Monthly Archive for May, 2009Page 2 of 4

The Top 9 Ways the Economic Recession Has Affected the AudioShocker

It's sad but true. Even a financial stalwart like the AudioShocker has buckled under the pressure of the economic crisis. Here are the Top 9 crazy events that have transpired due to monetary doom sweeping across all of America.

9. Ross Campbell wants us to pay him to do podcast interviews from now on. (C'mon, Ross... the damn things are already shameless fucking self-promotion!)

8. To save money on multimedia expenses, we almost changed our catchphrase to "Music. Movie. Comic. A little bit of media here and there is sort of our thing."

7. To save even more money, we almost changed our catchphrase to "iMeem. Hulu. Zuda. Free media is DEFINITELY our thing."

6. Gotham Chopra stopped hanging around the blog because his comic books all turned to liquid. (Get it!?! Virgin Comics = Liquid Comics! They used to be in print and now they're just online! ... Okay, fine, you win - the joke sucked.)

5. Justique has a whole lot less extra cash to spend on pornography. (She's down to about $200 per day.)

4. Nick has even less extra cash to spend on hookers. (He's down to about $2 per week... but DAMN that prosthetic handjob is worth every penny!)

3. Kirsten stopped commenting on Pete's blog posts because she was too busy earning some extra money on the side working as a high-paid lesbian escort (see this incriminating photo for evidence).

2. Neal couldn't hire the Elan Luz Rivera lookalike stripper he wanted for his birthday. (Instead, he had to settle for the Susan Sarandon lookalike GMILF from next door.)

1. We know you love the AudioShocker just the way it is, but be on the look out for our new blog name... COMING SOON: "Tampax Tampons presents the AudioShocker podcast & blog"!!! (Our new catchphrase: "We're stuffing some music, movies, and comics all up in that shit!")

More: The Top 9 Social Networks! (And how to choose the right one for you.)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Spider-Man & Captain America in MARVEL TIME

Spider-Man and Captain America

Next week: Cap makes Spidey cry like a baby.

Iron Man by Len Kaminski - Best Kept Secret in Superhero Comics?

In the 20 plus years I've actively been reading comic books, I never remember hearing anyone recommend Len Kaminski's giant-sized run on Iron Man. Granted, at the time of his work, I was still a kid. But I was a kid that read a lot of comic books! And since I've grown into a man (a quite sexy one, at that), I've still never heard a word-of-mouth peep about the work of Kaminski on the Armored Avenger.

So let me be the first person that I know of to go on record by saying that Len Kaminski's run on Iron Man is THE SHIT. No, it's not shit… it's THE SHIT. It's smart. It's fun. It's gripping. It's awesome.

And, of course, Kaminski didn't do it alone. Len had some excellent collaborators in the form of Kevin Hopgood and Tom Morgan. With Hopgood, Kaminski co-created the War Machine armor (and, in turn, the superhero War Machine). Not being a huge Shellhead history buff in my early years, I had no idea that Tony Stark originally piloted the War Machine himself (albeit for only a few issues) previous to Jim Rhodes. (Tony's War Machine was different, though, and by the time Rhodey stepped into the suit, it had upgraded.)

With Tom Morgan, Kaminski closed out his amazing run of Iron Man tales, attempting some rather ambitious storylines including an early adventure (literally) on the Internet and a "fantastic voyage" into Captain America's bloodstream (via the science of Hank Pym, naturally). Morgan also drew a few fill-in issues during Kev Hopgood's run, mixing well with Hopgood's unique artistic imprint.

So why has this run been overlooked by the fandom haunts I've frequented? Maybe it was the forums of discussion I visited. The message boards at Newsarama and Comic Book Resources tend to be full of high-turnover users who have more to say about the present than the past. At my local comic shop, none of the employees are Iron Man fanatics and none of the customers I know espouse their love for Stark Enterprises.

And then, of course, these comics came out during the 1990s. Before I proceed down this tangent of discussion, let me say that I have nothing against the comics produced during the 1990s. I love them as much as the books from any other decade. BUT many people out there – whether they've actually read comics from the last decade of the 20th century or not – bring a heap of preconceived notions to the table when discussing comics produced during the 1990s. It's generally accepted as a low period when savage success for the medium transitioned into savage decline.

