Archive for the 'The Top 9' Category

The top 9 movies I like that make people give me the "You like that?" face

You know that face, right? You're all like "Oh, that was great!" and then someone else is like "You like that?" and they give you that look of shock, confusion, and disgust.

Well, I get that look a lot more than others. So here's a short list of movies that ellicit that response the most.

9. Soul Plane. Everyone I show this to agrees with me -- this movie is good.

8. Music and Lyrics. In general, I enjoy most Hugh Grant movies.

7. My Bloody Valentine. It was awesome in 3D, okay?

6. G-Force. This was also pretty awesome in 3D.

5. Muppets from Space. I think this is the best Muppet film out there, if not the best film out there.

4. Drag Me to Hell. Don't get it twisted -- this is a comedy movie.

3. Street Fighter. Again, you gotta rememeber that this is a comedy.

2. Balls of Fury. This too is a comedy movie. And a damn good one.

1. The Ladies Man. So many people thumb their nose at this and they've never seen it! Give it a chance. It's hilarious.

P.S. The Back Issue Binge is going to become a non-weekly, whenever-it's-fun-and-easy-to-meet-up sort of thing. I'll try and let you know ahead of time when it's gonna show up.

The Top 9 Best Black Panther Tales, pt 2

In part one, I detailed #9-5 of my Top 9 favorite Black Panther tails tales. This week, the stunning conclusion is upon us!

As I mentioned last time, this list was originally a submission to The Greatest Black Panther Stories Ever Told contest on the Comics Should be Good! blog (see their top 10 choices for best BP stories).

As I also mentioned, my selections for #5-1 are all classic and almost all... old, one could even claim. Maybe I'm just a classic sort of guy, ya know? Or maybe -- just maybe -- the greatest T'Challa tales just happen to be in the earlier days of the character.

05. "The Client" - Black Panther v3 #1-5 (Christopher Priest left a HUGE mark on the Panther's legacy, and it all began with this clever story arc. While I love Priest's work, his BP stories -- oddly enough -- are not my favorite of his or of the character's. But I think this is his best work with T'Challa, if only because it redefined the character for a modern audience and established an enduring status quo in terms of attitude and Wakandan culture.)

04. "Panther's Rage" - Jungle Action #6-18 (Don McGregor, Rich Buckler, and Billy Graham created what I think is safe to call the most single riveting and intense Black Panther epic in the form of Panther's Rage. It's not as much fun as Kirby's solo issues or as awe-inspiring as the Sons of the Serpent arc from Avengers, but it's amazing in its sheer length of narrative -- somewhere around 200 pages of continuous story, something which was basically unheard of at 70s Marvel. I know a lot of critics have espoused the virtues of this tale, as well as creators (Dwayne McDuffie, for example). Suffice to say I agree with them all. It's awesome.)

03. "Black Panther vs. the Sons of the Serpent" - Avengers v1 #73-74 (Roy Thomas writes a masterful two-part Avengers tale with a focus on T'Challa and his battle against the supremacist group, the Sons of the Serpent. It's one of the few BP stories that I feel successfully deals with discrimination and prejudice. However, more importantly, it's expertly crafted and exciting from start to finish. The real clincher here is #73, with pencils by Frank Giacoia. Frank is best known as an inker, but his rare turn on superhero pencils is gorgeous. Need evidence? Look no further than page 18 of #73, where BP stalks New York City at night. It's an incredible montage well ahead of its time in terms of tone and layout.)

02. "King Solomon's Frog" - Black Panther v1 #1-4 (This is a bit easier to delineate than the "Water Skin" story arc if only because it has a more distinct conclusion. These four issues fill the first half of Marvel's BP vol 1 TPB by Kirby. This arc comes second in my list of favorites because it displays the genius of Kirby's original Panther concept, while taking things to the next level of action and excitement. While BP's origin in FF #52 was fun, it wasn't as thrilling as this. Before there was Indiana Jones, there was Jack Kirby's Black Panther!)

