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The Top 9 Comic Book Stories feat. Thanos and the Infinity Gems

Published

on May 15, 2012

. 4 Comments

I'm a huge Thanos fan. I love the concept of Jim Starlin's creation. His stories of the Mad Titan are some of my favorite superhero comic books of all-time.

I have to admit that calling this a "Top 9" list is a bit of a dupe because the entries aren't ordered by quality. Instead, the following list is a pretty accurate chronological comic book reading order with some extremely subjective opinions on the quality of the stories contain therein.

To see where these stories rank in my personal top 9 order, check out the numbers listed in italics after the titles.

Silver Surfer #34-38 (3 of 9)
Collected in the Silver Surfer: Rebirth of Thanos graphic novel
- There are Thanos stories by Jim Starlin dating back to the mid-70s. But this 1990 storyline is the prelude to the epic Infinity triology and the beginning of Thanos as he's best remembered. He doesn't do that much in this story except for mess with the Silver Surfer's mind, but it's @#$%ing awesome!

The Thanos Quest #1-2 (1 of 9)
Collected in the Silver Surfer: Rebirth of Thanos graphic novel
- By far my favorite Thanos story and an essential read if you have a passion for the character. Thanos goes off on a quest to collect the six Soul Gems a.k.a. the Infinity Gems. Nuff said.

Silver Surfer #44-52 (6 of 9)
Not collected
- These tie-ins are not essential reading by any means. But if you love Ron Lim's art as much as I do, you'll enjoy them. Thanos is only in these issues a little bit, but reading them prepares you for what comes next...

Infinity Gauntlet #1-6 (5 of 9)
Collected in the Infinity Gauntlet graphic novel
- The classic Thanos tale of love, loss, and monumental cosmic war. This is a mega-crossover... so if you don't like chocolate in your peanut butter, you might not dig this. But it's by far the most famous of all Thanos tales.

Silver Surfer #53-59 (7 of 9)
Not collected
- These comic books are tie-ins to the Infinity Gauntlet story. They're not essential reading and they don't all feature Thanos, but reading them definitely enriches the Infinity Gauntlet experience.

Infinity War #1-6 & Marvel Comics Presents #108-111 (2 of 9)
Collected in the Infinity War graphic novel
- Personally, this is my second favorite Thanos story. I love Lim's art and Starlin's masterful writing. This tale is over-the-top and bombastic, but it's also full of elegant touches. However, skip all of the tie-ins except for Marvel Comics Presents #108-111 ("I, Thanos"), which takes place within one page of story during Infinity War #3.

Infinity Crusade #1-6 (9 of 9)
Collected in the Infinity Crusade v1 and Infinity Crusade v2 graphic novels
- I don't care much for this third leg of the classic Infinity trilogy. Frankly, I think it's too long and convoluted. A glut of tie-ins deprives the main miniseries from a good deal of important moments, making this story very passable.

Infinity Abyss #1-6 (4 of 9)
Collected in the Infinity Abyss graphic novel
- Now here are some great comics for the casual reader! This may be a wee bit confusing without any prior Thanos knowledge, but it's also the most rewarding story from a standalone perspective. Think of this as Jim Starlin's Thanos 2.0, wherein 90s Thanos gets upgraded to the 00s with lots of nods to the work of Steve Ditko.

Marvel: The End #1-6 (8 of 9)
Collected in the Marvel Universe: The End graphic novel
- I've never been able to finish this tale. I have a few friends that rave about it and I appreciate their opinions, but it's just not for me. However, it's a fun and ambitious story that works well as an end-cap to the iteration of Thanos that began in 1990's Silver Surfer #34.

There are plenty of Thanos stories that have followed, including a Thanos solo series started by Starlin (who left the book after too much editorial meddling), as well as the Annihilation cosmic saga (I forget exactly which issues contain Thanos appearances... I do know that he "dies" in one of them).

From what I've seen online, the character has made his official return in Avengers Assemble #3. This is going to be a new era for the anti-villain... a fourth era, if you will. I like to think of it as follows: 1st era = Starlin in the 70s, 2nd era = Starlin in the 90s, 3rd era = Starlin and Annihilation in the 00s, and 4th era = these new 2010s movie tie-in comics.

In other media, Thanos was the big boss in Marvel Super Heroes. It's a classic fighting game by Capcom that centers around the concept of the Infinity Gems. It's got gorgeous art direction and wonderful music. I highly recommend it. Learn more by listening to this podcast.

