Archive for the 'Movies' Category

Nick's Movie Taste Disclaimer

Published
by
nick marino
on November 15, 2011
in Movies
. 4 Comments

Recently, I recommended Action Jackson as a must-watch movie on A Podcast with Ross and Nick #115. To me, that's exactly what it is -- a fantastic movie with lots of action, comedy, and unusual touches. But a friend of mine felt burned after he took me up on my recommendation.

If you're a longtime AudioShocker listener, then you already know that I have unusual taste in movies. You may have heard me give a glowing review of something you hated. Or maybe I railed against a film that you and millions of others enjoyed.

Look, I'm not doing this just to be difficult, weird, or different. The fact is that my taste in film just happens to be difficult, weird, and different. It's always been that way since I was a little Nick and I'm pretty sure that'll never change.

So here's my disclaimer:
I have unconventional taste in movies. Keep that in mind when you listen to our podcasts. And, hopefully, once you get a feel for my taste in film, you'll come to understand how my taste relates to yours.

Let me use examples to illustrate my point. My favorite movie of all time is The Naked Gun. It gets a 9/10 on the Nick scale. That's as high as it goes. Nothing has ever received a 10/10 and I doubt anything ever will.

Some of my other favorite films include Kingpin, Total Recall, Balls of Fury, Good Guys Wear Black, Gleaming the Cube, and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Now are you starting to understand?

Some movies I've enjoyed (and defended) that others have maligned include X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Soul Plane, The Animal, and Charlie's Angels.

I don't care for most movies made before 1970. My favorite genres are blaxploitation, raunchy comedy, martial arts, action comedy, sci-fi and animated fantasy. Are you starting to follow me yet?

Now let's take a look at some of the films I actively dislike. Those include Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, the Bourne series, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Knocked Up, and WALL-E.

Lest you think that I just hate on stuff other people like, there are plenty of films I haven't enjoyed that are commonly disliked -- Green Lantern, X-Men: The Last Stand, Waiting, Cyborg, and Grandma's Boy. Is this all making sense to you?

I'll end with a list of my favorite actors. Just because they're in a film doesn't necessarily mean I'll like the movie... but I'll give it a shot if it stars Rob Schneider, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Anna Farris, Chuck Norris, Pam Grier, Woody Harrelson, Fred Williamson, Terry Crews, or Seann-William Scott

Anyway, I hope this helps. I don't want to disappoint anyone with my movie recommendations, but I also have to be true to myself. So when you hear me say something is good, just reference this blog post to see where we have overlaps and where we disagree.

Assassination Games movie review [SPOILERS!]

Published
by
nick marino
on October 30, 2011
in Movies
. 0 Comments

Jean-Claude Van Damme has a new film out and I watched it on Friday night. I decided to live-tweet my viewing experience since I have a long-standing history of tweeting Jean-Claude Van Damme movie reviews.

JCVD is a straight shooter

Here's what I tweeted about Assassination Games:

  • Aight!!! It's #JCVD time!!! I'm watching Assassination Games and live tweeting the experience.
  • I already hit technical difficulties :)
  • I'm eating a veggie protein "sausage flavor" sandwich. Really good. Hahaha I know... who cares, right? Anyway, back to my tech problems...
  • I rented Assassination Games from Amazon... first time I've ever tried that before. And the streaming player froze up on me just now...
  • Granted, that's after I seeked back a few times and had it paused for a few mins. But still... it shouldn't be freezing this bad!!!
  • I refreshed and tried to use Amazon's "Resume" button... but it didn't work. So I have to play from the beginning (I only watched 2 mins)...
  • Anyway, on with Assassination Games! I like how it started with a Nietzsche quote... ties in nicely with my current reading: Infinity War.
  • And BAM! There's Van Damme :) I love the disguise he has on, with the sideburns. Hilarious.
  • I had to rewind it a sec to see if I could see when #JCVD slits the guy's throat. Can't see it.
  • The quick kitchen fight scene was great! #JCVD
  • Oooooo sponge bath. WAIT... that's Bianca, daughter of #JCVD ... right?
  • Ahhh now he looks like himself. #JCVD walking into some kind of beat down building. Music has been great so far, BTW.
  • Uhhhhhh weird apartment...
  • Ahhhhh it's a fake facade. Very nice touch. Clever. I dig it. The real #JCVD apartment has class. And a butt-load of weapons. AND A TURTLE!

