AudioShocker

In Sunday’s FNMTV post I promised a full length review of Bow Wow’s new video Marco Polo ft. Soulja Boy and I aim to please. My only regret is that I can not write a positive review. Unlike Bow Wow’s last collaboration, Girlfriend, Marco Polo just plain sucks.

The Track: Ok. Marco Polo, is that supposed to be slang? I don’t get it. The beat is ridiculous and is basically a ripoff of Jibbs’ Chain Hang Low. The speed up/slow down chorus isn’t helping either. You might be tempted to call it ‘call and response,’ but I’d like to propose something different: retarded.

Bow Wow’s last few singles have made it clear that he can’t carry a song by himself. What’s worse is that the current hiphop climate enables and encourages this. To his credit, Bow Wow does put up two verses to Soulja Boy’s one. Soulja Boy’s delivery is weak and borders on monotone at times. How this kid got a deal is beyond me. He seems content to just shit all over the track and call it a wrap.

Marco Polo is a cut and dry brag track, but it does have a couple comical lines.

Went to the mall and I blacked out / Now my closet full of J’z like a crackhouse.

This is not the matrix, but I am the Oracle. Do you want to get me with me? The question is rhetorical.

Of course there are plenty of poorly conceived lines too. ‘First one to put ice in a G Shock‘ So you put diamonds in a cheap plastic watch. How does this make you a baller? S.O.B. cause girls love the initials. last time I checked, being an SOB wasn’t sweet at all.

There is way too much name/brand dropping on this cut. I think rappers need to cut back, or at least stop promoting the same gaudy shit. Louis Vuitton peaked in the 60s. Oh, and ‘the next Will Smith’? Sure. Whatever you say.

The Video: Basically, Bow Wow and Soulja Boy are doing community service cleaning up a beach/pool. They get bored and decide to have a ‘tween beach/pool party. Marco Polo is a pool game so, that’s how they tie it back to the track.

The connection is tenuous at best, and it certainly doesn’t help that no one is actually playing Marco Polo. More importantly - when did Marco Polo become Peekaboo? And the subtitles. I think this video was made for illiterate, man-babies who need something to watch while Blue’s Clues is on hiatus. The video girls are cute and all - but I can tell that this video is definitely for the teenage set. The whole thing reminds me of a 15 year old’s MySpace inspired fantasy.

I’ve said it before, but Bow Wow really really really wishes he was T.I. He is jocking his style way too hard. He’s even trying to copy homeboy’s body language. Honestly, If I were T.I. (or T.I.P.) I would have to sue. Soulja Boy on the other hand is just the newest member of the ‘how stupid can I look on camera club’. The sunglasses, the backpack, the board ’shorts’. If you ever want to be taken seriously - wear clothes that fit. I can no longer tolerate dress sized white T’s, beaters, long shorts, and other ridiculous fashion choices. I know Bow Wow can dress better - he used to hang out with Omarion for chrissakes!

Oh, and speaking of jocking styles, when did Bow Wow start thinking he was Mike Jones? The phone number at the end was genius self promotion - but how could you rip that off 3 years after the fact?

The Bottom Line: Soulja Boy sucks. Bow Wow can’t do a solo track. This video is an embarassment to hiphop.