Archive for the 'Music' Category

Download all of our podcast theme songs for free

Over on our new Podcasts* page, you can now download the Nik Furious podcast themes from all of our shows... for free! Both the full versions and the edited podcast versions are available.

But remember -- just because these songs are free doesn't mean that you can use them for whatever you want! These songs are only for personal use and not for public broadcast of any kind (including other podcasts) without consent from Nick Marino a.k.a. Nik Furious a.k.a. me.

Anyway, these downloads are now available because I've decided to leave iTunes and Amazon and release all of my music for free from my website. Click here for more about my decision (and find out what you can expect from Nik Furious in 2012).

*For more about our new Podcasts page, as well as our updated About section, stop back here on Sunday, January 1st, 2012.

Culturology #85 - Your Favorite Band Sucks

I've never been one to pride myself on topicality, preferring to analyze cultural on-goings from a safe hermeneutical distance (I think I was a sophomore in college the first time I heard the word "hermeneutic;" it was in a talk about new advances in understanding the psycho-physiology of deafness and interpreting Beethoven with computers (or something like that), at Carnegie Mellon. Which was mostly a bunch of fuzzy musicological clap-trap, but did cause me to then go home and look more into what hermeneutics were, and then to spam the music school's dlist with a definition of hermeneutics (having been fairly well convinced that most of us in the audience had no idea what the aforementioned musicologist was talking about), but here I am now, using the word "hermeneutical" in an ironic sense, but in a sense that sincerely carries an understanding of what hermeneutics are (so I'm not sure if I'm thanking that musicologist or not)), but with the release of their newest album in pay-what-we-say online format--as I emailed to my friend Dan, whose favorite band is Radiohead, this morning--I've got to say it: your favorite band sucks.

Exhibit A

For a long time, I really prided myself on my thorough-going ambivalence to The Radioheads. By the time I was aware of their presence on the pop music scene (via friends listening to "Creep" or those animated videos from OK Computer) I understood to write them off as "whiny post-grunge opportunists" and "tools of the corporate hit-making apparatus." So even tho OK Computer came out at a time when my susceptibility to such things should have been quite high (I was a sophomore in high school), I never even bothered to listen to the album straight through.

In fact, I made it all the way through college (when Kid A and Amnesiac were released to massive accolades) without ever listening to OK Computer all the way through (though I did give at least cursory listends to the aforementioned smash electronica hit albums). It wasn't until I went to graduate school for the first time (Fall 2004) that I finally listened to OK Computer straight down (due in some part, I'm sure, to the fact that one of my roommates that year was the aforementioned Dan, whose favorite band The Radioheads are). To put it succinctly: I didn't realize what a good band Radiohead was until Coldplay came out.

And then Radiohead did their whole In Rainbows thing, which liked more for the "pay what you want" model of its release. The album itself was pretty lame, and I was sad to read/see interviews where the band talked about how much they liked it (I thought Hail to the Thief was way better). But it was nice to see some anarcho-socialist principles in play with an album self-released outside of the accepted corporate-driven control structures of pop music, with consumers empowered to pay what they believed the content of the album to be worth. And some of the tracks were fine.

But now, with The King of Limbs, we're back to paying standard-issue fees for digital versions of the album ($9? Get out of here...). And Radiohead have proven themselves as just another pop band churning out singles (see the above video), not really interested in pushing forward their music stylistically, or continuing to sit on the forward guard of the new music market. Oh well. A band that was pretty interesting there, for a few years, is boring again. Yawn.

Culturology #84 - My stang dois storkyn

Last week's column got me thinking, since clearly neither The Frank Sanchez Band nor AxCx was first responsible for shouting "fuck yeah!" in song, who had done it first? I didn't find out the answer, but I did find the first-ever printing of the word "fuck" in English arts & letters! It was by the 15th Century Scottish poet, William Dunbar, in his (bawdy Scottish) poem known as either "A Brash of Wowing" or "A Secret Place." You can read it here.