Kris and Bianca

  • There's the son of #JCVD Kris. Seems a bit out of place with these older guys.
  • Kris is fine, but seems a bit miscast so far.
  • Sooooo Scott Adkins... uhhh sponge bathing people and chopping wood. Odd.
  • He better be a good fighter cause his acting is RAW.
  • The Scott Adkins scene is so boring that I started reading @GynoStar instead of watching Assassination Games. It was worth it :)
  • Oooo great song on the radio. Awesome RnB. Gotta check out the soundtrack credits after the movie...
  • More #JCVD ... walking to the good song. And more secret rooms. Recurring theme. Hahaha JCVD make a diet joke. Hmmm blood diamonds?
  • I like how understated #JCVD has become with his acting.
  • FLASHBACK! With Bianca. She's very good!!! But Adkins still somehow boring despite the tension.
  • So one of the guys who effed up Bianca is Van Damme's next hit. I get it. And he has new neighbors. Who suck.
  • Hahaha funny ringtone. Chess. And... AN ASCOT? I like the guy who dispatches #JCVD in this movie.
  • Ohhhh Van Damme's new neighbors are hookers.
  • Soooooo the action scene. I'm sorry but Adkins is killing this for me. Oooo weird #JCVD playing the violin scene. Uh oh.
  • Hookers getting beat. And #JCVD saves the day, I guess. It's a little confusing. Hmmm more drama.
  • Okay, Adkins is good at the action! It's a... #JCVD fight scene!!! The cinematography is solid. Great lighting. Hahaha funny guns.

Van Damme... just coolin out

  • Hahahaha #JCVD slipped up for a minute... showed some of his old style of acting! Great.
  • What's up with this laser scene? Hahaha what?? His name is Roland Flint? So goofy.
  • So the guy who likes to kill and torture people has a scrapbook with his brother in it? HAHAHA
  • #JCVD back at home annddddd the hooker is petting the turtle
  • That's not a euphemism. Seriously, the hooker was petting his turtle.
  • Sooooo the characters in this film: killers or hookers. I don't think there's anything else.
  • I'm confused about the Interpol subplot. What do they want?
  • Plot thickens! Ascot guy is an ass.
  • Awkward whore = killer analogy. Not very clever. Nice #JCVD neighbor confrontation though!
  • I get the Interpol subplot now. Exposition! Courtesy the ascot ass.
  • "do you dream?" aaahahahahjhaha
  • Ha boob closeup with funny rnb. Good stuff.
  • What type of underwear is she wearing? Odd bra. Like a strapless sportsbra. Ooo #JCVD kiss
  • Adkins is a good fighter. I get it. And #JCVD is being creepy. I smell a turning point.

This is not a scene from Assassination Games

  • Oh shit jumper cables. For the balls? I hope so.
  • Whoa. I don't wanna spoil it. But whoa. Raw #JCVD moment
  • The Amazon streaming is great quality. Got it running to my tv via hdmi from the laptop
  • It's hard to say much now without giving stuff away. But barring a good surprise ending, Assassination Games would get a 6.5 out of 10
  • Finally Scott Adkins gets some intensity in his eyes!
  • Hahahaha OMG #JCVD with a samurai sword. Fantastic.
  • Hrmm so there was the perfect place to end it but then they tried to do an emotional epilogue and that killed it.
  • The samurai sword thing would have been the perfect over the top ending for #JCVD in Assassination Games.
  • Anyway that's it for now. I'll do a final review later this weekend.
  • Assassination Games (2011) - 6/10 - Great stuff (Van Damme's performance, fight scenes) mixed w/ average stuff (plot, overdone ending) #JCVD

Final thoughts: Overall, Assassination Games was a decent movie that tried a bit too hard to be poignant and emotional when it should have focused more on the action.

