Monthly Archive for January, 2009

3 Panel Reviews - War Machine (Vol 1) #12-14

Rhodey fights his way from Philly to Eastern Europe

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AFI 100 Years 100 Movies Podcast #11 - Silence of the Third Kind

AFI Movies Podcast

The Manchurian Candidate, Network, Silence of the Lambs, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Cabaret are next up as Conrad and Nick countdown the American Film Institutes' 100 Years... 100 Movies list and hit on related topics like My Bloody Valentine in 3D, IMAX movies, The Dark Knight, Pauly Shore, Eric Stoltz, William Holden, Liza Minelli, Big Fish, Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Sidney Lumet, Tom Harris, Barbarella, and more.

3 Panel Reviews - New Avengers #49

Luke Cage manhandles an enchanted crowbar.

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Beyonce May Be A Diva - But She Ain't No Hustler

Look Out! Neal Shyam is bringing the ruckus with a fresh music video review. Beyonce dropped new videos for Halo and Diva last week, and after viewing both, I decided to train my sights on the greater of two evils.  My assessment covers both track and video, natch.

The Track: This beat is the raunchy 90210-esque love triangle of a thuggish ruggish hard knock beat, a baby-voiced chorus, and a broken violin. If it were just the percussion, this beat would be savage. I love the drumline sound mixed with the kick of the 808. But as it is, my brain can't process all three elements at once.

You've know how cocaine is often cut with crap like baby laxative? Well here the track is the yayo, (shoutout to John Forté who just got out of lockdown. Talk about stayin alive!), while the laxatives are everything else.

The entire idea of a thugged out Beyonce track always strikes me as mildly ridiculous (This is a stickup/ You see the mask/ I need them bags of that money). Furthermore, is there anyone who doesn't already acknowledge her diva status? I get the feeling that Beyonce is facing some sort of street-cred crisis. It's as though she feels that if she doesn't release tracks like this every now and then, she'll lose her ghetto pass. Well I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news B, but if you ever had a ghetto pass - it expired the day you gerrymandered Destiny's Child around yourself and Kelly Rowland.

And I call bullshit all over the chorus. Everyone I know who calls themselves a diva is a spoiled, bratty, twelve year old acting, daddy's girl. How can you compare that with being a hustler? Diva's are high maintenence. A hustler doesn't rely on anyone but himself.

The Video: Here is my impression of the director's pitch: "Hey B, I got an idea. Let's take your recent and wildly successful video and do it over again in a warehouse with some golden mannequins." Amazing, I know.

The director, Melina, has quite a few videos to her credit (Go Girl, Just Dance, Money Maker) - but at least half of them are stinkers (Sensual Seduction, Good Good, Green Light, anything by NeYo....) Curiously, she did not direct the Single Ladies video. Which begs the question: What the fuck, when did jocking Robert Palmer's marketing strategy become cool?

And while some artists release one video at a time, Beyonce likes to drop deuces. As we discussed on the podcast yesterday, this is probably just part of the split personality / Sasha Fierce thing. Release a soulful song (Halo) and a really in your face track simultaneously (Diva). I understand it, but I also understand saturation. Single Ladies is way more popular than If I Were A Boy, to the point where only one single can be relevant at any given time. This did not work so well with the last album either, when she released 4 videos at the same time and no one knew about 3 of them. Interesting experiment though.

Here is the thing, the black, the white, the dancers, the warehouse, the mannequins, the crazy angular outfits, those ridiculous sunglasses at the beginning, I can't take it! This video is an audio-visual cacophony. I'm all for art and high fashion and dancing - but, I think I prefer B at the end of the video:  jeans, t-shirt, and a ponytail.

The Bottom Line: When was the last time your diva ass had to hustle for shit B?

FOX News claims there are "only a few black superheroes"

WTF!?! FOX News, are you drunk???

Read this article wherein Fox News claims there are only a few black superheroes and then goes on to support its claim in the worst way possible by showing tons of evidence that there are lots of black superheroes (for example, they mention the Museum of Black Superheroes).

Tom Brevoort (not known to be a huge fan of this blog) gets a quote in, but it feels like FOX News managed to choose the worst quote possible from Tom. Then the article gets quotes from a lot of guys I've never ever heard of who completely misrepresent black characters in comics. What, was it too hard to talk to Dwayne McDuffie or Christopher Priest? Or did they just know better than to let themselves get quoted by FOX News???

