AudioShocker

I won't be surprised if this list is completely obsolete in two weeks.

Honorable mention to the original Aquaman (Arthur Curry). I'm not sure what the hell is going on with him right now... EDIT: The Aquaman Shrine knows what's up thanks to this Blackest Night teaser featuring a zombie who resembles a certain famous scaly-shirted DCU hero.

9. Elongated Man (Ralph Dibny). This stretchy detective met his end at the end of DC Comics' weekly 52 comic book. But he's probably the least "dead" character on this list, considering that he's been shown (however sparingly) to be active even in the afterlife.

8. Kitty Pryde. Her "death" came at the end of Joss Whedon and John Cassaday's Astonishing X-Men run. She saved the day by permanently fusing herself to a giant bullet and phasing it through the Earth. Currently hurtling thru space, she's not technically dead... but she might as well be since there's nothing anyone can do for her.

7. Sabretooth (Victor Creed). Vic was skewered by Wolverine in (the most recent) Wolverine #55. It's kind of bad timing if you ask me - Sabretooth is going to be played on the big screen in May (or tonight, on your computer, thanks to bittorrent) by Liev Schreiber. Too bad he's nowhere to be found in the Wolverine books!

6. Shredder (Oroku Saki). Mirage Comics no longer publishes a current ongoing Turtles narrative. Rather, the Tales of the TMNT series jumps around time and delivers stories from the entire timeline of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But, as far as I know, Shredder is still dead in the "present." And he's still awesome, dead or not.

5. Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz). Marty got toasted by the Human Flame in Final Crisis #1. DC had been giving J'onn the runaround for the past few years anyway, so it was no big loss when he went up in flames. He'll definitely be back at some point because he's too awesome to stay dead for too long.

4. Jean Grey. Yep, still dead... I think. Who knows with this one? Her most recent "death" was in New X-Men #150, when Wolverine stabbed her and the Phoenix force saved her and then she was promptly murdered by Magento / Xorn / none of the above. Whatever. It's always been messy when it comes to Jean.

3. Thanos. Landing in the number three spot is Thanos. Why? Because I like him, damn it! And because this is the guy who almost completely controlled the universe but decided to bitch out at the very last minute just because he felt like it. Sweet! He was later destroyed by Drax in the original Annihilation limited series.

2. Batman (Bruce Wayne). Okay, this is kind of a cheat. In Final Crisis #6 we see Bats die, and then we see him back again at the very end of Final Crisis #7. But for all intents and purposes, Bruce is dead to the DC Universe. I mean, people are "battling" for his cowl as we speak. And that's fine by me.

1. Captain America (Steve Rogers). Steve took a bullet for his country in (the most recent) Captain America #25. His mantle is currently being filled by his long-thought-dead WWII sidekick, Bucky Barnes, who was actually in an off-again on-again cryogenic deep sleep that was suspended only when the USSR wanted their "Winter Soldier" to go ice someone. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

More: The Top 9 Superheroes I DON’T Want to Hang Out With

And more: The Top 9 Supervillains I DO Want to Hang Out With

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.