Monthly Archive for April, 2008

Alicia Keys – I Wish You Had Been My Teenage Love Affair

Published
by
neal
on April 30, 2008
in Music Videos
. 1 Comment

I like Alicia Keys. A lot. You can’t hold that against me. You might recall my review of AK’s last single, Like You’ll Never See Me Again. Well, she has done it again with Teenage Love Affair.

Alicia needs to write more songs like this. It’s light and breezy, totally unlike like some of her other tracks (Karma comes to mind). For a little while, I have been worried that Alicia was incapable of writing a song without  devastating heartbreak somewhere along the way.

Now, I could break it down for you AS style (beat, video, content, and vocals) – but that would really just be a waste of time here. We can take it for granted that: A Keys can sing, her songs have great thematic content, and she has an excellent production team. That leaves one thing: the video.

AK claims that the video was inspired by School Daze. As I noted in this week’s podcast, I’m not really familiar with most of the Spike Lee canon – so that doesn’t mean much to me. But, after watching this video I may have to see it.

The video is basically a backdrop for Alicia Keys to play dress-up. That said, I have not seen A Keys look this good since that collabo she did with Usher. The big gold earrings? Awesome. The black mermaid dress? Amazing. And it doesn’t stop there – a little pink lipstick and Ms. Keys goes from classically elegant to seductive and sultry. Outside of a photoshoot – this is arguably the best that Alicia has ever looked onscreen. (Sidenote, is it just me, or does A Keys look a little like Sasha Grey with the blue eyeshadow in the scenes where she’s on her bed?)

The big thing that distresses me about A Keys is telephones and side conversations. This video continues Alicia’s ridiculous habit of featuring phone conversations in her videos. It is totally superfluous and serves no purpose. This theme is present in no less than 4 of her videos.

The Bottom Line: Alicia Keys does pop music and looks good doing it.

ComicShocker Week 17 2008

Published
by
nick marino
on April 30, 2008
in Comics and TV
. 0 Comments

I went to my first comic book convention this past weekend. I’ve been reading comic books regularly since the age of four (well, you know, as regularly as you can read comics at four…) yet I’ve never really been a part of communal fandom. I got into the online comic book message board thing a bit in the past few years, but I wouldn’t even really consider myself a true part of that either.

So attending a comic book convention for the first time after reading comics for over 20 years was interesting. It just wasn’t what I expected. Ever been to a trade show or a business convention? It’s just like that except the attendees wear tights instead of suits. The booths and the salesmen are all still there, from retailers that go straight to the consumer all the way through to niche businesses geared especially towards the convention-going small press comic book creator.

And I wasn’t even at one of the huge conventions. I was at the Pittsburgh Comicon, celebrating its 15th anniversary this year under some extremely unusual circumstances. I enjoyed myself in the sense that nothing went wrong. But I feel so disconnected from the convention culture. I love comics for the craft, for the stories, for the characters, and for the sweeping metaphors. I suspect, however, that if I really want to make the comic book industry my career field of choice, I need to learn to love comicons too.

As for Reads You Need, may I recommend Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #45. It felt like autumn today here in the Steel City, and this comic book made me feel like October arrived early. This eerie tale is a solid example of why I’ve read more consecutive issues of Tales of the TMNT on a month-to-month basis than any other comic book series. Coming in a close second is Dynamo 5 #12, which finally pays off a plot tangent about the character Myriad that was introduced way back in issue #7.

Before I go, I should let everyone know that Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 3 Chapters 14 and 15 are online. I’ve watched both of them (a two-parter called “The Boiling Rock”) and I thoroughly the episodes. Chapter 14 is mostly setup — and Chapter 15 is doubly good when it really brings the plot home. If you’re trying to find these episodes, here are links to Chapter 14 and Chapter 15. Enjoy (and check out the video description on Chapter 15 for more).

Podcast Episode 029 – Asian Remade American

Published
by
nick marino
on April 29, 2008
in Comics, Movies, Music, Podcast Episodes and TV
. 0 Comments

We converse about Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, EuroTrip, Baby Mama, The Love Guru, Romany Malco, Juno, Dane Cook, Hellboy II The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, Joker, your first supervillain, Madame Masque, Magneto, Penguin, Harley Quinn, Stockholm syndrome, Poison Ivy, Lex Luthor, Arkham Asylum, Batman, Shutter, American remakes of Asian films, horror movies, Mamma Mia, ABBA, Tripping the Rift, Afro Samurai, Captain Planet, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, hipsters, Spike Lee movies, Clockers, Crooklyn, Jungle Fever, Mya, Lil Wanye, getting your face tattooed, Cash Money, Juvenile, Manny Fresh, Rachel Ray, extra virgin olive oil, EVOO, whiskey, New Avengers 40, Avengers The Initiative 12, X-Men Legacy 210, Immortal Iron Fist 14, and more than you care to know.

 
 AudioShocker #29 [70:58m]: Play Now | Download

Girls I Want to Stick It To – Volleyball Girl

Published
by
neal
on April 28, 2008
in GIWTSIT
. 4 Comments

Women’s volleyball is one of the sexiest team sports around – and I am not talking about the beach ‘n bikini variety.

For years, I associated volleyball with high-fiving watch-check-flexing Naval Aviators and overtanned dudes in sandlots surrounded by ESPN cameras.

Nay, it wasn’t until my chi-chi education, at Choate Rosemary Hall, that I had my revelation. What changed my mind? I’ll tell you what it wasn’t: mandatory team sports participation — but that is a discussion for another day.

Everything about the female volleyball uniform exudes sex. Refer to the figure at right.

