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Heath Ledger wins one for the Joker
Er, um, I mean Heath Ledger wins. But the Joker won too. As so did DC Comics. Which is awesome. And so did The Dark Knight. Which is not awesome (to me).
So is this any indication of who will win the Oscar?
P.S. Colin Farrell just made a cocaine joke on national TV. Is that shocking or just totally normally nowadays? I dunno... I don't watch TV, really.
Neal wants to see Black Snake Moan because he loves Christina Ricci, Teen Wolf is surprisingly subversive, The Spirit is filmed in Millervision, Peyton Reed and Craig Alpert make Yes Man a great movie, Neal thinks "Just Like Me" by Jamie Foxx and T.I. is just okay, War Machine #1 by Greg Pak and Leonardo Manco stars a different Rhodey than Nick is used to, and Neal wants to know if superheroes movies pull more from old comics or new comics.
Ross Campbell is afraid that his comics career might be drowned in evil just like Wet Moon 4, while Nick thinks that Ross should reinvigorate the franchise with Ultimate Wet Moon (though Ross would prefer a more classic Wet Moon 2099 revamp instead). Then, after the end theme, Ross shares his feelings on Batman Begins and The Dark Knight (and we promise it ain't pretty).
NOTE: Please see last week's The Top 9 Superheroes I DON'T Want to Hang Out With.
9. Thunderball. You know, from the Wrecking Crew. He's got that awesome wrecking ball on a chain that he swings around. We'd go to a condemned building and swing that damned ball around until the whole place comes crashing down. Around the time that he decides to go rob a bank, I'll just say I'm tired and head home.
8. Deathstroke. I would convince Slade Wilson that we should go to an underground fighting tournament and have some fun. We'll do the Munson and McCracken routine from Kingpin, and pretend we're inexperienced betters. Then I'd sit back and watch Deathstroke take out every single chump one-by-one.
7. Catwoman. Sexy and spontaneous, we'd definitely do something fun. She's more of a trickster baddie than a malicious villain, so I wouldn't have to worry about risking my life too much during one night out with Selina Kyle. It would just get boring to hear her talk over and over about how great Batman is.
6. Dr. Doom. Okay, he's a bit nuts. But he can travel through time, he's a scientific genius, and he certainly doesn't lack entertainment value. The only way a hang out session with Victor Von Doom could go downhill would be if he tried to make me his servant or something like that.
5. Riddler. Our conversations would be utterly confusing but his constant need to tell me interesting puns and mystery stories could actually end up being really enjoyable. I mean, one night of Edward Nigma would be enough. But I think it would be worth it for a single hang out session.
4. Batroc. C'mon, you know that I would hang with Georges for one night and one night only for this simple reason - parkour. I would meet up with Batroc in a city that has a lot of low roofs and I would watch him do crazy stunts all night... preferably, somewhere with a lot of poured concrete architecture.
3. Mystique. I would work real hard to stay on Mystique's good side all night because when I go home with her later, I can have sex with anyone I want! It just takes Raven Darkholme one simple thought and BAM! I can choose from Kerry Washington or Lucy Liu (or why not both!?!). Excellent.
2. Namor. Yeah, the guy is a bit unstable. But the Sub-Mariner has an entire underwater kingdom at his command, and I would want to spend at least one hang out session traveling the ocean depths with him. I would ask to visit all sorts of incredible scenic underwater locations that air breathers have never seen before.
1. Galactus. Okay, first off, I would not want to hang with him on a "hungry" night. Well, I guess he's always hungry... but you catch my drift. Galactus and I would chill shortly after he's eaten. Thus he would be in a jovial mood, and I would ask the oldest being in the universe all sorts of fascinating questions about the cosmos.
Previous: The Top 9 Superheroes I DON’T Want to Hang Out With!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
[We postpone our regular installment of Sneaking Into Comics to bring you this special vision of the future courtesy of our incredible AudioShocker time machine. Okay, okay, we don't actually have a time machine. I'm pretty much just pulling this out of my ass based on a bit of educated guessing.]
You're probably thinking, "How the fuck do you know what DC Comics is going to do? Your only contact with DC consisted of three failed interviews! You're full of shit."
But it's a pretty simple prediction to make. Neil Gaiman said it himself. Check out this snippet of his interview with MTV's painfully shameless Splashpage blog:
"[DC Comics] phoned me up and said... 'Would you like to write the last issue of Batman and the last issue of Detective Comics?' And when they make an offer like that, you say yes."
So there you have it. Neil Gaiman closes out Detective Comics and Batman with his "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader" story. This is an especially easy future prediction considering that DC Comics just announced Robin, Nightwing, and Birds of Prey are all getting canceled in February.
So when Batman and Detective Comics get the axe in 2009 (or at least relaunched with new #1 issues), remember that the AudioShocker officially predicted it first.
