Archive for the 'Movies' Category

AFI 100 Years 100 Movies Podcast 014 – All Noisy on the Podcast Front

The AFI 100 Movies podcast is back!!! Conrad returns to talk to Nick about The Sound of Music, All Quiet on the Western Front, Amadeus, From Here to Eternity, and The Philadelphia Story. Plus: Fran Drescher, the crusty Ernest Borgnine, the comedy masterpiece known as Funny Farm, and Nick coins the phrase podcast vérité.

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 AFI 100 Movies Podcast #14 [55:33m]: Play Now | Download

Podcast Episode 086 – The Last Transformation into an Outlaw Legacy

Neal thinks that Nick would think that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is racist. The Last Airbender trailer exceeds expectations but still disappoints these two Avatar fans who cannot get over the bizarre casting choices. Michael Jackson and Billy Mays have left the building. Play it to the Bone and Gran Torino are solid movies. Neal tells Nick about New Era hats with Marvel Comics stuff on them. Nick tells Neal about G-Man, Avengers: The Initiative, X-Men Legacy, Demon in a Bottle, and a short western comic by Skipper Martin from the new Outlaw Territory anthology. Also: is Alan Moore the literary Dov Charney? And what is podcast vérité?

Shove the AudioShocker podcast RSS feed into your favorite RSS reader. Review the AudioShocker on iTunes. Call the AudioShocker Comment Line at 412-567-7606 or have our comment line call you.

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #86 [47:24m]: Play Now | Download

WTF Happended to Vincent Gallo?

Just a passing thought – but am I the only person who thought Buffalo 66 was great and that Gallo would go on to do other great movies? I mean, if Lyle Lovett and Tom Waits could do it, certainly a lanky ass bearded proto-hipster could. And, he even cast Mickey Rourke back when no one gave a crap about him.

Or not. I only got about 10 minutes into The Brown Bunny before someone asked me to do something and I got sidetracked, but as I recall, Chloe Sevigny gives him a hummer onscreen. And the general media was mortified. I don’t know what went wrong, perhaps it was one hit wonderdom, or maybe homeboy should stick to being a rocker. I’m not sure, but I know homeboy has another good movie in him.

Buffalo 66 took a while to get started but it built to a great ending. Today’s loser/slacker comedies are heavy on slapstick and breakneck pacing: Airplane! to the extreme. Perhaps another Gallo film would help us remember how great it is to have a beat in between laughs. The world isn’t some witty Xkcd panel or an episode of The Office. Not everything has to be mile a minute laughs.

Anyway, just thought I’d share that.

A Podcast with Ross and Nick 003 – X-Men Movies Debated!!!

Ross Campbell loves X-Men: The Last Stand (the third one). Nick Marino loves X-Men (the first one). It’s X-Men 1 vs. X-Men 3 in a movie debate battle royale (where the only REAL loser is X2: X-Men United). Will Nick be swayed by Ross’ love for the top-grossing yet critically-panned third installment? Or will Ross be persuaded by Nick’s passion for the groundbreaking yet visually-underwhelming first chapter? So much suspense! So many questions!! So many exclamation points!!! Also: Ross hates CG Patrick Stewart in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and Nik Neptune puts a face to the name.

 
 A Podcast with Ross and Nick #3 [31:25m]: Play Now | Download

Podcast Episode 085 – The Death of Transporting Ballistic Fanboys

Nick is not feeling Fanboys, Neal is not feeling Transporter 3, Lil Flip raps about Kim Kardashian while Hurricane Chris raps about Halle Berry, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever sucks, Nick is listening to a lot of video game music from vgmusic.com (Contra is the best), the guys reminisce about watching Booker T. play live, Death of Autotune prompts Nick to serenade Neal with Believe (you know, by Cher), the guys wanna know what happened to Alia Shawkat, and Nick talks about Captain America #600 (new) and Iron Man #182 (old).

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #85 [46:22m]: Play Now | Download

Culturology 035 – Demographic Disposition and Bland Comedy

Having received several quasi-favorable reviews–not high praise exactly, but admissions of funniness–from a couple of reliable sources, I went ahead over the weekend and went out to see The Hangover, to see what all the fuss was about. Given that the movie’s already been in theaters for three weeks, there’s not a whole lot I can say here that hasn’t already been said, but it was kind of funny. But it was also clear why the thing has been so popular, since it’s not not-funny either.

