Everything Blows with Ross and Nick #3 – Phat

Everything Blows with Ross and Nick

Ross Campbell and Nick Marino try to figure why there’s so much fan porn of the Wii Fit Trainer, which leads into a chat about asexuality and romantic identity.

she's just not that into you

Then we review Mighty Joe Young, a 1998 remake of a 1949 film about a really big gorilla. Starring Charlize Theron and Bill Paxton, we’re both stunned that this movie bombed. While the casting could have been more inclusive, it’s a pretty good superhero animal movie. Hell, it even made Ross cry.


After the end theme, we discuss comic news! Stan Lee confirms Marvel movies despite not being involved with any of them, Richard Donner and Geoff Johns will have lunch with you for $8500, and Vertigo announces a bunch of new boring comics.

22 Responses to “Everything Blows with Ross and Nick #3 – Phat”

  1. 1 Jason A

    Aw Ross, you are way too cool for DC. Though I wouldn’t balk at you getting more exposure for your work.

    Nick, I think the movie you *wanted* Mighty Joe Young to be is ‘Carnosaur’. Which Ross has totally mentioned before.

  2. 2 kaylie

    you guys are right, i think the explosion of Wii Fit Trainer porn is because everyone was going crazy that she was included as a character in the new Super Smash brothers, kind of as a joke, haha. i don’t know a lot about it myself, but a bunch of people i follow who are super into Nintendo kept talking about how there was this backlash from male gamers that another female character was added to the game, so i’d be curious as to whether that correlates somehow with the influx of Wii Trainer porn; like male gamers were outraged that they dare added another female character, and an “unimportant” one at that, so there’s this weird sexual aggression to put the character “in her place.” i’m not saying that’s necessarily what’s happening, i know guys love to draw porn of literally ANYTHING that’s supposed to be female, secondary sex characteristics or no, but i guess i’m saying i wouldn’t be surprised if that mentality had something to do with it.

    Nick, i saw the same documentary! i thought it was pretty interesting. if you want, we could discuss it a bit more in depth on our podcast if you want, although i don’t know if what i have to say would be as informed or insightful as Ross since i’m not asexual. but maybe talking about different kinds of sexuality (or non-sexuality) would be an interesting topic? or maybe it’s too loaded and just a bad idea. XD

    man, you guys made me really wanna watch Mighty Joe Young! also cracked me up with your baby gorilla noises, haha! i can’t remember who said it, but “i don’t know about gorilla babies” shoulda been the name of the podcast XD

  3. 3 nick marino

    @Kaylie: I think you’re right. There’s probably a lot subconscious sexual aggression motivating all of that fan porn. It just seems like such an odd character to hyper-sexualize.

    I finished the (A) Sexual documentary last night so yeah, let’s talk about it next week. Ironically, I’d paused the documentary right before they got into romantic distinctions, so my revelation on this episode might have come from the movie if I’d just kept watching it the first time I put it on!

    Mighty Joe Young is great if you wanna watch a big budget movie with a standard plot progression. But don’t go into it looking for funny stuff!!! It’s barely there.

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  5. 4 mark

    great episode guys. I think wii fit trainer is kind of cool :P

  6. 5 nick marino


    Why do think she’s cool?

  7. 6 mark

    she just has a cool design, very mysterious

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  9. 7 nick marino

    AN ENIGMA!!!!

    In capri pants.

  10. 8 kaylie

    they’re yoga pants, okay, Nick?! ;)

  11. 9 nick marino

    Yoga capri pants.

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  13. 10 Heather Nunnelly

    When I was younger I considered myself asexual because I never wanted to be in a relationship ever. I just had no interest. I still don’t really have an interest. I’ve pretty much made up my mind that I’m just going to be alone forever.

    Which is kind of sad in a way, not because it’s sad to be alone, but because I wouldn’t mind being in a loving relationship that’s more than being a friend. Because you don’t have to want to have sex with someone to be in love with them. I wouldn’t mind being “married” to someone, I just don’t want to be pressured into thinking I’d ever have to have sex with them sooner or later. Or even kiss them for that matter. If all I did in this imaginary relationship is play video games and watch movies, that’s A-OK with me. But, I am 100% convinced no one would understand that. That most people are not tolerate and impatient especially when it comes to me. This is despite the fact that I’ve met people who accept me for who I am. It’s weird.

    I think it’s because of the way I came up. The rape culture (This suddenly turned into a confessional) in my area was pretty heavy. Sexism was everywhere too. So, in my mind, I was useless unless I was a sexual person. That’s been ingrained in my mind and it’s hard to part.

