DARK HORSE COMICS

BERSERK TP VOL 24
LANKHMAR BOOK 06 SWORDS & ICE MAGIC

Nick: This would be a far more exciting title if it was “LANKHMAR BOOK 06 SWORDS & MAGIC ON ICE” — don’t you agree that a comic book about an ice show is far more interesting than a comic about ice magic?

SCRAMBLED INK HC

Nick: I’ve never tried anything made with octopus ink (I know they make black pasta with it), but this title definitely made me imagine scrambled eggs all grayish-yellow with the ink of octopi mixed in. Mmm mmm… tastes gooooood.

STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF OLD REPUBLIC #31 TURNABOUT
STAR WARS LEGACY #26

Nick: This month in Dark Horse’s non-fiction Star Wars series: Fans cringe as George Lucas continues to milk the prequel concept as he releases Star Wars episode 2.5 as an animated film. When will the madness stop?!

USAGI YOJIMBO #113

DC COMICS

AMBUSH BUG YEAR NONE #1 (OF 6)
ARMY @ LOVE TP VOL 02 GENERATION PWNED
AUTHORITY PRIME TP
BATMAN #676 RIP 3RD PTG
BATMAN GOTHAM AFTER MIDNITE #3 (OF 12)

Nick: Detective Comics Comics’ epic miniseries about Batman’s plunge into the Gotham City disco scene of the 1970s continues.

BRAVE AND THE BOLD #15
COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE TP

Nick: You know what this title says to me? “The adventure isn’t here yet… we’re almost there… just wait until we finish the countdown.”

DIANA PRINCE WONDER WOMAN TP VOL 02
DMZ #33
ELSEWORLDS RED SON BOX SET
EXTERMINATORS #30
GON VOL 05
GREEN ARROW BLACK CANARY ROAD TO THE ALTAR TP

Nick: Anyone ever see that movie The Gay Zorro? I think it would be excellent if DC Comics published a mini called The Gay Arrow about Oliver Queen having to go on an undercover mission for a month, so his long-lost gay brother covers for him and takes on the mantle of Green Arrow for a couple weeks. Ollie is so hyper-hetero that just about everyone would notice.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #26
JOKERS ASYLUM SCARECROW #1
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #23
KIICHI AND THE MAGIC BOOKS VOL 02
LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #44
MAD MAGAZINE #492
MADAME XANADU #2
NUMBER OF THE BEAST #8 (OF 8)

Nick: 1-800-666-EVIL

ROBIN #175 RIP
SCOOBY DOO #134
SECRET HISTORY THE AUTHORITY HAWKSMOOR #5 (OF 6)
SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY ARCHIVES HC VOL 03
SPIRIT #19
SUPER FRIENDS #5

Nick: I think I would be more interested in this comic book if it featured old stills from the Super Friends TV show rewritten with inappropriate dialogue. HEY! That gives me an idea…

SUPERMAN #678
SUPERNATURAL RISING SON #4 (OF 6)
TRINITY #8
TWO FACE YEAR ONE #1 (OF 2)

Nick: Grrrreat idea, DC. Put out a Two-Face Year One right after the movie comes out where the character dies. Ooooops, I forgot a SPOILER ALERT. My bad.

X-FILES SPECIAL #0

IMAGE COMICS

ALETHEIA #3 (OF 3)
AMERICAN FLAGG DEFINITIVE COLL HC 1 01
AMERICAN FLAGG DEFINITIVE COLL SGN HC VOL 01

Nick: OMG! I remember when this was first solicited four years ago! It’s actually the only issue of Previews I’ve ever picked up. I can’t believe that it actually came out. This should be published by DC Comics in the All-Star line.

ART OF WITCHBLADE
BROKEN TRINITY #1 ROSS CVR B
BROKEN TRINITY #1 SEJIC CVR A

Nick: HAHAHAHA! Great title. If only this was a satire / parody of DC Comics’ Trinity…

COMIC BOOK TATTOO HC
COMIC BOOK TATTOO HC LTD ED
COMIC BOOK TATTOO SC

Nick: I’ve been thinking about getting one of these. It’s a tough choice though. The X-Men logo is sweet, don’t get me wrong, but a bit droll. I like the Avengers “A” in a circle with the arrow. I’m also partial to the screaming panther from Black Panther (look inside the Jack Kirby vol 1 TPB to see what I mean).

DEAD SPACE #5 (OF 6)
ELEPHANTMEN #13
IMAGE MONSTER PILE UP #1

Nick: Another title this week that could seriously deliver with a slight change and/or addition. May I suggest: “IMAGE MONSTER TRUCK PILE UP #1″

INVINCIBLE #51
LIBERTY COMICS A CBLDF BENEFIT BOOK (ONE SHOT)
MADMAN ATOMIC COMICS TP VOL 01
NOCTURNALS CARNIVAL OF BEASTS (ONE SHOT)
PROOF #10
SCUD THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN THE WHOLE SHEBANG HC
SCUD THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN THE WHOLE SHEBANG TP

Nick: Anyone else getting a Ricky Martin vibe from this title?