Maybe it’s an age thing, once again. I’m in the closing months of my mid-20s, soon to be embarking on my late-20s, and more and more I find this to be an awkward age. I probably sit at about the median age of my social circles, but that means that a fair number of people that I see socially on a regular basis are already in their 30s (mostly in their early-30s, but a few are in their mid-30s). I bring this up because of a certain logic that seems to exist in comedy movies, that movies about high school are written for a pre-teen audience (though the raunchy subset of high school movies finds a broader audience, I suppose), movies about college for a high school audience, movies about twentysomethings capering about (Saving Silverman, maybe?) for college students, and movies about thirtysomethings written for twentysomethings. So, by only several minutes into The Hangover, I found myself thinking “wow! I can’t wait ’til I’m in my mid-to-late thirties!”.

If this age-based thing seems too general, or off base, it’s also further complicated by The Hangover’s simultaneous existence as a caper comedy and as a Vegas movie at the same time. It may well, in fact, just be the fact that it takes place in Las Vegas that this movie is successful at all (how could a combination of Dude, Where’s My Car? and Very Bad Things succeed otherwise?). Given that some many of its jokes seem so familiar, the thing won’t age well, but then again, that’s not really the point, I suppose. Comedy-for-the-ages is a different beast than comedies-that-make-hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars (or even of less immoderate success). Take, for instance, Something About Mary and Kingpin, from all the way back in the ’90s: Mary seemed like the ground-breaking movie at the time, as the culmination of the ’90s gross-out movement, and made more money (I’d imagine), but Kingpin was the movie built to last–Bill Murray’s comb-over alone will maintain this movie for centuries to come (not to mention possibly the best groin-hit (between Harrelson and the two baddies) of all time). I could rattle off a massive list of classic comedies but there’s no real point to it; I’m fairly confidant that the trends would point to aspects of quality rather than quantity of viewers.

Crank 2 was way funnier than The Hangover. Very different types of movies, admittedly, but the comparison can be made since The Hangover definitely went for the still-new “this is awesome” model of movie-making. Except that very little of its concepts were particularly awesome, and the thing was quite slackly-paced. The pacing issue probably has to do with it being a Vegas movie, where the director, one assumes, is compelled to lovingly film all those beautiful hotel rooms and hallways and scenic vistas blah blah blah. As usual, with popular things like this, part of me hopes that it leads some minority of its viewers towards actually good things, but that probably isn’t the case with this. Giggle! “So many crazy things happen in Las Vegas OMG!”

The only other point I want to bring up, dealing again with this movie’s placement in the canon of all comedies ever, has to do with Zach Galifinakis’s role. Dude’s been doing the awkward-comic thing for a while now, to decent effect (anyone else remember his turn in Out Cold? I sure do). Owes something to Andy Kaufmann, I’d assume. And he does pretty well steal most of the scenes he’s in–though, that’s not much of a feat when you’re competing against Ed Helms and some other douchebag. But awkward comedy is easy, especially for a mainstream audience, since it would seem much newer to them. Why? Because comedy is all about timing (for the best-timed joke in the history of movies, see the “It’s Enrico Pallazzo!” gag from the first Naked Gun movie), and awkward comedy is based in disrupting that timing. I can’t think of many things that I appreciate more than a well-timed joke (there were a couple decently timed gags in The Hangover but not many), and this can also appreciate blatant disregard for anti-timing, but in a movie where things more or less just move forward and jokes come and go, the awkward thing gets really boring.

And I guess that’s why I tried to warn myself off of writing about this movie, since it was doomed to boil down to “popular movies are boring,” which, while true, also leads to the similar aphorism that “elitists are annoying.”

Pete Can’t Believe He Hasn’t Read This By Now #4: William Faulkner’s Sartoris

I’m not sure by what this book should be hailed. It’s Faulkner’s third novel, and the first dealing with Yoknapatawpha County and its residents, but not first “major” novel overstates the case. The thing definitely shows signs of Faulkner having not quite his stride as a serious writer. But, given that it’s the first of the whole spate of amazing novels that defined and developed Faulkner’s primary literary universe, it’s an important work. I don’t know why I hadn’t read it by now; I guess because it isn’t as good as the sequence of amazing novels that followed it. In that regard, I tended to think of it as his first novel as I read it. Similar to reading Kundera’s The Joke last week, I’ve found it quite rewarding to go back and read the earliest novel of a writer whose later works I enjoy quite a bit.

