I think I am a somewhat well dressed fellow considering that I live in a Midwest sinkhole. I don't rock sweatpants outside the house, my belt matches my shoes, I don't have a mullet, and I am aware of trends before they appear at Old Navy. I am definitely no Sartorialist, but no one has ever said "Wow Neal you look like shit today" either. I believe this qualifies me to say the following: gladiator sandals are ugly.
I chose to bring this up now that we are in the heat of summer. Everywhere I go, girls are rocking these ridiculous things. It reeks of Crocs. I don't understand the appeal, or the practicality of fastening and unfastening upwards of 5 buckles. They come in heels, boots, knee highs, flats, etc too. The message is: no matter what kind of shoes you like, we can make them ugly.
You need perfect legs to make the look even remotely palatable - like this, and if the shoes don't match the outfit - forget it. I imagine this trend is costing American's hundreds in pedicures. There go all those stimulus checks! Less important, considering what women will endure in the name of fashion, is the total lack of arch support. Perhaps one of our readers can inform me as to how comfortable it is to walk around in these.
I'm not a foot person and neither are most dudes I know, so your shiny complicated shoes are just a big distraction. Wouldn't you rather that people looked at your smiling face than your poorly maintained cuticles?
Here's a mantra: 2 buckles or a T-strap - it looks like crap.
frankly, my legs are perfect, and i look fucking hot rocking some gladiators. so please, don't hate.
val, being the tall girl you are, i suppose you might be able to pull it off - but the look is not for everyone. further the "4 inch clear [gladiator] heels' that you mentioned over aim are inappropriate by any and all standards.
Fabulous? I know gladiators aren't meant to be cute, but these look bloody terrible. Never found a pair of gladiator sandals on any femme 13 and up that I liked on them. What's their downfall to me? Simple- too many straps with no sense of style no matter what any lady daresay. These are big straps that are nowhere near stylish. Too many wide straps in the kind of arrangement that would make Julius Caesar happy are terrible. Flat gladiators are terrible to me. Nothing cute, nothing stylish, nothing fun, nothing attractive, or lovable... just ugly and abominable. Defend them all you want. I hate these. They look terrible. I think of most gladiator sandals as sandal alternatives to boots. And really, they're terrible. I'd rather fisherman sandals than gladiators.
Throw these sandals to the lions in the lions' den.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
John - glad I have an ally in this. Fortunately, the oncoming cold weather signals the end of sandal season - but something ever worse looms on the horizon... UGGS!
I agree! Although, I am a fan of the more simple styled ones with heels, I can't stand the icky brown ones that just make you look like a fat retard hippie. If anyone had ever done their research, they'd know that any straps around your ankles instantly cut your legs off short, making them look like fat stumps, unless you 6'3 and 98lbs. And I hate the ones with a single strap that goes from between your big toe up to the ankle strap... you just look like a total moron! The second picture is not too bad but they're pushing it. These shoes just make you look like a man. A man with no fashion sense. Why spend $50 on shoes that are going to take you half an hour to do up and take off when you could buy some flip flops, ballet flats, or even something that doesn't make you look like a tool? I know Jesus was meant to be perfect, but his only sin was his taste in shoes. Wearing these won't get you any closer to heaven- more likely closer to a nasty blister, or 20, depending on how many straps you've got.
I totally agree. Gladiator sandals are - surprise, surprise - for gladiators. Girls - you may think you look hot in them, but you're just caving into the fashion industry's latest money making fad. Congratulations.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
i love gladiator shoes :]
Here it is... 2010 and they are still going strong, damn it! I hate them! I wish they'd go away and flats, too. They make my legs look like stumps. Forget 'em! Glad to know some of you guys hate them, too.
Hey, I'm reviving this one. I think these sandals are nasty. They make the feet in them even nastier. Flip flops are fine.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
Fucking eh.
My friend has beautiful, THIN legs and trying to find a pair that would fit me ( with thick calves ), too just made me loathe my own body a little bit more.
Fuck these shoes. Haha.
I'm gonna stick with my comfy moccasins, thank you very much!!
Thanks Melissa! Slowly, the world is starting to agree with me.
I hate these ugly shoes, too. I like vintage fashion, but not THIS vintage! These make about as much sense as those ugly, peep-toe boots: none.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
Oh Molly - are you single? Are you in NYC?! Because the whole peep toe boot thing is like #3 on my shit list. right after those ridiculous platform heels from Steve Madden.
OH NEAL! Yes, I live in New York and I'm single. I love you. Let's have babies.
hey molly (er, NICK), your avatar is showing.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
so. so so so. i went to a comedy show tonight to support a friend and one of the comedians starts in on gladiator sandals. he had some choice lines comparing sandals to bikinis etc, but i couldn't help but think "i could do this!"
what do you think? could i pull off a 10 minute standup set all about women's fashion?
yeah
I guess I might be a bit late in the game for commenting, but I found this after googling "I hate gladiator sandals" today.
I can't believe they still exist and are even more prevalent than 2 years ago. I went shopping in search of a cute pair of "strappy sandals" - remember those, not too many straps (thin), no ankle straps, cute heel. Hours later I managed to find a pair close enough to what I wanted. The store I was in had over a hundred pairs of gladiator sandals. It was ridiculous. They are hideous and should only be worn when wearing armor (Halloween).
I'm so glad that there are guys out there who hate them too. Maybe if enough of you say so we women will stop wanting them and they will go away for good.
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
colleen - great to have you on the bus!
I googled ugly gladiator sandals and it took me here. Why woman want to instantly take 4 inches off their legs with ugly leather straps and buckles is beyond me.... Keep fighting the good fight my man.
Nick - I heartily agree, and thanks for joining the cause!
AudioShocker Shoutouts!
I also am horrified by the high and continued prevalence of this atrocious foot-ware. I see them all over the place at my university, and when I go into shoe stores to look at sandals they dominate the selection. Why, oh, WHY, do people like them? I've actually never tried them on myself, so I can't say they look bad on me from PERSONAL experience, but I know they would, just like any fashion disaster would make me look bad. What IS it about these hideous contraptions that so many women find so appealing? I just don't understand.
Girls! What on earth are you all thinking??
TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!!!
We are no longer in the era of the friggin Roman Empire
When these shoes first came out I thought my goodness everyone must be blind... They look shocking...
And to make things worse, they are bigger then ever now... they take over every thing else!!!!
Makes me vomit..
Nice Cute heels - or plain flats SIMPLE EASY and effective... look like a lady... not a little girl....
GET ME AWAY FROM THESE SANDALS!