The glorious stanza is this one:

His bony beird wes kemmit and croppit,
Bot all with cale it wes bedroppit,
And he wes townysche, peirt, and gukit.
He clappit fast, he kist and chukkit
As with the glaikis he wer ouirgane.
Yit be his feirris he wald have fukkit -
"Ye brek my hart, my bony ane."

Pretty evocative. Fuck Yeah! There's another classic stanza in there was well, in the history of racy verses:

Quod he: "My kid, my capirculyoun,
My bony baib with the ruch brylyoun,
My tendir gyrle, my wallie gowdye,
My tyrlie myrlie, my crowdie mowdie,
Quhone that oure mouthis dois meit at ane,
My stang dois storkyn with your towdie:
Ye brek my hairt, my bony ane."

According to his Wikipedia entry, Dunbar is also a forefather of printing the word "cunt" as well, but I really think that both "tyrlie myrlie" and "crowdie mowdie" (especially the latter) are better.

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Culturology #83 - Fuck Yeah!

A SPECIAL CULTUROLOGICAL REPORT!!!

I fell into a kind of stupor entering 2011, and one of my apparent New Year's resolutions was to allow Culturology to slip into an unannounced hiatus. But we're back, because of developments on the scene of nasty novelty rock that we here at AudioShocker just shouldn't let go unnoticed.

Back in the Fall of 2006, having spent the previous two years living in Boston, I found myself back in Pittsburgh for four months. Nick and I took full advantage of my time there, not only getting Dirty Weekend back together for an epic reunion show at the 31st Street Pub and recording fine demos of two new songs, we also recorded a handful of new tunes under our The Frank Sanchez Band moniker. When the ghost of Frank Sanchez occupies our bodies, Nick and I can sing some pretty filthy things. But I should touch on one other thing...

Going to college in the first years of the millennium, certain cultural experiences were pretty standard for the course, and two that I associate pretty closely are 1) Watching CKY videos (CKY2K coming out just in time for my and Nick's freshman year of college) and 2) Listening to songs by Boston's cock-metal favorites, Anal Cunt. Maybe because there was an AxCx song in CKY2K. Anyway, it was mostly for their track titles, which were super-offensive, but occasionally, one--looking back--must admit, made one chuckle. "I Got Athlete's Foot Showering at Mike's" is a classic. I don't think I watched CKY stuff very often, or ever listened to these songs very much, but they were out there.

So, when you come to record vulgar variety songs of your own, you tend to be aware of your influences. My biggest influence was Nick (I think my own song-writing was safely of the lonely nerd novelty genre, until he coached me along the Way of the Dirt), and his influences were... I'm not even sure... 2 Live Crew, certainly... and, Rod Stewart, I guess. Bill Cosby? But never did we say to ourselves "Let's record songs like the kind Anal Cunt makes."

Fast forward to 2010. Those 2K6/7 Frank Sanchez songs have been up at MySpace for nearly half a decade already--and listened to about twice a year. And Anal Cunt has just put out a new album. Anal Cunt, presumably, still has the strong following of shock-giggling teenagers that they've had since making the scene back in the late 80s. The Frank Sanchez Band, thankfully, goes mostly unnoticed there on the ol' internet. So, without further ado, I present two you two exhibits:

EXHIBIT A: The Frank Sanchez Band - "Fuck Yeah" (2006)

Find more artists like Frank Sanchez at Myspace Music

EXHIBIT B: Anal Cunt - "Fuck Yeah" (2010)

Listen to it here.

As much as I want to take some kind of credit for this--that one of the 49 listens of "Fuck Yeah" on MySpace was by Anal Cunt, and they were like "great idea,"--the moral is, mostly, that there are only so many ideas to be had out there in the world of offensive rock music. But we got to this one first. And then, thankfully, retired. (Like Frank Zappa would say, "they're just words," but after a while, I think most of us get tired of them...)