Also, it did a piss poor job with its female characters (one of them was gang-raped off camera and put into a coma, while the other one was brutally murdered)... so that definitely didn't aid in my enjoyment of the film.

But the movie did some things very right -- Van Damme turned out a solid performance, the fight scenes were quick and strong, and the samurai sword epilogue was outrageously fantastic.

The movie would have scored a 7/10 from me if it had ended on Scott Adkins' creepy smile that followed the samurai sword moment. Instead, the film tried to do a "touching" emotional ending that didn't work because I never effectively connected with the characters in a sentimental way. Not a horrible ending... but enough to knock Assassination Games down to a 6/10.

Part 2 of the Yamagato Shocker Superhero Throwdown is here!!!

Published
by
nick marino
on July 2, 2011
in Movies and Podcast Episodes
. 3 Comments

Here's Part 1.

EDIT: This episode was originally hosted by YIBR, but they've recently taken down all of their old podcasts, soon to be re-uploaded. So here's the audio of this episode instead of the normal YIBR video version. *NOTE* this is the raw audio of the conversation that I provided to the YIBR gang for editing purposes, and there's about a minute and a half of dead air at the beginning. SORRY ABOUT THAT! The conversation begins at excactly 1:31.

Yamagto Shocker Superhero Throwdown pt 2 [ 1:34:31 ] Play Now | Download

That right there? That's 1.5 hours of superhero movie discussion. Yes, I know. It's really long. And it starts off with me ranting about Batman movies. Be forewarned. I geek out kinda hard.

But in all seriousness, I had a fantastic time recording all of the A Month of Yamagato podcasts. MEGA CRAZY HUMONGOUS THX to Beeslo, Mongo, and Link.

Click here to visit the AudioShocker Store!

Listen to Collider's recap of the 2011 Hero Complex film fest

Published
by
nick marino
on June 13, 2011
in Comics and Movies
. 0 Comments

I'm putting together today's HyperComboCast #3 as I type this, and while I'm getting that posted, I'm listening to the various audio clips from Collider.com's recap of this year's Hero Complex film festival.

Collider is sort of podcasting without realizing they're podcasting. They've got an intense set of live audio, featuring speakers such as Mike Mignola, Robert Downey Jr., and the Captain America screenwriters. Oh, and Jim Lee and Geoff Johns talk about the DC relaunch. Not too shabby.

Here's some of the audio (everything links directly to the mp3s):

I haven't listened to everything yet, but what I can tell you (based on Collider's descriptions) is that Downey Jr. and Fav talk about the Iron Man movies AND The Avengers movie, Mignola talks briefly about the Hellboy movies and comics, and Lee and Johns are joined by Grant Morrison.

There's also more audio on in the blog post I didn't link to, like Warren Beatty and Richard Donner. So if that's your thing, you should probably pop over to Collider.com and check it out.

Also, I'm eating Crunchy Nut. You'll learn more about that on tomorrow's AudioShocker Podcast #182.

Culturology #88 - Name Drop City

Published
by
pete
on May 6, 2011
in Books, Culturology and Movies
. 3 Comments

Wow. So what a month of poetry it was (check out the documentation at www.omiami.org)! Not one to let all my responsibilities constantly slip by, the month of May brings a return to my culturological musings, and my vainglorious quest to make it to 100 posts. So this one might be a bit scattershot, as I pick up some pieces from the past month, but I'm really thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might make it back to my form of yore and drop some serious cultural science all over these here internets. Let's see...

During O, Miami, I met many incredible poets. I also met Kool Moe Dee and Monie Love, both of whom turned out to be incredibly caring and eloquent people.

I also met James Franco, which probably means something to all you fans of the Spider-Man movies. Here's pictorial evidence :

This, I think, would officially be the closest I've ever gotten to an encounter with pop culture. I think you can tell from our facial expressions that it really meant a lot to both of us.

