Nick shamelessly promotes his upcoming convention appearances, the new AudioShocker Store, and his new comic book, Time Log. Then it's sexting, Kick-Ass, Shelfworthy in an iPad commercial?, Terry Crews Old Spice commercials, the AudioShocker Comic Book Trivia Contest rules, mercenary movies, and Neal loves I Love You Man.
Monthly Archive for April, 2010Page 2 of 3
Last Saturday I stayed in, drank a couple Bud Light tallboys and fell asleep around midnight. As such, I did not catch this terminal abomination of a live performance by Ke$ha. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of waking up and watching it. Nothing can undo what has been done here:
Really, where to begin? The American flag cape. Dancers + band in spacesuits. Overdone sing-songy vocals (plus autotune) that try to make her sound younger/ditzier than she really is. Did I mention the half-assed robot-arm swing in there too (these guys totally trumped Bieber's shitty road crew, which is impressive)? A total inability to sing/dance at the same time. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, and the lyrics are basically a string of urban dictionary entries. Why is this girl popular? Not mention, the single came out during the summer, what is she doing on SNL NOW?
The laser light thing -- that actually had the potential to be cool. But instead of using a theremin, which would have been 400% gangster, we got a lame party laser. That was the last straw. I mean really, how on earth is autotune more gangster than a theremin?!
I did a little wiki-research and it looks like this Ke$ha girl's initial 'breakout' was doing the hook on a Flo-Rida's even crappier cover of You Spin Me Round? There was a big long page of credits and history, but the main references that hit me were: Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, and Pitbull --- hardly musical relationships that I would consider worthwhile.
So, excuse me while I don my hater hat and pass judgement here: Ke$ha, this was a bad performance, a bad song, and bad in general. To quote a recent meme from b-school: you need to GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
The time is now!!! The Time Log one-shot, Zombie Palin edition two ashcan, and the Super Haters ashcans are here!
You can pick up these bad boys at the Pittsburgh Comicon or SPACE in Columbus next weekend (yes, the same weekend). And more show announcements are coming soon.
But, even before the shows hit, you'll be able to order your copies of these beauties right here on the AudioShocker site, along with kick ass shirts as well. Just check back by Monday to see the brand new AudioShocker Store!!!
EDIT: The AudioShocker Store has arrived!!! Feed its insatiable hunger with your hard earned dollars!
I'm writing this post, as usual, at a time which barely qualifies as on-time. As usual, I've got the usual excuses, though it seems pertinent enough that in another week, graduate school will no longer be an available excuse. (In the meantime, I will mention that I was busy this week assembling the most recent online issue of Gulf Stream Magazine -- my main success in the coding of this one, incidentally, was finally figuring out how to center a horizontal list with CSS (the biggest flaw--to my mind--in Online #2).) That's right, I'm--barring any last minute complications--graduating. So now I'll never mention graduate school ever again. Luckily, though, I'm starting a job right away (co-founding a new poetry festival in Miami), so I'll have plenty of fresh excuses for not getting these articles written on time.
Not that I have all that much to write about at this point. What I've been thinking about this week--and many of these thoughts developed last week while I was in Denver, Colorado (and neglecting to post an article) for the annual AWP conference, which puts something like 8,000 writers into one convention center and lets the fun commence. What it is that I was and am thinking about: I think, since beginning to write these articles a year and a half ago, I've been steadily trying to be less and less of a "hater" (I think the presence of Super Haters on the site has made it that much easier). Basically, I suppose, it comes down to not wanting to even bother with most of the culture that is out there and available to be engaged with in this country. Which doesn't mean that I haven't been negative about various things (especially towards hating itself, and irony-at-large), but I think that it really has given me what I would call a cultivated ambivalence towards almost all popular culture.
It came up for me in a conversation with a friend about poetry (which is to be expected), where I found myself arguing that it's good that lots of people in the country write what is essentially terrible poetry. Because the activity of poetry is better than the activity of watching television, and many other activities as well. Sure, sometimes bad poets are annoying and self-absorbed (of course, most good poets are also self-absorbed...), but the fact that they're doing poetry is a good thing. I'm not sure if I'd feel differently if poetry were more popular than it is--in fact, I think that if poetry was more popular, America would be a better place. But my friend was rather shocked at my stance, since I'm also something of an unrepentant cultural elitist, so how could I claim to support so many bad artists in their quest to make art which turns out to be bad?