01. "Quest for the Sacred Water Skin" - Black Panther v1 #5-7 (Sometimes it's tough to draw lines between story arcs in 60s/70s Marvel, but I've decided to lump these three issues together as an arc because they deal with the over-arching theme of T'Challa's quest to find the sacred water skin hidden in the secret City of Lost Samurai. These issues are included as the second half of Marvel's BP vol 1 TPB by Kirby. Why my top choice? Because they're simply amazing. The art, the writing, and everything about them makes for an incredible read. BP versus the Yeti. BP versus the ancient Samurai code. BP and Mister Little escape from a horde of enraged katana wielders! Too bad that few BP writers since this time have capitalized on the exciting tone Kirby displayed in this short story arc.)

That's it! Hope you liked my choices. If not, write your own in the comments.

Be back here next week for the non-Top 9 start of something very special -- Project: Basement!

The Top 9 Best Black Panther Tales, pt 1

Ch-ch-check it! This list was actually created as a submission to The Greatest Black Panther Stories Ever Told contest over on the Comics Should be Good! blog (see their top 10 choices for best BP stories).

However, since I wrote such a grand set of justifications for my choices, I thought I'd share them as a two-part The Top 9!

Oddly enough, all the choices on this first part of the list are fairly modern, whilst all of my part two selections lean towards the classic. Coincidence or conspiracy? You be the judge!

Honorable Mention: "Enemy of the State" - Black Panther v3 #6-12 (Honestly, I don't LOVE these issues like my other choices. But I do think they're important. Why? Because they took the tone established in Christopher Priest's first BP story arc and spun it into Marvel Universe reality. The revelation that Panther joined the Avengers to spy on them is twisted and hard to stomach, but it's also fascinating. While I wouldn't recommend these issues to anyone as their first Panther read, I do feel they're great for die-hard fans.)

09. "Two the Hard Way" - Black Panther v4 #10-11 (Okay, look, there are a lot of problems with Reggie Hudlin's take on the Black Panther. But these two BP-Cage team-up issues are just plain fun. Read and enjoy! There's nothing else to it.)

08. "See Wakanda and Die" - Black Panther v4 #39-41 (Eerie, disturbing, and thrilling, Jason Aaron and Jefte Palo deliver this stunning T'Challa tale as a tie-in to the Secret Invasion event. It's hard to put into words how gripping this quick story arc is... it's one of the most morbid BP tales I can think of, and definitely puts a somber end to the more happy-go-lucky Black Panther v4 series. The art is beautiful, the writing is smart, and the characters are endearing. But not TOO endearing. Black Panther and Storm become savage defenders of Wakanda who almost seem more fit for a Marvel MAX book than this mostly all-ages BP series.)

07. "Reconstruction" - Fantastic Four v1 #544-550 (This seven-part story is often overlooked by many fans, partly because it fell under the far-too-broad Initiative banner, and partly because it was a temporary dismantling of the classic Fantastic Four lineup. But that's what makes this Dwanye McDuffie, Paul Pelletier, and Rick Magyar story so much fun! BP essentially becomes the interim leader of the FF for this story arc and leads them on a massive cosmic journey. It's a rare chance to see BP rely on others in such a serious way. It's also an opportunity to see the great Dwayne McDuffie deliver his take on the Wakandan hero. Overall, I think this is the most underrated set of issues on this list. If you like big cosmic action AND the Black Panther, then you'll dig this.)

06. "World Tour" - Black Panther v4 #19-22 (T'Challa and Storm decide to spend their honeymoon by crisscrossing the globe and making alliances with other powerful Marvel characters in light of the impending events of Civil War. This story arc actually got split as a post-wedding tale and a Civil War tie-in in terms of branding and TPBs, but if you look at the issues, it's really one four-part arc. It's Hudlin at his best with T'Challa, making him clever, diplomatic, and dignified. Manuel Garcia turns in some INCREDIBLE art work that blew my mind back when I first read this story. I know Hudlin has his detractors, but even the biggest haters would be hard-pressed to hate this entire tale. Really, the only flaw is the uneven Doom characterization in #19, which is fairly negligible in my opinion.)

Be back next week for part 2 a.k.a. the thrilling continuation to The Top 9 Greatest Black Panther Tales!!!

