Celebrity Apprentice, epublishing experiments featuring Zombie Palin, print publishing of Time Log #1, and some tentative webcomics announcements. Then it's Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and the Pussy Wagon in the Telephone music video. We finish it off with Old Spice, Green Zone, and more Gentlemen Broncos.
Tag Archive for 'Beyonce'
I'm not sure how to process Beyonce's alter ego, Sasha Fierce, anymore. I can't even come up with a witty headline. The 'good' vs. 'edgy' single release strategy was cute back in 2008, but 4+ cycles later I am over it. In any case, B just dropped a new video for Video Phone featuring (no surprise here) Lady Gaga.
The Track: Garbage. So far everything I have heard from this 'era' sounds the same. I think the beat could have been better used for something else. Gaga's inclusion is pointless play for relevance and she fails to add anything to the track. Bey is capable enough on her own, why is she bringing another 'diva' in the mix. Isn't that why she left DC in the first place? I don't get this, the same way I don't get why she did that other track with Shakira. Finally, I know I've said it before, but why does B keep trying to appear gutter glam? That's like Bill Gates saying he really digs the open source model and that he uses Plan 9. More to the point, it's not like anyone other than the Jigga Man has the remote possibility of a chance. Such a ridiculous and unbelievable tease.
The Video: Hype Williams done lost his mind. White, black, epilepsy inducing editing, a multitude of hyper color toy guns, Abu Grahib esque hoods, dudes with camera lenses for heads. Hype was clearly tripping off some Terry Gilliam Brazil / Time Bandits nonsense.
I mean check it out for yourself, it oozes excess and hubris. The whole thing is visually jarring for the sake of being so. Then again, taken as a leading indicator, we could be finally pulling out of the recession.
The video and inclusion of Ms. Disco Stick reinforces my theory that Lady Gaga is the most disruptive force in pop music right now. (Important note: B rocks a plastic m16 while Lady GarBage rocks an anemic pistol) Ciara, Beyonce, Shakira, Rihanna, and even my dear Amerie are all falling prey to and imitating her crazy, lone ranger, weirdass B.S. Every new pop diva video I see is just trying to capture some of her wackass style.
The Bottom Line: Hot, soggy, smelly refuse
We all saw 9 and that means SPOILERS! We also discuss LIGHTS, JCVD in Universal Soldier, Michael Jackson and his awesome beatboxing skills, Raekwon, Slick Rick, Ying Yang Twins, Beyonce and Kanye and Taylor Swift at the VMAs, Teena Marie and Smokey Robinson riding on Cruise Control, and the awesomeness of the new Star Trek movie.
The Motherlover Day podcast hits at full blast as we talk about how Neal loves Star Trek but is totally wrong about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the artists formerly known as Dipset release new albums (Juelz drops something about the Skull Gang while Cam wants us to believe that Crime Pays), Eminem is having a Relapse and Neal thinks it sucks, not-so-new movies filled up our watching weekend (Cadillac Records, Live Free or Die Hard, and The Incredible Hulk), Neal only has good things to say about el Crimen Perfecto, Nick has been reading the new Power Girl comic by Amanda Conner and old Iron Man comics from the early 90s, and, of course, we talk about the naked pictures of Cassie and Rihanna.
We kick it off with a concert review of the Britney Spears Circus show in Pittsburgh featuring a special surprise interview with Britney herself... okay NOT really, but the Pussycat Dolls were there too, then we dig into the history of the Pussycat Dolls and Nicole Scherzinger, Fierce Diva Tranny Bitch too of course, Justique thinks Ciara looks like a man, Neal can't finish Rachel Getting Married, Neal enjoyed the epic Sharp Teeth werewolf poem written in free verse, Justique enjoyed The Living and the Dead graphic novel, Nick enjoyed the latest issue of the Street Fighter II Turbo comic book featuring a backup story with Crimson Viper, and more More MORE!
I am obviously a few weeks late on MIMS' new track Move. I've been holding out on this one, and for good reason: I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Well, after a few weeks of reflection, I think I am ready to give it a full AudioShocker rundown.