Thanos also popped up on the Silver Surfer TV show. I didn't care for this iteration. He was pretty sucktastic. Plus, there's the new-ish Super Hero Squad Show, which features Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet (as well as the "Infinity Sword" and the "Infinity Stones"... say wha???)

BUT most people will now be familiar with the character through the ending to The Avengers movie. And that's cool. If you're curious about him, my above reading order should treat you well.

Conceptually, Jim Starlin has laid down some fascinating explorations of morality through the use of Thanos. Thanks to his writing in combination with the awesome art of Ron Lim and Al Milgrom, I've become a huge fan and I think you will too if you give some of these comics a shot.

The Top 9 Anime For People Who Say They Don't Like Anime

Published

nick marino

on August 19, 2011

in The Top 9

. 4 Comments

You've probably encountered this at some point or another -- after recommending an anime to a friend, they immediately say, "Nah, I'm not gonna watch that. I don't like anime." Hell, some of you might even be that person.

Well, I have a confession to make: I used to that person. But I'm not anymore, thanks to the persistence of my anime-loving girlfriend, Justique. She just wouldn't give up until she found an anime that I liked.

Some of the following selections happen to be my favorite anime (although the order of this list is not necessarily reflective of my own person tastes). But regardless of my favorites, at least one of these anime series or movies is sure to change the mind of even the most staunch anime hater out there.

9. Street Fighter Alpha: The Movie - Okay, let's suppose that the anime hater in your life is opposed to Japanese animation because they're just not familiar with the characters. Well look no further than this movie! It's a Street Fighter prequel of sorts that shows the gang coming together sorta like The Muppet Movie... just with a lot more blood and hadoukens.

8. Baccano - Personally, I don't like this series at all. But I can recognize a crossover hit when I see one. Baccano is a supernatural action story set in early 1930s America. So not only is it unconventional, but it's also set in the USA, which is sure to appease those anime haters among us who can't handle the Japanese culture shock.

7. Ghost in the Shell - This is by far the most traditional anime on the list. I've included it because it's an incredible story with gorgeous animation and a profoundly intricate plot. This is the movie to show to the anime haters that think everything animated in Japan looks like Dragon Ball Z.

6. Weather Report Girl - Ahhhhh, yes!!! I love it. This rare and extremely brief two-episode anime series is about a weather girl who works for a Japanese TV station... who's obsessively driven to succeed... and enjoys furiously masturbating whenever she gets the chance. This is an extremely adult tale that's best to show to haters who think that all anime is made for tweens.

5. Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Alright, so this show is probably the most controversial entry on this list. Why? Because it features a lot of the tropes that often give anime a bad rap among non-fans. But it's sooooooo goddamn good that it had to make this list. It's a light-hearted, feel-good story about an awkward crew of Japanese high school students who aren't quite what they seem.

4. Avatar: The Last Airbender - Disclaimer: this isn't a Japanese series. In fact, it's a Nicktoon. As in it aired on Nickelodeon. But it's often regarded as anime by many people out there. Even though I question that classification, there's one thing that I don't question in the least -- the quality of this three-season TV show. It's absolutely brilliant. Avatar is complex, emotional, and surprisingly all-ages.

3. Perfect Blue - This is the most straight-forward story on this list. A burgeoning Japanese pop star is haunted by a stalker. That's it. Pretty simple in concept. But it's wonderfully rich in suspense and imagery. Remember when I told you to show Weather Report Girl to haters who assume that all anime is juvenile? Well, you should probably show them this one first.

2. Welcome to the NHK - This is the anime to watch with haters who think that all Japanese animation is filled with busty babes, ridiculous action, and post-apocalyptic futures. NHK is the antithesis of the anime cliche. It's a slice-of-life story about a troubled shut-in and his two best friends. It's also an incredibly moving story that's potent in any language.

1. Shin Chan - Finally, we've reached the ultimate anime to convert even the most stubborn of non-believers! Shin Chan is The Simpsons meets South Park, but with more fart jokes. It's a family sitcom primarily following a five-year-old boy who says abnormally adult things while maintaining all the mischievousness of his youth. Though I've never tried to watch this show with subtitles, I can't imagine it'd be much of a hater breaker that way. For this series, you want to make sure that the anime denier in your life is watching the English dubbed version, which is notable for airing on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

ALSO CHECK OUT:
- The Top 9 Horror / Psychological Anime - Part One
- The Top 9 Horror / Psychological Anime - Part Two

Son of the Top 9 Most Underrated Comedy Movies!!!

