Tournament Movie Tournament: The Final Fight!

Tournament Movie Tournament FINAL ROUND Bracket:

(If you're not into reading and you want to spoil the match-up, skip to the bottom to see a bracket image featuring the WINNER.)

This is Pete, back at the helm again (though Nick and I are still tag-teaming on the post (a big thanks to Nick for all his work on the bracket images for the entire tournament)), typing directly into the "Add New Post" box of the back-end of AudioShocker. I'm so grateful to Nick for his help during this tournament, in fact, that I'm even letting his alteration of my column numbering scheme stand. What a whirlwind tournament tournament it's been! Just a couple of weeks ago there was a pile of movies all out there, fighting in their particular styles, but now we're down to a veritable Thunderdome wherein two movies enter, but only one movie leaves. Let's take another look at our finalists:

Bloodsport

It should surprise no one that this movie made it to the finals. The clear number one seed, Bloodsport is the heir-apparent to its own throne. Stripping all the unnecessary plot away from it's father-film Enter the Dragon, Bloodsport in a way really defines what the tournament movie is all about. It's about humans fighting as if they were cocks. And its about aggrandizing the myth of the star. Bloodsport, along with Kickboxer, made Jean-Claude Van Damme's career. And resident JCVD-expert Nick will confirm that the Muscles from Brussels never did better than his first real vehicle, Bloodsport. Additionally, the information that appears on the screen at the end of the movie introduced America to the-man-the-myth-the-legend Frank Dux, kumite motherfucker (or pathological fight-liar), giving Bloodsport a claim to verisimilitude unlike that of any of the other tournament movies we watched.

The Karate Kid, Part III

No one should question The Karate Kid's appearance across the mat from Bloodsport here in the final. You can question whether Part III is really better than the original. In the end, it boils down to this: while the original movie is perhaps a better movie over all, and a truly great sports movie, the final chapter of the trilogy is the better tournament movie. And you might balk at even that, since the tournament figures more prominently in the original than in Part III. But look at two crucial aspects of Part III's tournament structure that make it unique:

-- Conflict between the student and the master. In all the other tournament movies, the protagonist is out to prove the validity of his or her fighting ability, and almost always to pay homage to the training of his master. There is typically some kind of fighting-centric lesson learned (embrace all styles, there's always an out, etc.), but in KKIII, the lesson that the master is trying to impart -- that you don't have to fight at all -- is ignored and railed against by the student. The master still turns out to be right in the end, but not before having to acquiesce to the student.

-- Training with the enemy. In no other tournament does the protagonist go out and train with the bad guy. Terry Silver is an absolutely fantastic villain (B-movie stock, for sure, but nonetheless) to train with. Terry's Quicksilver Method, pernicious as it is, has remained in my own memory ever since I first saw this movie back in 1989.

These points alone show the worthiness of Part III to be in the finals. But also, the fact that the movie features two grown men trying to terrorize an (ostensibly) 18-year-old kid's life is absolutely amazing. Their entire goal is to put Cobra Kai dojos all over California, and that's about it. Efficient, gripping, amazing.

THE FINAL FIGHT

Before finally declaring a winner here, the committedly culturological side of me also needs to point something else out: Bloodsport appeared in 1988, The Karate Kid, Part III in 1989. This is no coincidence. At the root of all the American-learns-Asian-martial-art (and I use "Asian" here fully aware of the ridiculousness of the notion that we can use a single word like that to describe the great variety of cultures in that part of the world; I use "Asian" here in line with the way it's actually used in movies like Bloodsport) plots is the cultural need to come to terms with the three consecutive wars that the US waged against various Eastern foes (Japan, Korea, Vietnam), ending with the ruination-machine that was the Vietnam War. I've discussed this before, in the JCVD roundtables, so I won't belabor the point, but these movies represent the end of the span of years that Hollywood spent trying to come to terms with the Vietnam War. Most people really see this work being done by movies like Rambo, and the even-more-archetypal Missing in Action, but the tournament movies (and movies like Kickboxer) are on the same arc, if perhaps in a slightly subtler way (that's right! who'd've guessed it, that anything about a tournament movie could be subtle).

And The Karate Kid, Part III, as a decade-ending, trilogy-concluding, B-movie cashgrab, represents, in many ways the end of the Vietnam vet as karate expert genre. John Kreese and Terry Silver, buddies from the same platoon in 'Nam, help each other out, though they've both clearly been heinously scarred by their military experience, having been driven to severe mania and psychopathy. And they're terrorizing a kid that could have been their own son, had they not been stuck in a jungle halfway across the globe. Daniel LaRusso represents everything they hate about America: a spoiled kid who didn't have to fear the draft, never had to fight for his country or watch his buddies die, and -gasp- has befriended an actual Asian. And, to my mind, all of this shines through the movie despite its melodrama.

In the same way, Frank Dux represents the military veteran that has found a better way to survive the US's war history. He not only convinces a master to train him in the ways of the East, but then goes there and wins (this arc being made even clearer with the chanting of "The White Warrior" in Kickboxer), and then beats the Asians at their own game.

So the winner is...

There really is very little at stake in the Karate Kid, Part III. Sure, it sucks for the baddies that their t-shirts all get thrown back at them, and sure, Daniel LaRussa has managed to stick up for himself yet again, and maybe all us viewers learned something along the way as well. But Frank Dux in Bloodsport is fighting on behalf of an entire nation. Even though the using-the-kata-to-win ending of KKPIII is awesome in its purity (and has better final fight music), nothing can top the final fight of Bloodsport, the quivering of Jean Claude Van-Damme's not-yet-ravaged-by-fame face, the mighty power of his punch. However, if it came down, out of all sixteen of these tournament movies, to which movie I'd be most likely willing to watch at any given time, I'd have to go with The Karate Kid, Part III, because it really is the most entertaining of all these movies, the most re-watchable, the most useful as a pop-cultural reference. Is that enough, though, to grant it victory? I don't know...

thus...

