Let’s just be honest about this: regardless of his incredible abilities as a performer, Michael Jackson had a mortifying plastic surgery addiction that was impossible to ignore.
I may not know much about plastic surgery, but I can’t imagine it’s something you go into casually without an endgame in mind. Mikey must of had some sort image of what he wanted to look like after all that surgery was done.
Unfortunately, we may never know exactly what MJ’s goal was with all those disturbing facial modifications, but here are my best nine guesses.
9. Superman. Okay, so MJ missed the mark if he was going for a Clark Kent vibe. But you have to admit that the chin implant is very superhero-esque. And when I think of superheroes with a strong chin line, first and foremost I think of Supes. Still, like I said, Michael Jackson wasn’t THAT reminiscent of the Man of Steel. If he was going for a DC Comics hero, he was probably aiming more towards…
8. Wonder Woman. This super Amazon is far more in line with MJ’s final appearance than the guardian of Metropolis. Jacko was obviously going for a feminine look, so maybe he took some cues from Diana of Themyscira (though, upon further scrutiny, MJ looked more like an old school Jack Kirby drawing than any DC superheroine). At the end of the day, whether aiming for Wonder Woman or not, Michael Jackson ended up looking like a…
7. Nightmare. Literally. We all know that Michael Jackson preferred Marvel Comics. And who better to take inspiration from than one of the greats: Steve Ditko. When my friend said MJ looked like a nightmare, I automatically added a capital N on the front. BTW, do me a favor and remember this entry for later on in the list, okay? Anyway, back to the current section of the countdown. MJ, after all was said and done, was far too put together to be going for a Nightmare look. In fact, I would say his desires were more along the lines of…
6. Betty Page. Seriously. With those lips and that silky black hair, MJ was totally going for a high-contrast pinup lady look. Ms. Page was, of course, the most notorious of the black and white pinups. Who better to emulate, right? Well, if Mikey was trying to look like Betty Page, unfortunately he ended up more like…
5. Elizabeth Taylor. Anyone else out there ever find it ironic that Michael Jackson was not only close friends with Elizabeth Taylor but also slowly turning into her? For what it’s worth, I thought about this even as a kid. And while this classic Hollywood starlet certainly inspired millions, I think it’s safe to say that Micheal’s eventual appearance seemed to be inspired a bit more by…
4. Cher. And I’m not talking 1970s Cher. I’m talking modern Cher, like Cher from the Believe video. Even if MJ was trying to look like Cher, he was aiming for the next octave up with his voice. Take that, Cher! When it came to looking like women, you two were tied. But when it came to sounding like women, well, Mikey had you beat there. But don’t fret Cher – at the end of the day, Mike wasn’t your doppelganger. He always reminded me more of…
3. Elvira. You know, the original sexy goth chick. We’ll never know if MJ really wanted to look like Elvira, but visual evidence certainly points in this direction. Hell, maybe he was just jealous and wanted to get the Tom Jones treatment too. But while Elvira always rocked a feathered fashion mullet, Michael appeared to prefer flowing black locks a bit closer to those of…
2. Snow White. The pale skin. The jet black hair. The big red lips. That whole song about talking to a mirror. His love for poisoned apples. Okay, that last one I made up. But the first three all are bonafide facts! Snow White is a pretty huge icon, just like Mike. Maybe he was trying to take the whole iconic thing to the next level. If that’s what his aim was, he was a bit off. Instead of capturing the pale countenance of Snow White, Michael Jackson ended up with the same complexion as…
1. Morbius, the Living Vampire. Not only did MJ have the complexion, he also had the miniature nose and the same exaggerated facial shape as Marvel’s resident anti-hero vampire. Remember when I told you to remember #7? Here’s the payoff: when I told my friend about the Nightmare reference, he agreed but felt that MJ resembled Morbius to a greater degree. And he’s right. The whole Michael Jackson look was very “Living Vampire.” And here’s some visual evidence:
More: The Top 9 Least Intimidating Supervillains
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
Recent Comments