Culturology #79 - Some Questions About Arena Rock

A couple weeks ago, I met a dude here in Berlin that works between here and New York City as some kind of music business professional--an agent, or a lawyer, some such thing. He's been working in the music industry for a couple decades now. So needless to say, once we got to talking, it turned into a pretty interesting conversation (and subsequently, nicely, I've seen him again since and he thanked me for the conversation, so that's good, since it was a rather lengthy argument through which we came to approximately no conclusion). But it is the first time I've ever met, let alone talked to, anyone who actually bemoans the on-going collapse of the music industry.

And though this guy is an industry insider, his claims seemed to genuinely be coming from the perspective of a lover of music. So his sadness at the democratization of music via internet-enabled music sharing and publicizing comes because this new system is not producing music that he thinks is good. Goodness, as I've discussed in the past, is an impossible thing to peg down, but it most boils down to having a justifiable rationale for believing that something is good or not. This is how, for instance, I can still respect Nick even though he likes terrible movies; generally speaking, he can say why he likes a thing, or I can more or less estimate, based on various trends I've witnessed across the past decade, why he thinks what he thinks is good.

So here's our industry insider's problem: like many people his age, he learned/decided what goodness was during the hey-day of 70s album rock, and his idea of goodness involves a band being able to sell out an arena, and greatness involves being not only able to sell out said arena, but also to be able to do that for several consecutive nights. And arena rock is perhaps, a true victim of the internet. Since bands (new bands) don't make that leap to arenas anymore, since they don't get enough fans, since fans, thanks to the internet, have too many choices between too many bands.

The basic argument goes like this: once upon a time, several major record labels had the machinery and infrastructure in place to give a band a chance to record an album, to disperse that album to several million fans over night, and then to put that band on a national or global tour, playing shows in front of tens of thousands of people every night. This system then generated enough capital to fund the putting on of the band's next album-tour extravaganza. Without the money generated by the music industry, bands cannot be as good as they used to be, because they can't afford good equipment, studios, engineers, or even the time to properly record an album and then take it on tour. And the bands that do manage to be good, despite their lack of resources, do not play shows to sold out arenas. If you don't play shows to sold out arenas, you are not great. Thus, we can only, in contemporary times, have nostalgic outings to arenas to see the great bands of yesteryear, as they remind us that once upon a time, there was a time called the 70s, and the 70s were great.

It's a similar argument to one that's also being had amongst book-loving people about what the role of the big publishing houses should be, and to what extent independent and especially self-publishing systems should be trusted and utilized. The music industry, even this outsider would admit, treated most of its acts like machines and commodities. But is this abuse of our popular musicians worth it in order to make the best possible music? Will indie labels and the internet ever produce any arena rockers? Certainly, independent record labels now have the infrastructure in place to nurture and support relatively large and popular acts, but is it at the sacrifice of the epic awesomeness of an arena show? Can the indie methodology continue to scale up? Should it?

Culturology #78 - Rocking Out With Nothing but My Tinnitus

Alright. Let's make it two weeks straight, even though these weeks move to damn fast to really even feel all that separate. Why was #76 afraid of #77? Because seventy-seven seventy-ate seventy-nine! What did Freud say came between seventy-fear and seventy-sex? Seventy-fuenf!

I had a moment yesterday, having finished doing some work that felt good, where I flashed onto my on-going self-imposed famine from most things American-pop-cultural, and allowed myself some serious self-congratulation. Partially because I have not for a moment been bored since removing regular internet connection, television, newspapers, magazines, comics, and radio from my regular on-goings. Also, since the beginning of August (since coming over to Berlin), I have been living without a personal music-listening device. I have music on my laptop, which I listen to regularly when in my room with my laptop, but I have neither an iPod nor a portable CD player. I, as has been documented here before, have never had an iPod--remain fervently anti-Pod--but up to this point in my life, since first receiving a Discman for Christmas when I was 12 (along with a boxed-set of Weird Al Yankovic's music to that point (up through "Jurassic Park")), have always had a personal CD player handy, and have always traveled with one.

