AudioShocker

And by THIS, I mean "Comic Titans Are in the Grips of the Dreaded Inflationist" by George Gene Gustines in Sunday's New York Times.

Let's start with EXHIBIT A, the article's title. We're not dealing with the "BAM! POW!" school of headlines here - I'll give it that. But this is the next worst thing. "Comic Titans"? I'll let it slide because we are talking about industry leaders. But "in the Grips of the Dreaded Inflationist"? That's just lame and stereotypical of comics that were popular four decades ago. Get it right, Gustines!

Here's my suggestion for a better headline, "Comic Book Heavy Hitters Struggle with Rising Costs and Inflation Woes." You still get the slightly dramatic feeling from "Heavy Hitters," but gone are the outdated adjectives and embarrassing hyperbole.

Now for EXHIBIT B, the opening line of the story:

Superheroes may have finally found the one force they cannot defeat: the high cost of living.

Another painfully overused writing tool in mass media articles regarding comic books is the "superheroes have finally found their match!" device. I mean, SERIOUSLY, how dumb do you think your readers are? Why can't the article cut right to the heart of story? In this case, that would be the rising costs associated with printing comics.

My suggestion? Keep it short and sweet. "In the battle of comic books versus inflation, publishers are feeling a little outmatched." You capture a bit of the energy of traditional comic book battles with the "versus" scenario, but you keep it topical. Remember, we're talking about the reality of publishing here, not the fiction of a superhero universe.

Thankfully, the article coasts along smoothly for the next few paragraphs, responsibly pulling quotes from message boards that comic book fans actually use (as opposed to getting quotes from off-topic sources... I'm looking at you, USA TODAY!).

But then, lo and behold, the next one to bring this article down to its most base level is none other than Dan Buckley, Marvel's head of publishing. I should note that I've enjoyed the work Dan's done at Marvel quite a bit, and, for all I know, he was seriously misquoted here. But regardless of my feelings, EXHIBIT C still reads:

Mr. Buckley felt that, because of comic books' origin in the world of pulp and disposable entertainment, the effort that goes into their creation is sometimes underestimated.

"Comics are a legit form of entertainment, and there are highly respected and well-paid individuals creating them," he said.

Really, Dan? I thought that you guys put a bunch of monkeys in the back and told them to throw some ink at the page... OF COURSE THERE ARE PROFESSIONALS MAKING COMICS! And did you have to call comics "a legit form of entertainment"? It sounds like you're trying to justify their existence. I don't think anyone out there is questioning the legitimacy of comics as a business right now - they see the big money flowing to and from these properties.

Thankfully, what comes next is a relief. Paul Levitz steps up with a nice quote. Most importantly, he notes the fact that Human Target, currently filming its own TV pilot, began as a backup feature... thus somewhat justifying DC's use of backups in their comics that are receiving a price increase:

Paul Levitz, the president and publisher of DC Comics, said, "We're not really doing a lot of price escalation this year. The largest thrust we've got is exploring whether or not there's a next package up that works." One of those packaging efforts is the addition of a "co-feature," as the company is describing it, to the comics that will increase to $3.99.

"We're in the middle of filming a TV pilot of 'Human Target,' which was born in Action Comics as a backup feature," Mr. Levitz said. "We have great hopes for the pilot. It reminds us that there are things you can do in the back of the book that you can't do in the front: explore the work of an artist who can't match the pace of a full-length book, or a story concept."

That makes me feel all warm, fuzzy, and respected inside.

But the ending of the article really finalizes the tone… and this ending takes the article back down a bit. We'll call this EXHIBIT D:

Mr. Kimmons, for one, appreciates the effort from DC. "If you give me an eight-page Metal Men backup, I'm going to be much more excited about that. It creates a theme for that book," he said. "You're just making it a little easier to accept a dollar increase in these times."

Not that Kimmons, a Chicago retailer, said anything wrong. But the fact that his quote was used as the ending really shows how poorly this article was structured. Mostly, it makes the overall story come off as a bit juvenile. The ending quote features a businessman complaining about "a dollar." While the complaint makes sense to comic book readers and retailers, it sounds like spilled milk to your average non-comics readers. What's a dollar compared to months of lapsed mortgage payments and serious life-lasting debt?

The fix? Instead of ending on Kimmons, end with the quote from Levitz. And when you do run the quote from Kimmons, make sure to explain the pricing structure of comic books a bit more. Maybe mention the way a range of books are priced in the industry and actually provide some figures relating to shipping and production costs. That sort of content would make this immature article far more "legit."