Published

nick marino

on January 29, 2011

in Movies and The Top 9

. 3 Comments

Underrated Comedies - Gentlemen Broncos, Midgets vs. Mascots

A year and a half ago, I did a list called The Top 9 Most Underrated Comedy Movies of the Past Few Years. Here now is my return to that theme... my updated list of the Top 9 most underrated comedies of the past few years!

9. Finishing the Game. I love 70s movies. I love Bruce Lee. And thus I ~~loved~~ liked this movie. It didn't blow my mind or make me piss myself, but it was an entertaining mockumentary that rewarded me for being a Bruce Lee fan. Plus, it was a good Hollywood satire. [Buy it now: Finishing the Game on Amazon]

8. The Slammin' Salmon. Wait... this went direct-to-video but Club Dread was in theaters? THAT'S A CRIME! Similar to Finishing the Game, this wasn't super laugh out loud funny, but it had a lot of chuckles and it certainly kept my attention. It's like Waiting... but better. [Buy it now: The Slammin' Salmon on Amazon]

7. The Brothers Solomon. Truly stupid. It's hard to watch this and not cringe at the ignorance of the characters, the concept, and the humor. But there're some surprisingly hilarious and unexpected jokes that come out of left field and slap the funny in your face. [Buy it now: The Brothers Solomon on Amazon]

6. Midgets vs. Mascots. DISCLAIMER: Not for everyone! It's racist, sexist, homophobic... and so on. It's a parody, so it's not all those things in a serious way. But it'll offend you. Me, on the other hand, I think the shart scene is the greatest achievement in modern cinema. [Buy it now: Midgets vs. Mascots on Amazon]

5. I Love You Phillip Morris. Part of me wants to swap this movie out for Dance Flick and leave it off the list... BUT I left it on here because it's criminally underrated. I haven't heard any talk or buzz about it! It's funny and emotional, and it sticks with you. [Buy it now: I Love You Phillip Morris on Amazon]

4. Death at a Funeral. (The American remake, that is.) I heard bad reviews. I assumed it was Martin and Chris Rock's The Expendables. I was wrong. It's a fantastic screwball comedy along the lines of Dinner for Schmucks (another underrated comedy, natch). [Buy it now: Death at a Funeral on Amazon]

3. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. Wow. I should have expected no less from Neal Brennan. I mean, this was shockingly funny. Stupid, yes. But incredibly funny. One of those "choke on my own laughter" kinds of funny. DISCLAIMER: It's very ignorant!!! [Buy it now: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard on Amazon]

2. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (Extended Cut). The extended cut is looong, but it's fantastically funny. I mean, it's better to the point where I wouldn't recommend watching the non-extended cut. Bonus: this movie has lots of quotable moments. And penis. [Buy it now: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story on Amazon]

1. Gentlemen Broncos. This choice is odd for me considering how often I favor in-your-face joke delivery. But I love this film up and down. It's probably the most underrated AND funniest thing on this list. It's insane, quotable, and warrants multiple viewings. [Buy it now: Gentlemen Broncos on Amazon]

More:
- See this same list of underrated comedies on our AudioShocker Amazon aStore
- The Top 9 Most Overrated Comedy Movies of the Past Few Years

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

The top 9 movies I like that make people give me the "You like that?" face

Published

nick marino

on July 10, 2010

in The Top 9

. 12 Comments

You know that face, right? You're all like "Oh, that was great!" and then someone else is like "You like that?" and they give you that look of shock, confusion, and disgust.

Well, I get that look a lot more than others. So here's a short list of movies that ellicit that response the most.

9. Soul Plane. Everyone I show this to agrees with me -- this movie is good.

8. Music and Lyrics. In general, I enjoy most Hugh Grant movies.

7. My Bloody Valentine. It was awesome in 3D, okay?

6. G-Force. This was also pretty awesome in 3D.

5. Muppets from Space. I think this is the best Muppet film out there, if not the best film out there.

4. Drag Me to Hell. Don't get it twisted -- this is a comedy movie.

3. Street Fighter. Again, you gotta rememeber that this is a comedy.

2. Balls of Fury. This too is a comedy movie. And a damn good one.

1. The Ladies Man. So many people thumb their nose at this and they've never seen it! Give it a chance. It's hilarious.

P.S. The Back Issue Binge is going to become a non-weekly, whenever-it's-fun-and-easy-to-meet-up sort of thing. I'll try and let you know ahead of time when it's gonna show up.