Pretty much every summer, going back to my sophomore year of college, I’ve gotten this urge to read Faulkner. Something about the humidity maybe, draws me towards his descriptions of Mississippi. So it was only a matter of time before I got around to reading Sartoris. Reading one or two Faulkner novels a summer for eight summers in a row gets you there eventually. The plotting (really, the lack of plotting) in Sartoris once again matched the pace of my summer to this point, moving slowly, with not all that much happening. Given the amount of story that followed this book, though, its not surprising that its 300 pages take such a broad view and move so slowly, since Faulkner, here, is already trying to build so much of his imaginary world.

It’s interesting to me as well that, reading it after so many of the other Yoknapatawpha novels, this book didn’t feel like a “prequel” at all–that has something to do with the timelessness of Faulkner’s story-telling, and the sort of shifts in time that take place in those other works. Given that, what makes it seem earlier is really in the craft.

Particularly disconcerting is Faulkner’s treatment of African-American characters, often resorting unnecessarily to broad-strokes and racist stereotypes (an issue that he had corrected (at least to some extent) in his later works). I think most of us white middle-class readers are taught how to deal with this sort of stereotype-laden writing in Junior High, when we read Mark Twain, and are taught to ignore the “n-word” and consider it part of the social tapestry or whatever. But that’s not really satisfactory. Produces a lot of white liberal awkwardness, if nothing else. What’s strange here is that many of the black characters are well-developed, embark upon sub-plots and are treated fairly and humanely. Faulkner resorts to stereotype mostly in the background; in sentences that were either never written or edited out of later novels, or at the very least presented more complicatedly. Writing the novels about the South, especially during a timespan between the Civil War and The Great Depression, from the perspective that he had, Faulkner’s racism–or the racism in his characters–is generally present in all his works, but complicatedly so; in Sartoris its not complicated at all, but at least the reader can take to heart that it eventually will be (if never completely satisfyingly so).

For July 6th: Toby Barlow’s Sharp Teeth

The Top 9 Popular Video Games That Should Never Be Made Into Movies

Let’s be honest – Hollywood is so fucking desperate nowadays that they’ll turn anything into a movie. They love cherry picking from video games and comics because an established brand means less marketing (or, at least, easier marketing).

We can all agree that there are plenty of video games that would make awesome movies. But I think it’s safe to say that some video games should never EVER let the lens tell their tale, including:

9. Dr. Mario. At first, I was going to give this slot to Circus Charlie, one of the few scrolling games that would have appeared on this list. But then I remembered my Dr. Mario addiction that I suffered from earlier in this decade – I was so hooked on playing this game that I had to literally go cold turkey. I haven’t played a single second of Dr. Mario since that time. The addictive properties of this game may compel some hapless producer out there to try and develop a movie, but I guarantee you that it would be pure crap, through and through.

8. Anticipation. This has got to be the least popular game on this list, which means that many of you have probably never played it. Good for you. This game was the torture of my NES-playing childhood. It’s like a game show or board game adapted to the Nintendo Entertainment System… and it blows. While most of the other games on this list are at least fun to play, this one is painful. Basically, the movie potential for Anticipation is non-existent and the game play is awful.

7. Arkanoid. I must confess that, on some my more bizarre days, I’ve attempted to conjure up a coherent narrative around Arkanoid’s premise: controlling the last vestige of the mothership Arkanoid, you are the spaceship know as Vaus, which hits a silver sphere around until things break apart (namely, your enemy named Doh). While I love the insane premise that Arkanoid is more than a glorified Pong paddle slapping a little ball back and forth, I would never allow my love of Arkanoid delude me into thinking that it would make for a great film. I suggest that Hollywood movie producers follow my lead and let this concept stay relegated to video games.

6. Marble Madness. I know that this was generally accepted as a good game back in the day, but I always hated it as a kid. And now it’s one of the few classic popular video games that I haven’t played as an adult. While I’m sure that (at some point in the late 1980s) it crossed the minds of a few film producers, Marble Madness has never been developed into a feature film. I think that was for the best, don’t you?

5. Bejeweled. Like Solitaire, Bejeweled is a PC gaming phenomena. At one point in my life, I even thought that it was a fun game. I may have been wrong about the quality of its game play, but I know that I’m right about Bejeweled’s blockbuster film potential – it doesn’t exist… at all.

4. Duck Hunt. It’s classic, I’ll give it that. And maybe this Nintendo game, that came famously bundled with Super Mario Bros., would be perfect for a digital short ala Saturday Night Live. I’ll give it that as well. But anything beyond that would completely suck.