    Anyway, thought that would be interesting to share even though it’s a little revealing.

  14. 11 Heather Nunnelly

    Came up? Grew up. Hahaha.

  15. 12 nick marino

    @Heather: Very revealing! And very interesting!!!! I’m so glad you shared it.

    Growing up, rape culture was something that was everywhere around me too. I’m sure it was nowhere as strong as it was for you but it was still a major hassle for me to unlearn all of the bad social habits I acquired growing up as a white guy in the northeast/midwest.

    I think there’s a really good chance you could find someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you. You should try out asexuality.org!! I mean, you’re in the biggest fucking city in the USA so you’ll have a lot more options where you are right now than anywhere else.

    I’ve definitely had relationships in the past with people that could’ve been committed, possibly romantic asexual realtionships… but because I grew up without any understanding of the idea or any kind of example, I never even thought of it as a possibility.

    And so I went in the opposite direction as you, where sex and love became so intertwined that it was pretty much impossible for me to separate them. I remember for years going through these friendships / relationships where I didn’t know if I was in love or if I just wanted to have sex with the person.

    (I’m not talking about Justique here, BTW. I never had any confusion about our relationship. But most of the ones before that, yes.)

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  17. 13 Heather Nunnelly

    Yeah but trying to find relationship requires so much work and I’m so lllaaazzzyyyy.

  18. 14 nick marino


  19. 15 kaylie

    very interesting POV, Heather. i can kinda relate a bit, growing up in a hostile sexual environment amd rape culture, although i was a sexual teen, like i enjoyed sexual stimuli and kinda wanted to experiment and express my sexuality, but i never met anyone i liked who also liked me, or that i ever really trusted. i hear stories about people having all these experiences with their sexuality and figuring out love and stuff as teenagers, and i’m kinda envious of that because it’s kinda like what i wanted, but i had the polar opposite. XD although i think it’s hard for me to find anyone i’m remotely compatible with on any level, even with friendship, so maybe no matter what environment i grew up in, i might still have ended up being pretty sexless.

    i also kinda relate to what you said, Nick; i don’t think i was conflating love and sex, but i think i was using sex as a way to achieve some kind of validation or fulfillment after high school when people suddenly started seeing me as attractive. as time goes on though, my personal relationship with sex seems to be changing and i feel like if for whatever reason i couldn’t have sex anymore, i wouldn’t really miss it. i think that documentary mentions something about “temporary” asexuality, and uses an artist being obsessed with something they’re working on as an example, which i also really related to.

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  21. 16 Michelle Nunnelly

    “I want to smash her vagina.” Hahaha. Oh Nick.

    My therapist once told me I was “pretending” to be asexual in a passing conversation. Knowing that she was trying to just provoke me I just corrected her but that sort of thing makes me really upset. (Maybe I should have told her that…)

    Personally, I’ve always considered myself asexual because I just didn’t understand myself or my sexuality. Through high school and most of college I honestly liked being alone and drawing. Rarely, did I ever look at another person and have any sexual desire for them. There are singers/actors that I think are physically appealing like Rihanna but I’m not sure I’d have sex with her even if she asked me in a compassionate way.

    I still struggle with all of this. Guys ask me out, some fall in love with me but I struggle to return the feelings back. It really it so hard to deal with that I simply just never think about it. I have a nasty habit of hugging and touching my friends alot because I have this deprivation of touch. In “Orange is the new Black” I believe the main character at some point admits that she looks forward to her hair cuts in prison because she can feel hands in her hair. That’s all I really long for is just touching other people…there warmth helps me realize they are alive and that I love them.

    It’s been getting easier though with therapy. I think Heather and I lived in a similar environment so most of our association with others is hostile and frightening. I hope someday I can figure it out.

  22. 17 nick marino

    @Kaylie: I’m so sorry I’m just seeing your comment now! Especially because you were so open and vulnerable. I really dunno how I missed it back in July. My bad.

    Anyway, you mentioned some stuff that I’d love to pick up on. First off, your temporary asexuality thing is really interesting to me. Have you and Rob talked about it? Is it something you both experience or has it created tension?

    And what would have been your ideal sexual experience growing up? I guess I’m interested to find out more about what you felt like you didn’t have access to. Was it a general lack of intimacy or was a specific kind of intimacy that wasn’t available to you?

    @Michelle: DAMN! Getting antagonized by your own therapist. That’s rough.

