AudioShocker

[Note: This dream was not actually last night. Blog posts have to be planned a few days in advance. I actually had this dream sometime last week. But let's pretend it happened last night, okay? Oh, and check out this other dream I had recently about working for Image and Marvel.]

It all began as I entered Blockbuster to, I assume, rent a movie. I noticed the wall facing the entrance was covered with collectibles and non-movie products. Justique went to find something for us to watch while I went to peruse this interesting wall of items.

Something caught my eye towards the bottom… action figures! I can’t resist new action figures every time I go to Target or Wal-Mart. I never buy them, but I love seeing what’s new.

The first set was He-Man related (probably due to all those damn He-Man toy posts I read on Topless Robot). The second row had a boring X-Men collection. But the last line had something unexpected — Black Panther toys!

At first, I thought I was looking at some sort of DC Universe toyline and I almost walked away. But I did a double take when I saw the Black Panther logo across the top of the packaging. The toys were part of a “Black Panther vs. the DC Universe” line of action figures. Weird!

That’s when the store clerk — none other than P. Diddy himself — came over to tell me that he personally ordered the Black Panther action figures. Apparently P. Diddy is very proud of his efforts in Blockbuster inventory ordering because he wouldn’t shut up about the damn toys.

Finally, the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy shut his damn mouth and I was able to get a look at action figures. Here’s what they had:

Black Panther vs. Superman. Superman was on the left as he leaned into T’Challa with all his might. Meanwhile, Black Panther was decked out in a navy blue and gray Superman-style costume on the right, complete with flowing Superman-style hair. All I could think was: “It’s weird that T’Challa straightened his hair just to fight Superman…”

Black Panther vs. Batman. Batman was in a leaping pose as if he was flying off a rooftop and into battle with T’Challa. The Black Panther was on the right side bracing for impact in a Dark Knight-style crouched position, decked out in red and orange. He even had a Batman-style cape and cowl. Why was T’Challa fighting these heroes in the first place, and why was he wearing poorly-colored replica costumes?

Black Panther vs. ???. Unfortunately, this is where the dream ended. P. Diddy was annoying me while I was trying to show Justique these awesome action figures. As I reached for the third package, my dream went hazy and I woke up. It would have been awesome to see T’Challa fighting Green Lantern or Hawkman. Honestly, this third toy was probably Aquaman (considering how much I love the Orange Shirted Wonder of the Seven Seas).

And that was that. Totally bizarre and totally excellent. I know there’s never going be a Black Panther vs. the DC Universe toyline, but I can always dream, right?