2009 July - AudioShocker

Monthly Archive for July, 2009

The Top 9 Captains

Published

on July 31, 2009

. 0 Comments

9. Captain Kangaroo (host of the Captain Kangaroo TV show)
8. Captain Caveman (Hanna-Barbera cartoon character)
7. Captain Stabbin (porn star)
6. Captain Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
5. Cap'n Crunch (cereal mascot)
4. The Sea Captain (raunchy sailor from The Simpsons)
3. Captain Kirk (Star Trek: The Original Series)
2. Captain America (Marvel Comics character)
1. Captain Commando (former Capcom mascot and MvC fighter)

More: The Top 9 Video Games That Should Never Be Made Into Movies

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Super Haters #6 - All the Right Moves

Published

nick marino

on July 30, 2009

in Webcomics

. 4 Comments

All the Right Moves

Silber Media Minicomics MEGA REVIEW!!!

Published

nick marino

on July 30, 2009

in Comics

. 0 Comments

Okay, I've been slacking. With good reason, mind you, but slacking nonetheless. I've been telling Brian John Mitchell that I would review his most recent stack of minicomics for what feels like an eternity (in this case, eternity = a couple of months). So I present to you a MEGA REVIEW of Silber Media's latest minicomics - let the games begin!!!

Lost Kisses #9

I didn't really warm to this issue until about halfway thru. At first, I was a bit apprehensive of the concept, worried that maybe it wouldn't hold my interest all the way thru the issue. But somewhere along the line it clicked for me and I became emotionally invested in the end result. That's the way Lost Kisses always goes - Brian John Mitchell inspires confusion, disdain, and respect (in that order) every time I read this series.

This particular installment features the main character - a somewhat simplified version of the author - as he speculates on his disconnected social nature. He wants to know why the wives, husbands, boyfriends, and girlfriends of his friends don't like him. Thus begins an introspective journey that may end up forcing you to speculate on your own social relationships with friends.

Lost Kisses #10

Somewhere around the end of Lost Kisses #9 and the beginning of Lost Kisses #10, I had a mini eureka about this series: Lost Kisses is about an outsider indie artist who fantasizes about normalcy. Granted, normalcy (in this case, middle-aged American normalcy) is not necessarily an agreed upon concept, but I think you get what I'm saying - spouse, kids, full-time job, etc.

The premise is simple - the main character's friends have been saying "I love you" lately, and the main character isn't having it. Not only does he dislike saying it to acquaintances, he doesn't say it to close friends or family either. By the end, it's apparent that the main character is becoming either apathetic or accepting to the idea of saying "I love you." It's to the credit of the author that the ending grants closure but remains somewhat ambiguous.

Worms #4

I'm not gonna lie - I have a hard time connecting with Worms. It's an abstract and violent fantasy that just doesn't capture me. I appreciate the experimental narration by Brian John Mitchell and the minimalist art of Kimberlee Traub, but I'm just not drawn to this series in the same way as Lost Kisses. I dig the weird nurse-fetish thing going on, but that's about all that struck my fancy.

XO #5

This comic sits somewhere between Lost Kisses and Worms. It has the violent fantasy of Worms with the introspective and familiar narration of Lost Kisses. Accompanied by the character-driven art of Melissa Spence Gardner, XO #5 reads like an extended edition of a sick Bazooka Joe bubble gum comic, only the punchline is murder.

Occasionally, when the images become symbolic, I get confused. I think this minicomic works best when it's literal - seeing the simplistic-yet-visceral representation of this story's events really drives home the violence. It may sound odd to say it, but this issue is at its finest when the aloof narration is paired with literal interpretations of casual brutality.

Just A Man

I'm a bit speechless after reading this minicomic. I didn't expect this type of suspenseful action from the same author I know best for his Lost Kisses brand of self-depreciating introspection. Brian John Mitchell shows excellent range in his scripting of Just A Man, a badass western that epitomizes the genre while using a completely fresh medium to tell the tale.

The art by Andrew White is extremely well-matched to the plot. His slow burn style quickly switches to sketchy fury when the action ramps up. Though the art is at times impressionistic, it always conveys the necessary emotion. All in all, I'm truly impressed by this issue. It's a wonderful short story that packs a big punch in a small space.

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #8 - Profane Aliens Love Libraries

Published

nick marino

on July 29, 2009

in Podcast Episodes

. 0 Comments

INDECENT PROPOSAL part 3 has arrived! In this penultimate chapter, Ross Campbell and Nick Marino talk about Jingle All the Way, Hollow Man, Total Recall, and The Dark Knight. Then the debate opens - is there a film series where the third film is just as good or better than the previous two films? Threequels that make the cut include Gamora 3, Naked Gun 33 1/3, The Chronicles of Riddick, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Rocky 3, and Alien 3. Then Ross geeks out on the plots of Alien and Alien 3 (but not Aliens). Then the guys discuss Ross' upcoming Shadoweyes comic book, talking about YA books, all ages content, and profanity. And after the end theme, the guys talk about comics in libraries and, specifically, which of Ross' books can be found (hint: it's Water Baby).