Neal: The rough and tumble life of a down and out young ICBM.

WAR HEROES #1
YOUNGBLOOD #4

MARVEL COMICS

ANGEL REVELATIONS #3 (OF 5)
ANITA BLAKE VH GUILTY PLEASURES HC VOL 02
ASTONISHING X-MEN #25 BERMEJO VAR
AVENGERS INITIATIVE #15 SI

Nick: Love this book! Can’t wait for this issue! 3-D Man was awesome in #14. Strawberries and pickles, super fans.

AVENGERS INVADERS #1 DIRECTORS CUT
BLACK PANTHER #38

Nick: Is this the Jason Aaron issue? No, I think we have one more to go. I have to say that for how bad this arc started off, it has really turned itself around. It’s pretty damn good, actually.

DAREDEVIL #109
HALO UPRISING MUST HAVE

Nick: You know, I’m actually thinking about getting this. Seriously. Hey, why are you laughing?

IMMORTAL IRON FIST #17
IMMORTAL IRON FIST #17 AJA VAR
IMMORTAL IRON FIST #17 DRAGON LOGO VAR
INCREDIBLE HERCULES #118 2ND PTG SANDOVAL VAR
KITTY PRYDE AND WOLVERINE PREM HC
KITTY PRYDE AND WOLVERINE PREM HC DM ED
MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR #38
MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 09 DIGEST
MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #1

Nick: I’m truly looking forward to this issue. The FCBD preview issue was excellent.

MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #11
MINI MARVELS TP VOL 01 ROCK PAPER SCISSORS DIGEST

Nick: If only this was full of new Mini Marvels material, I would SOOOO be all over this.

MMW GOLDEN AGE CAPTAIN AMERICA HC VOL 02
MMW GOLDEN AGE CAPTAIN AMERICA HC VOL 02 VAR ED 99
NEW AVENGERS #43 SI
NEW WARRIORS #14 SI
SHE-HULK 2 #31 SI
SKRULLS ONE-SHOT SI
THUNDERBOLTS #122 SI

Nick: Anyone noticing a theme here with Marvel’s books this week? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I’m thinking it has something to do with a hush-hush infiltration…

ULTIMATE X-MEN #96
UNCANNY X-MEN #500 DODSON SKETCH VAR
UNCANNY X-MEN #500 DODSON VAR
UNCANNY X-MEN #500 MD
UNCANNY X-MEN #500 TURNER SKETCH VAR
UNCANNY X-MEN #500 TURNER VAR

Nick: Sadly, no one responded to my AudioShocker offer to have an Uncanny X-Men #500 release party. LAME!

UNCANNY X-MEN 500 ISSUES POSTERBOOK
UNCANNY X-MEN GREG LAND PANORAMA POSTER
WOLVERINE #66 2ND PTG MCNIVEN VAR
WOLVERINE FIRST CLASS #5
X-MEN LEGACY #214

Nick: I LOOOOVE this series. Wow. All my favorite MU books are out on the same day: Legacy, BP, and ATI. Damn.

X-MEN TP ENDANGERED SPECIES

COMICS

2000 AD #1593
2000 AD #1594
A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #85

Nick: Now we’re talking. How come my comic shop never carries these titles?

ALDEBARAN TP VOL 01 CATASTROPHE
ANNA MERCURY #1 (OF 5) NYCC ED
ANNA MERCURY #2 (OF 5) AUXILIARY ED
AP HOW TO DRAW MANGA PKT MANGA TP VOL 01
APOCALIPSTIX VOL 1 GN

Neal: Demon cosmetics. There will be lots of images of bleeding whales.

ARCHIE #587
AVALON WEB OF MAGIC NOVEL VOL 04 SECRET O/T UNICORN

Nick: Totally awesome title. I’m not gonna lie. I wanna know the secret of the unicorn. Don’t you?

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA ORIGINS #8
BEST OF THE WEST #68
BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #186

Nick: This title is so suspenseful! What are they digesting? I have to know!

BETTY & VERONICA SPECTACULAR #84
BLACK SUMMER #7
BLACK SUMMER #7 WRAP CVR
BLACK SUMMER #7 ZOMBIES CVR
BLOOD BOWL #2 (OF 5) KILLER CONTRACT CVR A
BLOOD BOWL #2 (OF 5) KILLER CONTRACT CVR B

Neal: God damn it. When did Games Workshop totally sell out?

BOY WHO MADE SILENCE #5

Nick: The epic irritable bowl syndrome (IBS) indie comic continues.

Neal: Obviously about a kid with killer gas.