While those assumptions of the 1990s hold some weight in the realm of comic book marketing and business practices, most preconceived notions about the superhero comic book content of that era are flat out wrong. True, books back then often tried to up the "gritty" quotient following Watchmen, Born Again, and The Dark Knight Returns. But many cosmic comics of that time had more colors and insane concepts than ever before (and anything since!), while attempts to explore the explosion of information technology yielded some interesting results.

The latter was where Len Kaminski shined on Iron Man. His explorations into the notions of technology in a recently information-rich business world are fascinating. Modern business vs. the demands of modern technology is a constant theme throughout Kaminski's work. And who in superhero comic books is equipped to better deal with that relationship than Tony Stark? None, of course.

I could go on for countless paragraphs about the interesting themes explored within the pages of Iron Man #278-280. I could probably write a fucking dissertation exploring the dialectical relationship between Tony Stark's human frailties and his adventures to the very boundaries of known technology only using examples from Kaminski's work. I could even accuse Google of ripping off Len Kaminski's restructuring of Stark Enterprises in Iron Man #306.

But instead of continuing endlessly in shameless praise, I'll settle for a HUGE "Thank You" to Len for his awesome work on Iron Man. Another GIANT "Thanks" goes to Kev Hopgood and Tom Morgan for the excellent imagery (along with the letters by Phil Felix and the colors by Ariane... and of course, Nel Yomtov, who edited the whole damn thing).

In closing, I'd like to extend a personal plea to all superhero comic book fans out there to go back and dig up Iron Man #278-318. Hell, you can even just start with #280 if you want (since #278-279 are Galactic Storm crossover issues). Most importantly, I challenge the tastemakers who evangelize about superhero comics on a regular basis to read Len Kaminski's run on Iron Man and see if you can restrain yourself from praising these comics up and down. I bet you can't do it.

P.S. With that said, I'd LOVE to see Marvel reunite Len Kaminski and Kevin Hopgood in time for the debut of Iron Man 2 in 2010. If we're going to see War Machine in action in that movie, I think it's only fair to bring his creators back to the Iron Man comic books, if only for a short miniseries akin to David Michelinie and Bob Layton's Legacy of Doom mini (which came out around the time of the first Iron Man flick).

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Obama Blames it on the E-E-E-Economy

Real talk, this economic situation blows. How do we get out of this rut? Where is that change we can believe in? It's in the booth spittin' hot fire! The Commander in Chief gives you the economic lowdown in a format that all you MTV kids can vibe with. Bonus: peep Blago and Palin getting down! How did SNL miss this idea? (furthermore, how late am I to this party?) And while I get that Swine Flu is current and all - when did Sham-Wow become the second most name dropped reference in hip hop?

Were any of you even ready to handle MObama coming in at 3:03? I nearly lost it people. We're talking a near miss.

Oh BTW, I'm officially on educational leave as of 4pm today and headed to the sunny beaches of Folly Beach, SC. I'll see all your broke asses in a week! ESTOY DE VACACIONES!

AudioShocker Podcast #81 - Dave Coulier's Mullet vs. Bridget the Midget

Neal gets runny at Qdoba and then he watches Wrist Cutters: A Love Story, he hates baby name books, Justique marvels at the bizarre mullet worn by Dave Coulier in Full House, Mandy Moore goes all Amanda Leigh on us, Nick believes in nut shots as contemporary American art, Katy Perry is a Zooey Deschanel that can sing (except Zooey Deschanel can also sing), the new Melanie Fiona album, Bridget the Midget and Amy Fisher do special appearances at local venues, Welcome to the NHK is an awesome anime, Neal hates falsetto, Neal read Locke and Key: Welcome to Lovecraft, Ron Howard loves Lovecraft (who loved cthulhus), Nick loves Iron Man and five free plays of Marvel vs. Capcom at the arcade and playing Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors for the first time, and Justique explains succubus vs. incubus.

Culturology 032 - Funemployment DVD Special!