The Top 9 Best Black Panther Tales, pt 2

Published

nick marino

on May 23, 2010

in The Top 9

. 0 Comments

In part one, I detailed #9-5 of my Top 9 favorite Black Panther ~~tails~~ tales. This week, the stunning conclusion is upon us!

As I mentioned last time, this list was originally a submission to The Greatest Black Panther Stories Ever Told contest on the Comics Should be Good! blog (see their top 10 choices for best BP stories).

As I also mentioned, my selections for #5-1 are all classic and almost all... old, one could even claim. Maybe I'm just a classic sort of guy, ya know? Or maybe -- just maybe -- the greatest T'Challa tales just happen to be in the earlier days of the character.

05. "The Client" - Black Panther v3 #1-5 (Christopher Priest left a HUGE mark on the Panther's legacy, and it all began with this clever story arc. While I love Priest's work, his BP stories -- oddly enough -- are not my favorite of his or of the character's. But I think this is his best work with T'Challa, if only because it redefined the character for a modern audience and established an enduring status quo in terms of attitude and Wakandan culture.)

04. "Panther's Rage" - Jungle Action #6-18 (Don McGregor, Rich Buckler, and Billy Graham created what I think is safe to call the most single riveting and intense Black Panther epic in the form of Panther's Rage. It's not as much fun as Kirby's solo issues or as awe-inspiring as the Sons of the Serpent arc from Avengers, but it's amazing in its sheer length of narrative -- somewhere around 200 pages of continuous story, something which was basically unheard of at 70s Marvel. I know a lot of critics have espoused the virtues of this tale, as well as creators (Dwayne McDuffie, for example). Suffice to say I agree with them all. It's awesome.)

03. "Black Panther vs. the Sons of the Serpent" - Avengers v1 #73-74 (Roy Thomas writes a masterful two-part Avengers tale with a focus on T'Challa and his battle against the supremacist group, the Sons of the Serpent. It's one of the few BP stories that I feel successfully deals with discrimination and prejudice. However, more importantly, it's expertly crafted and exciting from start to finish. The real clincher here is #73, with pencils by Frank Giacoia. Frank is best known as an inker, but his rare turn on superhero pencils is gorgeous. Need evidence? Look no further than page 18 of #73, where BP stalks New York City at night. It's an incredible montage well ahead of its time in terms of tone and layout.)

02. "King Solomon's Frog" - Black Panther v1 #1-4 (This is a bit easier to delineate than the "Water Skin" story arc if only because it has a more distinct conclusion. These four issues fill the first half of Marvel's BP vol 1 TPB by Kirby. This arc comes second in my list of favorites because it displays the genius of Kirby's original Panther concept, while taking things to the next level of action and excitement. While BP's origin in FF #52 was fun, it wasn't as thrilling as this. Before there was Indiana Jones, there was Jack Kirby's Black Panther!)

01. "Quest for the Sacred Water Skin" - Black Panther v1 #5-7 (Sometimes it's tough to draw lines between story arcs in 60s/70s Marvel, but I've decided to lump these three issues together as an arc because they deal with the over-arching theme of T'Challa's quest to find the sacred water skin hidden in the secret City of Lost Samurai. These issues are included as the second half of Marvel's BP vol 1 TPB by Kirby. Why my top choice? Because they're simply amazing. The art, the writing, and everything about them makes for an incredible read. BP versus the Yeti. BP versus the ancient Samurai code. BP and Mister Little escape from a horde of enraged katana wielders! Too bad that few BP writers since this time have capitalized on the exciting tone Kirby displayed in this short story arc.)

That's it! Hope you liked my choices. If not, write your own in the comments.

Be back here next week for the non-Top 9 start of something very special -- Project: Basement!

The Top 9 Best Black Panther Tales, pt 1

Published

nick marino

on May 17, 2010

in The Top 9

. 0 Comments

Ch-ch-check it! This list was actually created as a submission to The Greatest Black Panther Stories Ever Told contest over on the Comics Should be Good! blog (see their top 10 choices for best BP stories).

However, since I wrote such a grand set of justifications for my choices, I thought I'd share them as a two-part The Top 9!

Oddly enough, all the choices on this first part of the list are fairly modern, whilst all of my part two selections lean towards the classic. Coincidence or conspiracy? You be the judge!