BRAINFAG FOREVER GN

Neal: Must. Resist. Jokes.

CAPTAIN ACTION FIRST MISSION LAST DAY ONE SHOT

Nick: Your oxymoron for the week. Not as oxymoronic as usual, though.

CHERRY COLL VOL 3 TP
COMPLETE BADGER TP VOL 03
COMPLETE METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY HC
COMPLETE METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY TP
COMPLETE POPBOT TP

Nick: Again, I’m sensing some sort of theme this week. It’s subtle, but I think it has something to do with totality…

DAN DARE #7 (OF 7)
DEVICE SC VOL 01
DF WOLVERINE #66 EX ALT SGN CVR
DOKTOR SLEEPLESS #6 MAD SCIENCE ED
DRAGONLANCE TP VOL 04 DRAGONS SPRING DAWNING 2
DYING OF THIRST HC
FALL OF CTHULHU #14 CVR A
FALL OF CTHULHU #14 CVR B
FALLEN ANGEL IDW #28
FLIGHT GN VOL 05
FORGOTTEN REALMS DARK ELF TRILOGY TP VOL 01 HOMELAND

Nick: Man, even elves have to put up with Homeland Security scare tactics too? It’s truly a sad time for our fantasy friends.

FUTURAMA COMICS #38
GEARZ #1
GIRL GENIUS TP VOL 07 AGATHA & VOICE O/T CASTLE

Neal: This comic book is actually kind of cool. Check it out online.

GLAMOURPUSS #2
GOLD DIGGER #98
GOLD DIGGER SOURCEBOOK #19
GOLD DIGGER TIFFANY & CHARLOTTE #2 (OF 4)
GRAVEL #0 CON ED
GRAVEL #1 WIZARD WORLD LA ED
GRAVEL #2 AUXILIARY ED
GRAVEL #3
GRAVEL #3 WRAP CVR
GRIMM FAIRY TALES PIPER #4 (OF 4)
GRIMM FAIRY TALES SPECIAL PHOTO COVER COLL ED #2
HACK SLASH ANNUAL SUICIDE GIRLS CARDSTOCK CVR
HACK SLASH ANNUAL SUICIDE GIRLS REG CVR
HOVERBOY ONE SHOT
HOW TO LOVE HC
INSANE JANE #4 (OF 4)
JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #142

Nick: Yet again, I have to know what’s passing through this guy’s intestines. This title is such a tease!

KORGI GN VOL 02 COSMIC COLLECTOR
LAND OF OZ MANGA #1 (OF 8) REG CVR
LAND OF OZ MANGA #1 (OF 8) WRAP CVR

Nick: Oooo, interesting. I’m trying real hard to find manga I like. This looks tempting.

LUCKY LUKE TP VOL 11 WESTERN CIRCUS
MAINTENANCE TP VOL 03
MERCENARIES TP VOL 01
NEGATIVE BURN #21
N-GUARD #1
NHS SHIDOSHI PKT MANGA TP VOL 03
NIGHT & FOG #2 (OF 4)
OUR GANG SC VOL 03
PASTEL GN VOL 11
PISTOLFIST #1 (OF 4)

Nick: Making a pistolfist is an excellent way to shoot a rubber band at someone. Go on, give it a try.

Neal: Is this like the Gunblade and the other assorted weapons that Squaresoft comes up with? Lame.

PROJECT KALKI #3 (OF 4)
RAY HARRYHAUSEN FLYING SAUCERS VS EARTH #3 (OF 4)
RAY HARRYHAUSEN PRESENTS BACK MYSTERIOUS ISLE #1
RED SONJA TP VOL 04
RETURN OF THE SUPER PIMPS #5 (OF 6)

Nick: WHAT?! How did I miss four issues of this series already?

Neal: “Super-Bitch, you best have my Kryptonite!”

ROD ESPINOSA PRINCE OF HEROES TP CHAPTER 01
SCARLETTS CURSE TP
SCHOOL RUMBLE GN VOL 10
SCOUT TP VOL 02
SHMOBOTS TP

Nick: HA! Good title.

SIMPSONS CLASSICS #17
SNAKEPIT TP VOL 02 MY LIFE IN A JUGULAR VEIN
SNAKEPIT TP VOL 03 2007
SONIC X #35
SPARKS #2 (OF 8)

Neal: Does this come with a free sample? Sparks totally turns you into a pirate.

SPOOKS TP VOL 01
STAR TREK NEW FRONTIER #5
STARSHIP TROOPERS #9
STRANDED TP VOL 01

Nick: The tragic story of my brain as I sat in the movie theater and watched The Dark Knight.

STRAW MEN #1 (OF 12)
STREETS OF GLORY #1-5 BAG SET
TALES OF TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #48

Nick: Ahh, yes. My favorite series returns for its second July issue.