    I have so many questions about what you’ve said but I don’t feel like I have the right words. Or, to be more specific, I don’t feel like I know how to put my words in the right order to ask things correctly.

    I have a hard time personally relating what you’ve gone through in terms of intimacy and sexuality, so I’m really curious about your experiences. Like your hair cutting story, for example.

    I almost have an opposite type of thing going on, where I don’t particularly like to be touched unless there’s strong affection or sex involved. Like, in general, I don’t see much of a reason to touch another person. I’m very physical and affectionate with Justique, but that’s because it’s an expression of the romantic love I feel for her.

    I don’t even really like shaking hands with other people or hugging friends goodbye. I mean, it’s okay if it’s a really close family member of mine. Then my hug represents me telling them that I really care about them and I’ll miss them. It’s not always a sexual thing for me. But a friend or acquaintance? Nah, I don’t really wanna touch them. I just don’t see the point of it. It’s only gonna make things confusing for me.

    And it gets especially complicated for me when I have touchy friends. I start over-thinking all of our contact. Are they trying to tell me something by touching me so much? Because the only reason I’d touch them a lot is if I wanted to suggest some kind of physical attraction.

    It even gets to the point where I over-analyze touching in the silliest situations. If I’m on a subway and someone sits really close to me… are they coming onto me? Cashier touches my hand a little longer than usual when they give me my money back… are they trying to tell me something? I know it sounds silly but that’s just how my brain naturally reacts to the situation!

    I find asexuality so fascinating because 1. it was never something I knew was an option for people, and 2. it’s so drastically different from my experience. I’m always thinking about sex and it’s hard for me not to see sexuality in every person I meet. It’s like even when I try not to see sex in a situation, my brain is hardwired to think of the sexual meaning first and then I have to cognitively deconstruct those thoughts to find a non-sexual frame of reference.

  23. 18 Smars

    oh sweet lord! wii fit trainer porn?! that is the very definition of a fetish. she is such a non character. NON!

    have i mentioned that, that’s one of the best theme songs i have ever heard? ever?! :3
    bill paxton’s teeth hunh?… hm…
    well, putting the disney name on a lot of movies often hurts them.

    hollywood is problematic
    it’s so institutionalized, such an old boys club, it’s just hard for them to do anything right. it’s hard to diversify the cinematic perspective. ultimately it’s a mentality of this is the system that works for us in regards of making money, so why would we start changing stuff and risk this steady money machine.
    that’s how it looks to me, they just don’t see how bad it all is.
    thank gawd for the indy scene.

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  25. 19 nick marino

    @Smars: *blush* i’m glad you like the theme! i still hate it but i’ve gotten more good feedback about this theme than any other one so i won’t get rid of it.

  26. 20 Francisco Gruel

    Woah. I came here to write that I haven’t been in a comic book shop in three years but I went to four of them today, looking for Ross’ ninja turtle stuff and noticed a Prophet comic nearby and thought that the drawings were great and wondered what Ross and Nick thought of Stephen Platt but… this conversation is way more important.

    I was very sexual as a child. I remember when I was about five years old, I drew naked ladies and swear words on sheets of paper and hid them under my bed so I could look at them once in awhile. My mom found them and destroyed them! What the fuck! I have a 10 month old son now and I can’t imagine destroying any art that creates.

  27. 21 Francisco Gruel

    That he creates.

  28. AudioShocker Shoutouts!

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  29. 22 nick marino

    Fraaaaaaannnnncciiisscccoooooo!!!!! It’s almost a year since your last mysterious appearance on the AudioShocker!

    I don’t think Ross and I have ever had a Splatt conversation before, but we should. Last I remember, Prophet #1 is available for free on ComiXology, so we could read and review it on a future episode. I’d dig that!

    Is your mom an artist? I think people who aren’t artists have a hard time understanding why artists get so upset when someone messes with their art.

    One of my most vivid childhood memories is from a sleepover at my cousin’s house. We were joking around, throwing dirty laundry into the ceiling fan and jumping around the room. Eventually he picked up a character I’d drawn earlier that day, crumpled it up, and threw it into the fan too. I saw red. I leaped at him, grabbed him by the throat, and tackled him to the ground.

    “Don’t you ever mess with my fucking art ever again!!! Understood?!?”

    He was in shock. He was nearly two heads taller than me and way stronger. Somehow fucking with my art had given me a shot of adrenaline and some serious moxie because all he did was gulp and nod his head yes.

    I remember that being a defining moment in my decision to become an artist, realizing that I was willing to get violent to protect my art.

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