The grueling battle ends with victory for: Bloodsport!

Tournament Movie Tournament WINNER:

Culturology #61 - Tournament Movie Tournament: Round Three!

Tournament Movie Tournament ROUND THREE Bracket:

(If you're not into reading and you want to spoil the match-ups, then skip to the bottom of this post for the FINAL ROUND bracket image.)

While I'm yet again posting this week's tourney entry, don't worry -- your ROUND THREE battle descriptions are written by your regular Culturologist, Pete. He's done watching the Pirates train for 2010, but the training camp was so bad that he's locked himself in his apartment to weep tears of desperation for the rest of the weekend.

Now on with the action:

Enter the Dragon vs. Bloodsport

Location: A bloody tournament mat in front of an audience of angry martial artists

A lot of people probably expected this to be the pairing in the FINAL ROUND of the tournament -- the mentor becomes the student, the student the kicker-of-ass. The model of the tournament has been around for a long time, historically, but it wasn't until Enter the Dragon that the tournament really came into its own as a movie plot. And so few movies since have done any better. This tournament alone featured several contenders that were really just pretenders. But then, back in those magical mid-eighties, a plucky young gymnast from Belgium wandered into a studio exec's office in Hollywood, did some impromptu kicks and splits, and Bruce Lee's greatest rival to date was born. Fitting then that the enemy in both of these movies is that baby-faced beef-cake Bolo Yeung, with all of his inexplicable arm pumping and presumably unambiguous steroid abuse.

The message of both movies is simple enough (and more Bruce Lee's than JCVD's): be open to all forms of martial arts, use your enemies methods against them, and do not trust your vision. There's plenty of arguing to be done about these movies (since they're also both exploitative and occasionally racist in their own ways as well), but we're here to answer one simple question: did Bloodsport do the tournament better than Enter the Dragon? And the answer is yes, yes it did. Bloodsport strips away so much of the unnecessary aspects of Enter the Dragon. There's no secret island, no despotic ruler, no heroin, and no slaves. Our protagonist's only goal is to win the tournament -- the only goal that a tournament movie needs!

And speaking of protagonists, as awesome as Bruce Lee is and crazy his legend, can it really compare, for sheer entertainment value, to that of Frank Dux? Did Frank Dux ever actually compete in the Kumite, let alone win it? Was he ever really in the military? Critics may gripe into the ages, but in the end, Dux's megalomania combined with Van Damme's own egocentrism give Bloodsport the extra mystical edge to take it over the top in defeating Enter the Dragon.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Bloodsport!

Redbelt vs. The Karate Kid, part III

Location: A hushed stadium full of captivated Southern Californians

Redbelt's advancement into the final four really makes a lot of sense. Coming from the well-written-by-a-well-respected-filmmaker camp of movies otherwise unfamiliar to this tournament, no one could really compete with its sharp sense of pace, crisp dialogue, and thoroughly developed main character. But now the fights have gotten serious, and can a movie about a man who doesn't want to fight really stand up against movies about characters that want to fight?

As for The Karate Kid, part III, we have a major dark-horse here. The original Karate Kid is one of the great sports movies of all time, undeniably, and a great tournament movie. But the third installment is just so amazingly over-blown that it deserved to represent the trilogy here in the final four.

Where Redbelt represents the reluctant fighter, KK3 shows us the over-anxious youth (played by a no-longer-youthful-looking Ralph Macchio) who wants to fight, wants to defend his title, despite being urged not to by his calm-minded mentor. But this also sets up the major aspect of KK3 that gives it additional interest in this tournament: the hero trains with the enemy! And the insidious "Quicksilver Method" is an absolute classic, even if most people have never even seen the film.

"You can't stand, you can't fight." The Karate Kid, part III sweeps Redbelt's leg, breaks its shin-bone in two like a piece of lumber.
"You can't breathe, you can't fight." KK3 punches Redbelt in the chest, breaking several ribs.
"You can't see, you can't fight." KK3 punches Redbelt in the face. Redbelt, its nose now broken, is blinded by its own blood.

But, of course, now the The Karate Kid, part III has that poor guy's blood all over its sweatshirt.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Karate Kid, part III!

Tournament Movie Tournament FINAL ROUND Bracket:

Be back next week to see who's declared THE WINNER!

Culturology #60 - Tournament Movie Tournament: Round Two!

Tournament Movie Tournament ROUND TWO Bracket:

(If you're not into reading and you want to spoil the match-ups, then skip to the bottom of this post for the ROUND THREE bracket image.)

Pete's off watching the Pittsburgh Pirates training somewhere in Florida, so I'm forced to fill-in as this week's Culturology blogger. Just to spite Pete for having fun in the sun and ditching us, I've deviously taken it upon myself to switch Culturology over to the "#00" system instead of the "000" numbering. MUWAHAHAHAHA! SO DEVIOUS!!!

Now on with the tourney:

Enter the Dragon vs. The Quick and the Dead

Location: A secret Wild West desert island manufacturing compound

Herod and Han both laughed maniacally as the battle began. Their arrogance, however, was quickly their undoing as they realized that the real fight was between Bruce Lee and Sharon Stone, each waging their own cultural war. "Who will win?" they wondered. Will The Lady snap action movie gender stereotypes in two or will Lee break down the wall holding back Asian actors in Hollywood??? Unfortunately, the battle didn't last long enough to dig deep into issues of nationality, gender, and representation -- even a moron stuck in a room full of mirrors knows that the "art of fighting without fighting" is too groundbreaking and original to be topped.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Enter the Dragon!