TERMINATOR INFINITY TP VOL 01
TETRAGRAMMATON GN VOL 03 LABYRINTH
THICKER THAN BLOOD #2 (OF 3)
THIRTEEN STEPS TP VOL 01
TRAGIC TALE OF TURKEY BOY AN AMERICAN LOVE STORY GN

Nick: Let me take a stab at the tragic ending: Turkey Boy gets eaten.

TREASURY VICTORIAN MURDER SC VOL 07
TSUBASA GN VOL 18
WARHAMMER 40K EXTERMINATUS #1 (OF 5) CVR A
WARHAMMER 40K EXTERMINATUS #1 (OF 5) CVR B
WARHAMMER CONDEMNED BY FIRE #3 (OF 5) CVR A
WARHAMMER CONDEMNED BY FIRE #3 (OF 5) CVR B
WASTELAND #19

Nick: This issue’s story takes place in the near future… exactly one week from now in San Diego, CA.

Neal: No, this book chronicles my life in Peoria.

WORLD WAR ROBOT TP
WORLDS OF HP LOVECRAFT TP VOL 01
YAM TP

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Superhero movie franchises have been lucky in that their sequels often eclipse their first outings. And The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins. But certainly not “biggest opening weekend of all-time” better.

The Batsuit. In ten years, that stiff Batsuit will be almost as laughable as Batnipples on George Clooney.

The Batvoice. “Hey Christian,” Nolan says to the film’s star, “I want you to give me a husky whisper that sounds like you just gargled with whisky and Clorox. And make sure it sounds like @#$%.”

Organized crime in Gotham City. It’s strangely segregated and full of stereotypes. When the Russian, Italian, and black mobsters held a joint meeting with a Chinese corporate criminal, I cringed throughout the whole scene. Most of white characters were stereotyped heavily too — they were all righteous control freaks that went mad with power (from Batman to Harvey Dent to Jim Gordon to even the Joker).

Rachel Dawes. She’s was as stiff as the Batsuit and a total snoozefest.

Excessive runtime. I was ready for The Dark Knight to be over after an hour and a half. To my surprise, I still had AN HOUR TO GO. I would have preferred a “Previously in The Dark Knight…” showing a quick montage of the boring @#$% from the first half of the film, and then BAM! the movie actually starts in as the Joker busts out of jail.

When did Batman stop being fun? Both The Dark Knight and its predecessor are stalwarts of the serious. They struggle to remove any and all camp from the concept of Bruce Wayne and his billionaire’s hobby of crime fighting. C’mon, the guy dresses up like a freakin’ bat! He punches a psychotic clown in the face for fun! Batman is naturally campy. And that’s not a bad thing.

To all the people who produced The Dark Knight and to all those who celebrated its “realistic” qualities while overlooking the fact that the movie was largely devoid of smiles, laughter, and fun:

Why so serious?

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Jonas Brothers - Burnin Up (Live)
OMFG it’s Hanson! No wait, it’s a non-girl-looking version of Hanson that wishes it was Maroon 5. As usual, this live performance is kind of half-assed. Watch the real video instead. It’s stupid, but Danny Trejo is in it for like 3 seconds. That dude is awesome.

Nelly - Body On Me
Uhm… Did Nelly and Ashanti get back together? Am I that out of the loop? Didn’t he crush her and she was doing late night drivebys or something? Either way, this is a pretty low impact video. Akon’s voice is nearly tolerable for once too. Nothing special or even that flashy here. Surprising considering the whole thing takes place in a casino.

Shwayze - Corona and Lime
I won’t comment on how ridiculous Shwayze is as a concept. You can read the artist bio yourself. The video is funny enough though. It’s a little California Girls and a little Weird Al. That said, these have to be the whitest and least freaky deaky ‘video-hos’ ever. You could take this video home to mama or show it to your 8 year old.

Slipknot - Psycho Social
All I know about Slipknot is that they have a lot of drummers and they like masks. Both were present and I think I saw a tympany too. There is some stuff on fire - giant paper mache heads I believe. Who writes the treatments for these videos? If I were a record label exec I would be thinking, “My toddler’s nightmares are more creative than this.”

Lesley Roy - I’m Gone, I’m Going
Only two words to describe this: CHUBRIL LAVIGNE.

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9. Blob - Would you want to get stuck in this man’s folds? I don’t think so. Last thing I would want is to be smothered by Fred Duke’s fat.

8. Morlun - I’ve never been more afraid for the safety of a superhero than when Morlun showed up in Amazing Spider-Man and beat the snot out of Spidey.

7. Mystique - A terrorist sociopath that can change her appearance at will. She’s intelligent, cunning, violent, and amoral.

6. Sabretooth - Every year, Sabretooth hunts Wolverine down and beats him within an inch of his life. Then Victor Creed goes off and murders someone Wolvie loves.

