Monthly Archive for March, 2009

Vote for Doctor Doom!!! AND DO IT FAST!!!

Victor von Doom

I command you heathens to VOTE FOR DOOM!

Vote for Doom! He's in a heated battle against Batman in the DC/Marvel March Madness Tournament over at Comics Should Be Good!.

C'mon, AudioShocker readers!!! Don't let Victor von Doom lose to a pretty boy punk like Bruce Wayne. Lay the smackdown with your votes!

And remember folks... the concept behind choosing the winner in the CSBG! March Madness Tournament isn't "Who would beat who in a fight?" but rather "Who is the best character?" (Which, obviously, is Doctor Doom.)

[Note: The image attached to this post? You'll be seeing more of it soon in an upcoming Hyper Combo Wallpaper!]

AudioShocker Podcast #74 - Britney Spears vs. Crimson Viper... GO!

We kick it off with a concert review of the Britney Spears Circus show in Pittsburgh featuring a special surprise interview with Britney herself... okay NOT really, but the Pussycat Dolls were there too, then we dig into the history of the Pussycat Dolls and Nicole Scherzinger, Fierce Diva Tranny Bitch too of course, Justique thinks Ciara looks like a man, Neal can't finish Rachel Getting Married, Neal enjoyed the epic Sharp Teeth werewolf poem written in free verse, Justique enjoyed The Living and the Dead graphic novel, Nick enjoyed the latest issue of the Street Fighter II Turbo comic book featuring a backup story with Crimson Viper, and more More MORE!

Culturology 025 - More Metaculturology

Culturology isn't used to posting retractions; really, I'm still not going to, but I will admit to learning several things with last week's post about Elitism and Idiocy:

1) Just because it's really easy to make fun of Neal, doesn't mean that you should. My approach sensed that a true form could be derived from poking fun at the guy that was too lazy to read Watchmen in its entirety, but really, that sort of zinging is best left relegated to the comments section, however fun, it may well distract from the content of the post itself.

2) It is very difficult to be both a) blatantly disrespectful and b) not come off like an asshole. If I had a point last week (I had several points, really), than one of them was certainly that elitists are not necessarily assholes. Of course, this is a difficult point to prove when you're going out of your way to be an asshole.

3) When dealing with "audience," whether for a single blog post or for a cultural phenomenon at large, it is very difficult to peg down exactly what you're talking about; that is, "audience" is a slippery notion, and oftentimes it slips in less-than-optimal directions.

As I think up and write out these posts on a weekly (always last minute) basis, certain themes come up time and time again. Though its mostly implied, there is a certain mission statement or set of principles behind what I've been calling Culturology. Many of these ideas have already been thematized and written about at some length, so there's some concern that in writing this right now I'm being somewhat redundant, but we're also in the midst of the worst time of year for movies, which tend to be the most obvious fodder for what I write about; thus a post like this, which mostly seems to be seeking to fill its own space, and not too worried about getting anything done.

One of the main concerns that I have, always, and this ties into my stance re: sincerity, is that any kind of cultural analysis or investigation or interpretation is always tainted by "subjective" taste to an extent that renders the "objective" notion of figuring things out impossible, or just plain false. Like what I was saying in the last couple of weeks about the notion of writing "reviews": to me, there's an essential difference between "reviewing" a given movie or album, and analyzing it to see how it works. It's the difference between saying "I like this." and "This is why I like this." Simple enough, right? Except that, at least in contemporary America, credence is generally given to the notion that everyone is a unique individual with unique individual tastes. This can't possible be the case, but at the same time, then, I can't (and don't) claim that my own interpretation is particularly unique either (and actually, if you look back across my posts thus far, you'll see quite a bit of hedging in this direction).

So Culturology, then, sees itself as generating its own audience--if I think this way, then, surely, thousands of other people think similarly as well. This is why it is offended at the notion of writing towards or appealing to the so-called "general" audience. That opinions are just driven by "subjective taste" is uninteresting because, at the level of culture, Americans are much less unique than they think they are. Of course, my ideas will be slanted towards what I think, but at the same time, since they're worried about the broader patterns of culture, operating under the assumption that these patterns are general and not unique, Culturology doesn't need to take that additional step of concerning itself with the "general audience." We all generalize before we even get started doing anything.