The Track: Let me be clear here. I fucking love the backbeat. Producers have been killing it on percussion recently. I could do without the baby voice as it reminds me a lot of Beyonce's Diva, but it isn't nearly as annoying here. At the end of the track, it drops out and then there is that "bop bop bop beat it up like a drummer" thing. Classic! It is a real nice touch.
Let's talk punchlines and lyrics. Ever since This Is Why I'm Hot, MIMS street cred has been under scrutiny. I mean, he is about as hard as Will.I.Am or Flo Rida. So when MIMS brings lines like:
When I roll up on you niggas like a ska-ter
Move if you wanna when you see that red la-ser
No matter how you move bet that infrared will chase ya
Then I keep it movin, homey see you la-ter
I have to close my eyes and pretend that he is someone else - someone who I perceive as being a more thuggish ruggish dude. Afterall, MIMS has more in common with hipster-hop than he does Suge Knight. But here is the real test: do I keep listening to it? Yes. It is a fun track. I'd pump this in my car now that the weather is breaking.
Lastly, I would be remiss if I did not address the whole "MIMS is jockin' Gillie Da Kid's flo" thing. I see where everyone is coming from, and MIMS does look pretty guilty. However, unlike Gillie, he amps it up and keeps the flo dynamic. I do not care for Gillie's seeming monotone. And another thing. It's not like Gillie invented the fast/slow flow. Busta Rhymes and plenty of other artists have employed it in the past.
The Video: Talk about simple. There is very little art to this video. I feel like it is a cross between something The Cool Kids would do and the moving dolly part of Will Smith's Summertime. Basically, we have MIMS sidescrolling through some street scenes with some random dancers on a short loop. It is an interesting take on the standard performance video, but it doesn't do anything for me.
The 3 second loop thing is kind of pointless. Maybe if there were some scratching on the track it would have made sense? And the twisting thing? Also stupid. For a lead single/video I expected something more kinetic - especially considering the title.
The Bottom Line: It's hot - feel free to turn up the volume (in your car).
Shit! I totally forgot it was Wednesday, I didn't write anything, and now I am sitting at the airport. I feel like Pete! Total Munson, right? In my defense, I've been at home since Friday doing grad school stuff. But I did watch the Oscars.
Did anyone else think the show was as janky and half assed as I did? All of the presenter pairs were unprepared and acted like it was their first time reading off a teleprompter. The curtains didn't work right and Hugh Jackman is a clown. (Hi Five John C. McGinley) On Monday, when I talked to people about it they all told me how amazing Jackman was. "I never knew he was so talented / He can act, sing, dance, everything!" I suppose for those familiar only with Jackman's action movies, Wolverine does not seem so multifaceted. But anything with a passing interest in Hugh should be aware of his stage acting, his voice work in Happy Feet and Flushed Away, and the notion that ALL actors sing and dance. It's pretty much a requirement to be in the business. In any case, Jackman's enthusiasm should be credited, not his performance. Honestly, why isn't Wayne Brady hosting the Oscars? Buy American people!
I'm don't care so much about who got the awards- but I do feel like they presented an ungodly number of awards onscreen just to justify the show. I mean really, how many of us catch animated or live action shorts? Do most of us care about the award for best sound mixing and foley? And, are musicals really back? Mamma Mia! and Hairspray come out and all of a sudden musicals are back? Sorry, no. When guys like me are going to see movies like that - then perhaps musicals will be back. Until then, I call shenanigans. That musical medley was a mess too. Too much back and forth, it sounded like someone went apeshit with the radio dial.
Things I did like: the 'five presenters in the round' concept. That was kind of neat and emphasized the whole 'honor to be nominated' thing. I also liked the structure of the show illustrating the production of a movie from inception to post.
That's all I got and I have a plane to catch. Peace.