Honorable Mention: "Enemy of the State" - Black Panther v3 #6-12 (Honestly, I don't LOVE these issues like my other choices. But I do think they're important. Why? Because they took the tone established in Christopher Priest's first BP story arc and spun it into Marvel Universe reality. The revelation that Panther joined the Avengers to spy on them is twisted and hard to stomach, but it's also fascinating. While I wouldn't recommend these issues to anyone as their first Panther read, I do feel they're great for die-hard fans.)

09. "Two the Hard Way" - Black Panther v4 #10-11 (Okay, look, there are a lot of problems with Reggie Hudlin's take on the Black Panther. But these two BP-Cage team-up issues are just plain fun. Read and enjoy! There's nothing else to it.)

08. "See Wakanda and Die" - Black Panther v4 #39-41 (Eerie, disturbing, and thrilling, Jason Aaron and Jefte Palo deliver this stunning T'Challa tale as a tie-in to the Secret Invasion event. It's hard to put into words how gripping this quick story arc is... it's one of the most morbid BP tales I can think of, and definitely puts a somber end to the more happy-go-lucky Black Panther v4 series. The art is beautiful, the writing is smart, and the characters are endearing. But not TOO endearing. Black Panther and Storm become savage defenders of Wakanda who almost seem more fit for a Marvel MAX book than this mostly all-ages BP series.)

07. "Reconstruction" - Fantastic Four v1 #544-550 (This seven-part story is often overlooked by many fans, partly because it fell under the far-too-broad Initiative banner, and partly because it was a temporary dismantling of the classic Fantastic Four lineup. But that's what makes this Dwanye McDuffie, Paul Pelletier, and Rick Magyar story so much fun! BP essentially becomes the interim leader of the FF for this story arc and leads them on a massive cosmic journey. It's a rare chance to see BP rely on others in such a serious way. It's also an opportunity to see the great Dwayne McDuffie deliver his take on the Wakandan hero. Overall, I think this is the most underrated set of issues on this list. If you like big cosmic action AND the Black Panther, then you'll dig this.)

06. "World Tour" - Black Panther v4 #19-22 (T'Challa and Storm decide to spend their honeymoon by crisscrossing the globe and making alliances with other powerful Marvel characters in light of the impending events of Civil War. This story arc actually got split as a post-wedding tale and a Civil War tie-in in terms of branding and TPBs, but if you look at the issues, it's really one four-part arc. It's Hudlin at his best with T'Challa, making him clever, diplomatic, and dignified. Manuel Garcia turns in some INCREDIBLE art work that blew my mind back when I first read this story. I know Hudlin has his detractors, but even the biggest haters would be hard-pressed to hate this entire tale. Really, the only flaw is the uneven Doom characterization in #19, which is fairly negligible in my opinion.)

Be back next week for part 2 a.k.a. the thrilling continuation to The Top 9 Greatest Black Panther Tales!!!

The top 9 simple steps to making your own podcast from scratch

Published

nick marino

on March 15, 2010

in The Top 9

. 0 Comments

Recently, someone asked me to tell their friend how to start a podcast from scratch -- this person had no website, no content, no audio editing program, and no nothing except for the desire to podcast. If you find that you're in that same situation, then here's what I suggest:

9. To share your podcast online, you either need to get a webspace hosting plan or start a Libsyn (or other pay-for-podcasting) account. Personally, I recommend that you get a hosting plan, start a WordPress powered blog, and install the podPress plugin to broadcast your audio.

8. Get a USB mic or use your computer's built-in microphone.

7. To record your audio and edit stuff together, use Audacity.

6. In Audacity's "Preferences," make sure you're recording in mono. File size will be an issue down the line, and recording in mono will help keep the size down. (BTW, unless you're doing video, never record at 48.000 kHz -- always 44.100 kHz!!!)

5. For some compression and editing tips if you're using a Mac, check out my Podcast Pointers: Taking the Noise Out blog post. If you're on a PC, it's not quite as easy. SORRY! (But I do love the "Hard Limiter" effect for basic compression in the PC version of Audacity -- hope that helps.)

4. Export the edited audio out of Audacity as a .WAV or .AIF file and import it into iTunes.

3. In iTunes, set your "Import Settings" in "Preferences" to convert the imported audio into an mp3. Since podcasts normally run long and create large files, you have to make sure that the audio file isn't too huge. I suggest using mp3 settings of 80 kbs / 22.050 kHz / stereo channels / joint stereo mode / no smart encoding adjustments. (The joint stereo setting is important because it condenses the file size where possible!)