So it's not that I claim to objective; rather, I claim that nobody is ever really that subjective. If most cultural decisions boil down to matters of taste or aesthetics, then those opinions are themselves also analyzable, simply because of the amount of sample data available. Looking at how and why such tastes arise--and I admit, one a week to week basis I'm not always as good at this as I might be--is a different matter than simply arguing for one taste or another. The main counterargument to this that I can conceive, is that this sort of culturological structuralism is itself only a certain set of tastes, but, again, while it is itself open to a similar kind of criticism, its also deciphering a different artifact that the standard kind of broad-audience reviews. One aspect of culturology certainly is the reviewing of reviews, and we can (and have before) argue what the role of criticism (of media) and critique (criticism of criticism) are and should be, but at least, I hope, its a bit clearer now what it is exactly that I think I am doing here.

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War Machine Avengers: The Initiative Armor Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

War Machine's armor from Avengers: The Initiative!

War Machine Wallpaper - Avengers: The Initiative Armor

DOWNLOAD WALLPAPER :: 1280 X 1024 :: 1440 X 900 :: 1600 X 1200

Welcome illustrator Stefano Caselli and colorist Daniele Rudoni to the War Machine wallpaper hallowed halls of fame! They delivered this awesome interior page image of Rhodey in Avengers: The Initiative #11. It's too bad that Mr. Rhodes never got to bust it out like this in Marvel vs. Capcom series. Still, his Proton Cannon special is pretty @#$%ing sweet.

Thanks to Marvel Avalon for the image (I've been getting my hi-res scans from them for years). This is the second stunning installment of a three-part War Machine wallpaper series. Be back here next Monday for the third War Machine Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

More: War Machine Original Armor Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

And more: Classic issues of War Machine reviewed... in webcomics form!!!

Beatcast #19 - Remix the Phoenix by Nik Furious

Remix the Phoenix, an original instrumental song by Nik Furious. Sound familiar? It should. Way back in Beatcast #5, I debuted a track called Phoenix Bay. After a few months of listening to Phoenix Bay, I decided that the song was missing something(s). So I went back in and added some extra percussion and synths. Then I redid the levels. And VOILA! Phoenix Bay has become Remix the Phoenix. It's much hotter now, if you ask me.

EDIT: Sorry! This full track has been removed. But never fear! Soon you'll be able to download it on NickMarino.net. In the meantime, you can stream it here.

The Top 9 Episodes of ALF (a.k.a. the greatest TV show ever!)

Gordon Shumway

ALF is worried we're not gonna pick his favorites.

9. ALF Episode #06 - For Your Eyes Only (Season 1). The first truly funny episode in the TV series. ALF is lonely and he makes friends with a local blind woman, Jody, after calling into a radio station. Their phone friendship escalates and eventually they meet in person. This episode's shining moment strikes when ALF mistakes a glove stashed in Willy's trench coat for a severed hand.

8. ALF Episode #84 - Hooked on a Feeling (Season 4). Due to his alien physiology, Gordon Shumway can get high off of cotton... and he quickly gets addicted. He goes on a tear and devours all the cotton in the house. To make matters better, the episode features ALF hallucinating.

7. ALF Episode #49 - I'm Your Puppet (Season 2). ALF gets a ventriloquist dummy, thus creating the ultimate in meta commentary. To sweeten the deal, ALF's puppet is a parody of Paul Fusco, creator of ALF and the primary puppeteer.

6. ALF Episode #97 - When I'm Sixty-Four (Season 4). Lonely and curious about the presence of a famous Hollywood celebrity, ALF sneaks into a local nursing home and parties the night away. The change of scenery is refreshing and funny, while the supporting cast really pumps up ALF's jokes.

5. ALF Episode #24 - Weird Science (Season 1). While being completely hilarious, this episode is also frighteningly factual. ALF tells Brian that his diorama of the Solar System is incomplete - it's missing two planets beyond Pluto, Dave and Alvin. Though largely coincidental, we know now that ALF's description of the outer Solar System isn't so far-fetched.

4. ALF Episode #95 - Gimme That Old Time Religion (Season 4). ALF becomes a preacher. This religious satire is biting and ridiculous. It also produced my favorite ALF quote:

[from the Melmacian scripture according to Barry] He who burps downwind can party with me anytime.

