Monthly Archive for February, 2009Page 2 of 4

The Top 9 Superheroes Who Don't Have a Solo Series Right Now (But Should Have One!)

9. Luke Cage. New Avengers may feature Carl Lucas in the lead, but the big name heroes in the book limit his face time. I want a Cage solo series wherein our invulnerable heavy hitter from Harlem handles business on his downtime.

8. Havok. He's getting a big profile bump soon in the War of Kings event, so this would be the perfect time to spin him out into his own series again. Alex Summers has already carried Mutant X on his own and he headlined X-Factor for years. Just get him back in his classic duds before he launches his new solo book!

7. Zatanna. The Bat-books need some magic. Even with Bruce Wayne MIA right now, this classic JLA hero could interact in Gotham City in interesting ways. The Arkham Asylum crowd are used to fists and gadgets. But what if they had to fight spells instead?

6. Falcon. I had an awesome idea today -- a new Marvel Two-in-One or Marvel Team Up book featuring Falcon as the reoccurring hero. Sam Wilson can fly and talk to birds, but he needs a power upgrade to handle major threats. Solution? Use his Rolodex to boost his brawn on the battlefield.

5. Sasquatch. Marvel's Canadian heavy hitter needs a new lease on stardom. Put him in his own series where he's fighting the horror creatures of the Marvel Universe. His lighthearted attitude and love for science will contrast well with fantasy themed horror elements.

4. Psylocke. Betsy Braddock needs a new modus operandi. My suggestion? A classic kung fu street series. Have her hang with Iron Fist, fight alongside Shang-Chi, and buddy up with the Daughters of the Dragon. Bring in the X-Men now and then to boost sales.

3. Joker. A supervillain (or "super villain," as DC Comics would say) series is always a tricky thing. But the Joker is a tricky kind of guy, so it just might work. With Heath Ledger's star performance as the Clown Price of Crime, Joker's profile is higher than ever -- now just put him in his own comic book full of funny and twisted tales.

2. Storm. Lucky for me, she just finished up a mini series. But I would like to see another mini lined up, or better yet, an ongoing book for this mutant weather goddess. Give Chris Claremont the writing assignment and put Aaron Lopresti on art duties.

1. Aquaman. Plain and simple. The classic DC Comics water hero, Arthur Curry. He's one of the big guns and he needs to get his own title, even if it's just a mini series! Ride that seahorse, baby, ride!!!

More: The Top 9 Marvel Universe Characters That Have Stepped Up Since Civil War!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

AIMcast 05 - Heroes Live On Houseboats

It's pretty routine for Nick and I to trade administrative AudioShocker emails around the clock. The following are excerpts from an email thread that got out of hand. It isn't really an AIMcast, but we had to share it with you.

Nick: Do you need me to do a fill-in podcast for this weekend? Make a command decision now because I need to plan for it if that's the case!
Neal
: No, we ARE podcasting! My dad leaves by 5pm. I will be clicking/ticking like MacGyver.
Nick
: okay but why like MacGyver?... I don't get it!
Neal
: MacGyver... bombs...
Nick
: He makes bombs?
Neal
: Stop analyzing! I'll be there.
Nick
: Be where? Making a bomb with MacGyver? He lives on a houseboat, you know.
Neal
: Isn't that the Highlander?
Nick
, Wow he lives on a houseboat too? So does Leon Phelps. All my heroes live on a houseboat. Wait, new band name! "All My Heroes Live on a Houseboat"
Neal
: Should do a Top 9 Houseboat Dwellers!
Nick
: Well I can only think of four off the top of my head - you got anymore?
Neal
: What about TJ from European Gigolo
Nick
: Holy SHIT! I forgot about T.J. You know, Neal, I've been holding out on you. Chuck Norris lived on a houseboat in one of his awesome action movies.

Perhaps you can help us add to our list. Who else in film or TV lives on a houseboat?

This Week's Music Videos Suck - So How About A Quickie?

Oh sorry - were you expecting a long drawn out music video review? Here is the thing. I am so unimpressed with the recent crop of videos that I just cannot bring myself to dedicate more than a sentence or two to each of them. Please enjoy these (hopefully) rare Music Video Quickies. As you may remember, I  did this last summer when FNMTV was still on.

T.I.'s Dead and Gone blows. I know this is TIP's second collaboration with Justin Timberlake, but its soooooo boring. TLC (big up to Left Eye!) and Bone Thugs and Harmony did such 'cautionary tales' way better with Waterfalls and Crossroads.

Ludacris' Nasty Girl suffers from a Plies infestation, overuse of an old line from an old Usher track, and a thoroughly unimaginative video. Let's not even discuss the total lack of bass. I mean, what the hell Luda - a LACK OF BASS? You know better than to pull that horseshit. And Plies - the iced out 'goon' ski mask - are you fucking serious? I lack words...