3. Solitaire. Arguably the most popular video game in the world (because it comes pre-installed on nearly every single version of the Windows operating system), Solitaire is nothing more than a PC representation of the classic (and boring) card game of the same name. If somebody told me that Solitaire had been optioned and Zak Penn was attached to write the script, I wouldn’t be surprised. With that said, I’m a dude with an open mind… but this game would make for a totally shit movie.

2. Pong. It’s the original. But just because Pong launched a gaming revolution, that doesn’t mean it should attempt to launch a film revolution as well. The game consists of two paddles, either player or computer controlled, slapping a ball back and forth. It’s simple. And it’s great just the way it is. No movie adaptations, please.

1. Tetris. I’m sure that someone out there has attempted to make Tetris into a narrative film. I bet there are even spec scripts laying around somewhere in a Hollywood studio basement. And, not to be too harsh, but that’s exactly where those Tetris: The Movie scripts belong: buried somewhere deep below the Earth, never to emerge and influence a weak-minded film producer into following their lead.

More: The Top 9 Playable Marvel Characters in Capcom Fighting Games

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Podcast Episode 083 – The Time Traveling Dildo Salvation Experience

AudioShocker Podcast #83Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience by Steven Soderbergh, Jean-Claude Van Damme in Timecop, the Mortal Kombat movie, 27 Dresses getting worn by Katherine Heigl, Coraline and Neil Gaiman, Hip Hop is Read and Colin Munroe, Terminator Salvation cannot be saved by Christian Bale, Len Kaminski and Iron Man #306 got ripped off by Google, Robot 13 by Thomas Hall and Daniel Bradford is pretty awesome, and, of course, mucho more.

P.S. No. You are not losing your mind. AudioShocker Podcast #82 never happened. It had… issues. And since there is a slight chance it may yet get recovered, we moved onto #83 in the meantime.

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #83 [60:16m]: Play Now | Download

Podcast Episode 081 – Dave Coulier’s Mullet vs. Bridget the Midget

Neal gets runny at Qdoba and then he watches Wrist Cutters: A Love Story, he hates baby name books, Justique marvels at the bizarre mullet worn by Dave Coulier in Full House, Mandy Moore goes all Amanda Leigh on us, Nick believes in nut shots as contemporary American art, Katy Perry is a Zooey Deschanel that can sing (except Zooey Deschanel can also sing), the new Melanie Fiona album, Bridget the Midget and Amy Fisher do special appearances at local venues, Welcome to the NHK is an awesome anime, Neal hates falsetto, Neal read Locke and Key: Welcome to Lovecraft, Ron Howard loves Lovecraft (who loved cthulhus), Nick loves Iron Man and five free plays of Marvel vs. Capcom at the arcade and playing Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors for the first time, and Justique explains succubus vs. incubus.

 
 AudioShocker Podcast #81 [58:06m]: Play Now | Download

Culturology 032 – Funemployment DVD Special!

So Nick? Did you wind up seeing Star Trek? Pretty good, right? Probably, like, a better movie than Wolverine was, huh? Good enough, in fact, that in the box office figures, this past weekends new should-be blockbuster release, Angels & Demons barely beat it out while Wolvie experienced his second straight weekend of precipitous decline. I wasn’t about to run out to see A&D, either.

DVD Round-Up

Beyond just reading novels and generally not working, not doing much of anything at all, really, I’ve decided to keep my internet DVD rental service within my budget, as getting a few movies a week to watch seems to take the edge off of having so many hours a day to be so painfully aware of my own uselessness (a pretty straightfoward reaction to being jobless, I reckon). So I’ve finally gotten around to seeing a bunch of movies that came out sometime in the past:

Once: This wasn’t terrible. As much as I haven’t gone for the whole singer-songwriter thing since the first half of my sophomore year of college, the music in this was okay, and the whole notion of making a small movie about making music is one way to get me to admit that not everything sucks. It’s interesting to me too, ’cause I reckon this movie did well enough last year that people will be trying to repeat the success, and make more “indie-pop” musicals or whatever. But, as generally impressed as I was with this movie, I switch right back to my more usual cynical appraising as soon as I think of the idea that there would be a market for this stuff. Not that I want to dredge up any old issues of hipsters and what they ruin (see early Culturologies for the epic hipster conversation of 2008), but I’d imagine that this, if co-opted by indie-panderers, would become a style of movie which falls ever so neatly into that category of “the new sincerity,” that explicitly post-ironic or anti-ironic aesthetic mush that gives cultural credence to treacle in the process of recanting its own usually heavily ironicized worldview.