3. ALF Episode #71 - Superstition (Season 3). ALF and the Tanners perform a traditional Melmac ceremony in the backyard wherein everyone must wear meat strapped against their bodies to atone for the reckless destruction of a history book. Classic.

2. ALF Episode #63 - Alone Again, Naturally (Season 3). Maybe it's the change of scenery. Maybe it's the ludicrous situation that ALF gets himself into. Or maybe it's the perfect combination of location, scenario, and weird wit that makes this "kidnapping" so damn funny and re-watchable.

1. ALF Episode #42 - We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert (Season 2). This episode features ALF playing paddle ball, which is probably the show's single most hilarious physical moment. Add to that the fact that this episode has the greatest use of recurring gags in the entire series (slugs), as well ALF embalming the dead Uncle Albert in peaches in the Tanner's bathtub, and you have the pinnacle of the ALF television series!

More: BREAKING NEWS: Stephen Colbert Has Twatted

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Spider-Man & Captain America in DIRTY SANCHEZ? DONKEY PUNCH.

Spider-Man and Captain America

Looking classy today, gentlemen. Very classy.

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Excessive Collateral Damage in The Spectacular Spider-Man Animated Series

I have a serious love / hate thing going on with The Spectacular Spider-Man animated series. I think the characters look great and the show has occasional moments of brilliance. At the same time, certain episodes tend to grate on me and I find the quality of storytelling to be extremely inconsistent.

But despite all this, one thing about The Spectacular Spider-Man captures my curiosity more than anything else - the mind-boggling amount of collateral damage and pedestrian danger created by Spider-Man's battles.

Spider-Man

Uh-oh... Spidey is here... run for cover!

I finished the first season around the time it ended airing last year, and I was already asking myself questions about all this destruction. Whenever Spidey gets into a public fight, he puts a serious dent in New York City. Does anyone care about this? JJJ barely ever picks up on it!

I'll use recent episodes as examples, since they're the freshest ones on my mind. In episode 205, "First Steps," Spider-Man fights Sandman multiple times, each battle escalating the insane amount of destruction. The show culminates with a brawl on an oil tanker, leading to a humongous oil spill in the waters surrounding New York City and a giant explosion that renders the tanker completely decimated.

It just seems like a little bit of maneuvering could have seriously cut down on the amount of damage that occurred. And while this installment is far more self-aware about its property destruction than some of the previous episodes, it still fails to follow up on any of the fallout from the oil spill or the ship's explosion.

In the following episode, "Growing Pains," John Jameson becomes Colonel Jupiter and goes mad with the power. Mistaking Spidey for Venom (or vise versa, really), he chases the Wallcrawler across the city and then wrecks the extravagant Solar System display at the city's science center during their ensuing fight.

Not only is a major public attraction crushed by their tussle, but Colonel Jupiter leaves huge ripples in the ground (and rooftops) every time he leaps and lands. So Spider-Man is basically leading a reckless superhuman across Manhattan, creating a deadly trail of crumbling pavement, plaster, and bricks. Never once is the enormous endangerment of lives addressed during the episode.

Rhino

Look! Rhino is breaking some stuff... big surprise.

Looking philosophically at the circumstances surrounding all the wanton destruction in this show, the story of The Spectacular Spider-Man has one central flaw - almost all the super-powered villains running around in Spidey's NYC are a direct result of his own crime fighting. Seriously. The show went out of its way in the first season to prove that Spidey was the one who escalated the level of violence and force necessary to pull off crime in NYC.

This leads me to my big unanswered question that looms greater and greater with every passing episode of this show:

If Peter Parker of The Spectacular Spider-Man believes with "great power comes great responsibility," how can he continue to operate when excessive, dangerous, and costly levels of property damage are the direct result of his war on crime in New York City?

More: Black Panther BET Animated Series Preview Video

And more: Your Two Favorite Avatar Characters Reveal Your True Inner Self

A Quick Look at the New MF DOOM, Decemberists, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs Albums

Nope. No music video review today. I am 4 types of worn out from that Culturology thing and waiting for grad school decisions to come back.