5. Venom - Now that Mac Gargan bites off limbs and other body parts from other people when he gets hungry, I’m feeling pretty intimidated.

4. Magneto - I fear Magneto’s deep convictions. He has the will and physical power to act upon whatever he believes to be right (even if it means death and destruction).

3. Cassandra Nova - Charles Xavier strangled his twin sister to death in the womb, but she survived. Then she savagely massacred 16 million mutants using Sentinels assembled from pieces of scrap.

2. Joker - One minute he could be laughing with you and the next minute he could be torturing you to death. Plus, he enjoys it when Batman beats his face in.

1. Doctor Doom - Victor Von Doom is a mad scientist monarch that’s a true master of robotics and disguise (via his Doombots). He’s violent, deceptive, and brilliant. Plus, he’s into magic and he can time travel.

Common themes? Five out of nine villains predominantly tangle with the X-Men. Though I was raised on X-Men comics (and Marvel Comics, for that matter), that was a bit of a surprise to me. There’s also quite a lack of DC Comics supervillains, not to mention characters from other comic book publishers (Shredder, maybe).

Next: The Top 9 Least Intimidating Supervillains!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is a better number. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

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It is with this same level of personal duty or dharma, that I bring you my mobile review. As per the usual, 160 characters or less and typed out to Nick with a quickness known only to Jay Garrick and his successors.

Now that’s what im talking about! dent and joker were well cast. twoface makeup is wacker than batman’s voice though. brutal film. savage.

Tuesday’s podcast will be heavily focused on The Dark Knight. I hope that isn’t a problem.

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The Track: When I realized this was the track from the Verizon commercial I’ve seen at the movies for the last 2 months, I almost shut it off. But I lingered. It turns out the worst part of the song is that keyboard intro before the bass really drops in. The beat is courtesy of The Runaways and not Timbaland. No guest verse, no vocoder, no screechy notes, no skits, no dance breakdown, none of that stuff. It is listenable, and so far, I haven’t noticed the severely flawed logic present in other current hits such as Danity Kane’s Damaged. Love it or hate it - prepare to hear this in the club all effing summer long.

The Video: Whoever wrote the treatment for this video watches a lot of HBO. This is Million Dollar Baby meets Flashdance meets The Pussy Cat Dolls. Confused? There is boxing, a wardrobe stolen from Jennifer Beals’ closet, and wet hair / dancing that reminds me of Nicole Scherzinger. Perhaps she rubbed off on Keri during the Scream shoot?

It probably went something like this: Ok, We’ll dress up Keri in something totally backdrop-inappropriate and she will alternatively spar and makeout with her trainer; he must have tattoos. Oh - she knocks some other chick out too, and at the end she gets ugly highlights and leaves.

Keri’s silver tapsuit (is that what it’s called?) is as ridiculous as her interpretive dancing/voguing, and I swear I saw some Happy Hands Club choreography in there. It was kind of hard to watch this without wanting to laugh. Hilson does look good and is clearly doing the damn thing, but I’m not sold.

The Bottom line: Energy is better heard and not seen.

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It took me from Saturday to Monday to get the old podcasts back up, but I was glad. Why? Along with making some minor file naming changes, I was able to remaster two of our favorite comic book creator interviews in the process:

• Our 2-plus-hour talk with Ross Campbell, creator of Wet Moon and Water Baby, has been remastered. Ross is finishing up Wet Moon 4 as we speak, and we should have him back on our show very soon.
• I also remastered our chat with Brandon Thomas, creator of Miranda Mercury and writer of Ambidextrous. This episode was originally a bit rough in terms of levels, but that’s all been fixed.

But I’m not just writing this post about tech issues and old episodes. I’m also here to let you know about two new regular contributors who have joined the AudioShocker:

• First up is Shannon, our new books expert, who has already written two fantastic posts for the blog.
• Next up is Conrad, who is currently podcasting with me about the AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Movies list. The next episode of this series will be up on Friday, July 18, 2008.

Finally, I’m going to be rolling out a new feature on the AudioShocker starting this Sunday, July 20, 2008. It’s basically going to be the “AudioShocker Song of the Week.” Everything we post will be originally music by artists like Nik Furious, the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law (UAL), Dirty Weekend, Nutsack Supernova, and more. This Sunday will debut a new Nik Furious beat for the upcoming UAL album.

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DARK HORSE COMICS

CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #1

Nick: On a serious note, this is fantastic timing by Dark Horse. The new Conan movie teaser poster was just released (presumably due to some sort of secret promotion / announcement at SDCC next week) and now there’s a brand new Conan #1 on the stands. Nothing funny here — just good business.