I've been trying to tell everyone about this for a few weeks. Now I've decided to go on record with this futuristic Batman vision in light of the three supporting series getting the boot. However, let it be known that my future predicitons may be a bit far fetched.
So now that we've established this, the real question is: are you going to read Batman and Detective Comics if (let's really be honest here: WHEN) they get relaunched?
Tom Scioli, Pat Lewis, Ed Piskor, Jason Lex, Jim Rugg, and Chris Moeller talk about their published comics and upcoming projects. Phantom of the Attic customers weigh in what's hot in comic books while they reveal shocking personal moments. Technical difficulties (a.k.a. I forgot to hit record) meant we missed some choice moments (sorry Mel, I wanted people to know about dirty balloon animals for adults too!).
[Note: This dream was not actually last night. Blog posts have to be planned a few days in advance. I actually had this dream sometime last week. But let's pretend it happened last night, okay? Oh, and check out this other dream I had recently about working for Image and Marvel.]
It all began as I entered Blockbuster to, I assume, rent a movie. I noticed the wall facing the entrance was covered with collectibles and non-movie products. Justique went to find something for us to watch while I went to peruse this interesting wall of items.
Something caught my eye towards the bottom... action figures! I can't resist new action figures every time I go to Target or Wal-Mart. I never buy them, but I love seeing what's new.
The first set was He-Man related (probably due to all those damn He-Man toy posts I read on Topless Robot). The second row had a boring X-Men collection. But the last line had something unexpected -- Black Panther toys!
At first, I thought I was looking at some sort of DC Universe toyline and I almost walked away. But I did a double take when I saw the Black Panther logo across the top of the packaging. The toys were part of a "Black Panther vs. the DC Universe" line of action figures. Weird!
That's when the store clerk -- none other than P. Diddy himself -- came over to tell me that he personally ordered the Black Panther action figures. Apparently P. Diddy is very proud of his efforts in Blockbuster inventory ordering because he wouldn't shut up about the damn toys.
Finally, the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy shut his damn mouth and I was able to get a look at action figures. Here's what they had:
Black Panther vs. Superman. Superman was on the left as he leaned into T'Challa with all his might. Meanwhile, Black Panther was decked out in a navy blue and gray Superman-style costume on the right, complete with flowing Superman-style hair. All I could think was: "It's weird that T'Challa straightened his hair just to fight Superman..."
Black Panther vs. Batman. Batman was in a leaping pose as if he was flying off a rooftop and into battle with T'Challa. The Black Panther was on the right side bracing for impact in a Dark Knight-style crouched position, decked out in red and orange. He even had a Batman-style cape and cowl. Why was T'Challa fighting these heroes in the first place, and why was he wearing poorly-colored replica costumes?
Black Panther vs. ???. Unfortunately, this is where the dream ended. P. Diddy was annoying me while I was trying to show Justique these awesome action figures. As I reached for the third package, my dream went hazy and I woke up. It would have been awesome to see T'Challa fighting Green Lantern or Hawkman. Honestly, this third toy was probably Aquaman (considering how much I love the Orange Shirted Wonder of the Seven Seas).
And that was that. Totally bizarre and totally excellent. I know there's never going be a Black Panther vs. the DC Universe toyline, but I can always dream, right?
9. Fantomex's E.V.A.. From Grant Morrison's run on New X-Men comes Fantomex and his mutant gift, which acts as both his external nervous system AND his kickass transportation.
8. Captain America's Motorcycle. Kind of a boring inclusion, but you gotta admit that Cap looks sweet when he's tearing it up on his bike. Bonus points for the use of Cap's motorcycle in the 80s made-for-TV movies.
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Turtle Van. Well, in the comics, if I'm not mistaken... it's just a van. But in the cartoon, it was a tricked out mobile fortress! And the toy was pretty excellent as well. TURTLE POWER!
6. Avengers' Quinjet. I feel like I had to include this one not because it's that great but because it's a memorable superhero vehicle.
5. X-Men's Blackbird. I love the Blackbird. Some of the most intense X-Men drama has happened aboard this vessel. If this list were based strictly on good memories, this would be #1.
4. Batman's Batmobile. Yeah, it's the Batmobile. It's classic. It's iconic. Me, I prefer the old school hot rod style Batmobile. The modern ones lack a certain flashy charisma.
3. Fantastic Four's Fantasticar. Look, it splits apart. Isn't that enough for you? Plus, this damn thing has been to how many different dimensions? It's awesome.
2. Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane. It's a plane. It's invisible. It's an invisible plane. How does it work? WHO KNOWS??? What I do know: it rules.
1. Silver Surfer's Board. You really can't top the combination of the Power Cosmic and surfing. I mean, hell, the Silver Surfer is the ultimate mobile superhero! To this day I still pretend I'm the philosophic chromed-out guy-formerly-known-as-Norrin-Radd whenever I use my skateboard to go to the grocery store.
Next: The Top 9 Comic Book Superpowers!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
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