Bloodsport vs. The Quest

Location: Vietnam

Jean-Claude Van Damme, glistening in the moonlight, stepped forward into the ring to face his cloaked opponent. He braced for the fight as his attacker threw off his cloak and revealed himself to be... Jean-Claude Van Damme!?! Shocked and confused, 1980s JCVD pushed through the pain of training and prior defeat to land a single, staggering blow against 1990s JCVD. Somewhere in the crowd, Ray Jackson could be heard yelling, "He just broke the fucking world record!" while Roger Moore was busy crying as the bookie collected on his large debt (hint: he took Moore's career).

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Bloodsport!

Redbelt vs. Sidekicks

Location: Houston, Texas

A most unorthodox fight indeed! People paid good money to see a battle to the death, but instead all they got was Chiwetel Ejiofor screaming something over and over about how there's always an escape while Chuck Norris was busy combing his hair and signing autographs off to the side. However, as Norris' ego grew more and more menacing in size, Ejiofor landed an unexpected roundhouse kick and knocked Norris senseless. Norris was defeated so quickly that the audience wasn't even sure if he was ever there to begin with...

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Redbelt!

The Karate Kid vs. The Karate Kid, part III

Location: Reseda, California

Just like the night's earlier bout between Jean-Claude Van Damme and Jean-Claude Van Damme, it looked like the older film would easily best its younger opponent. Iconic? Check. Memorable? Check. Inspiring? Check. On the books, the original Karate Kid looked like the safest bet. But that was before Terry Silver and John Kreese decided to join in on the action. Suddenly, the tables turned as a more mature Danny and his two new companions thrashed younger Danny and his high school angst. The picture soon became clear: superior storytelling and better antagonists were more than a match for the original installment. The threequel was triumphant!!!

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Karate Kid, part III!

Tournament Movie Tournament ROUND THREE Bracket:

Be back next week to see which movies clobber their way into the FINAL ROUND!

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Culturology 059 - Tournament Movie Tournament: Round One!

Tournament Movie Tournament ROUND ONE Bracket:

(If you're not into reading and you want to spoil the match-ups, then skip to the bottom of this post for the ROUND TWO bracket image.)

Enter the Dragon vs. DOA: Dead or Alive

Little known fact about Bruce Lee: he was also a champion beach volleyball player (and if you told him you were looking for a slightly more "mature" attitude, his pectoral muscles would inexplicably swell to three times their normal size). Facing this overwhelmingly talented, distressingly busty version of '70s icon Bruce Lee, the shiny, comfortably 21st Century characters of DOA didn't have a chance. "Based on a video game?" scoffed Lee, "Ha. Ha ha hahha haha ha."

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Enter the Dragon!

Battle Creek Brawl vs. The Quick and the Dead

Two wildly different versions of the West butted heads in this instantly classic match-up:  a shanty-town were all the citizens like to stop-and-stare from time to time, and a Texas that is populated almost entirely by burly men. And those burly men were quite good at hugging each other and getting angry, but, well, they just couldn't do much against gun-slinging A-list Hollywood actors. Staring down her gun at a critically wounded Jackie Chan, who knelt bleeding on the ground, pleading for her to take pity and just end his life, Sharon Stone snickered and walked away, leaving Chan's barely breathing body to be picked at by the vultures that were swooping lower and lower.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Quick and the Dead!

Redbelt vs. Bronson Lee, Champion

The exploitation wizards that came up with Bronson Lee had no idea what they were in for, going up against David Mamet's well-dialogued Redbelt. Who'd of thought that one of the all-stars of contemporary theatre would also be a macho douchebag who was way into MMA? Bronson Lee didn't, and not only did he get his ass-kicked, but he was talked out of ever bothering trying to act again. Insult to injury, my friends, insult to injury. Perhaps either Charles Bronson or Bruce Lee would have stood a chance, but poor B.L. never did.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Redbelt!

Sidekicks vs. Bloodfist

This was one of the toughest matches to call in the whole first round, because both of these movies are so... uh... good! Bloodfist fared well in the early goings, as it took immediate advantage of being readily available on DVD to control the early goings of the fight. But once Sidekicks realized that its cult status, being available almost exclusively on hard-to-find VHS tapes and bootleg DVDs snapped out of its racist day-dreaming to conjure an early-nineties Chuck Norris that was still more or less in fighting form. And also, Joe Piscopo beat Billy Blanks in a swimsuit competition. Sidekicks sneaks into round two! It might just be worth watching!

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Sidekicks!

Mortal Kombat vs. The Quest

The longest, knock-down drag-out fight of the first round. Mortal Kombat came out waving around it's many shittily-animated arms, claiming re-watchability, and a superior level of Enter the Dragon knock-offery. But then Jean-Claude Van Damme ran around with some kids, took off his shirt, and did a split, and everyone in the audience, Christopher Lambert included, swooned. This one will be debated into the ages. Was it a fair fight? Were the judges biased by a bizarre, unhealthy fascination with the Muscles from Brussels? Are they rejecting all video-game based tournament movies until Marvel Vs. Capcom finally gets greenlighted? The world may never know.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Quest!

Bloodsport vs. Best of the Best

Come on people. Bloodsport wins. Duh. Bloodsport won with its eyes closed.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: Bloodsport!

The Karate Kid vs. Never Back Down

One of the greatest sports movies (let alone tournament movies) ever made faces it's most successful (and not all that successful, at that) knock-off. There may well have been things about the 2000s that were okay, but Never Back Down wasn't really one of them. No contest. Way to go, Daniel-son.

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Karate Kid!