GHOST TALKERS DAYDREAM TP VOL 01
HELM #1 (OF 4)

DC COMICS

ASTRO CITY THE DARK AGE HC BOOK 01
BATGIRL #1 (OF 6)
BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #9
BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE STATUE NEAL ADAMS
BATMAN FACES NEW ED TP

Nick: I’m not sure who this “New Ed” character is but I hope he’s a formidable foe for Batman…

BIRDS OF PREY #120
CARTOON NETWORK ACTION PACK #27

Nick: Misprint by Diamond. Should read: “CARTOON NETWORK SIX-PACK #27″

CASEY BLUE BEYOND TOMORROW #3 (OF 6)
CHECKMATE #28
COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS TP VOL 02
DARK KNIGHT BATMAN STATUE
DARK KNIGHT THE JOKER STATUE
DC WILDSTORM DREAMWAR #4 (OF 6)
DOROTHEA VOL 02
FINAL CRISIS ROGUES REVENGE #1 (OF 3)
FLASH #242
HELLBLAZER #246
I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE VOL 05

Nick: Volume five of my epic autobiography has arrived.

JOKERS ASYLUM POISON IVY #1
SCALPED #19

Nick: Nineteen issues deep and I still can’t believe that Head & Shoulders has a licensed series published by DC Comics.

SHOWCASE PRESENTS HAWKMAN TP VOL 02
SIMON DARK #10
SUPERMAN AND THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES HC
TANGENT SUPERMANS REIGN #5 (OF 12)
TEARS OF A LAMB VOL 03

Nick: You may be a bit confused by the title of this book because the first two volumes were titled “TEARS OF A CLOWN.” However, if you remember, the clown was killed off at the end of volume two after he got raped by Dr. Light. Ahh DCU continuity, I love you.

TINY TITANS #6
TRIALS OF SHAZAM TP VOL 02
TRINITY #7
WORLD OF WARCRAFT #9

IMAGE COMICS

BOMB QUEEN V #3 (OF 6)
CHARLATAN BALL #2
ELEPHANTMEN WAR TOYS TP VOL 01 NO SURRENDER

Nick: The Bush Administration makes their triumphant first appearance in an Image Comic. Now I’m not quite sure why they’re called “ELEPHANTMEN” (I’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks).

FRANK FRAZETTAS SWAMP DEMON (ONE SHOT)

Nick: I’m glad to see that Image Comics’ new line of fine liquors is launching with Frazetta’s infamous homebrew hooch recipe. It’s only one shot, so you won’t get drunk. But it still might get you buzzed with a name like “SWAMP DEMON.”

GODLAND #24
MICE TEMPLAR #5
PERHAPANAUTS #3
SCREAMLAND #5 (OF 5)
UNEARTHED CEMETERY BLUES TP VOL 01

MARVEL COMICS

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #566
CAPTAIN AMERICA #40
CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #2 2ND PTG KIRK VAR
FOOLKILLER WHITE ANGELS #1 (OF 5)
GHOST RIDER #25
HOWARD THE DUCK OMNIBUS
HOWARD THE DUCK OMNIBUS DM ED

Nick: I would kill for a forward written by George Lucas.

HULK WWH TP WARBOUND
INCREDIBLE HERCULES #119 SI
IRON MAN DIRECTOR OF SHIELD #31
KICK ASS #3 2ND PTG JRJR VAR

Nick: Misprint by Diamond. Should read: “KICK ASS #3 2ND PTG JAR JAR BINKS VAR”

MARVEL 1985 #3 (OF 6)
MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #26

Nick: My “haven’t read it yet but it should be good” pick of the week.

MARVEL ADVENTURES TWO-IN-ONE #13

Nick: This month in TWO-IN-ONE: Following on the red-hot heels of Last Defenders #5, Nighthawk and Iron Man in She-Hulk.

MARVEL ILLUSTRATED ILIAD #8 (OF 8)
MIGHTY AVENGERS #16 SI
MOON KNIGHT #20
MOON KNIGHT #20 DEODATO SKETCH VAR

Nick: Emuir Deodato musical variant issue. When you flip open the cover, it starts playing an acid jazz version of “Rhapsody in Blue.” (If you get this joke, leave a comment. I expect no comments.)

OMEGA UNKNOWN #10 (OF 10)
PUNISHER #59
PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL TP VOL 03 HUNTER HUNTED
SKAAR SON OF HULK #1 2ND PTG GARNEY VAR
SKAAR SON OF HULK #1 2ND PTG MOVIE VAR

Nick: Since there’s never been a Skaar movie, I’m just going to assume that this variant cover features a picture of Schwarzenegger as Conan and the Marvel Comics pre-press production team Photoshopped his skin green.

SKY DOLL #3 (OF 3)
SPIDER-MAN PREM HC VOL 02 BRAND NEW DAY
ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #56
ULTIMATE X-MEN TP VOL 18 APOCALYPSE
UNIVERSAL WAR ONE #1 (OF 3)
UNIVERSAL WAR ONE #1 (OF 3) US VAR
WAR IS HELL FIRST FLIGHT PHANTOM EAGLE MAX #5 (OF 5)
X-FACTOR #33 SI
X-FORCE #5 DWS

Nick: Everyone’s favorite violence porn comic returns with more X-man on X-man aggression. Check out this issue for the completely nonsensical return of Archangel.