So Nick? Did you wind up seeing Star Trek? Pretty good, right? Probably, like, a better movie than Wolverine was, huh? Good enough, in fact, that in the box office figures, this past weekends new should-be blockbuster release, Angels & Demons barely beat it out while Wolvie experienced his second straight weekend of precipitous decline. I wasn't about to run out to see A&D, either.

DVD Round-Up

Beyond just reading novels and generally not working, not doing much of anything at all, really, I've decided to keep my internet DVD rental service within my budget, as getting a few movies a week to watch seems to take the edge off of having so many hours a day to be so painfully aware of my own uselessness (a pretty straightfoward reaction to being jobless, I reckon). So I've finally gotten around to seeing a bunch of movies that came out sometime in the past:

Once: This wasn't terrible. As much as I haven't gone for the whole singer-songwriter thing since the first half of my sophomore year of college, the music in this was okay, and the whole notion of making a small movie about making music is one way to get me to admit that not everything sucks. It's interesting to me too, 'cause I reckon this movie did well enough last year that people will be trying to repeat the success, and make more "indie-pop" musicals or whatever. But, as generally impressed as I was with this movie, I switch right back to my more usual cynical appraising as soon as I think of the idea that there would be a market for this stuff. Not that I want to dredge up any old issues of hipsters and what they ruin (see early Culturologies for the epic hipster conversation of 2008), but I'd imagine that this, if co-opted by indie-panderers, would become a style of movie which falls ever so neatly into that category of "the new sincerity," that explicitly post-ironic or anti-ironic aesthetic mush that gives cultural credence to treacle in the process of recanting its own usually heavily ironicized worldview.

Role Models: I realize that he wasn't directly involved with this movie, but I'm gonna go ahead and make the association: Judd Apatow is ruining American comedies. There's plenty to like about Role Models (not the least of which is the fact that the above-mentioned comedy-ruiner isn't actually involved). Actually, I almost went and saw this in the theaters. There are some good jokes, and Seann William Scott is a funny guy. David Wain is a funny guy. The Jesus bit from The Ten was funny enough to make seeing something with Wain and Rudd working together a reasonable thing to do. But I can't help but feel like this movie would have been funnier if certain other movies hadn't built a certain set of expectations for character arc and nerd-comfort in comedies. Maybe it's wrong to blame other movie-makers for the badness of something unrelated, but I feel like the comparison is an obvious one to make. At least we have the eminent release of The State DVDs to look forward to.

My attitude there is also influenced by having finally gotten around to seeing Pineapple Express, which was barely funny at all, and mostly bad. And Knocked Up was unwatchable. Normally, my attitude with this online-based DVD renting is that to get my money's worth, I must watch fully (not including special features or commentary tracks) everything that I rent, but I sent back Knocked Up after watching maybe its first twenty (if that) miserable minutes. And, for comparison, I did manage to watch all of

Leonard Part 6: This is a terrible movie. The only reason I managed to get through the whole thing was that the villainess was a crazy vegetarian woman who used henchmen dressed like animals, and lots of actual animals to accomplish her nefarious plots. This thing won a ton of Razzies back in '89, deservedly so. Cosby's at his worst. But it is made worthwhile because at a crucial point, Cosby defeats the head henchman by getting him to take a bite of a hotdog, which causes the henchman's head to explode (it appears to have been filled with sawdust, I guess to keep their PG rating).

Pete Can't Believe He Hasn't Read This Before! #2: If on a winter's night a traveler

This book is probably only on your radar if you went to college, and maybe even only if you studied some amount of English literature (though it was originally written in Italian, and translated into English). Why? Because it's probably one of the better examples of the kind of book which gets labeled as "postmodern" but is actually quite good. The structure is very interesting, with ten sections each being the first few pages of different novels which a character, addressed in the second person, gets involved with in interstitial chapters, in a wild international hunt for an elusive entire book.

Those of you that did study some amount of English probably see this as being indicative of the literary atmosphere in Europe after the ground-breaking critical work of Roland Barthes and Jacques Derrida, who liberated the text from the author, the reader from the author, the text from meaning, etcetera etcetera. The poor protagonist of If, then, is a kind of atavistic fellow who just wants to read a good old fashioned book, and doesn't like all this fragmentation and historicizing of the text. There's an awful lot of heady nonsense to be said/written (of course, if we're speaking post-Derrida, then everything is "writing") about If on, which is probably why I never bothered reading it until now.