Erik Larsen is actually the most eloquent commentator on the subject, saying, "The characters in comics are often too ethnic for a white audience and too embarrassing for a black one." While holding a bit of hyperbole, the statement does manage to nail down a lingering problem at most major comic book companies: their black characters are trying to hard to be "black."

Basically, writers often overstress the heritage of non-white characters, especially black characters. This has not always been the case (see War Machine vol 1) nor is it a huge problem nowadays, but it does explain a lot. In particular, it explains the one thing FOX News manages to get right in this article - few black superheroes "have achieved mainstream appeal" (though Blade, Storm, and John Stewart have done pretty damn well for themselves).

Anyway, as an antidote to this madness, I would like to link to this list of black female superheroes that just goes on and on and on forever. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, FOX News!!!

UPDATE: Oh, wait, as I was typing this article they added an even more bizarre interactive image to the article. Again, WTF!?!

AudioShocker Podcast #65 - Cowboys and Lesbians

My Bloody Valentine in 3D was fun for Nick, Neal thinks Elizabeth Banks was miscast in The Uninvited, both Neal and Nick think The Last Airbender movie has been miscast too, arguing about Colin Hanks leads to arguing about Jack Black, Nick liked Sean William Scott in Balls Out but disliked Beyonce on I Am... Sasha Fierce, Neal enjoyed Tremors while Nick enjoyed X-Men: Legacy #220 (he also read Mighty Avengers #21 and War Machine #2), and Neal is almost done watching Hatuna Meuheret (Late Marriage).

Culturology 016 - Things That Go 'Punk' in the Night

For as long as the Bad Brains' song "Fearless Vampire Killers" has been one of my favorite songs, I've always been proud of the fact that the title of one of my favorite songs is "Fearless Vampire Killers." It strikes me as pretty much the perfect hardcore song: just over a minute long, with a very simple metaphor (capitalists are vampires, we kill vampires) and two riffs that work well off of each other. The fact that I like hardcore in the first place has always been somewhat mysterious to me, in that I'm fairly certain that my taste is much more aesthetically driven than it is political--though, once I started to like any punk, certainly some amount of the political influence then looped back into my aesthetics (e.g. When I was in high school, something about the sound of the band Fugazi drew me towards them, caused me to start liking them, and then, through their political stance I came myself to a stronger anti-corporate stance about music, though, again, this to needs to be weighed against the fact I already was disinclined towards Top 40 music (of all genres) aesthetically, and that aesthetic decision was then reinforced by my political decision to not listen to corporate rock (which is how I made it all the way until 2005 before hearing Radiohead's OK Computer in its entirety)).

So what are the obvious things that make hardcore (or, more broadly punk (or, more correctly, maybe hardcore-punk (or, in the case of Bad Brains, the then-burgeoning genre of metal-influenced hardcore)))? Pace, noise, anger... part of it, I think, can be understood if I also mention the main band that I liked in my adolescence, before coming to punk as a better answer to the problem of what to listen to: They Might Be Giants. The thing that I still like about them (well, still like about their old albums (cutting off right around Factory Showroom; I don't really know what they're up to these days) is the way that their vocal lines were oftentimes longer than the lines of the accompaniment--what they sang often rolls along over atop the music beneath them, usually, in fact, over-running the pace of the rest of the music. Punk, on the other hand, reverses this, where there is continual noise at the instrument level, and a more rapid-fire staccato delivery of the vocal lines, oftentimes in rather complete disconnect with the rest of the music. It may seem like a bit of stretch to identify these two musics as opposite sides of the same coin, but when you consider the ever-so-neatly-gelling interaction of music and singer in almost all popular music, these signposts of alternative options seem more similar.

Not that I'm claiming to be a punk--I've always been against aligning myself with much of anything--I could never get into the idea of having to dress a certain way or affect various personality traits in order to identify with a certain genre of music (I never liked wearing tuxes to play symphonic music either). But still, and with a due amount of tongue in my cheek, I certainly would claim to be somewhat countercultural--actually enjoying any punk (and honestly, most of it fucking sucks) certainly sets one against most other humans on the planet. And there is a certain joy in saying, in answer to the "what's your favorite song?" question, just after someone else has said "[insert Radiohead song here]," "well, one of my favorite songs is 'Fearless Vampire Killers.'" It's almost better not to mention that the "vampires" in question are the hegemonic patriarchs of capitalism.