COMICS

ADULT STAR STORIES FELECIA NUDE PHOTO CVR #1

Nick: Now here’s a title that sounds good.

AFTERBURN #4 (OF 4)
ALICE ON DEADLINES TP VOL 03
ANGEL AFTER THE FALL HC VOL 01
BANANA GAMES GN VOL 04 ONCE UPON A TIME PART 2

Nick: Obviously a tie-in to this week’s “ADULT STAR STORIES FELECIA.”

BIZENGHAST GN VOL 05 (OF 5)
BLUE GN
BROTHERS IN ARMS #2

Nick: Everyone’s favorite gay incest comic returns for a second issue. (Also a tie-in to this week’s “ADULT STAR STORIES FELECIA.”)

BUDDHA STORY OF ENLIGHTENMENT #4
BURN #3 (OF 6)
CASE CLOSED GN VOL 24
CHIBI VAMPIRE GN VOL 09 (OF 13)
DAEMONIUM GN VOL 01 (OF 3)

Nick: Whoa! Someone had the spell check turned off on Microsoft Word when they came up with this title…

DARK GOODBYE GN VOL 02 (OF 3)
DOCK WALLOPER TP VOL 01
DOMINION TP
DREAMLAND CHRONICLES IDW #1
EC ARCHIVES WEIRD SCIENCE HC VOL 03
ELEMENTAL GELADE GN VOL 08 (OF 13)

Nick: Misprint by Diamond. Should read: “ELEMENTAL KOOL-AID GN VOL 08″

ELLIE MAMAHARA ALLEY OF FIRST LOVE GN
FALLEN ANGEL TP VOL 05
FORGOTTEN REALMS THE LEGACY #3 (OF 3) ATKINS CVR A
FORGOTTEN REALMS THE LEGACY #3 (OF 3) WALPOLE CVR B
GI JOE AMERICAS ELITE TP VOL 05 WWIII OMNIBUS
GOBLIN CHRONICLES #3 (OF 3) FOGEL CVR A
GOBLIN CHRONICLES #3 (OF 3) SUITOR CVR B
GWAI #1 (OF 4)

Nick: I got all excited and then I realized that this isn’t the first issue of a four-part Gwar mini series.

HACK SLASH TP VOL 04 REVENGE OF THE RETURN
HELEN KILLER #3 (OF 4)
HOUDINI HANDCUFF KING SC

Nick: Another tie-in to this week’s “ADULT STAR STORIES FELECIA.”

KISS ALL THE BOYS GN VOL 02 (OF 3)

Nick: Yet another tie-in to this we– oh, forget it. You already know the joke.

LEAVES ONE SHOT (MR)
MARTIN & JOHN GN VOL 01 (OF 2)
METHOD MAN GN

Nick: I really want this to be good. Marvel Comics should talk to the Wu-Tang Clan about doing some sort of Marvel Knights set of miniseries. Imagine Iron Man written by Ghostface, Ghost Rider written by Method Man, etc. At least get them in to do some sort of plotting / supervision for an alternate reality project. If you ask me, I think they should give a month of “in continuity” books to Wu-Tang and let them plot out a crossover.

MIDARA GN NEW PTG
MISTER MISTRESS GN VOL 01 (OF 2)
NEPHILIM GN VOL 02 (OF 2)
NYE INCIDENTS TP
OH MY GOD GN VOL 01 (OF 2)
PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #123

Nick: A tie-in to this week’s “MARVEL ADVENTURES TWO-IN-ONE” (featuring hot She-Hulk action).

PLASTIC CHEW GN
PRETTY POISON GN
PRINCESS AI OF AI LAND
PSYCHIC POWER CHRONICLE NANAKI GN VOL 03 (OF 3)
RAMAYAN 3392 AD RELOADED #7 (OF 7)
REAL GN VOL 01
RISING STARS OF MANGA GN VOL 08 (OF 8)
ROADKILL ZOO GN

Nick: Wouldn’t it be hilarious if this was just a collection of real-life roadkill photos with sarcastic captions and wordballoons Photoshopped in?

ROLLING GN VOL 01 (OF 6)
ROSE HIP ROSE GN VOL 02 (OF 4)
RUROUNI KENSHIN VIZBIG ED GN VOL 03 (OF 9)
SABRINA VOL 2 #95
SAMURAI DEEPER KYO GN VOL 29 (OF 38)

Nick: Misprint by Diamond. Should read: “SAMURAI DEEPER KY GN VOL 29″ (And an obvious tie-in to this week’s “MARVEL ADVENTURES TWO-IN-ONE” because they’re definitely going to need lube.)

