AudioShocker

[Note: It must have been Tuesday's news story about Robert Kirkman that inspired this dream. I was reading through the piece in the New York Times when I came upon the fact that Kirkman is 29 years old. Having just turned 26 myself, I saw my life flash before my eyes!]

My dream began in New York City. I was at some sort of art gallery show. I was there with a large portfolio (full of what, I don’t know). It was obviously a comic book themed show or I don’t think I would have been there. I met a few professionals and then I left early.

Soon after, I’m back at some country house where I’m staying for one more night until I head back to work the next day in Pittsburgh. I get a phone call. It’s a higher-up from Image Comics. They’re currently interviewing candidates to become the next Image Comics partner.

We went through a long list of questions detailing the fact that I have never published any comics (nor finished any self-produced ones). The interviewer was fascinated. He loved the notion of a raw, untested amateur becoming an Image partner. He found it compelling that I held down a day job and simply wished I were making comic books on the side.

The phone call was great. He basically left it open-ended, but essentially he told me that I had the job. Little did I know that even if that opportunity didn’t pan out, another was about to rear its awesome head…

I’m in the dank country house and I spy someone sleeping on a sofa at the other end of the first floor. I recognize him as an assistant editor from Marvel Comics (right, because I know what a lot of them look like). I bide my time, not bothering him until he comes my way. We say hi, but not too much beyond that.

Now I don’t know how I managed to be staying at the same dumpy friend’s house as this Marvel editor, but that’s irrelevant. This is a dream. And thus, as in a dream, it wasn’t long before things got more intense.

Soon a couple of hot female Marvel assistant editors were over too, drinking beers with the editor from the sofa. One of the ladies announced herself as Molly Lazer (the only female Marvel editor I know off the top of my head) and she was quite outgoing. The party saw more and more young Marvel staffers arrive until it was like a college house party. And of course, I partied too.

We all became fast friends. I told them about the Image Comics thing and they congratulated me. Then they told me about how awesome their jobs are. Still, Molly and a few others were leaving Marvel Comics for other ventures (which is actually true here in the real world). Suffice to say that they thought I would be great as a replacement.

The party got so wild that I blacked out at one point (which has also been an unfortunate truth here in the real world from time to time). When I awoke the next morning, I was in full morning-after-the-party mode. I had seemingly hooked up with someone the night before, and I had partied hard into the early morning hours. They told me stories about pouring shaving cream onto my own head and telling a joke about my nipples.

Ahhh, only in dreams could a mid-20s slacker with no comics work under his belt become an Image Comics partner and a Marvel Comics assistant editor all within the same day. It was a ridiculous dream, but it was a great dream.