AudioShocker

on January 31, 2010

. 10 Comments

(NOTE: Most of the series below are marked with “v1″ to indicate which run the stories come from — basically, every book listed here has had multiple #1 issues released under the same title except for Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (yes, even U.S War Machine had two volumes))

For the back story on these tales and more, check out Superhero History: War Machine.

9. Iron Man v1 #169-171 (first Rhodey as Iron Man, along with his second adventure in the Iron Man armor)

8. War Machine v1 #1-7 and 11 (first solo War Machine run minus crossovers; Rhodey leads Worldwatch)

7. The Crew v1 #1-7 (Rhodey avenges the death of his sister and makes some new friends in the process)

6. War Machine v1 #8 and Iron Man v1 #310 (first War Machine vs. Iron Man)

5. Iron Man v1 #281-283 (first appearance of the War Machine armor, worn by Tony Stark)

4. Iron Man v1 #300 and Marvel Comics Presents v1 #151-155 (introduces a street gang called the War Machines and events send Rhodey on a crusade to clean up the streets)

3. U.S. War Machine v1 #1-12 (alternate MAX continuity with a fleet of War Machines working for S.H.I.E.L.D.)

2. Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. #33-35 (a.k.a. War Machine: Weapon of S.H.I.E.L.D.; War Machine vs. Skrulls)

1. Iron Man v1 #284-291 (first Rhodey in War Machine armor; first Iron Man and War Machine team up)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = War Machine.

The Top 9 Things I’ll Miss About The Jersey Shore

Published

on January 25, 2010

in TV and The Top 9

. 0 Comments

9 episodes of The Jersey Shore, that’s all MTV saw fit to bless us with. Sadly, the show is over and I’m stuck with reruns. What to do? How about a Top 9 recounting my favorite Dirty Shore craziness? This also allows me to not write a real column this week. Fist pump that baby!

9. Angelina – Really, who walks out on an MTV reality show?
8. Vinny’s total milquetoastness and utter irrelevance to the show
7. Ron Ron Juice – or maybe not
6. JWOWW’s Battle dancing
5. GTL! GTL! GTL! – Because summer should revolve around gym, tanning, and laundry, right?
4. Snooki’s hottub antics – although, someone at MTV told me that Snookin for Love is all but greenlit
3. Creepin, grenades, and grenade launchers
2. THE SITUATION
1. The Snooki punch

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 > pants.

The Top 9 Movies I’m Looking Forward to in 2010

Published

on January 18, 2010

. 1 Comment

9. Predators

8. Death at a Funeral

7. Grown Ups

6. Repo Men

5. Megamind

4. The Eagle Path

3. Tron: Legacy

2. Iron Man 2

1. I Love You Phillip Morris

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = pants.

The Top 9 Characters Introduced in Street Fighter III

Published

on December 25, 2009

. 7 Comments

Honorable mention to Chun-Li for being the best Street Fighter II character in Street Fighter III (if not THE best character in the game series):

9. Twelve
8. Q
7. Urien
6. Necro
5. Elena
4. Sean
3. Yun
2. Ibuki
1. Oro

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Neal hates math.

The Top 9 Comics I Read in 2009

Published

on December 18, 2009

. 5 Comments

Just a quick FYI — this post in no way affects the AudioShocker’s 2009 YOU DON’T SUCK Awards. This is a just a personal list of books I read this year that I loved. Doesn’t mean they came out this year — this is just my favorite of what I experienced this year.

9. Tales of the TMNT #64 (very excellent Mikey issue)
8. Uncanny X-Men #287 (first story where we really see Bishop’s timeline)
7. Infinity War #1 (love that opening scene!)
6. Surfer Silver #35 (love the plot twist!)
5. Wet Moon 5 (love that ending scene!)
4. Gello Apocalypse (in particular, the story starting with the Charlie Brown cover)
3. Iron Man #261 (OMG! awesome parallel plot storytelling by JRjr)
2. G-Man: Cape Crisis (can’t just pick one issue!)
1. Iron Man #306 (love me some Len Kaminski arc and this issue blew my mind)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Neal hates math.

The Top 9 Netflix Watch Instantly Horror Films

Published

justique

on December 11, 2009

. 2 Comments

9. Thankskilling
8. MoH: Pro-Life
7. Teeth
6. Candyman
5. MoH: Cigarette Burns
4. Phone
3. Misery
2. Perfect Blue
1. Three… Extremes

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome.