Over the Top vs. The Karate Kid, Part III

We've met many people over the years that have claimed to have been entertained by Over the Top, but we don't really believe them. Meanwhile, KKPIII is a much better, way more over the top B-movie than Over the Top. It's not even time yet, in just the first round, to even sing the full praises of The Karate Kid, Part III. A sleeper candidate? A wildcard? Could be, could be...

The grueling battle ended with victory for: The Karate Kid, part III!

Tournament Movie Tournament ROUND TWO Bracket:

Be back next week to see which movies fight their way into ROUND THREE!

Culturology 058 - Tournament Movie Tournament!

Here at Culturology, Nick and I are getting a jump on the NCAA's upcoming March Madness by hosting a tournament of our own. What better kind of tournament than a tournament tournament? So check out the bracket below (click to enlarge) and make your choices! Then tune in next week to see how the first round plays out.


The ROUND ONE contenders:

Battle Creek Brawl: They tried to make Jackie Chan famous right after his brief appearance in Enter the Dragon. Despite flashes of his amazing charisma, it would take another decade after this movie for Chan to make it big (as big as Billy Kiss from Pittsburgh).

Best of the Best: Eric Roberts leads a team of American characters in a charge against a superior Korean Taekwondo team.

Bloodfist: Low budget fighting in the Philippines that spawned eight sequels -- more than any other movie on this list. With Billy Blanks!

Bloodsport: Jean-Claude Van Damme in the role that he never bettered, in his first and best movie. The clear favorite in the tournament.

Bronson Lee, Champion: What do you get if you cross Charles Bronson and Bruce Lee? A motherfucking champion, that's what.

DOA: Dead or Alive: Like Enter the Dragon, but with volleyball.

Enter the Dragon: The original. But is it the best?

The Karate Kid: One of the truly classic tournament movies, even if it's not as intense as the more adult fare of Bloodsport or Enter the Dragon. But can 1984's favorite plucky New Jerseyite win a whole tournament tournament in 2010?

The Karate Kid, part III: The oft-overlooked final chapter of the original Karate Kid trilogy. Most people think it went right from KK II to The Next Karate Kid, but first the Karate Kid and Mr. Miyagi had to take on some seriously menacing Vietnam veterans.

Mortal Kombat: The entirely watchable first foray into franchising the iconic video game into a filmic empire. One of the many Enter the Dragon homages in the tournament. With Christopher Lambert!

Never Back Down: Karate Kid, reinvented for douchebags in the 21st century.

Over the Top: Sylvester Stallone never speaks above a whisper (he must have been really tired when they filmed this) in this B-movie, truck-driving, arm-wrestling, father-son-bonding classic.

The Quest: Jean-Claude Van Damme is a street fighting stilt mime scamp (possibly some sort of weird child labor offender... or fetishist), forced to escape New York City and stow away on a cargo boat, where he proceeds to get caught, get saved, and get sold into martial arts slavery in Thailand. Also directed by JCVD.

The Quick and the Dead: Sam Raimi's dolly zoom wild west classic. Gene Hackman, Sharon Stone, a young Leonardo DiCaprio, and guns! What more could a tournament movie need?

Redbelt: David Mamet loves MMA. Who would've guessed? Clearly the artsy-fartsiest of the movies in the tournament.

Sidekicks: A very special vanity project for Chuck Norris, but is he really in this movie, or just a figment of our overactive imaginations?

That's the list! So now go, download the ROUND ONE bracket, and play along to see if your picks move onto ROUND TWO next Friday!

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #36 - The Poopcast

Ross and Nick share their finest poop stories in the one, the only... POOPCAST! Ross pees on his family, Nick poops in the pool, Ross poops at the airport, Nick likes a low toilet... especially in Ikea, strange library bathroom photos, Ross reveals a pooping secret and claims a turd, and Nicks squeezes a turd in London. Then, after the end theme, it's Mark's Van Damme trivia challenge and Ross complains about Bloodsport. NEXT WEEK: TMNTcast!!!

Culturology 051 - JCVD Roundtable #2: Maximum Death-Quest

So Nick and I are back this week with the second installment of our broadly-sweeping discussion of Van Damme Fest 2K9+ (and stay tuned in the coming weeks for even more special Van Damme Fest 2K9+ features!). In our first discussion we looked at the two inarguable classics of Van Damme's output: Bloodsport and Kickboxer. This week, we take a look a three movies from the apex of Van Damme's career in the mid-90s: Sudden Death, The Quest, and Maximum Risk.

And, as usual, to remind you all that there are plenty of good reasons for us to be dedicating so much time to the Muscles from Brussels, I present you this non-Van-Damme-related clip of a daring feat of strength, that does not compare with Van Damme's stunning ability to play his own identical twin in a movie:

Roundtable #2

Pete: For this roundtable, we're fast-forwarding from the early successes of JCVD's introduction to Hollywood all the way to the apex and end of his decade-long run as a truly viable action star, with a discussion of Sudden Death (1995), The Quest (1996), and Maximum Risk (1996). Granted, there are plenty of movies between Kickboxer and Sudden Death to discuss, and then the whole span of 1997-2007 before JCVD to discuss, but in a way, talking about these three movies gives us a solid set of bookends within which to discuss Van Damme's various movies. None of these three movies are great, but none of them are terrible either. In fact, I would argue that Maximum Risk was really quite good, and doesn't start too look bad until compared with more recent movies like the Bourne Blah-Blah-Blah trilogy. And with all three of these movies, we get great examples of the fact that, whether or not any skeptics would want to admit it, Van Damme definitely spent some quality time with an acting coach or two during his transition from kung-fu tournament movie star to Hollywood action movie star. The Quest, as a historical epic and tournament movie, is a bit of anomaly, stuck between the straight forward (and based in Pittsburgh!) Sudden Death and the also straight forward (but Van Damme plays identical twins!) Maximum Risk. But there's plenty to talk about for each and across all three of these movies.

