Jackson as Nick Fury
While is certainly feels good to know that Sam isn't feuding with Marvel anymore, our collective thoughts now turn to bigger questions: for example, if the Formula 51 actor (no, not Formula 50, you asshats... but I bet Curtis was thinking of Formula 51 when he named his Vitamin Water... it tastes like Flintstones Vitamins, BTW...) takes Marvel Studios up on its full contractual option, which Marvel Comics will get turned into blockbuster flicks for Sam's next nine movies?
"HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS!" because here comes The Top 9 New Marvel Films Starring Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury:
9. Ant-Man. This movie has been announced, so I figure it's going to get made eventually. Sam should have a cameo in this one if only to stop by and call Hank Pym a "MUTHERFUCKER!" for slapping Janet around.
8. Thor. Again, this movie sure looks like it's going to get made (by Kenneth Branagh, nonetheless). It's the perfect opportunity to hear Sammy shout, "Hold onto your Asgardian butt, Odinson!"
7. Captain America: The First Avenger. Stupid title, but it's getting made. It'll all be worth it, however, when Sam gets to yell, "Yes these Nazis deserve to die, and I hope they BURN IN HELL!"
6. Iron Man 2. This movie should pick up where the last one left off, with Robert Downey Jr saying, "What? Join your Avenger Initiative!?! You just broke into my house!!! Fuck off, Fury!"
5. The Avengers. Again, already announced. I hope Marvel Studios picks up on the plot hints from the Ultimates 2 storyline and delivers a scene where Bruce Banner walks in on Nick Fury as he fucks the shit out of Betty Ross. "HULK SMASH SEXY EYEPATCH MAN!"
4. S.H.I.E.L.D. Recent press coverage features mention of a potential S.H.I.E.L.D. film. Go for it, Marvel! Just give me tons of Samuel L Jackson LMDs running around shouting, "Fuck you, MUTHERFUCKERs! I'm the real Nick Fury!!!"
3. Secret Warriors. Now the fun begins as I make shit up out of thin air. My first choice? A hilarious Secret Warriors laugh fest starring Samuel L Jackson. Nick Fury has just recruited the next generation of superheroes... but these kids just want to throw keggers and party all day!!! Watch as Colonel Fury tries to control these wild young recruits and turn them into the heroes of tomorrow! Co-starring Jonah Hill as The Druid, Shia Leboeuf as Hellfire, and Elisha Cuthbert as Quake.
2. Nick Fury 2: Identity Crisis. What about the first Nick Fury movie, you ask? It's already been made! Yeah, it sucked... but we have to honor past continuity. The only reasonable solution is to make a movie starring BOTH Samuel L Jackson and David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury(s) from alternate dimensions. The plot will revolve around their Wile E Coyote antics to destroy each other to claim the title of Ultimate Nick Fury.
1. Fury Vs. 007. You know you want it! Fiction's two biggest super spies duke it out with crazy gadgets and souped up sports cars. In the tradition of the mighty Marvel team-up, these two will realize they're on the same side halfway thru the movie and then go fight a common enemy: Jason Bourne, the hotshot wannabe super spy who's really just an emo amnesiac. Then, after they kick the shit out of Bourne, Nick Fury and James Bond will go tag team Betty Ross and make Bruce Banner cry again. "HULK SMASH THREESOME!"
More: The Top 9 Best Live-Action Superhero Movies!
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
i tried out a few different pictures for this post before i settled on the fantastic kilt shot you see now.
first, i made this mashup:
but i felt like it needed a little more personality, so i did this:
and then, Neal, i made this bad boy just for you... it'll get you DRUNK!
That beer bottle should be a lightsaber.
sigh... i really miss Chappelle's Show. Well, the first 2 seasons.
yeah the "lost" thing was pretty bad. i think it was just Comedy Central trying to cash in on whatever they could. what's Dave doing nowadays?
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
not sure. maybe hes doing standup in South Africa or wherever he went. COME BACK DAVE!
hahaha now i do know that he's been back from South Africa for like 3 years now at least. he just went for a short vacation.