The next most recent encounter, before the festival, was a time two winters ago, when I was walking down the street in Chelsea, Manhattan, just after a large snowstorm, and walked past Willem Dafoe (I know, the other Spider-Man actor!, crazy!), and I was looking at him, being all, like, "I think that's Willem Dafoe!" and he looked right back at me and without even nodding, acknowledged the fact that he was, indeed, Willem Dafoe, and that no words or body language need pass between us.

And one of my best friends kind of looks like Elijah Wood, who is easily confusable with Tobey Maguire, and my mom used to watch Wings a lot, so I feel like I've pretty much met all the important actors from the Spider-Man movies. And Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst.

X-Men: First Class Movie Trailer (w/ Screen Caps!)

Published
by
nick marino
on February 10, 2011
in Movies
. 8 Comments

To compliment our Epic X-Men TV Review Endurance Marathon Extravaganza podcast series, I figure I'll toss the (first) X-Men: First Class movie trailer up here so we can find reasons to laugh at it.

Speaking of laughing at it, here are some choice screen caps from the trailer (click on them for hi-res versions):

X-Men: First Class - Cerebro

CEREBRO! Nice face, Xavier. And where the fuck is he? It looks like a mad scientist's laboratory or something. Also, FYI, most machinery does NOT glow orange. Just sayin'.

X-Men: First Class - Angel Salvadore

Hey, Ross! Look!!! That's gotta be Angel Salvadore in that picture, right? WAITAMINUTE... why is she topless? And is that Xavier and Magneto poppin' a bottle in the background? ARE THEY AT A STRIP CLUB?

X-Men: First Class - Mystique

What's that, Mystique? You want me to come to bed? Oh, baby, you know how I like 'em -- blue and spikey.

X-Men: First Class - Beast

Yes, Beast. I said blue and spiky. I guess it's your lucky day.

Son of the Top 9 Most Underrated Comedy Movies!!!

Published
by
nick marino
on January 29, 2011
in Movies and The Top 9
. 3 Comments

Underrated Comedies - Gentlemen Broncos, Midgets vs. Mascots

A year and a half ago, I did a list called The Top 9 Most Underrated Comedy Movies of the Past Few Years. Here now is my return to that theme... my updated list of the Top 9 most underrated comedies of the past few years!

9. Finishing the Game. I love 70s movies. I love Bruce Lee. And thus I loved liked this movie. It didn't blow my mind or make me piss myself, but it was an entertaining mockumentary that rewarded me for being a Bruce Lee fan. Plus, it was a good Hollywood satire. [Buy it now: Finishing the Game on Amazon]

8. The Slammin' Salmon. Wait... this went direct-to-video but Club Dread was in theaters? THAT'S A CRIME! Similar to Finishing the Game, this wasn't super laugh out loud funny, but it had a lot of chuckles and it certainly kept my attention. It's like Waiting... but better. [Buy it now: The Slammin' Salmon on Amazon]

7. The Brothers Solomon. Truly stupid. It's hard to watch this and not cringe at the ignorance of the characters, the concept, and the humor. But there're some surprisingly hilarious and unexpected jokes that come out of left field and slap the funny in your face. [Buy it now: The Brothers Solomon on Amazon]

6. Midgets vs. Mascots. DISCLAIMER: Not for everyone! It's racist, sexist, homophobic... and so on. It's a parody, so it's not all those things in a serious way. But it'll offend you. Me, on the other hand, I think the shart scene is the greatest achievement in modern cinema. [Buy it now: Midgets vs. Mascots on Amazon]

5. I Love You Phillip Morris. Part of me wants to swap this movie out for Dance Flick and leave it off the list... BUT I left it on here because it's criminally underrated. I haven't heard any talk or buzz about it! It's funny and emotional, and it sticks with you. [Buy it now: I Love You Phillip Morris on Amazon]

4. Death at a Funeral. (The American remake, that is.) I heard bad reviews. I assumed it was Martin and Chris Rock's The Expendables. I was wrong. It's a fantastic screwball comedy along the lines of Dinner for Schmucks (another underrated comedy, natch). [Buy it now: Death at a Funeral on Amazon]

3. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. Wow. I should have expected no less from Neal Brennan. I mean, this was shockingly funny. Stupid, yes. But incredibly funny. One of those "choke on my own laughter" kinds of funny. DISCLAIMER: It's very ignorant!!! [Buy it now: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard on Amazon]

2. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (Extended Cut). The extended cut is looong, but it's fantastically funny. I mean, it's better to the point where I wouldn't recommend watching the non-extended cut. Bonus: this movie has lots of quotable moments. And penis. [Buy it now: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story on Amazon]

1. Gentlemen Broncos. This choice is odd for me considering how often I favor in-your-face joke delivery. But I love this film up and down. It's probably the most underrated AND funniest thing on this list. It's insane, quotable, and warrants multiple viewings. [Buy it now: Gentlemen Broncos on Amazon]

More:
- See this same list of underrated comedies on our AudioShocker Amazon aStore
- The Top 9 Most Overrated Comedy Movies of the Past Few Years

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Click here to visit the AudioShocker Store!

The James Hong Marathong Master List!

Published
by
nick marino
on January 6, 2011
in Movies
. 4 Comments

It's epic!!! It's intense!!! It's a true test of media endurance!!!

It's EXTREME!!!*

But that's a different marathon challenge. This blog post is about the James Hong Marathong, a slightly less endurance-based (but potentially more enjoyable!) movie extravaganza.

Over the next ten episodes of A Podcast with Ross and Nick, we'll be reviewing two James Hong movies per show (along with our weekly X-Men animated episode).

And you can join in on the fun by playing along at home by using the following Marathong master list:

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #84
January 12, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #85
January 19, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #86
January 26, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #87
February 2, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #88
February 9, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #89
February 16, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #90
February 23, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #91
March 2, 2011

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #92
March 9, 2011

* Epic X-Men TV Review Endurance Marathon Extravaganza

Culturology #76 - Sally Forth!

Published
by
pete
on September 3, 2010
in Culturology and Movies
. 1 Comment

Is it Friday again already? Golly. This week was even faster than the last.

As long time readers of Culturology (that is, Nick (and maybe Neal)) may recall, one of my favorite things about popular culture in Germany is the way they re-title movies, presumably, in order to fit in with German idiom. The classic example of this is 2008's In Bruges, which was titled See Bruges... and Die? in German. Where the English title was subtle and understated, the German title just went ahead and put it all out there. Another great example from that era (you know, back in like, 2006-2008, when movies didn't all suck?) was 3:10 to Yuma, which became, in German, Death-Train to Yuma.

So, on this trip, my most recent return to Germany, I am already defaulting to looking around to see what kind of titles foreign movies have in Germany. But it's been such a shitty year for movies that even the German titles are a let down. One exception might be Get Him to the Greek, though, as it's German title is just Man Trip. And further evidence that Germans want to be able to tell what a movie is about based on its title alone is Avatar's German sub-title, which I like to translate as Avatar: Sallying Forth to Pandora.

So why don't Americans want to know what movies are about? This of course ties in with the internet-era monstrosity that the notion of "spoiler alerts" has become. That somehow, if we know what a movie is about in any specific way, or know what is going to happen in it, then we can't possibly enjoy it. This is juvenile and foolish. So, then, even though we're the juvenile and foolish ones for feeling like the essence of a movie is (the sanctity of) its plot, it's the German titles that come off as stupid, and the Germans as the foolish ones for needing to know in simple fashion why they should bother going out to see a movie.

Though, the American movie industry still seems to make boat-loads of money despite not producing much shit that's actually worth watching, and then sometimes terrible movies (say, The Aang Legend) actually do way better abroad than they do in the States. So we're each and everyone of us--any of us with the social and financial wherewithal to go see movies at all--special little snowflakes of stupidity.

Movie Quote Monday - The Naked Gun

Published
by
nick marino
on August 2, 2010
in Movies
. 0 Comments

A comedy classic from Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun:

I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was...