If I had to pick one, I'd probably pick Maximum Risk as the best of the three, but I'm guessing you'll pick differently, Nick, since I can imagine you favoring the ambition of The Quest, plus the added bonus of it's involving Frank Dux (who gets co-credit for the story idea with Van Damme (even if that's just because the plot is pretty much just Bloodsport, sixty years earlier). Also, let's check what movies Van Damme was up against... Schwarzenegger, in similar years, was in a comedy phase, making Junior and Jingle All the Way, but also made Eraser. Stephen Seagal made Under Siege 2, Executive Decision, and The Glimmer Man. Stallone made Judge Dredd, Assassins, and Daylight. Who's really in charge here?

Nick:

Actually, my favorite of the three is also Maximum Risk. It really is a proto-Bourne film, keeping most of the mysterious international intrigue aspects but ditching the horrid camera work of the Matt Damon series. I also have to agree that Van Damme's acting is pretty strong. It tends to improve with every film. Imagine how awesome Bloodsport would be if he could turn out the emotion of Maximum Risk? That would be amazing!

I also have to agree that it seems like The Quest was JCVD's attempt to do just that - make a richer and more emotional entertainment experience with the same core concept as Bloodsport. Unfortunately, it's just an oddball. While the tournament is incredible, the character work is bizarre. Van Damme is a Charlie Chaplin meets Bruce Lee vagabond who gets used by a cheeky "pirate" played by Roger Moore... WTF??? Furthermore, Van Damme's character isn't even likable. He's kinda sleazy with his weird Oliver Twist style crew of children thieves. When it comes to fighting, you root for him because you want to see Van Damme kick ass, but there's nothing about the character's personality that makes you want him to win.

As for Sudden Death, it's my least favorite of the three, but probably the most memorable. From my office, I can see the Mellon Civic Arena where the movie was filmed, and I know the other exterior locations. In fact, I'm pretty sure one scene was even filmed on Beeler Street (a small college road where Pete and I used to party).

Looking at those other films coming out during this period, it really appears like Jean-Claude was the most serious action star of the group. He never hit the screwball comedy genre like Arnie, and he didn't make a single sequel until the end of the 90s. Unfortunately, the way I see it, all this good mojo was soon scattered as Double Team and Knock Off absolutely ravaged JCVD's credibility for the rest of the decade.

Pete:

One thing that holds Maximum Risk back is its premise that JCVD had an identical twin brother (which, at this point, I believe, he had already done once). It just seems silly and incredibly vain. Also, how much of the credit for Maximum Risk should go to Ringo Lam? I know he's mostly a Hong Kong (I think) movie director, but also one of his movies was very influential on Tarantino in Resevoir Dogs.

The more I come back to thinking about The Quest, the less I like it. One thing about tournament movies in general is that they pretty much never feature fighting that's as good as the best kung-fu action movies, and it's very difficult to maintain interest in between the fights. Kickboxer does it the same way Rocky IV does, by focusing on the training and personal growth and the larger-than-life enemy. Bloodsport does it by mostly just having a lot of fighting, some entertaining scenes with an awesome sidekick, and sprinklings of a love interest. The Quest is more or less the same plot as Bloodsport (apparently, the only way that JCVD or Dux could imagine a woman caring about a fighting tournament was by having her be a reporter), but with all kinds of bloated filler and pseudo-adventure plot. Rather than action movies like Maximum Risk or Sudden Death, I think it was The Quest that represents more of JCVD's downfall than anything.

Are there any biographies available of Van Damme? One of us should read up on it. I was talking to a friend who worked in movies a bit, and who actually claimed to have one time worked with Van Damme's stunt double, who hated Van Damme for ruining both of their careers. Accusations of drug problems, vanity, and failure to meet commitments abounded. I can definitely imagine Dux and Van Damme doing a ton of blow and making out with each other in their minds while conceiving The Quest. I'll be curious to see Van Damme's late nineties escapades to see exactly how far he falls.

Sudden Death is definitely the most memorable, Nick, even though it's not great. Partially because it was conceived by the owner of the Pens as a way to advertise for his team, which is kind of awesome. But that's just it. JCVD, more than anything else is known for his bloated non-success movies, with maybe an afterthought for the fact that Bloodsport and Kickboxer were really pretty good. Did Van Damme ever make a true martial arts action movie?

Nick:

I'm not sure what you mean by "true kung-fu movie." Give me some examples!

I can't believe how down everyone is on The Quest. On A Podcast with Ross and Nick #24, we discussed this film and Ross is really down on it just like you. All I'm saying is that The Quest looks like an Oscar contender compared to Double Team, Knock Off, and Legionnaire. I thought The Quest was hokey here and there (and certainly bizarre -- a street fighting stilt mime stows away on a cargo liner and gets sold into martial arts slavery by a flamboyant pirate), but enjoyable. I also thought that the fighting tournament was sweet as hell.

Ringo Lam was probably a big part of the quality of Maximum Risk. He did In Hell, which was a solid Van Damme flick. He also did Replicant, which I hear is great... but the movie just arrived to my house from Netflix and the DVD was cracked in half (!!!) so I have to wait until they reship it. In fact, I was on a waiting list to receive Replicant in the first place, so I'm kind of worried that there is no replacement copy...

Still, I thought Jean-Claude was really good in Maximum Risk. But would I rewatch the movie? Hell no!