Am I just being condescending? I don't mean to at all claim that my writing is any good; really, I support myself as a poet, good or bad. On some level, there's really no such thing as "good" or "bad," if one just looks at the activity taking place. For example: Capitalism is evil and destroying humanity and much of the planet's ability to support human-like forms of life. So, insofar as an activity doesn't participate in actively destroying the world, it doesn't matter what it's value-as-an-output is. So long as you write your poems in a green-friendly way (on recycled paper, with responsible ink, etc.) it doesn't matter what they say. There's nothing really to talk about, content-wise.
So, in a similar vein, admitting that there's something to talk about for products of popular corporate-sponsored culture already allows it too much sway. Hating is participatory, so already more harmful than ignorance. Which isn't to say that I haven't spent a bit of time watching television in the past handful of months, but it's been dipping steadily (and Conan leaving late night helped that out quite a bit, since that was the last time slot that I still found myself turning the tube on). The main thing that's finally pushing me to actually just getting rid of the TV that I own entirely are the increased presence in, say, the past six months, of advertisements by oil companies that basically say "oil is good, America" in a similar way as beef corporations say "beef is good, America" (it not being a coincidence that factory-farmed beef is as devastating to the environment as fossil fuels). So here's the last time I participate in admitting that there's such a thing as television advertisements. A list bit of hating: fuck you, oil companies (and an extra negative shout-out to Phil Mickelson for all those "partnering with ExxonMobil" commercials during The Masters (which I wound up watching in an airport bar while waiting for an hours-delayed flight out of Denver)--it is not okay to partner with ExxonMobil, for anything, ever).
I realize that ambivalence doesn't actually represent much, as far as oppositional behavior goes, but within the realm of "culture," it's got to be at least better than nothing. And if we can erase notions of good and bad when it comes to home-made or independently-made, or community-made cultural artifacts, realizing that most industrial culture is similarly devoid of actually identifiable qualities of value, then maybe everybody's cultural lives will get better.

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Okay, this Weapon of S.H.I.E.L.D. Month wallpaper doesn't have all the hi-res sizes as the rest of the offerings. But it does have Crimson Dynamo! Git back herr next week for a super-fierce Hyper Combo Wallpaper!
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Gentlemen Broncos gets HEAVILY debated. Seriously. The guys also recount their favorite moments and discuss the film's attempts at symbolism. And check back this weekend to read Ross and Nick's heated debate about gender in Gentlemen Broncos! Next week: the Stormcast!!!
Google Docs just introduced drawings into the mix the other day and it's pretty awesome. A few of the capabilities are exceptionally well thought out. It's not gonna replace Photoshop anytime soon, but it's very functional.
Anyway, I thought it might be a nice exercise to make a quick webcomic in Google Docs using the new drawing feature. Is it the first Google Docs comic in the known universe? Possibly. I call it The Hunger. Enjoy.
Click to enlarge.
There are two interesting, almost diametrically opposed editorial pieces out right now, one disliking the trend of "auteurism" in superhero comics, and the other in support of auteurism if it means more ambitious storytelling.
First off, lemme say that both Kyle and Chad raise great points. I agree with both of them in many respects, and that's why I'm writing this -- to propose a more balanced point of view, while, at the same time, calling out both of them for falling into something I'm going to dub the "false cult of comics creation."
Let me explain this "cult" concept I'm introducing: basically, it stands for the idea that shared-universe comic creator auteurs at Marvel and DC can even exist in the first place. I believe this is a false notion. Shared-universe superhero comic books at Marvel and DC simply can't be produced in an auteur fashion. Kyle sort of recognizes this early on in his editorial in relation to film auteurs, but seems to forget it later on while railing against what he feels is an auterial mindset at the Big Two.