The Top 9 Things I Could Live Without

Published

on December 4, 2009

. 2 Comments

Last week I told you what I wanted for Christmas (Nick and I are still accepting presents), and now this week – just to be safe – I’d like to tell you what I neither want nor need (again, please note that we are currently accepting presents).

9. Zombies – I am so horrendously sick of America’s fascination with the undead – particularly zombies. What is so exciting about what is essentially a deranged flesh eating clown without the makeup? (Oh yeah, I hate clowns too…)

8. Twilight – Perhaps it goes without saying based on #9, but this particular parasitic bit of YA fiction can go eat some garlic laced silver nitrate and die.

7. Tyler Perry and M. Night Shyamlan – Original, eh?

6. Multi-Baby Mama Drama – If Jon & Kate plus 8 and the Octomom simply vanished, we as a nation would all be better off.

Deep Dish Sucks!

5. Chicago style deep dish pizza – The crust is overly buttery, the toppings are boring, and after one slice you’re full. Pizza is NOT a casserole. [Note - I have to disagree on this one. IMO, ya gotta go straight to the source! Either Pizzeria Uno or Pizzeria Due ("due" as in italian for "two") in downtown Chi-town. Or, check out some of the local deep dish in the nearby (a.k.a. not Peoria) Chicago suburbs. - Nick] [Author's Note - Neal has been to both Due & Uno, as well as Giordano's and they all suck donkey balls! sorry Chi]

4. Hipsters – Hey you, scenesters! Guess what? I actually like music and occasionally bowling. Perhaps you could take your chain smoking, overly compressed testes somewhere else.

gross.

3. CG – The current state of computer graphics in movies is apalling. SFX look shittier and more phoned in then ever before. Remember the Matrix? If you want cool character makeup / effects, you should really just call Tom Savini.

2. Biodiesel – Nothing grinds my gears more than people who prattle on about how awesome biofuels are. Biodiesel is crap and so are your views on the environment. Oh – and screw you too ethanol. [Note - Neal once killed a man for believing in global warming. - Nick] [Author's Note - Yup, global warming is junk science]

1. Someone freezing and slicing my brain live on the Internet – They were actually doing this on Wednesday for some famous amnesiac. In three words: Do. Not. Want.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome!

The Top 9 Things That Should Be On Sale This Black Friday

Published

on November 27, 2009

. 2 Comments

sehtolc raeppasid!

Ain’t nothing wrong with a little consumerism. As America starts counting down shopping days, it’s only fitting that we share with you our wish lists. While none of these items are for sale – feel free to send us presents.

9. Paul Allen’s Octopus Yach t - This thing has 2 helicopters and a gaggle of jetskis — but that is just for starters. Sign us up for two.

8. Three wishes granted by Zatanna – A little piglatin and she can make anything happen; that is infinitely better than some blue skinned, harem pant wearing, Robin Williams voiced cartoon.

7. Global ban on Tyler Perry and M. Night Shyamlan – Really, how on earth are these two dudes still getting work?

6. 50 Cent’s debut R&B album – Can you fathom how awesome a disc of Curtis Jackson crooning ballads would be? It would blow Before I Self Destruct out of the freaking water. It’ll never happen, but I can dream.

ALF, wing man extraordinaire

5. Guest spot on Alf – Nick would most likely dirty his dungarees were this possible. I mean, imagine all the crazy hijinks with a wingman like Gordon Shumway.

4. Bootjets – Oh wait, these are like 10000% unavailable. Perhaps a more realistic question is: where the eff is my flying car already?

3. Diplomats reunion (minus Jim Jones) - Look, Diplomatic Immunity Vols. 1&2 were major and Santana’s From Me To U was a classic. All I am asking is for the boys from Harlem to bury the hatchet for like 4 hours.

2. Another ‘First 100 Days’ for Obama – ZING! No seriously, America’s CEO could use a do-over.

1. More listeners – Tell your friends, your coworkers, your boss, your boss’s boss, your boss’s boss’s mistress: The AudioShocker Podcast wants your ears (but not in a creepy ear-necklace sort of way).

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome!

The Top 9 Most Awesome Characters on TV, ever

Published

on November 20, 2009