But, it turns out that the technology that facilitates my anti-Podism is backwards compatible! I so despise iPod culture that I've decided to do away with listening to music on ear bud headphones while doing any of the following activities: flying, walking around, running errands, riding trains, subways, and buses, or using my laptop in public places. This has worked out pretty well so far. My biggest test were two 13 hour train rides to and from Budapest. But never has a 13 hour train ride felt so short!

These devices have their upsides, I admit, and there's definitely been moments where I've wanted to hear music that I would have had with me had I bring CDs along, but don't have since I don't have their .mp3 representations on my laptop. And for sharing music with others, the devices are nice (that's come up a couple of times now). And, for instance, the other day I went and saw Black Mountain play, and they were incredibly awesome, so I would've liked to buy their new album, but I didn't have anything here to play it on! So maybe, some day, I will break my fast from these devices, and use them (again or for the first time), but with an increased awareness as to how unnecessary they are. I think everyone should try this. Since when were we supposed to constantly be able to listen to music anyway?

I don't really like to be this self-congratulatory, but I guess it comes along with the territory of being a cultural elitist, and especially being a cultural elitist with a long-running and multi-variegated series of acutely incisive bursts of cultural criticism (har har har). I need someone like Weird Al to show up and parody this bullshit for me, cut me down a peg or two.

You're Gonna Be Clappin When You Hear Eminem Rappin

Just caught this on Smoking Section... Remember Vince, with the Shamwow and the Slapchop and the hookers? Rember Eminem, with his terrible last album and the drugs? Well, what if you combined both of them, threw out the nasty shit and distilled it into a great Recovery promo? Well, this is what you'd get:

favorite line: 'Put it on your hose"

Recovery is available 6.21.2010!

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Where My Mother Fathers At?

I caught wind of this Sienna Swagger Wagon thing over the weekend, but I figured it could wait until today. Between commercials like this and BP's 'little' snafu in the Gulf, you'd never guess that Toyota was still recovering from a customer relations/quality nightmare.

Since this isn't a real music video, I'll reserve my usual negative comments. I'd just like to note the following: the dad squeezes the nipple on the baby bottle, he throws his daughter's tea service on the ground and spikes the mini piano - that cracked my shit up. He may be a balding actor and this may be a ridiculously shameless use of 'swagger' & autotune, but it's also funny. If I were Puff, I would be pissed -- not because these guys were jocing my video concepts from 15 years ago -- but because they'll have more success with it in 3 months than he has in the last 15 years.

(WHERE MY MOTHER FATHERS AT?)

Wow, Ke$ha, You Suck.

Last Saturday I stayed in, drank a couple Bud Light tallboys and fell asleep around midnight. As such, I did not catch this terminal abomination of a live performance by Ke$ha. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of waking up and watching it. Nothing can undo what has been done here:

Really, where to begin? The American flag cape. Dancers + band in spacesuits. Overdone sing-songy vocals (plus autotune) that try to make her sound younger/ditzier than she really is. Did I mention the half-assed robot-arm swing in there too (these guys totally trumped Bieber's shitty road crew, which is impressive)? A total inability to sing/dance at the same time. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, and the lyrics are basically a string of urban dictionary entries. Why is this girl popular? Not mention, the single came out during the summer, what is she doing on SNL NOW?

The laser light thing -- that actually had the potential to be cool. But instead of using a theremin, which would have been 400% gangster, we got a lame party laser. That was the last straw. I mean really, how on earth is autotune more gangster than a theremin?!

I did a little wiki-research and it looks like this Ke$ha girl's initial 'breakout' was doing the hook on a Flo-Rida's even crappier cover of You Spin Me Round? There was a big long page of credits and history, but the main references that hit me were: Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, and Pitbull --- hardly musical relationships that I would consider worthwhile.

So, excuse me while I don my hater hat and pass judgement here: Ke$ha, this was a bad performance, a bad song, and bad in general. To quote a recent meme from b-school: you need to GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

DJ Kool-Aid Man Releases Hot New Remixes