That leads me to an interesting point: which Van Damme films have the highest rewatchability? I think a movie that can be rewatched -- regardless of "quality" -- is a great indication of a compelling and memorable story. In my mind, that easily places Bloodsport at the top. I've watched Timecop a few times now, and while it drags here and there, it still maintains some fun. I've seen Street Fighter a few times in the past few years and I always get a kick out of it. I'm looking forward to rewatching JCVD, though I'm dreading its rewatchability factor... will it be high or low? Other Van Damme movies I would willingly rewatch include Lionheart, Kickboxer, and maybe Nowhere to Run. I would rewatch The Quest, but just forward it to the tournament scenes. In Hell definitely has rewatchability -- but the content is so visceral and violent that it would be hard to just pop it on and let it play in the background.

Pete:

I guess I mean an action movie where most of the action/fighting is in some kind of martial-arts-esque mode, beyond just the kick-and-punch of something like Maximum Risk. Jackie Chan's early movies, for instance. Or Jet Li's. Or Tony Jaa's The Protector (one of the best ever that I've seen, for it's Muay Thai-based fighting). To me, in Sudden Death, Van Damme may as well be Stallone or anyone else that can look worried and throw a punch.

As for The Quest, Nick, I think you've just got a higher tolerance for camp than most people. I recall how I felt like you almost felt as though I had betrayed you by not liking X-Men Origins: Wolverine; it's similar here: at some point, The Quest crosses this line where the good (but not great) fighting scenes in the tournament don't make up for all the rubbish that surrounds them.

I think I'll have a better opinion on the rewatchability once I've seen more of Van Damme's movies--I'm way behind you on that front--but Bloodsport is the most obviously rewatchable. I plan on rewatching JCVD before the end of all this Van Damme discussion, but I too dread that it won't be as cool a second time around.

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Bloodsport (1988) - TXT Message Review

Bloodsport (1988) - 10/10 - Not only a great role for Van Damme, but also an amazing martial arts film. Classic.

Read more Jean-Claude Van Damme TXT Message Reviews!!!

Culturology 046 - JCVD Roundtable #1: Kicksport

As Nick mentioned his JCVD letter of intent over the weekend, Culturology will be joining in on the officially-begun-but-lasting-as-long-as-possible Van Damme Fest 2K9+, by posting occasional roundtable discussions focusing on a couple or a few of Jean-Claude's movies at a time. Why do I call them roundtables, as opposed to dialogues or crosstalks? Because, though the discussion is begun here by Nick and I, it will be continued by you, the reader, and all the other JCVD enthusiasts from all over the web.

Why JCVD? I think Nick and I both reveal our motivation in this first discussion, because it certainly relates to the still-recent movie JCVD, where Van Damme plays a washed up version of himself. We'll certainly talk about this more when we get to the actual roundtable about JCVD, so I won't say much now, but part of this exploration, to me, is about learning how, exactly, and how well JCVD earned the ability to do self-parody of JCVD. Also, it's about broadening our horizons here at Culturology, since we've been notoriously pro-Schwarzenegger and pro-Statham as action heroes, but need to get to the slightly different genre of kung-fu action, where for a time at least, JCVD reigned supreme (at least in terms of Hollywood movies). Also, JCVD is often overlooked, as that guy that did the splits all the time, and the guy that wasn't Steven Seagal or Stallone or even Chuck Norris. But to remind you all that the kung-fu wave of the late-80s early 90s produced plenty of more terrible fare, I present you with this scene from 1993's Undefeatable:

Roundtable #1

Nick:

I'm not exactly sure where to start. Thing is, I think we both generally agree that Bloodsport is superior to Kickboxer. However, maybe we disagree about the WHYs and HOWs of its superiority... at least I hope we do (because that would provide extra dramatic tension).

My general feeling is this: Bloodsport is an amazing cultural document with a fascinating history, while Kickboxer is fun martial arts film with a solid training sequence and strong final battle.

If I could draw parallels to other films, I would compare the feeling I get from Kickboxer to that of The Karate Kid, Part II, while Bloodsport feels more like Enter the Dragon. In my mind, those parallels run fairly deep - Bloodsport is a gritty "street style" film in many ways, a descendant of the Bruce Lee school of martial arts film making. It involves disparate fighters coming together for an international tournament of questionable legality. Kickboxer is more about personal vendetta and self-improvement, similar to the entire Karate Kid franchise. In particular, Kickboxer has echoes of The Karate Kid, Part II in both its final battle and in its "a small town is being bullied by local thugs so they send an outsider to defend it" conflict.

In this sense - as bizarre as it may sound - I see Bloodsport as a trendsetter, while I view Kickboxer as a perfection of its genre. It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly why I feel that way, but that's my general impression.

Pete:

I do agree that Bloodsport is the more satisfying movie. Are you calling it an "amazing cultural document" because it's based on a true story--or true life--of Frank Dux, or because of the position it holds relative to awesome fighting tournament movies? I think both aspects are legitimately interesting, especially since many of Dux's claims, apparently, came under fire, in terms of what kind of achievements he ever really gained. It certainly does owe quite a bit to Enter the Dragon, given the best-fighters-from-around-the-world-all-fight-in-this-one-tournament style, except it lacks anything that really makes a hero out of Dux the way that Bruce Lee is a hero at a larger level for overthrowing the tyrant that runs the tournament/compound that Lee infiltrates. But I think that Bloodsport expects us to perceive Van Damme as a hero of equal stature to Lee. It seems to me that this is premised on the fact that Van Damme is white (Belgian, and one of the great things that both these movies share is the unnecessary explanations of why Van Damme has his accent).

