Traveling is not new to me. I’ve been plenty of places - but usually I don’t stay long enough to recognize persistent trends. Here are some things I’ve noticed while working in the UK this week that totally drove me up the wall:
9. Older women (30ish) are really into dying their hair red. I mean seriously red.
8. The majority of young men have spiky hair; occasionally in faux hawks. All the TV commercials are for pomade and hair clay that promise to keep your spikes straight despite helmets and noogies. This is also a popular hairstyle with the balding set.
7. Everyone wears black pants. It’s as if khakis are taboo or something. I feel like a total weirdo in my sand colored slacks.
6. UK Hotels don’t have alarm clocks.
4. The toilets here flush like Niagara Falls.
3. Dudes out here resemble really crappy Euro-trash. They love to rock white shoes with white belts. Somehow, they pull girls.
2. Cabbies speak this ridiculous patois. While technically English, it sounds like cockney gibberish.
1. There is a new brunette bartender at O’Neill’s Irish Pub in Peterborough. If you ask her for an Irish Carbomb she will charge you separately for a shot of Jameson’s, a shot of Baileys, and half a pint of Guinness. Then, she will mix them together all at once creating a curdled concoction that can only be described as ‘effing gross’. It will cost $12.
Next: The Top 9 Horror / Psychological Anime! (by Justique, nonetheless!) [The Top 9 Obscure Movie Soundtracks is postponed indefinitely!!!]
Why the Top 9? Because 10 is too many and 9 is better. 3 X 3 = Awesome. Now that’s what I call math.
three things:
3. why didn’t you tell me you were gonna do a Top 9 this week??? you probably emailed me about it last night and i just didn’t get it. nope, looking at my email right now and you didn’t. thanks neal. thanks.
2. thanks you for writing the Top 9 this week!!! i’m totally not done with my planned list and you, sir, have saved my ass. btw, this list is sweet.
1. you had #2 listed as #4. so the list went #4, #3, #4, #1. i do that almost every time i make one of these damn things. EVERY TIME. or is it EVERYTIME? i get confused about that.
see you next week, right?
Update: we went back to O’Neills last night and the same bartender served us drinks. I noticed that her right hand was all wrapped up in gauze. Apparently she burned it in the kitchen the same night we were there. That sucks - I’m starting to think she should investigate other lines of work.
neal, i just woke up from a dream where you were running a small shop in Manhattan. you sold fashionable home furnishings as well as items people might need for their bathrooms and kitchens. for example, you had different sizes of empty spritz bottles that could be used for haircare, cleaning, or even cooking. you different shapes and sizes of wicker baskets. and you had one wall of the store devoted to Anna Faris , with throw rugs hanging from the wall that depicted some of Anna’s most memorable comedy moments from her movies (as well as other Anna-themed items). in retrospect, i remain as thoroughly impressed now as i was during my dream.
haha. i do LOVE anna farris. oh - and i totally just got you the best present ever. you will flip your shit.
thanks! i’m pumped. and my movie soundtrack top 9 is pushed back even further because justique is going to write the top 9 this week. changes are reflected in the post.
a justeezy post? seriously? N U T S.