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The top 9 simple steps to making your own podcast from scratch

Recently, someone asked me to tell their friend how to start a podcast from scratch -- this person had no website, no content, no audio editing program, and no nothing except for the desire to podcast. If you find that you're in that same situation, then here's what I suggest:

9. To share your podcast online, you either need to get a webspace hosting plan or start a Libsyn (or other pay-for-podcasting) account. Personally, I recommend that you get a hosting plan, start a WordPress powered blog, and install the podPress plugin to broadcast your audio.

8. Get a USB mic or use your computer's built-in microphone.

7. To record your audio and edit stuff together, use Audacity.

6. In Audacity's "Preferences," make sure you're recording in mono. File size will be an issue down the line, and recording in mono will help keep the size down. (BTW, unless you're doing video, never record at 48.000 kHz -- always 44.100 kHz!!!)

5. For some compression and editing tips if you're using a Mac, check out my Podcast Pointers: Taking the Noise Out blog post. If you're on a PC, it's not quite as easy. SORRY! (But I do love the "Hard Limiter" effect for basic compression in the PC version of Audacity -- hope that helps.)

4. Export the edited audio out of Audacity as a .WAV or .AIF file and import it into iTunes.

3. In iTunes, set your "Import Settings" in "Preferences" to convert the imported audio into an mp3. Since podcasts normally run long and create large files, you have to make sure that the audio file isn't too huge. I suggest using mp3 settings of 80 kbs / 22.050 kHz / stereo channels / joint stereo mode / no smart encoding adjustments. (The joint stereo setting is important because it condenses the file size where possible!)

2. To get the audio file onto your webspace, you should probably use an FTP program (though some services will also offer the option to upload the audio for you -- just remember that the file may take some time to upload!). For FTP, I recommend using Filezilla. FTP is, of course, it's own beast if you've never used it before, but it's not that hard and there are tons of tutorials that can help you.

1. Anyway, there's A LOT more to it than that, but those are the basics. As a final step, I recommend that you look up some more tutorials to fine tune your podcasting experience. I have a somewhat-tutorial of my own on Google Knol called Creating a Podcast. Good luck and feel free to shoot me an email if you need any podcasting advice!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = podcasting is for lovers.

The Top 9 Rock Guitarists (According to Nick Marino, Not Scott Mervis)

All I gotta say is, "Sorry Scotty, I disagree."

9. José Luis Pardo

8. Dennis Coffey

7. Roger Troutman

6. Ray Parker, Jr.

5. Ron Wood

4. Ernie Isley

3. Eddie Van Halen

2. Steve Cropper

1. Jimi Hendrix

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = SWEET RIFF, DUDE!

The top 9 REAL reasons why Teabaggers hate Captain America

Teabaggers (*snicker*) don't really hate Captain America for using one of their own signs in his comic book. I mean, that would just be stupid AND hypocritical, right?

Here are the REAL reasons Teabaggers (I can't believe they actually call themselves that!) hate Captain America and always will:

9. Captain America drinks coffee, not tea.

8. On occassion, his comic book is written by radical left-wing super-liberals.

7. He was dead for the past couple years and missed the whole Sarah Palin thing.

6. His superhero partner is (or at least WAS) a social worker. HARLEM PORK BARREL POLITICS!

5. Captain America ran for president AND he watched Nixon kill himself.

4. There's a good chance that the A on his forehead actually stands for "frAnce."

3. His on-again/off-again Federal salary is just another example of out-of-control government spending.

2. That 90s Captain America movie totally sucked.

1. His shield is a circle, the same symbol liberals, gays, and cartoon lions use to describe life.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Patriotic

The top 9 sports that need to be added to the Olympics

Honorable mention to Bloody Knuckles. It's fun, but not quite sporting enough to be Olympic yet.

9. Thumb Wrestling - This is a true art and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's a game of psychological cunning and digit dexterity. Imagine the awesome closeups that'd be necessary to show this sport on TV. Riviting!

8. Chess - You would think this game of ultimate strategy would be part of the Olympic lineup, but, alas, it's been shunned. Looks like the World Chess Federation isn't nearly as methodical and plotting as they need to be if they can't even get a spot up there next to curling.

7. Cornhole - This is the youngest of these new age Olympic contenders. Frankly, this sport is probably way too frat house and tailgate right now for the Olympics, but it could ripe for the gaming.