2. To get the audio file onto your webspace, you should probably use an FTP program (though some services will also offer the option to upload the audio for you -- just remember that the file may take some time to upload!). For FTP, I recommend using Filezilla. FTP is, of course, it's own beast if you've never used it before, but it's not that hard and there are tons of tutorials that can help you.

1. Anyway, there's A LOT more to it than that, but those are the basics. As a final step, I recommend that you look up some more tutorials to fine tune your podcasting experience. I have a somewhat-tutorial of my own on Google Knol called Creating a Podcast. Good luck and feel free to shoot me an email if you need any podcasting advice!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = podcasting is for lovers.

The Top 9 Rock Guitarists (According to Nick Marino, Not Scott Mervis)

Published

nick marino

on March 1, 2010

in The Top 9

. 3 Comments

All I gotta say is, "Sorry Scotty, I disagree."

9. José Luis Pardo

8. Dennis Coffey

7. Roger Troutman

6. Ray Parker, Jr.

5. Ron Wood

4. Ernie Isley

3. Eddie Van Halen

2. Steve Cropper

1. Jimi Hendrix

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = SWEET RIFF, DUDE!

The top 9 REAL reasons why Teabaggers hate Captain America

Published

nick marino

on February 22, 2010

in The Top 9

. 2 Comments

Teabaggers (*snicker*) don't really hate Captain America for using one of their own signs in his comic book. I mean, that would just be stupid AND hypocritical, right?

Here are the REAL reasons Teabaggers (I can't believe they actually call themselves that!) hate Captain America and always will:

9. Captain America drinks coffee, not tea.

8. On occassion, his comic book is written by radical left-wing super-liberals.

7. He was dead for the past couple years and missed the whole Sarah Palin thing.

6. His superhero partner is (or at least WAS) a social worker. HARLEM PORK BARREL POLITICS!

5. Captain America ran for president AND he watched Nixon kill himself.

4. There's a good chance that the A on his forehead actually stands for "frAnce."

3. His on-again/off-again Federal salary is just another example of out-of-control government spending.

2. That 90s Captain America movie totally sucked.

1. His shield is a circle, the same symbol liberals, gays, and cartoon lions use to describe life.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Patriotic

The top 9 sports that need to be added to the Olympics

Published

nick marino

on February 15, 2010

in The Top 9

. 3 Comments

Honorable mention to Bloody Knuckles. It's fun, but not quite sporting enough to be Olympic yet.

9. Thumb Wrestling - This is a true art and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's a game of psychological cunning and digit dexterity. Imagine the awesome closeups that'd be necessary to show this sport on TV. Riviting!

8. Chess - You would think this game of ultimate strategy would be part of the Olympic lineup, but, alas, it's been shunned. Looks like the World Chess Federation isn't nearly as methodical and plotting as they need to be if they can't even get a spot up there next to curling.

7. Cornhole - This is the youngest of these new age Olympic contenders. Frankly, this sport is probably way too frat house and tailgate right now for the Olympics, but it could ripe for the gaming.

6. Darts - Darts is to archery as ping pong is to tennis. So why not let darts go Olympic? Plus, this would actually be fun to watch on TV, I bet.

5. Billiards - It's the sport of hustlers and boring weird old people alike. Everyone from the toughest to the dorkiest can play billiards, thus making this potential Olympic competition rather interesting.

4. Butts Up - The ultimate "don't fuck it up!" schoolyard game. It's sort of like handball mixed with execution by firing squad.

3. Pillow Fighting - Is there anyone out there who hasn't had a pillow fight or some sort of equivalent battle? This might just be the most universal of all games; the ultimate lowest common denominator of sports. Plus, I think it'd be fun if there was a "slumber party" theme to the uniforms.

2. Bowling - Believe it or not, bowling isn't an offical Olympic sport. It's been a "demonstration sport," meaning it's often exhbited at the Olympic Games, but never for a medal.

1. Beer Pong - Shit, if the beer's the problem, then just call it cup pong or something else. Anyway, thanks to the USA being home to college students from across the Earth, imagine how many people the world over are now champions of this international sport??? Of course, it would be controversial... but that might actually cause people to watch the Olympics out of interest instead of "there's nothing else on TV" boredom.

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Olympic