The other good thing about hardcore is its generally difficult to turn into pop (whereas, punk, of course was notoriously easy to convert (again, my stance for the purpose of this post is aesthetic, not political; I am not currently railing against the fact that many kids out there that potentially could effectively rebel are sucked right back into the system with quasi-rebellious corporate rock (whether that was emo, nu-metal, pop-punk, or whatever)). The last time that there was any obvious dialogue with hardcore was back when grunge was the big thing, and I would argue, of course, that that was the last time that mainstream rock music was any good (other than giving Rage Against the Machine a little bit of credit).

Almost all discussions about aesthetics, however, are painfully after the fact; that is, in making any kind of argument about the quality of hardcore music against the quality of pop music, I am almost certainly just going to be rationalizing my tastes after the fact. Taste is certainly some part immanent and internal, but also, obviously, socially constructed. My enjoyment of this so-called "metal influenced hardcore" pegs me as being almost certainly white and middle class, and probably well-educated. And, again, since this argument is not political, that really doesn't matter. And most Americans prefer bland music. That's just the way it is. Is it fair to characterize their music as bland? I think so. Which is not to say that, at core, hardcore isn't bland (since the chord progressions are pretty much that same as any other (with more parallel motion and chordal progressions by half-steps and minor thirds)) for the most part as well, except for the above-mentioned example of the way the vocal lines interact with the rest of the music.

I could also tie in various other genres of music that are also similarly un-boring, but that remains the basic argument of what I'm getting at, that liking a song like "Fearless Vampire Killers" isn't nearly as political as it might seem to be when looking at what genre it falls into.

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Your Two Favorite Avatar Characters Reveal Your True Inner Self

Nick loves Uncle Iroh and Appa

Nick loves Uncle Iroh and Appa

Whew! It has been one hell of a week for me and my passionate relationship with Avatar: The Last Airbender. Last Thursday, I found out that the four main roles in the upcoming live-action Airbender trilogy would be played by white kids, discarding Inuit and Asian heritage in lieu of something (which I assume Paramount considers to be) more "marketable" to an American audience.

Insanity aside, there was an upswing to this discovery: I started talking about Avatar more. And that's always a good thing in my book (which has lots of pictures, little text, and very few pages).

All this discussion reminded me of an exercise I've been playing for the past few months. Said exercise is easy -- select your two favorite characters from Avatar: The Last Airbender and reveal your true inner self to the entire world. It sounds overly simple, but it's shockingly accurate.

Here, I'll go first:

Me:
1. Uncle Iroh
2. Appa

Now here's a few more for your consideration:

Justique (of the AudioShocker podcast):
1. Aang
2. Azula

Ross Campbell (of Soaking Luna fame):
1. Katara
2. Zuko

My brother-in-law (of Mack Trucks employ):
1. Azula
2. Toph

My day job co-worker (of webmaster trade):
1. Zuko
2. Momo

Get it? Okay, now it's your turn. Reveal your true inner being to the cosmos by naming your two favorite Avatar characters in the comments. (I would love to delve into the psychological implications of these choices right here, but I'll save that for the comments as well... along with a few celebrity predictions!)

The Top 9 Fighting Games

This is an ambitious Top 9 list mostly because I'm not a huge gamer. However, I am a rabid fan of fighting games (all fighters, of course... but this list is specifically composed of versus fighters... that's why you won't see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game on here). Granted, this will be skewed towards the Capcom fighting engine -- but that's with good reason. And I'm sorry to say that there will be glaring omissions, if only because I've played a limited selection of fighting games in my time. Still, this is a sweet list.

9. Mortal Kombat - I don't care much for this game. The playability is just whatever. However, the game is a cultural phenomenon. And it does have a few redeeming qualities, namely the fatalities. Also, the first MK movie was sweet.

8. Tekken 3 - You can't have a top fighting games list without a Tekken game. As for which Tekken to choose, that's up for debate. I don't like the arcade version of Tekken 5 and I forget the nuances of the other versions. I deferred to Justique for this decision, and she chose Tekken 3 as the best.

7. Street Fighter Alpha 3 - The playability is intriguing, with character quality ranging from painfully stiff to amazingly fluid. Even though the response time could be improved, the character sprites are terrific and the overall selection of playable characters is wonderful.

6. Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi - On the face of it, this game appears to be a subpar licensed fighter from an era of awkward 3D gameplay. But this game has everything you need -- competitive playability, decent character customization options, great unlockable characters, fun little secret tricks (like giving the characters tiny bodies and huge heads), and a solid mythology to pull from (in this case, the marketable Star Wars mythology).