6. Darts - Darts is to archery as ping pong is to tennis. So why not let darts go Olympic? Plus, this would actually be fun to watch on TV, I bet.

5. Billiards - It's the sport of hustlers and boring weird old people alike. Everyone from the toughest to the dorkiest can play billiards, thus making this potential Olympic competition rather interesting.

4. Butts Up - The ultimate "don't fuck it up!" schoolyard game. It's sort of like handball mixed with execution by firing squad.

3. Pillow Fighting - Is there anyone out there who hasn't had a pillow fight or some sort of equivalent battle? This might just be the most universal of all games; the ultimate lowest common denominator of sports. Plus, I think it'd be fun if there was a "slumber party" theme to the uniforms.

2. Bowling - Believe it or not, bowling isn't an offical Olympic sport. It's been a "demonstration sport," meaning it's often exhbited at the Olympic Games, but never for a medal.

1. Beer Pong - Shit, if the beer's the problem, then just call it cup pong or something else. Anyway, thanks to the USA being home to college students from across the Earth, imagine how many people the world over are now champions of this international sport??? Of course, it would be controversial... but that might actually cause people to watch the Olympics out of interest instead of "there's nothing else on TV" boredom.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Olympic

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The Top 9 Super Bowl XLIV TV Commercials

Honorable mentions to Bud Light: "Lost" island party and Emerald Nuts and Pop Secret: "let's get aquatic". Now here's your Super Bowl 44 advertising champions!

9. Motorola: Megan Fox bathing

8. Doritos: "keep your hands off my momma"

7. Kia Sorento: toy's night out

6. Bridgestone: whale in a pickup truck

5. Boost: Boost Mobile Shuffle

4. Snickers: "playing like Betty White"

3. truTV: Punxsutawney Polamalu

2. Late Show with David Letterman: Dave, Oprah, and Leno

1. Denny's: Free Grand Slam screaming chickens

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = XLIV

The Top 9 Greatest War Machine and Rhodey Rhodes Stories

(NOTE: Most of the series below are marked with "v1" to indicate which run the stories come from -- basically, every book listed here has had multiple #1 issues released under the same title except for Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (yes, even U.S War Machine had two volumes))

For the back story on these tales and more, check out Superhero History: War Machine.

9. Iron Man v1 #169-171 (first Rhodey as Iron Man, along with his second adventure in the Iron Man armor)

8. War Machine v1 #1-7 and 11 (first solo War Machine run minus crossovers; Rhodey leads Worldwatch)

7. The Crew v1 #1-7 (Rhodey avenges the death of his sister and makes some new friends in the process)

6. War Machine v1 #8 and Iron Man v1 #310 (first War Machine vs. Iron Man)

5. Iron Man v1 #281-283 (first appearance of the War Machine armor, worn by Tony Stark)

4. Iron Man v1 #300 and Marvel Comics Presents v1 #151-155 (introduces a street gang called the War Machines and events send Rhodey on a crusade to clean up the streets)

3. U.S. War Machine v1 #1-12 (alternate MAX continuity with a fleet of War Machines working for S.H.I.E.L.D.)

2. Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. #33-35 (a.k.a. War Machine: Weapon of S.H.I.E.L.D.; War Machine vs. Skrulls)

1. Iron Man v1 #284-291 (first Rhodey in War Machine armor; first Iron Man and War Machine team up)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = War Machine.

The Top 9 Things I'll Miss About The Jersey Shore

9 episodes of The Jersey Shore, that's all MTV saw fit to bless us with. Sadly, the show is over and I'm stuck with reruns. What to do? How about a Top 9 recounting my favorite Dirty Shore craziness? This also allows me to not write a real column this week. Fist pump that baby!

9. Angelina - Really, who walks out on an MTV reality show?
8. Vinny's total milquetoastness and utter irrelevance to the show
7. Ron Ron Juice - or maybe not
6. JWOWW's Battle dancing
5. GTL! GTL! GTL! - Because summer should revolve around gym, tanning, and laundry, right?
4. Snooki's hottub antics - although, someone at MTV told me that Snookin for Love is all but greenlit
3. Creepin, grenades, and grenade launchers
2. THE SITUATION
1. The Snooki punch

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 > pants.