So what can I write about that is timely, perhaps SXSW? Neh. I wasn't there and I am just not that hip. (I didn't know about the Air Yeezy till January!)  But what then? Ok, I got it: a quick preview of three upcoming/recent albums that I am interested in. Disclaimer: I really have not had much time with any of these discs, my opinions are likely to change in a couple weeks.

MF DOOM - Born Like ThisMF DOOM - BORN LIKE THIS

Honestly, no Doom joint is ever going to top Rhymes Like Dimes. And, I kinda fell out of love with Doom's records after Nick's fateful 21st birthday. But I suppose all of that is irrelevant to this discussion.

Doom returns with more of those crazy ill beats that make you think "what the hell was he on?" Are you looking for more out of context narration over superhero cartoon music? Well, look no further than Cellz.

Gazillion Ear (get it?) is probably the track everyone will talk about, but it is classic Doom. In general, the collabo's aren't terribly inspiring (look out for Raekwon and Ghostface)

Still Dope does remind me of Rhymes though - if for no other reasons than because the beat is similar and I can actually make out the lyrics - of course that is probably because Doom isn't even on it.

I suppose if you are a hardcore MF fan, you will cop this regardless, but I can never dig more than 10% of a Doom album.

The Decemberists - Hazards of Love

THE DECEMBERISTS - HAZARDS OF LOVEColin Meloy and his band are all about the concept album, and Hazards is just that. A story about some starcrossed lovers set to music in the style of everyone's favorite sea shanty singers. Really, that should be enough of a description for you.

The disc starts with a three minute organ prelude track that's like a really long THX demo at the movies. After that, it all sounds like ye olde Decemberists album. Again, I have only spent about a week of discontinuous listening on this - but while I really dug the previous 4 albums, I am finding this one a bit harder to get into.

The songs are self contained, but does anyone listen to an album linearly anymore? If this were a record, or if it had visuals, or performed live - I might be more inclined towards it. As it stands, Hazards is just way too hip for me.

And another thing! I feel like The Decemberists stole their whole MO from Squonk Opera. Anyone who is anyone in Western PA knows about Squonk after all. Basically, they combine music, art, and drama into their own brand of opera. It is actually pretty fucking cool. Check out their album Inferno to get a taste.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's BlitzYEAH YEAH YEAHS - IT'S BLITZ!

Perhaps I am most excited about It's Blitz. Back when they were just coming out and Maps was burning up the charts, I was totally out of the loop, (much as I am now) but was intrigued by this tiny 3 piece band and all their energy. I think my fledgling interest in Modest Mouse helped prepare me as well.

So, what up with this disc? It left me with a number of questions that perhaps you guys can answer: Did Yeah Yeah Yeahs always use keyboards this much? Is this supposed to be an electronic dance record? Heads Will Roll and Soft Shock have me thinking Goldfrapp (or am I totally off base here?) And do I hear some Feist-y influence coming through?

But don't get it twisted. I dig the keyboards and I like Feist. It's cool how the record is all over the place. Every track (except the lead single, Zero) has a big sound, and the disc ranges from in your face to subdued (Little Shadow). Of course, subdued is relative.

So far, Dull Life is my favorite track. It has the driving guitar I was looking for and the strained Karen O vocals that I desire. And for those wanting to relive the past, Shame and Fortune recalls Gold Lion. Dragon Queen had me grooving too - but it even if it probably isn't radio hit material.

Basically, despite the truncated gestation period, I am telling you to go buy It's Blitz.

AudioShocker Podcast #73 - High Fructose Barry Rabkin: CypherStyles.com & Pittsburgh

Barry Rabkin a.k.a. BBoy Griz of CypherStyles.com joins us for a conversation on his hip hop culture influences, The Freshest Kids, IAmHipHop.com, how he started a leading international website for street dance DVDs, raving with Paul Oakenfold, Ghost in the Shell, how Hawkeye hates Peoria, how weird the Pepper Potts Iron Man costume is with its iron boobies, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, smoking formaldehyde, Rambo, the Infinity Gauntlet and the Reality Gem, Justin Bua and graffiti art, Donora, New Balance Classic 574 sneakers, the evils of high fructose corn syrup, and tons more filthy fun.

AUDIOSHOCKER PODCAST EPISODE 73 - An Interview with Barry Rabkin, CEO of CypherStyles.com

Griz, working on his B-Boy bald spot