Asher Roth's I Love College describes maybe one of my college party experiences. Most of the parties I went too were in someone's crappy basement with no girls. And after junior year, all the kids on Beeler magically stopped having house parties. It made no sense. I get that adolescent partying is an easy genre to exploit - but the whole thing seems about 6 years too late: American Pie came out in 1999 and Old School was 2003, you know what I mean?

Chester French's She Loves Everybody deserves a positive nod - but it is overly cutesy at the same time. Also, I am done with The Neptunes. I thought the girl was AudioShocker favorite Elisha Cuthbert for the first two spins until I looked closer. Still, personal prejudices aside, this video is the most original of the bunch.

Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You oscillates between performance shots and Kelly throwing stuff out a window. To be sure, nutty chicks like this are not my style. You don't fuck crazy. That is some sage advice for all of you out there. Anyway, if you want to see a guy get hassled by his psycho girlfriend - this is the video for you.

And I'm spent. Was it good for you too?

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AudioShocker Podcast #68 - Jay Faerber on Dynamo 5 #19, Nick and Neal on Raunchy Comedy

Jay Faerber talks about Dynamo 5 #19. Spoilers abound as we discuss Myriad, Scrap, Alexander Serra, Bill Rosemann, War of Kings, Mahmud A Asrar, Ron Riley, and how everything leads up to Dynamo 5 #0.

Then Nick and Neal chat about Balls Out and the future of raunchy comedy, superhero movies have replaced sci-fi action movies, Domino Harvey is lame even with Keira Knightley, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is decent but overrated. Finally, we end the show with a debate... Monty Python vs. Mel Brooks for the title of Biggest Influence on Modern Gross Out Comedy Movies.

Culturology 019 - 3-D Recession-Era Special!

Eager to hop on the recession-era 3-D movie craze, I ran out over the weekend to see the recently-released stop motion feature Coraline. The movie had enough cred going for it in the first place, being stop-motion in the first place, and based on a book by Neil Gaiman (killer of Batman extraordinaire), but the fact that it was being projected in 3-D at my local theater made it a must-see. It may be the case that the resurgence, after a decades-long dormancy, of 3-D movies is unrelated to the current globo-economic travails (this, anyway, seems to be the commonly held opinion; that it was simply a technological breakthrough that facilitated the current craze--something to do with being able to watch 3-D for a prolonged period now without getting a headache (I did, in fact come out of the movie with something of a headache, but I also hadn't had much caffeine that day, so I can't with 100% assuredness blame the 3-D for it)), but it seems to me that a recession-era audience is primed for a ridiculous atavistic fad. But, then again, the digital 3-D thing was already happening a couple of years ago, in a time of relative prosperity (relative to post-9/11, Iraq debt times). Though, before I let my language get too jaded there, I will take a step back and appraise my own movie-going experience. There was one major pro, and one major con to the viewing experience.

The pro: The world-building of Coraline was really pretty stunning. This was the most welcome aspect of the movie, that it wasn't going for straight-up crowd-pleasing 3-D effects, but rather had truly embraced the 3-D medium to improve the look of the world. There is one particular shot (which the filmmakers them selves clearly recognized for its awesomeness, since they returned to it three times) where Coraline is walking on a path at a top of a cliff and the house where she lives can be seen down below that best exemplifies the benefit of digital 3-D, as the depth of field greatly enhanced the experience of the animation. I oftentimes found myself most drawn to these types of aspects; the stars through windows, the ability of one character to truly stand in front of another. My memory of childhood 3-D experiences (few and far between, back in the '80s), recalls only that the 3-D happened only every-so-often, and mostly then in the form of those out-of-the-screen kind of effects (this is related to that technological breakthrough, I think, that we can now sustain 3-D worlds without making the audience sick). If Coraline had moved much slower and taken more time in moving through its plot, I wouldn't have minded, given the joy of just looking at what they had made.

The con: The action, I felt, as much as it might have been enhanced by the 3-D looked blurry and ill-defined to me. The main affect of this was that only in one or two places did I feel like the stop-motion was truly featured. This may be fine for some folk, but given that without it's obvious stop-motion-ness, the movie might as well have been computer animated, this strikes me as a major drawback. I'm not sure if this has to do with the 3-Dification--that the viewer just can't see the shit as well when it's stereoscopic, or if it's a result of the additional depth of field; that is, in a normal 2-D viewing experience, the direction of the action on screen is quite clear, and the viewer is guided by the action to follow it where it goes. With the illusion of the additional dimension, the viewer loses this guide and is confused into an inability to follow the animation as well. I'd have to go back and watch Coraline a second time to see whether or not I could follow it better, knowing, at least to some extent, what was happening, but I would guess that it was as much to do with the projection as the viewing.