Both Kickboxer (which actually goes so far as to have Van Damme's character hailed as "the White Warrior") and Bloodsport, being movies from the late '80s, have a post-Vietnam flavor to them, dealing as much (allegorical, I suppose) with PTSD as with the actual violence of the war. Hence you have the white characters heading to the distant Orient to reclaim some lost manhood or dominance. This is also why, to me, the sidekick character in Bloodsportt is more interesting than the brother character in Kickboxer, since the brother just gets his ass kicked, whereas the buddy in Bloodsport actually seemed to be beating Chong-Li before his macho attitude and swagger finally opened him up to defeat. And, since you bring it up, Nick, the Karate Kid movies also deal quite a bit with post-Vietnam issues, especially Part III, where two Vietnam veterans do all they can to ruin the life of an 18 year old kid (which is, in my book, pretty much completely awesome).

For me personally, as much as Bloodsport is more enjoyable, Kickboxer holds a special position because it was a mythical movie for me during my childhood. I was aware of its existence for a long time, but never allowed to watch it (until I was old enough that my parents didn't try to stop me from watching R-rated movies)--but even then, for whatever reasons, I never watched it until very recently. But I very specifically recall, especially because I liked the original Karate Kid trilogy so much, that there was this movie out there, called Kickboxer, which was just the most awesome and brutal movie there ever was. It's not really all that brutal (paralyzation and rape aside), and the Muay Thai choreography ain't that great (especially compared to the more recent extremely awesome Muay Thai movies from Tony Jaa (I don't think I've ever seen more (simulated) broken bones in a movie than there are in The Protector)), but it really is an awesome movie, both for its own time and for the ages.

Nick:

My hyperbole-esque "amazing cultural document" line was referring to Bloodsport's place among awesome fighting tournament stories at large. Without a doubt, it was a direct influence on Street Fighter and the entire rich birth of fighting video games (that's not to say that Enter the Dragon wasn't as much of an influence -- just a different type of influence because Bloodsport was a contemporary of video games and even has that awesome arcade game sequence in it).

Speaking of which... how meta is that whole thing? Van Damme plays a tournament fighter in Bloodsport, wherein he plays a fighting game as his first real competition in the film. Then the arcade smash Street Fighter II comes out a few years later and totally runs off the Bloodsport-inspired resurgence of martial arts tournament stories. Then Van Damme actually stars in the Street Fighter movie a few years after that. Then, to tie-in with the film, there's an arcade game released with Van Damme's face and body literally in the role of Guile. That really takes the whole thing full circle.

Anyway, to address another one of your points, I think the Vietnam themes in both Bloodsport and Kickboxer are there, but I see them differently. Simply by casting a European man in both those roles, it completely changes the meaning. While the scripts may have tried to address PTSD and other such Vietnam themes more directly, the actual films don't play on those themes in quite the same way with JCVD in the lead. Though his characters have American connections in both films, he himself is of European origin, and thus the concept of the "white characters heading to the distant Orient to reclaim some lost manhood or dominance" is transformed into something else. In fact, the "best friend" characters in both films - Ray Jackson and Winston Taylor - are really the characters attempting to reclaim some sort of macho manhood or dominance. And things don't really work out smoothly for them. Instead, Van Damme becomes the cultural wild card for the audience -- he's not from the country where the story takes place, but he's also not from America (or, at least, he doesn't represent the traditional "American man"). I see Van Damme's characters in these films being less about some sort of post-Vietnam white manhood and more about cultural exchange. Maybe I'm wrong about that because I'm looking back on stories from 20 years ago and commenting on them now. But I also don't think that particular Vietnam war theme is as direct as you make it out to be (Rambo and 80s Chuck Norris seem to do a better job at that notion of reclaiming cultural dominance for the American white male).

As for significance, Kickboxer is definitely more culturally quotable. The Hot Shots franchise even parodied the final Kickboxer battle in full. But I think that Bloodsport is the more revolutionary of the two, especially considering that the film was shelved for years until Van Damme got it re-edited and eventually released. The Dux thing is cool, but that's only a part of what makes the movie, to me, a cultural landmark in action and adventure cinema. I mean, when was the last time a low budget action movie was able to struggle its way to the top? Comedy, drama, even horror - but almost never an action.

Pete:

Speaking of meta, have you seen JCVD? I think it's actually a pretty solid movie, not great, but certainly entertaining for Van Damme's portrayal of himself as a washed up former star.

I agree with you about the Vietnam stuff; I think certainly it's Ray Jackson and Winston Taylor that are the "macho" straight-up Americans set to conquer. But I don't think the writer would have bothered with the accent explanations if it weren't to clarify that Van Damme's characters ARE American. Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger: he's always just an American tough, with an apple pie kind of name, and his accent is just ignored. So yes, Van Damme, is a different kind of American, but it's crucial that he be seen as American (from both the writer's and the viewers' perspectives). In Kickboxer you see it because Van Damme has respect for Muay Thai where Taylor doesn't, in the early sequence where Van Damme tries to talk Taylor out of fighting. And then Van Damme goes on to learn that style, so yes in a way it is about cultural exchange; but, given that once Van Damme becomes "Asian" by learning their fighting, he is hailed by the crowds as "the white warrior" which still has implications for East/West relations. And yes, there are better examples of the post-Vietnam thing to be found in Chuck Norris (and actually, I should admit, I've never seen any of the Rambo movies the whole way through), but if not explicitly about the war, there's still some kind of Orientalism afoot here, in terms of Van Damme's needing to learn the ways of the Mystic Orient in order to conquer it.

That's a good point about Bloodsport's low budget. It's hard to imagine another kind of movie that could meet similar success, since they really only needed a handful of sets to make that movie. Especially when you compare it to higher budget versions of similar plots--essentially, the video game movies of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat (it's been since college since I've seen either of these, but I feel like I would defend them both, and I know you love Street Fighter)--the more costly movies really don't do it any better.

Did Van Damme himself ever do any better than Bloodsport or Kickboxer?

Nick:

Yeah, I have seen JCVD. It's what got me started on my Jean-Claude Van Damme marathon. I think he's definitely self-aware and actually pretty sick of the Hollywood entertainment machine, and I find that refreshing. I don't think Arnold ever quite reached that point.