Shove the AudioShocker podcast RSS feed into your favorite RSS reader. Review the AudioShocker on iTunes. Call the AudioShocker Comment Line at 412-567-7606 or have our comment line call you.

A Podcast with Ross and Nick #8 [36:00m]: Play Now | Download

Neal Finally Watches Patton

Published

neal

on July 29, 2009

in Movies

. 3 Comments

patton A few months ago, when I still had a real job, on/off AS commenter Tom (aka Spicoli!) said his favorite movie of all time was Patton. Embarrassed that I hadn't seen it yet, I played it off and said "really, Patton?" Then I quickly added it to my Netflix queue - and it finally came through this week.

First off, this movie is long, it clocks in around 170 minutes. Wish someone had told me that beforehand. But hey, some stories just don't fit the 120 minute Hollywood paradigm.

In short, I liked it - but it didn't move me. It's not like I had a phantom undescended testicle drop into place during the viewing or something. I didn't feel a strong desire to shout out U-S-A and enlist. If anything, you wonder how Patton succeeded at being such a huge dick for so long before getting reprimanded by Ike.

The second half was eh... I feel like all the cool stuff happened at the beginning - like in Apocalypse Now.

I was also little surprised how much the film clowns Montgomery and the British 8th. I mean, they just made that guy a total joke.

What I liked most was all the in camera work. Obviously in 1970, advanced SFX were yet to come, but nothing looks more real than a real explosion. They had tanks, and howitzers, and blew up buildings! The cinematography was on point too - you usually don't get a lot of great camera angles with tanks.

It makes no sense that we rely on CG for everything now. I was reading in the WSJ today that it took nearly 9 months to render a CG shot of Dumbledore twirling around some fire in the new HP flick. How is that cheaper or more effective than rigging up some pyrotechnics? I motion for more in camera effects. I want to see dudes in rubber monster suits with Tom Savini makeup - not some pixel shaded microchip mashup. CG is the Autotune of movies, and we all know that Jay Z declared D.O.A. a few weeks back.

Bottomline: Glad I saw it - but not the greatest movie of all time.

Am I the only one who thought George C. Scott was related to Woody Harrelson and Ed O'Neill? I see them in his look and performance. It's a bit creepy. Perhaps Woody will star in a George C. Scott biopic.

My mom just got back from Tunisia and had been telling me about all the history and battles that took place there. The thing is, I had no interest in any of it until Patton strolls through a centuries old battlefield and starts talking about the Carthaginians, Romans, and reincarnation. Clearly all history should be presented as wistful nostalgia by a poetic army general.

Oh, and do I have terrible timing or what? Both Karl Michael Vogler (Field Marshal Erwin Rommel) and Karl Malden (Gen. Omar N. Bradley) just passed (June 9 and July 1 2009).

AudioShocker Podcast #90 - Skipper Martin. Tone Rodriguez. Nuff Said.

Published

nick marino

on July 28, 2009

in Interviews and Podcast Episodes

. 1 Comment

Comic book creators Skipper Martin and Tone Rodriguez join Neal and Nick to talk about Bizarre New World, Outlaw Territory, Tyrese Gibson's Mayhem!, the San Diego Comic-Con, chinos vs. pants, and tons more. Listen for shocking revelations about Skip's first time doing the nasty, Tone's most hated form of transportation, and Neal's most hated European city. Want more? We got Tone talking about the mayhem of debuting Mayhem, Skip's adventures in screenwriting, and a boon of name drops including Michael Woods, Ellen Everett, Chris Moreno, Steve Rude, and Jim Lee.

Shove the AudioShocker podcast RSS feed into your favorite RSS reader. Review the AudioShocker on iTunes. Call the AudioShocker Comment Line at 412-567-7606 or have our comment line call you.

AudioShocker Podcast #90 [66:28m]: Play Now | Download

U.S.Agent (Mighty!) Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Published

nick marino

on July 27, 2009

in Comics and Video Games

. 1 Comment

Khoi Pham delivers mighty U.S.Agent action

DOWNLOAD WALLPAPER :: 1280 X 1024 :: 1440 X 900 :: 1600 X 1200

I bet you're really confused right now. U.S.Agent isn't in any of the Marvel vs. Capcom games, right? WRONG! John Walker just happens to be a secret character in Marvel vs. Street Fighter. Need proof? Check out my victory pics.

To play as U.S.Agent (who is just a recolored Captain America with slightly faster moves) on the PlayStation version of MvSF, highlight M. Bison on the character select screen and hold down the select button as you push any of the punch or kick buttons (depending on which button you hit, you'll get a different costume color - I think the triangle (a.k.a. default light punch) button gives you the classic black and red suit).

Thanks to Khoi Pham, Danny Miki, and Dean White for this week's U.S.Agent image (from the cover of Mighty Avengers #22). And thanks to the now defunct MySpace Comic Books for the hi-res image. This is the first part of a U.S.Agent Double Shot, so be back next Monday for another U.S.Agent Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Beatcast #34 - The Breaks by Nik Furious

Published

nick marino

on July 26, 2009

in Beatcast and Podcast Episodes

. 0 Comments

The Breaks, a garage punk song by Nik Furious. This is the fifth part of a ten part Beatcast series called Nik Furious: Then and Now. This Then song was recorded in my parents house in Nashville in the summer of 2001.