This brings up a larger point, as to whether or not the stop-motion animation should have been more apparent. There's something intentionally atavistic about making a movie in this way--essentially any animation can and therefore should be made on a computer. There is, of course, a spectrum of techniques, from the good-old-fashioned hand drawn, cell animated cartoon, to the hand-drawn but digitally animated, to the all-out computer animated cartoon. And, of course, good and bad examples of each. Before I make a judgment on Coraline, though, I think I also need to appraise whether or not it was intended as an animation for-adults or not. "All audiences" strikes me as something as a misnomer, as most kids' movies contain a certain number of jokes-for-guardians, since they're the ones footing the bill. There are some movies that are just not adults-only; that is, not containing any aspects which will cause the moral police to warn people against it. So "all audiences" doesn't fit there, as the film isn't necessarily "for kids" either. Most animated features are immediately pegged as being kids' movies, but, along with this 3-D craze, I also sense a greater demand for cartoons-for-adults brewing as well (this is a similar sort of calling-back to earlier times (in this case, say, 1930-1945) as the 3-D thing, since it is well known that cartoon-movies used to be as much for adults as anyone else).

There is a famous article by the great paleontologist, Stephen Jay Gould, where he looks at the "neoteny" of Mickey Mouse, showing how Mickey Mouse swiftly evolved over the years to look more and more child-like (and therefore approachable, lovable, and most importantly, marketable). Of the many evils of Walt Disney, this can perhaps be seen as one of the worst; that Disney, in a manner similar to, and pre-conditioning the later Happy Meal innovations of McDonald's, aggressively sought a young audience, realizing that the then-booming American bourgeoisie, post-World War II, would have a new amount of wealth with which to coddle their increasingly spoiled children. What this did was significantly alter the perceived audience of animated fare from the historically broad (or even specifically adult) audience to a set of middle-class parents-and-children. In more recent decades, finally, several auteurs, or also groups of dedicated animators, most notable Miyazaki (if you need a specific example, I'd say Porco Rosso may be the best obviously-for-a-grown-audience that he and his studio has made), and Pixar (granted, this is a bit more complicated since they have always been producing films under the funding-umbrella of Disney, though I would argue that neither Ratatouille nor Wall-E were intended as a "childrens'" movies as such), have re-pioneered the notion that an animated film is as legitimately filmic as any live-action venture.

It is, of course, often quite difficult to identify the intentions of any given film, re: its ideal audience, but it can be done. I can already imagine the counterargument to my claim here, though, in that it will be said that any movie that I claim is "not for kids" is more accurately a movie-for-kids that I happen to like and think is good. Maybe so, but given that I'm an adult, and a highly discerning one at that, I think maybe this isn't so bad; it is not so great a misstep for a culturologist to presume that he is as good example of a cultural audience as anyone else. The argument pro-adult-audience for Coraline is that the mood of its world-building relies on a sense of the uncanny--with the alternative world being an eerily "better" version of Coraline's actual house--which is a mainstay of the horror genre. Horror-for-kids is generally non-existent, as it would scare the shit out of them. And the book it was based on was a "YA" book, not a kids' book, so that counts for something as well. Which is not to say that I mean to say "this shit was scary, therefore it's not for kids," but rather that the uncanniness which abounds in the middle-third of the movie is a characteristic of more sophisticated fare than that of more common kids' movies.

However, the final act of the movie, where it switches gears from an uncanny discovery narrative to a find-the-bobbles action sequence betrays the sophistication of the first two acts of the film, and gives serious fuel to the argument that Coraline is, you know, for kids. Especially given that the bobble-hunt is not at all of a puzzling variety, nor a caper, but much simpler. It is hard to imagine any "sophisticated" viewer not being disappointed by this. After all of the careful world- and mood-building, Coraline is given a jewel which allows her to "see through" the artifice of the other-world, and thereby very easily gather up the magic baubles which she needed to get. There is little tension through this sequence, as the "riddle" which is presented barely lives up to the concept of trickery. It is as though the makers of Coraline realized that, given the fact that their demographic was still going to primarily be parents-and-children, they could make two-thirds of a good movie, and the parents would just be relieved that it was going to get to its ending quickly once the final sequence was started, and the kids would hardly notice (if at all) the shift anyway.

So, until an even-better 3-D animated movie is made, it will be hard to come to any final judgment on the issue. But of course, given that 3-D will almost certainly still just be a fad, we may never see it reach its full aesthetic potential. The only way, as I see it, that it will be reached, is if a studio gives backing to a filmmaker who is more thorough-goingly willing to make an animated film for a grown audience in 3-D; it strikes me that the subtler aspects of that 3-D world, which must be more appreciated by the grown audience which has the wherewithal to compare it to that which came before, are the aspect which will need to be more thoroughly refined. Maybe someone will make a 2001: A Space Odyssey style, slow-paced animated film, and then we will truly be able to see whether or not anything good will come of the current 3-D resurgence.