Role Models: I realize that he wasn’t directly involved with this movie, but I’m gonna go ahead and make the association: Judd Apatow is ruining American comedies. There’s plenty to like about Role Models (not the least of which is the fact that the above-mentioned comedy-ruiner isn’t actually involved). Actually, I almost went and saw this in the theaters. There are some good jokes, and Seann William Scott is a funny guy. David Wain is a funny guy. The Jesus bit from The Ten was funny enough to make seeing something with Wain and Rudd working together a reasonable thing to do. But I can’t help but feel like this movie would have been funnier if certain other movies hadn’t built a certain set of expectations for character arc and nerd-comfort in comedies. Maybe it’s wrong to blame other movie-makers for the badness of something unrelated, but I feel like the comparison is an obvious one to make. At least we have the eminent release of The State DVDs to look forward to.

My attitude there is also influenced by having finally gotten around to seeing Pineapple Express, which was barely funny at all, and mostly bad. And Knocked Up was unwatchable. Normally, my attitude with this online-based DVD renting is that to get my money’s worth, I must watch fully (not including special features or commentary tracks) everything that I rent, but I sent back Knocked Up after watching maybe its first twenty (if that) miserable minutes. And, for comparison, I did manage to watch all of

Leonard Part 6: This is a terrible movie. The only reason I managed to get through the whole thing was that the villainess was a crazy vegetarian woman who used henchmen dressed like animals, and lots of actual animals to accomplish her nefarious plots. This thing won a ton of Razzies back in ‘89, deservedly so. Cosby’s at his worst. But it is made worthwhile because at a crucial point, Cosby defeats the head henchman by getting him to take a bite of a hotdog, which causes the henchman’s head to explode (it appears to have been filled with sawdust, I guess to keep their PG rating).

Pete Can’t Believe He Hasn’t Read This Before! #2: If on a winter’s night a traveler

This book is probably only on your radar if you went to college, and maybe even only if you studied some amount of English literature (though it was originally written in Italian, and translated into English). Why? Because it’s probably one of the better examples of the kind of book which gets labeled as “postmodern” but is actually quite good. The structure is very interesting, with ten sections each being the first few pages of different novels which a character, addressed in the second person, gets involved with in interstitial chapters, in a wild international hunt for an elusive entire book.

Those of you that did study some amount of English probably see this as being indicative of the literary atmosphere in Europe after the ground-breaking critical work of Roland Barthes and Jacques Derrida, who liberated the text from the author, the reader from the author, the text from meaning, etcetera etcetera. The poor protagonist of If, then, is a kind of atavistic fellow who just wants to read a good old fashioned book, and doesn’t like all this fragmentation and historicizing of the text. There’s an awful lot of heady nonsense to be said/written (of course, if we’re speaking post-Derrida, then everything is “writing”) about If on, which is probably why I never bothered reading it until now.

Last week, I talked a little bit about the notion of the canon, and the fact that there are many different canons of work that all exist simultaneously, as different ways to sort the same set of books (the big set being something like All The Books That Are Readable By Demographic X). If on a, to its detriment, falls into the canon of books That Are Likely To Be Talked About By Annoying Lit Majors That Think They Know Something About Stuff, when, of course, they know very little. It’s a reasonable stance, especially the further one gets from having been in an American college or university, to hate what’s broadly called in this country “postmodernism”.

But it’s a really good book! I don’t often go for books that use “you” like this (see Bright Lights, Big City for another–very different–example), but it works here, as its taken to such ridiculous heights as the poor Reader tries to keep a hold on any of the books he starts to read. In the end, if I were to read some sort of philsophical or theoretical aspect into If on a winter’s, it’d be that it’s pro-old-fashioned reading, rather than against it, and demonstrating that, as much as Barthes and his acolytes might proclaim the author’s death, the reader is never all that empowered either. Language rules (the only theory that I know that actively works with this notion that language-itself yields the power in cultural works is the still-burgeoning “meme theory” which rises out of neo-Darwinism (the word “meme” was coined by heavy-hitting evolutionist Richard Dawkins, though, in anything I’ve read, he hasn’t returned to the concept all that much).

Next Week: Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (this might actually take me more than a week to read, since its pretty thick).

For June 1st: Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly

For July 6th: Toby Barlow’s Sharp Teeth

Other requests?