I caught wind of this Sienna Swagger Wagon thing over the weekend, but I figured it could wait until today. Between commercials like this and BP's 'little' snafu in the Gulf, you'd never guess that Toyota was still recovering from a customer relations/quality nightmare.
Since this isn't a real music video, I'll reserve my usual negative comments. I'd just like to note the following: the dad squeezes the nipple on the baby bottle, he throws his daughter's tea service on the ground and spikes the mini piano - that cracked my shit up. He may be a balding actor and this may be a ridiculously shameless use of 'swagger' & autotune, but it's also funny. If I were Puff, I would be pissed -- not because these guys were jocing my video concepts from 15 years ago -- but because they'll have more success with it in 3 months than he has in the last 15 years.
Last Saturday I stayed in, drank a couple Bud Light tallboys and fell asleep around midnight. As such, I did not catch this terminal abomination of a live performance by Ke$ha. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of waking up and watching it. Nothing can undo what has been done here:
Really, where to begin? The American flag cape. Dancers + band in spacesuits. Overdone sing-songy vocals (plus autotune) that try to make her sound younger/ditzier than she really is. Did I mention the half-assed robot-arm swing in there too (these guys totally trumped Bieber's shitty road crew, which is impressive)? A total inability to sing/dance at the same time. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, and the lyrics are basically a string of urban dictionary entries. Why is this girl popular? Not mention, the single came out during the summer, what is she doing on SNL NOW?
The laser light thing -- that actually had the potential to be cool. But instead of using a theremin, which would have been 400% gangster, we got a lame party laser. That was the last straw. I mean really, how on earth is autotune more gangster than a theremin?!
I did a little wiki-research and it looks like this Ke$ha girl's initial 'breakout' was doing the hook on a Flo-Rida's even crappier cover of You Spin Me Round? There was a big long page of credits and history, but the main references that hit me were: Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, and Pitbull --- hardly musical relationships that I would consider worthwhile.
So, excuse me while I don my hater hat and pass judgement here: Ke$ha, this was a bad performance, a bad song, and bad in general. To quote a recent meme from b-school: you need to GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
So last week I hated on VEVO for it's launchday woes. And then later I noted some improvement, and maintained my other complaints. Well, today is more of the same. I'm glad that VEVO displays large videos on the main playback page, however I do not like that the embeds are 575 pixels wide by default. That is a bit too large for blog embedding in general, (especially this one). Oh, and the site makes you disable Adblock Plus in order to watch. YouTube doesn't do that, and either does MTV.
Anyway, today's video, courtesy of a functioning VEVO, is Calle 13's La Perla, featuring Rubén Blades. It's a great song, and the video is low impact - but scenic. If you can't enjoy this then... well i don't know, but something is clearly wrong with you. It's chill. And for what it's worth, it did win a Latin Grammy. Enjoy.
I want to like VEVO. Unfortunately, there are a number of issues standing in the way.
First and foremost, I can't get the site to work. I know it's in beta, and it just launched - but this is unacceptable. The launch was way too hyped for 2nd day performance to be this sluggish. I can't get any videos to play and the search functions are for shit. I can't even access a Beyonce video - apparently it's not authorized for my region. Pray tell, what region is licensed if not the U.S.? Also you have to access the site using the www prefix (which is redundant). That might all be minor nitpicking, but this whole thing is a joint venture with Google. Superstar uptime and IT are sort of their thing. Operational Fail.
And does this website even need to exist? I am totally comfortable watching ads on Hulu - and even on AOL or MTV when watching music videos, but where is the added value for me? All I see is value in aggregation, and maybe fewer broken video links in the future. But, reinventing the wheel, breaking everyone's current YouTube embeds, and promoting the site seems like a large outlay for small potential profits. Also, couldn't this have been defined as a new category of videos at Hulu (they have movies and tv right now) or even YouTube as opposed to a whole new site? Why not leverage Hulu's great brand image? I understand this involves a different set of parties, but I think this could have been done better. Oh wait - it totally has been:
MTV's implementation (which has an open API) of a music video streaming site is much better, and it launched last year. The design is infinitely less abrasive and offers all the same favorites, review, playlist, and social networking features that VEVO is promoting. And, they have a large (though not exhaustive) collection, including most current pop hits. The videos are easy to embed and most importantly, the site works. Booyah.
I imagine that Google / the labels will work the bugs out pretty quickly, but right now VEVO is a No-Go.
I'm not sure how to process Beyonce's alter ego, Sasha Fierce, anymore. I can't even come up with a witty headline. The 'good' vs. 'edgy' single release strategy was cute back in 2008, but 4+ cycles later I am over it. In any case, B just dropped a new video for Video Phone featuring (no surprise here) Lady Gaga.
The Track: Garbage. So far everything I have heard from this 'era' sounds the same. I think the beat could have been better used for something else. Gaga's inclusion is pointless play for relevance and she fails to add anything to the track. Bey is capable enough on her own, why is she bringing another 'diva' in the mix. Isn't that why she left DC in the first place? I don't get this, the same way I don't get why she did that other track with Shakira. Finally, I know I've said it before, but why does B keep trying to appear gutter glam? That's like Bill Gates saying he really digs the open source model and that he uses Plan 9. More to the point, it's not like anyone other than the Jigga Man has the remote possibility of a chance. Such a ridiculous and unbelievable tease.