5. Soulcalibur II – Exquisite playability. Great character moves, strong specials, nice looking stages, good character design, and quality response time. I think it lacks some of the finer touches of the top versus fighters on this list, but this fighting game is a modern classic and true fan favorite.

4. Marvel vs. Capcom - I went over this last week, so I won't do it all again. Suffice to say that Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is not allowed on this list. But that's no true loss as its predecessor has far stronger gameplay anyway. In fact, I would venture to say that this is Capcom's most well-rounded versus fighter: the character designs are elegant, the playability and response time are almost perfect, the customization options and unlockables are good incentives, and it's a great cast.

3. Dead or Alive 2 - Customization decadence. A plethora of unlockable costumes make this game like Barbie dolls for dudes. It certainly doesn't hurt that the gameplay is extremely strong, with a ton of awesome moves and a surprisingly diverse set of fighting styles. And don't forget about the ever-classic "age" option, which gives all the ladies giant boobies when you set it to "99."

2. Marvel Super Heroes - I'm not your average gamer. I'm a comic book fan that just happens to love fighting games, not the other way around. And this game is the ultimate in comic book fighting game indulgence. The character sprites are absolutely amazing. Sometimes I just turn on my PS1 and watch the intro to Marvel Super Heroes play over and over. The proportions, the movements, the speed - it's all there, like the heroes have come to life right off of the pages. The playability is extremely competitive and the Infinity Gems theme makes for some awesome special moves. It's almost the greatest fighting game ever, with the clear exception of...

1. Street Fighter II Turbo - Let me tell you a story. I was 11 years old. My family was on a rare overseas trip to Italy. And on this particular day, we were visiting the small mountain town of Bisenti. We started at the bottom, driving up a long spiraling road. First it was sunny, then it was rainy, then it started to hail, then it started snowing, and finally it was bright and sunny again at the top. Though Bisenti was supposed to be my ancestral home, I was bored as shit... until I stumbled into the tiny general store in the center of town and saw the Street Fighter II arcade game glowing like it dropped out of heaven. I slipped a coin into the slot, selected E. Honda, and played that game until I had to be forcibly removed from the premises. I was just a little kid but I was two characters away from beating the damn game on one coin. Two months later I was back at home, playing Street Fighter II Turbo for the first time on a console and I cleaned my friend's clock so bad that he actually started to cry. Thus began my love affair with fighting games and Street Fighter. SF II Turbo is pretty much universally accepted as the best version of this classic versus fighter, and most certainly deserving of the top honors here on the AudioShocker.

Previous: The Top 9 Playable Marvel Characters in Capcom Fighting Games!

Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.

Lost Kisses #6 mini comic review

Lost Kisses #6

Brian John Mitchell continues to confuse and surprise me in equal parts with Lost Kisses #6. While I am utterly perplexed by some of his musings, I am in awe of his brutal honesty. Writer / artist Mitchell refuses to back down from thoughts or observations that would be easily judged or labeled by others. He bares his soul to the benefit of the reader's own psychological exploration.

Notably, this issue of Lost Kisses takes things to a new level. Instead of directly extolling the good and bad elements of his own neuroses, the creator extols the good and bad virtues of the woman he loves. Is this his wife? His girlfriend? His mistress? It's irrelevant. What's important is that Mitchell is head over heels for her. Wait a minute... is he???

Flip over this comic and it provides a counterpoint argument to Mitchell's deep love. This dialectical mini comic presents cons as well as pros about the creator's lover. She has past emotional trauma and refuses to deal with it. She's overweight. She trashes the very art we're reading. But back on the other side, she's the calming force in Mitchell's life. She's stable. She's loving.

Personally, my favorite moments are when the creator introduces awkward observations into the story. Phrases such as "rogue nipple hair" and "premature saggage" will be dancing in my head for the next couple days. (Oh, and Brian, I'm over 25 and I love big boobs. Why? Because they're awesome. And big.)

On the inside front cover of the mini comic, Brian John Mitchell tells us: "Technically this issue is not a comic because the panels are individual gags rather than sequential art." I couldn't disagree more. Though the story is told through individual moments, this issue is 100% comic. The panels work extremely well when read in order, and the sum of their efforts produce a fascinating look inside the head of an insecure man who is deeply in love. 5/7

5 out of 7 Shocks

Related reviews by Nick: Lost Kisses #5Lost Kisses #4