SCREAM QUEEN #2 (OF 5)
SECRET INVASION WHO DO YOU TRUST WWC SKETCH VAR
SEDUCTION MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN LOVE GN VOL 02 (OF 5)
SHOJO BEAT AUGUST 08
SILVER DIAMOND GN VOL 01

Nick: Your oxymoron for the week.

SIMPSONS COMICS #144
SOULFIRE CHAOS REIGN TP
SPARROW BOXED SET
SPIKE AFTER THE FALL #1 (OF 4)
SPIRAL BONDS OF REASONING TP VOL 04
STAR TREK MANGA GN VOL 03 (OF 3) UCHU
SUZUNARI GN VOL 01
TABOO DISTRICT GN
TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #29
TALES OF PENANCE TRIAL O/T CENTURY #1 (OF 4)
TANK GIRL VISIONS OF BOOGA #3

Nick: Damn! Diamond is misprinting up a storm. Should read: “TANK GIRL VISIONS OF BOOGERS #3″

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE TP VOL 06 PX LTD ED
TIKI JOE MYSTERIES TP VOL 01 HIGH STAKES PATSEY
TOKKO GN VOL 01
TRANSFORMERS MOVIE SEQUEL REIGN OF STARSCREAM #3
TRANSFORMERS SPOTLIGHT HARDHEAD
VASSALORD GN VOL 01 (OF 2)

Nick: A tie-in to this week’s “SAMURAI DEEPER KY GN VOL 29″ — Nighthawk and Iron Man have to hit up their magical (and slippery) friend when the KY just doesn’t seem to do the trick for Jen Walter’s gamma-irradiated vagina.

VOLTRON A LEGEND FORGED #1
VOLTRON A LEGEND FORGED #1 PX FOIL CVR
WORLDS OF DUNGEONS & DRAGONS TP VOL 01
YOUR AND MY SECRET GN VOL 02 (OF 4)
ZMD ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION #1 (OF 6)

Nick: Well would ya look at that?! The Bush Administration makes it into two comics this week!

ZORRO #5

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Meyer found fame five years ago, with the first installment of her vampire saga, Twilight. I remember hearing about her books, which were becoming immensely popular, several years ago, but I never picked one up, since they were targeted to a teen audience. Then last summer she published Eclipse, the third book in the Twilight series, and it knocked Harry Potter out of the number one best-seller spot.

This week, Entertainment Weekly’s cover featured the actors who will star in the movie adaptation of the Twilight series, and I decided to read the article. There were a few sentences about The Host, saying it was her first adult novel and is a blend of science fiction and romance. Oh, yeah, it also sold for $600,000 at auction and debuted at No. 1. Which means that Meyer is a rockstar in the literary world.

I haven’t read science fiction in a very long time, not since I fell in love with The Giver and A Wrinkle in Time when I was young, and I am happy that Meyer renewed my interest. The Host is interesting, thoughtful, and wildly imaginative. Unlike a lot of what I read, where my facination with the characters generates my interest in the novel’s plot, the plot of this novel is making me interested in the characters. Which is so refreshing. Reading something where the plot is so crazily inventive is a great change of pace from character study (though that is defintely not to say that Meyer doesn’t have an equally insightful take on what, literally, makes up the human soul. In this book, alien “souls” take possession of human, plant, and animal “host” bodies. The “soul” that is the focus of the book can’t subdue the mind of the human body it has possessed).

I’m only about 100 pages in, and I’m happy there are 500 more to go. If Meyer can create a dynamic, crisp, intricate world in the first sliver of her book, I can’t wait to see where she goes from here.

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Sara Bareilles may have a strong nose, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing and her music is accessible - which I like in my female vocalists. She writes songs that aren’t atrocious, spiked with vocoder, or full of the screechy notes that R&B divas are infatuated with.

Aimee Mann’s music is like Valium, and that combined with a shot of Jack Daniels is how I get through winter. Thanks Chris, (my roommate from freshman year) for introducing me.

Fiona Apple recorded the best music she ever would when she was 16, but it took me till I was 25 to realize it. That record gets a lot of play according to my iTunes stats. Fiona is sort of the antithesis of a PPG but that pout is pretty attractive.

And Regina! Regina Spektor is too cute for words and it’s disarming. One minute you’re listening to these sweet love songs and then BAM! she’s cursing like a sailor, singing about about ODing, and belting out funny ditties about people fucking to her music.

The conversation ended pretty abruptly since Ro was busy last week, but you get the point. Female vocalists and particularly those who play the piano, (do you play Aimee?), rank pretty high in my book. My friend Evan came to the same conclusion a year or two before I did and he won’t let me forget it.

Cute Female Vocalist, I’d love to help you warm up before the show. Don’t get it? How about this: I’d like to stick it to you.

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