British humor vs. rap music, Nick loves Balls Out and JCVD, Neal reminisces about Edgewood Town Center, Gabriel Bros vs. American Apparel, Nick watched people light fires in the streets of Pittsburgh after the Steelers won the Super Bowl, Neal watched Super Bowl Commercials and hated them, Nick watched Chaos;HEAd and loved it, Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse, New Avengers #49 and Luke Cage, Avengers: The Initiative #21 and Clor, and In Like Flint is overrated.
Then, after the end theme, the guys discuss some shocking casting news for The Last Airbender - Dev Patel is in as Zuko. As usual, the casting makes no sense and Neal is revoking M. Night Shyamalan's Chaat Stand Pass.
Look Out! Neal Shyam is bringing the ruckus with a fresh music video review. Beyonce dropped new videos for Halo and Diva last week, and after viewing both, I decided to train my sights on the greater of two evils. My assessment covers both track and video, natch.
The Track: This beat is the raunchy 90210-esque love triangle of a thuggish ruggish hard knock beat, a baby-voiced chorus, and a broken violin. If it were just the percussion, this beat would be savage. I love the drumline sound mixed with the kick of the 808. But as it is, my brain can't process all three elements at once.
You've know how cocaine is often cut with crap like baby laxative? Well here the track is the yayo, (shoutout to John Forté who just got out of lockdown. Talk about stayin alive!), while the laxatives are everything else.
The entire idea of a thugged out Beyonce track always strikes me as mildly ridiculous (This is a stickup/ You see the mask/ I need them bags of that money). Furthermore, is there anyone who doesn't already acknowledge her diva status? I get the feeling that Beyonce is facing some sort of street-cred crisis. It's as though she feels that if she doesn't release tracks like this every now and then, she'll lose her ghetto pass. Well I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news B, but if you ever had a ghetto pass - it expired the day you gerrymandered Destiny's Child around yourself and Kelly Rowland.
And I call bullshit all over the chorus. Everyone I know who calls themselves a diva is a spoiled, bratty, twelve year old acting, daddy's girl. How can you compare that with being a hustler? Diva's are high maintenence. A hustler doesn't rely on anyone but himself.
The Video: Here is my impression of the director's pitch: "Hey B, I got an idea. Let's take your recent and wildly successful video and do it over again in a warehouse with some golden mannequins." Amazing, I know.
The director, Melina, has quite a few videos to her credit (Go Girl, Just Dance, Money Maker) - but at least half of them are stinkers (Sensual Seduction, Good Good, Green Light, anything by NeYo....) Curiously, she did not direct the Single Ladies video. Which begs the question: What the fuck, when did jocking Robert Palmer's marketing strategy become cool?
And while some artists release one video at a time, Beyonce likes to drop deuces. As we discussed on the podcast yesterday, this is probably just part of the split personality / Sasha Fierce thing. Release a soulful song (Halo) and a really in your face track simultaneously (Diva). I understand it, but I also understand saturation. Single Ladies is way more popular than If I Were A Boy, to the point where only one single can be relevant at any given time. This did not work so well with the last album either, when she released 4 videos at the same time and no one knew about 3 of them. Interesting experiment though.
Here is the thing, the black, the white, the dancers, the warehouse, the mannequins, the crazy angular outfits, those ridiculous sunglasses at the beginning, I can't take it! This video is an audio-visual cacophony. I'm all for art and high fashion and dancing - but, I think I prefer B at the end of the video: jeans, t-shirt, and a ponytail.
The Bottom Line: When was the last time your diva ass had to hustle for shit B?
My Bloody Valentine in 3D was fun for Nick, Neal thinks Elizabeth Banks was miscast in The Uninvited, both Neal and Nick think The Last Airbender movie has been miscast too, arguing about Colin Hanks leads to arguing about Jack Black, Nick liked Sean William Scott in Balls Out but disliked Beyonce on I Am... Sasha Fierce, Neal enjoyed Tremors while Nick enjoyed X-Men: Legacy #220 (he also read Mighty Avengers #21 and War Machine #2), and Neal is almost done watching Hatuna Meuheret (Late Marriage).
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