War Machine, Captain America, and Gray Hulk Hyper Combo Wallpaper!

This Hyper Combo Wallpaper features my three favorite playable Marvel characters from Marvel vs. Capcom. Capcom switched from Iron Man to War Machine in this fighting game, and I love the change. Captain America is a perennial favorite of mine, always holding up well against the best of characters. And Gray Hulk? Well, personally, I just like him better in his Joe Fixit colors. (Gray is Hulk's secondary costume choice in MvC... select the character using your kick buttons.)

Thanks again to The Fighter's Generation for the Capcom drawings, and be back here next Monday for another Hyper Combo Wallpaper!!!

Beatcast #16 - Lightning Storm by Nik Furious

Lightning Storm, an instrumental hip hop beat by Nik Furious. This classic is from the summer of 2005. It has also been used as the beat for Dirty Clergy by the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law, off their album Nasty Confessional.

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AFI 100 Years 100 Movies Podcast #12 - Raiders of the Stagecoach

AFI Movies Podcast

Stagecoach, Tootsie, Sullivan's Travels, Vertigo, and Raiders of the Lost Ark are on deck in our countdown of the American Film Institute 100 Years... 100 Movies list. We also talk about the YouTube hit, David After Dentist, as well as Bosom Buddies, George Lucas, Veronica Lake, and tons more.

3 Panel Reviews - X-Men: The Times and Life of Lucas Bishop #1

Is Bishop finally getting some redemption!?!

Continue reading '3 Panel Reviews - X-Men: The Times and Life of Lucas Bishop #1'

Chris Brown Vs. Rihanna - FIGHT!

Ed Note: The Database went down last night and only recently came back up. As a result, I have not had much time to edit this post. I'll be correcting and fixing things throughout the day.

I didn't watch the Grammy's, because I don't give a damn. But when I heard about the Rihanna / Chris Breezy thing, I was hardly surprised. I never bought their relationship in the first place, and it all seems rather contrived. Basically, some words were exchanged, things got a little heated, and Chris Brown went to jail for a minute or two. That's about as much as I'm willing to believe right now.

And while people the globe over are scratching their heads as to why this happened, my theory is simple: competition. Rihanna and Brown are competing brands in a market (pop music) where popularity translates directly into dollars. Whoever makes more greenbacks is clearly winning.

The thing is, the competition was unfair from the get go. Rihanna wins straight up. It is no wonder that Breezy lost his temper. Want proof? Consider the following:

Hits
If nothing else, we will always remember Rihanna for Umbrella, no doubt her best single. Chris Brown's best track? Probably Run It! - and need I mention how crucial Juelz Santana's presence was to its success? Additionally, according to the Billboard Hot 100 - Rihanna has 4 Number 1's while Chris Brown clocks in at 2.
Winner - Rihanna

Gimmicks
This is a pretty easy one to call. On one hand, you have Rihanna's weird haircuts and crazy clothes. On the other hand, you have Chris Brown's lack of fashion sense and incredibly energetic dancing. Being a clothes horse is easy - doing that weird backflip thing is kinda hard.
Winner - Chris Brown.

Sales
Not quite the same as hits. Hits is subjective - sales is definitely objective. So, lets take a look at some figures from Nielsen. If you sort through it all, you will note the following: Rihanna ranks #6 in the 2008 Top 10 Selling Digital Songs while Brown comes in at #9. She is also THE Top Selling Digital Artist - where Chris is #4. The absolute numbers may all be large, but even comparatively, Rihanna just totally murders Brown. Also - Chris has to share the credit with Jordin Sparks. This isn't applicable to regular album sales, but who still buys CDs?
Winner - Rihanna

Videos
Music videos may be less relevant now than they were 10 years ago, but that hasn't stopped anyone from making them. As a pop musician, videos are extremely important, they are how one engages new audiences. It is important to branch out and be creative. This is a place where Chris Brown could use some work. I know you are a great dancer - but is that it? It's the Usher syndrome: the only thing Chris is any good at is dancing. Meanwhile, Rihanna has kept her videos fresh, topical, and even though I don't dig some of them (Disturbia, Unfaithful, etc) they are all unique.
Winner - Rihanna

These are obviously handpicked examples, but does Chris really have anything on Rihanna? He does get more guest spots and collabos. He is on the same label as T-Pain. He can actually dance. But even with all of that, Rihanna is a bigger brand. So, is it really that suprising that come Grammy time, Chris Brown lost his temper and got into an "altercation"?

Lastly, it looks like neither Rihanna nor Chris won any of the awards they were up for. How sad is that?