Last week, I talked a little bit about the notion of the canon, and the fact that there are many different canons of work that all exist simultaneously, as different ways to sort the same set of books (the big set being something like All The Books That Are Readable By Demographic X). If on a, to its detriment, falls into the canon of books That Are Likely To Be Talked About By Annoying Lit Majors That Think They Know Something About Stuff, when, of course, they know very little. It's a reasonable stance, especially the further one gets from having been in an American college or university, to hate what's broadly called in this country "postmodernism".

But it's a really good book! I don't often go for books that use "you" like this (see Bright Lights, Big City for another--very different--example), but it works here, as its taken to such ridiculous heights as the poor Reader tries to keep a hold on any of the books he starts to read. In the end, if I were to read some sort of philsophical or theoretical aspect into If on a winter's, it'd be that it's pro-old-fashioned reading, rather than against it, and demonstrating that, as much as Barthes and his acolytes might proclaim the author's death, the reader is never all that empowered either. Language rules (the only theory that I know that actively works with this notion that language-itself yields the power in cultural works is the still-burgeoning "meme theory" which rises out of neo-Darwinism (the word "meme" was coined by heavy-hitting evolutionist Richard Dawkins, though, in anything I've read, he hasn't returned to the concept all that much).

Next Week: Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (this might actually take me more than a week to read, since its pretty thick).

For June 1st: Philip K. Dick's A Scanner Darkly

For July 6th: Toby Barlow's Sharp Teeth

Other requests?

Morrigan Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Morrigan, the sultry Darkstalker

Morrigan shows off her impeccably shaved armpits.

DOWNLOAD WALLPAPER :: 1280 X 1024 :: 1440 X 900 :: 1600 X 1200

I know Morrigan primarily from Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of the Superheroes. In fact, I was a bit embarrassed when Ross Campbell told me she was originally from the Darkstalkers video game series.

I may have never played Darkstalkers... but that'll change soon. My copy of the first game will be arriving any day now, and if I like it, you can be sure to see more Hyper Combo Wallpapers featuring Capcom's heroes of the night.

Thanks to The Fighter's Generation for the Capcom art. Next Monday? Another Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

Click here to visit the AudioShocker Store!

Beatcast #26 - Colossal by Nik Furious

Colossal, a Nik Furious beat full of swirling horns, flowing bass, and tight drums. This song was used as the beat for the hip hop track We're So Hot Your Dog Would Rather Live With Us by the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law.

The Top 9 Reasons I Still Haven't Seen the New Star Trek Movie

Pete (and Neal) would have you believe that the new Star Trek movie is SOOOO much better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine. SUCK IT, PETE!

Just because I'm a stubborn bastard, here are the Top 9 reasons I'm still refusing to go see the Star Trek motion picture at my local cineplex.

9. The line "What do you suggest we do, Spock? Spank it!?!" appears nowhere within this film's dialogue.

8. Where's Sulu Prime? I was hoping for some hot John-Cho-on-George-Takei action.

7. I was busying watching the entirety of Star Trek: The Original Series for FREE on YouTube.

6. Patrick Stewart is in the new Wolverine movie, not the new Star Trek movie. (Granted, he's only a CG face... but he's still in there!)

5. The trailers contain no scenes whatsoever involving a Star Fleet vessel and a whale.

4. I was busy watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine for the third time.

3. According to all the trailers and previews I've seen, Uhura exists only to act as a sexy love interest. I mean, seriously, they just keep showing that same shot of her taking her shirt off. Zoe Saldana should be pissed.

2. Zachary Quinto looks like an elf, not a Vulcan.

1. There's no William Shatner cameo.

More: The Top 9 Ways to Piss Me Off in the Movie Theater! (The #1 entry on that list happened to me for my entire third viewing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine... that guy now has a special place in hell waiting for him.)

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Spider-Man & Captain America in NORMAL TIME

Spider-Man and Captain America

Can he still get his webs up at that age?