The way I see it, fan perception and marketing hype make it SEEM like mainstream superhero comics have auteur creators. Tom Brevoort is just as much a part of Civil War or Death of Captain America as anyone else. How come he's not dubbed an auteur editor? Because it makes financial sense for Marvel to push the notion of Millar and Brubaker as auteurs. It's much sexier to read a comic from the "genius mind of SO-AND-SO" rather than from "the exceptionally synergistic committee of editors, writers, artists, and print production managers."
Superhero comics like Johns' Blackest Night and Millar's Civil War physically cannot be produced in an auteur fashion. There are just too many layers of creation and production in mainstream superhero comics for that to even be a consideration. So while Kyle and Chad are debating the merits of sharing the characters in the superhero sandbox with respect, they're actually failing to see that the collective sandbox is the very thing that's doing the heavy lifting here.
I believe that the auteur image is added later on when it's time to present the story to comic book readers (or, in some cases, the occasional writer actually buys into his or her own auteur image and hypes the project as their creative baby).
It's pretty well known that Civil War was plotted at creative summits (I keep going back to Civil War because Kyle dislikes its disruptive tendencies, and I think it's a good example of Millar's faux auteur image). The story was essentially dreamed up by a large group of editors and writers. Then the visuals were handed off to a team of artists, whose work was reviewed by editors, and then produced for print by a whole other team of pros. The comic itself is a product of the sandbox at large.
Again, I'm not saying that Kyle or Chad completely reject this notion, but rather that their debate is centered upon the largely false idea that auteur creators are alive and well at the Big Two. And that's sort of the problem -- the auteur thing is propagated by fans and critics as well.
Like Kyle says, criticizing the work of an auteur makes criticism easier. But it also over-simplifies the creation process. Here's a quick personal example: I recently finished work on my upcoming comic book, Time Log. I'm a co-writer, an inker, a letterer, a gray-toner, and a printing consultant. Along with me, there's another co-writer, a penciler, and a team of press operators that actually printed the damn thing.
I say all that to say this -- when someone asks me what work I did on the comic, they tend to be confused with my answer. I get follow up questions like, "so you did the art?" or "so you're the writer?" And in my case, the answer is both yes and no. I wrote it collaboratively. I worked on the art along with another artist.
Mainstream superhero comics are even more collaborative than my experience, but it's difficult to always take the time to recognize that as a fan or critic. To acknowledge the work of the many, you have to write more credits and ask more questions, and -- this is what it really comes down to -- place praise or blame on the group instead of the individual.
I used to write weekly comic book reviews, so I know how tough it is to credit everyone. As a reviewer, even though I always mentioned colorists and letterers, I always felt my weakness was that I didn't recognize the production workers or the editorial staff enough. Problem is, it takes time and effort to discuss every step of the process. Just recognizing the work of one or two perceived auteurs is so much easier.
To bring it all back home, my point it this: Chad and Kyle present interesting and informational POVs regarding the concept of superhero comic book auteurs working in modern shared universes. But their respective pieces fail to take into account the fact that these auteurs they're debating don't really exist outside of the realms of marketing, fan perception, and criticism, at least not in any significant way. When the characters, a.k.a. the toys in the sandbox, are left beat up and broken after a particular story, that's the result of collective action -- whether conscious or not -- on the part of a group of writers and editors, not just a couple of genius-level auteur creators.
That's not to say that guys like Millar and Morrison aren't auteurs in their own fashion, because they are when they're working on more independent projects. But there's simply not enough creative room in the mainstream superhero creative process for their kind to be true auteurs in a situation where every decision is being approved on multiple editorial levels and then brought to life by a crew of visual artists. It's a false notion that could easily be dispelled by better marketing, more thorough criticism, and the willingness of fans to recognize true collective effort while ignoring hype.
Neal had a thrilling weekend while Nick enjoyed Tekkoshocon. But suddenly, Hot Tub Time Machine inspires a philosophical discussion on the butterfly effect and why meddling in the past should even be an issue in time travel stories. Thoughts on Repo Men keeps it going as Conrad joins in on the fun and lays down his theory about time and alternate infinite realities. Justique starts the debate on the linear nature of time, which spins into conversation regarding the speed of light.
















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