The Breaks by Nik Furious [1:25m]: Play Now | Download

The Top 9 Comics That Won't Get Announced at Comic-Con This Year

Published

nick marino

on July 24, 2009

in The Top 9

. 0 Comments

It's that time of year again! Exciting announcements of future projects will be flowing fast and furious out of the 2009 San Diego Comic-Con International as the comic book publishing industry celebrates hardcore for the entire weekend.

First and foremost, fans wait with baited beath to find out WHO will be writing and drawing WHAT over the course of the next year. The following nine comic books are the last things you will hear announced at this year's SDCC.

9. Just Imagine Rob Liefeld's DC Universe. They let Stan Lee do it, but what if DC Comics decided to get extra awesome and let the infamous Mr. Liefeld "create" all their characters? Not gonna happen. But honestly, if it did, I would buy it. I like Rob's stuff. All I'm saying is that DC is waaay too conservative with their characters to let this happen. Marvel sort of did it with Heroes Reborn, but that was a big chunk of Image Comics creators and not just the Robster. Most of all, I would love to see his extreme costume design for Wonder Woman.

8. What If... Joe Quesada Didn't Breakup Spider-Man's Marriage? In the ultimate tongue-in-cheek comics move of the century, Joey Q repents his editorial edict by writing and drawing this semi-autobiographical tale of an alternate reality where he didn't let Mary Jane make a deal with the devil to breakup her marriage to the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Don't misunderstand me - this story would actually be about Joe Q and the Bullpen, not Spider-Man. We open with Joe as he's about to send down the order to breakup Pete and Mary Jane. But at the last minute, Marvel's Editor-in-Chief has second thoughts and pulls the plug on the Mephisto Mistake before it can happen.

7. Alpha Flight: Abominable Fury. Who's the baddest beast of them all? The Canadian wilderness turns into a wrestling ring as Sasquatch, Wendigo, the real Bigfoot, the (supposedly) original Yeti, and the long-lost Abominable Snowman throwdown. Featuring guest appearances by Beast, Dark Beast, and Wolverine, this is the comic book for big furry action lovers everywhere. Written and drawn by Richard Corben, this will hit shelves by Halloween 2010.

6. Aquaman: Birthright. Orange scaled shirts and shiny green pants with leg fins were never cooler!!! Matt Fraction jumps ship and makes a splash at DC Comics with his epic reinvention of Arthur Curry's origin. After kicking back a few beers with Somali pirates in international waters, Aquaman decides to go on a quest to rediscover his roots and claim his title as the king of the seas. Awesomeness ensues.

5. The Clobama Saga. That's pronounced "KLO-BAH-MAH," in case you were wondering. The concept? Barack Obama is actually a clone of Peter Parker, and his mysterious creator has just reactivated his biological programming - to destroy Spider-Man and take his place!!! The motivation? To put Obama in yet another shameless comic created just to move units. The result? A completely incoherent narrative event that spans six months of Amazing Spider-Man issues and fourteen different spin-off miniseries.

4. Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles. In honor of the 25th anniversary of Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mirage Studios has decided to take the TMNT into the future. In an epic story event akin to The Dark Knight Returns, the Ninja Turtles are forced to redefine their role in New York City as they enter their mid 30s. This radical departure spins directly into Mid-Life Crisis Mutant Ninja Turtles, a story tentatively planned for 2034.

3. Captain America: Redead. Spinning out of the shocking events of Captain America: Reborn, Steve Rogers has returned from the dead... only to die again! First he was frozen in ice, then he was unstuck in time, and now he's lost in the land of the dead. Captain America fought the good fight, but this time it's really it - dead means dead. And in this case, dead also means a new overpriced miniseries! Written by Robert Kirkman and drawn by Arthur Suydam, this moving tale details the exploits of Steve Rogers as he brings his unique brand of justice to the afterlife.

2. Hellboy vs. KISS. The Nazi-spawned demon versus the Knights In Satan's Service!!! Artist Mike Mignola teams up with writer Gene Simmons to chronicle the intense misadventure that begins when Hellboy is sent to investigate an occult occurrence at a KISS concert. The rockers get angry when Hellboy steps onstage by mistake and steals the show. Then all fo them fight... and then they team up to take down a reborn ghoul who threatens the very fabric of time and space!

1. Spider-Man Forever. In an unprecedented move, Steve Ditko drops his indifference to Peter Parker and re-embraces the famous web-slinging superhero that he co-created. Just like Chris Claremont on X-Men Forever, Steve picks his story up immediately following the events of his last Spidey issue, Amazing Spider-Man #38. Where the story goes from there, who fucking knows? This book is never gonna happen so I see no point in rampant speculation.

More: The Top 9 Guesses at What the Fuck Is Going on with Captain America

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.