So far, I've watched all of Van Damme's catalog up through 1996 or 1997. None of those films have reached the heights of Bloodsport or Kickboxer. But that's as a whole film -- in general, his acting seems to improve with just about every movie I see (except for the huge dip when he made the Dennis Rodman team-up, Double Team, and the Rob Schneider team-up, Knock Off). I just recently watched The Quest, which is sort of like JCVD's big budget version of a historical Bloodsport. While the movie itself isn't as much fun as Bloodsport, it does have some finer moments (including excellent character work by Van Damme). The actual tournament fight in The Quest is probably perfects upon the concept behind Bloodsport, but it stills lacks some of the original's suspense and lo-fi charm. Interestingly, his best films following Bloodsport and Kickboxer seem to be complete departures from the tournament genre, those being Nowhere to Run and Maximum Risk.

Culturology 043 - Unsimulated Criticism

A celebration is in order with this post, as it marks the beginning of the second year of Culturology. Crazy, I know. I think forty-two posts/articles (some more fully formed than others, though all of them springing forth, Athena-like, from my forehead) in fifty-two weeks is pretty damn impressive. Maybe 10 weeks off seems like more than the standard number of vacation weeks in the contemporary work week, but Americans work too hard, and since these publish on Mondays, and almost all the bank/gov't/university (the latter effecting me most since it's where I get my internet) holidays take place. Had Nick and Neal any idea what a stalwart contributor they were adding to the audioshocking ranks when they convinced me to do this? It strikes me as being a worthy activity of singing my own praises for the entirety of this post, I will refrain from doing so.

Though I hit the theaters with frequency, the bulk of my movie watching, as with so many people these days, via an internet-based, DVD-rental-mailing system. Given the wide scope of my interests, without careful planning working-down-the-queue style movie arrivals (the kind of careful planning which got Bloodsport and Kickboxer to my door on the same day--a day where I had a big important meeting with my thesis adviser, so needed the ass-kicking celebration that evening (a duo of movies, by the way, which hopefully Nick and I will think of a clever way of discussing here in a future post)). As an example of less careful planning, the two movies I had over the weekend: Studio Ghibli's The Cat Returns, an animated feature for young audiences, and Nagisa Oshima's In the Realm of the Senses, a movie best known, probably, for its unsimulated sex scenes (but totally legit, since, like, it's on Criterion Collection...).

So both movies were Japanese, watched by me with English subtitles, but the similarities stop with that. I figure, at least with the audio in Japanese, my neighbors, if they heard my speakers, couldn't tell what I was watching ("Ugh, our stupid neighbor is watching kids' movies again," or "Ugh, our neighbor is watching pornography again."). Both movies featured a fair amount of screaming, though the prior featured the shrieks of a teenager being startled by the strange occurrences in a mystical land of cats, and the latter the orgasmic shrieks of a woman so in love and obsessed with her lover that she cuts off his penis at the end of the movie to keep it (based on a true story!). I keep my volume pretty low, as it is.

An interesting contrast, though, since Studio Ghibli (especially the works by Miyazaki, though this movie was made by one of his proteges) consistently produces movies with refreshingly strong female main characters, and movies with unsimulated sex scenes generally ruin the careers (I'm thinking of "mainstream" movies that feature such things, not of pornography-as-such--though you can also think of pornstars making "mainstream" (if quasi-artsy) movies, most recently Soderberg's movie that did-you-hear-it's-totally-made-with-a-hardcore-porno-star-as-the-lead-actress; always a matter of spectacle)) of the woman that take roles therein (certainly the case with In the Realms of Senses, where it was the lead actress's first movie part, and she only got offers for porno movies afterward, eventually showing up in a couple more movies and then moving away from Japan entirely). The male actors, generally, I think, just get big cultural high-fives (think for instance, of Gallo's Brown Bunny).

And of course, there's whatever argument to be made, at least in the case of well-made, carefully shot, generally "good" movies, like Realm of the Senses, that it's not subjugating it's female lead within the film they way that she lost respect in the actual world. But the whole notion of "unsimulated" breaks that ability to draw that line between the representational world of the film and the actual world that it represents, insofar as, being fictionalized, even the "actual" penetration represented on film is still relegated to simulation. So the claim of "unsimulated" is quite similar to the "nonfiction" of memoir--and, also similarly, prurient garbage. So, the art of the movie, some of which is quite nice, is still art, but the pornographic aspects are just pornographic and gimmicky. I think the blurbs would generally argue for some kind of boundary-walking going on, but that's really just a moving back-and-forth from one "realm," as it were, to another. Making artsy porn does just that.

And, given that I'm still working my way through Studio Ghibli's catalogue, and my preference for all-audience fare continues--who'd a thought that I was so conservative? (Though if there were no American Right, I'd have no problem being on the pragmatic/rationalist (in my mind conservative) side of the leftist spectrum.) Well, I'm leaving a lot out of this issue for the moment; there's a larger discussion to be had, and I'd probably give way on various points for the sake of discourse and truth-seeking, etc. But this can fall back, like so many of my arguments do, to the cushion of boredom--I like tales of masculine triumph as much as the next guy (see the eventually upcoming post about the above-mentioned JCVD movies), but, (and maybe I'm just a wishy-washy liberal humanist after all) a well-balanced, well-represented, and of course, interesting and well-made cultural melange seems to me to be the way to go, and it seems like, to bring pornography into the mainstream, or the quasi-mainstream of art movies, you'd have to go out of your way to downplay its unsimulatedness, which certainly wasn't the case, based on the DVD extras, with Realm of the Senses (and maybe the Kingdom of the Cats is real!).