The Video: Hype Williams done lost his mind. White, black, epilepsy inducing editing, a multitude of hyper color toy guns, Abu Grahib esque hoods, dudes with camera lenses for heads. Hype was clearly tripping off some Terry Gilliam Brazil / Time Bandits nonsense.
I mean check it out for yourself, it oozes excess and hubris. The whole thing is visually jarring for the sake of being so. Then again, taken as a leading indicator, we could be finally pulling out of the recession.
The video and inclusion of Ms. Disco Stick reinforces my theory that Lady Gaga is the most disruptive force in pop music right now. (Important note: B rocks a plastic m16 while Lady GarBage rocks an anemic pistol) Ciara, Beyonce, Shakira, Rihanna, and even my dear Amerie are all falling prey to and imitating her crazy, lone ranger, weirdass B.S. Every new pop diva video I see is just trying to capture some of her wackass style.
I got Shakira'd out when I lived in Mexico. I mean really, how many times can you hear the same song in an hour? Compound that with her more or less undecipherable singing voice and extremely terrible, hyper-sexualized, Gaga-esque single She Wolf. Between her, Nelly Furtado, and even my beloved Belanova, I've been slowly losing heart. All this crap has had me pining for the simpler times when Living La Vida Loca was about as crazy as things ever got.
But Lo! Ask and ye shall receive, from Papa Pharrel no less. Shakira's new joint Did It Again is kinda awesome - both sonically and visually.
The Track
First off, I can actually make out the words. I know most of her songs are recorded in Spanish and then later rerecorded for us lazy American monoglots - but this is a big selling point for me as my Spanish has really fallen off. That said, it surprises me how manypeople don't listen to lyrics - legions of 13 year old girls have no idea what they are bumping on their iPods.
I'll defer to Nick for his thoughts on this incarnation of Neptunes production, but this is 'Pharrel Lite'. No Timbo-style acapella, just heavy synth with a light drumline/steel drum backbeat. I can dig it -- although would a little more knock have hurt? Afterall, isn't Pharrel the drum guy?
The video
Two words: Sexy Capoeira. I think the concept is pretty awesome, a sexy fight on a sexy bed with lots of cool flips. Haven't seen that before, so it is primo video material in my book. A bit reminiscent of La Tortura at points, and I liked that one too. Way better than coming out of a pool with a sequined mask and an aquamarine swimsuit. Inconsistency or 'artistic license' manifests itself in the form of the shower cutaways and the Japanese drummers. (Come on Fam, we all know those drums were from an 808 / tape loop.)
The bottom line
I dig it. Were I to assign a letter grade, it might fall around B+. Of course, I don't do that, so let's just go with dope.
Let me state for the record: I am not a Drake stan. But, I have listened to the Heartbreak Drake disc a few times and won't turn it off it someone puts it on. I am not a stan - not even a fan - more like a guy who passively listens. Anyway, someone finally got around to shooting a video for Successful and here it is:
I used to really dig Trey Songz, and his hook on this track is pretty sick; but it's hard for me to give a fuck about Drake or his verses. His flow is just OK - there's no edge or flair to it. Not to mention the thematic content of the song is fucked considering "the times we live in". If I had a tour bus, and said tour bus looked like a 'freakshow', I would not be whining about my tumultuous internal conflicts and struggles with success and fame.
The video is pretty boring too, no more than a vehicle for Trey and Drake's faces. Nothing actually happens, it's all just passing medium shots. But perhaps Drake said it best himself: 'Buzz so big, I could probably sell a blank disc'.
Anyway, I'm glad that 'mini-weezy' has been getting so many guest spots requests recently. It can only increase the chances that he'll record some stellar hits and that he'll get stellar production throughout. As it is, I feel like most of his present hits depend pretty heavily on Weezy/Young Money.
Got this via Facebook. I don't know anything about Mac Miller - but he reps Pittsburgh, so we gotta put him on. Apparently I went to school with Rex Arrow who directed the joint, and now I am passing it on to you.
I dig the beat, and while the flow isn't nuclear heatrock or anything, I challenge you to be sad afterward. In any case, the video is cool and the keen eye will notice some key Pittsburgh architecture. Oh, and the girl? That's Nomi Leasure (go go facebook stalking powers)
Remember when Chumbawumba, Savage Garden, The Cardigans, and Prodigy were ripping the charts to pieces? Yeah, high-school was a hell of a time for me musically. And while a couple of those acts might still be around, the general notion of foreign import one-hit-wonder never seems to go away. I mean, hits come and go, but by and large - foreign acts have a tough time getting traction anywhere outside their homeland. Call it the "who the fuck are these dudes and why am I still listening to this?" syndrome.
OMC's How Bizarrewas as Dylon would say, FIRE. The horns, the guitar, the proto-bootie dancing by an entirely caucasian crew (something only Monster Magnet was brave/foolhardy enough to emulate), this joint had it all. Compound that with frontman Pauly Fuemana looking like an effeminate Dracula, and you have one of the most memorable pre-hiphop songs of my misspent youth (and by mispent I am refering to my Dorito orange fingers and pasty white indoor skin).
I miss this stuff dearly, though I would not be caught dead with it on my iPod. A friend saw that I had Ace of Base on my joint a few years ago and I have yet to live that down. I guess this is the killer app that karaoke was designed for: nostalgia. How bizarre indeed...
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