The tiny spandex shorts accentuate the gluteals and give even the stumpiest of ladies a willowy profile. Kneepads (not shown) serve double duty: adding contrast to the outfit and providing some much kneeded (har har) protection. Jerseys vary from the small and clingy (shown) to the baggy and NBA-esque. Ponytails, frenchbraids, and the occasional headband are the coiffures of choice.

If that sounds good at rest – imagine it in motion. From the first set to the last desperate bump pass, ladies volleyball is a multi-sensory experience. Powerful serves yield resonating thumps – quickly drowned out by grunts, heel screeches, and players calling out “I got it!” As the game progresses you can feel the breeze of every vengeful spike and dive. And when the final volley ends you can smell defeat, while across the net the winners huddle together jumping and cheering.

The composite effect is in a word, mesmerizing.

In summary: Volleyball Girl – I want to stick it to you. Shorts, kneepads, ponytail, and all.

Photo: Curbstonecritic

Bizarre New World: Population Explosion comic book review

Published
by
nick marino
on April 23, 2008
in Comics
. 0 Comments

This graphic novel hits today and I’ve been fortunate to catch an advanced peak at the book. With that said, here’s what I like most about this story: its realistic treatment of a fantastic topic, fun art that’s bright and expressive, and the story’s unique length.

The concept is simple. Paul Krutcher can fly, and he’s the first guy with this ability. But that was in the last Bizarre New World tale. As Population Explosion begins, just about everyone has discovered they can defy gravity as well. The skies are a mess of reckless, elated people. It’s an interesting take on flight by writer Skipper Martin.

And now Paul is disappointed. Not only is he robbed of feeling special — he’s trying to take flying seriously while everyone else is going on joyrides. The conflict is quickly introduced as Paul receives a garbled and hectic phone call from his son. Paul immediately sets off on a haphazard journey to save his child that might not even need to be saved.

The pencils by Christopher Provencher are expressive and attractive. They have an animated quality that plays up the fun of every panel (even when the story itself isn’t dealing with a fun topic). The colors by Wes Dzioba take the strong pencils by Provencher and slather them with bright colors that enhance the overall visual effect of the story.

But it’s the lettering by Ellen Everett that really steals the show. She uses a few great techniques to make the different forms of narration distinct. When you finally see all the different types of text converge, you know that she’s got something special going on.

I was really enthused about the size of this graphic novel from Ape Entertainment. It’s about 50 pages, clocking in at slightly more than two standard comic book issues. According to Diamond Distributors, it carries a price tag of $6.95. I think that’s a fair price concerning the quality and the page count of the tale. I hope more writers think about doing books of this size in the future.

Those are all the best parts. Now here’s what didn’t work for me. While I found the overall concept charming, I didn’t think that Martin really hit his stride until page 20. At that point, he introduced the concept of deadly (yet hilarious) mass hysteria. That was interesting for me. But the main conflict up until that point didn’t completely sell me on the story. To add to that, there was a decidedly folksy tone to the internal narration and external interactions of Paul. By the time I was hit with a preachy moment about 9/11, I felt soaked in Americana reflection. It killed the fantasy buzz of the story for me.

But all complaints aside, this book has a fun and inventive treatment of human flight. It has bright, bouncy art that works hard to maintain the fun tone, and its length is just right. I recommend this book to people excited by extraordinary possibilities but a bit burned out by the extreme science-fiction overdose of modern superhero comics.

5 out of 7 Shocks

Podcast Episode 028 – Cinematic Private Parts

Published
by
nick marino
on April 22, 2008
in Comics, Movies, Music, Podcast Episodes and TV
. 2 Comments

We chitchat about the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law, UnlicensedAttorneys.com, Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton, 3:10 to Yuma, 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl’s boobs, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Jason Segel’s penis, Mila Kunis, Meet the Spartans, Irina Palm, Mariah Carey, E=MC2, Jermaine Dupri, New Jack Swing, Teddy Riley, Midas Touch, 50 Cent, Tony Yayo, ghostwriters, Akon’s fabricated past, Fugees, Pras, Mya, Ghetto Supastar, ODB, Prince, Amelia Earhart, Truffle Shuffle, Avatar, Airbender, Black Panther, BET, Reginald Hudlin, Denys Cowan, Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury, Iron Man in The Incredible Hulk movie, Marvel Studios, Civil War #1, Mighty Avengers #12, and more.

 
 AudioShocker #28 [66:12m]: Play Now | Download

Girls I Want to Stick It to – Mila Kunis

Published
by
neal
on April 21, 2008
in GIWTSIT and Movies
. 3 Comments

Mila KunisIf Michelle Rodriguez and Angelina Jolie made babies together – and one of them had a sense of humor, the product might resemble this week’s celeb crush: Mila Kunis.

You obviously know her as Jackie Burkhart from That 70s Show and the voice of Meg Griffin on The Family Guy, but did you know she’s been dating Macaulay Culkin for like 6 years? If that is indicative of the caliber of dude she can tolerate, I should be in like Flynn!

Seriously though, she’s smoking hot, excels at comedy, and isn’t a hollywood mess like some other starlets. Bonus – we both are concerned about our eye-health! Clearly a match made in IMDb / Wikipedia heaven.

In conclusion: Mila Kunis, I want to stick it to you.

ComicShocker Week 16

Published
by
nick marino
on April 21, 2008
in Comics and TV
. 0 Comments

Let’s get things started with Reads You Need. This week, you need to read X-Men: Divided We Stand #1. From the outset, this book seems like a rather unspectacular exploration of several side characters in the X-Men Universe. And all of that is true… except for the part about it being unspectacular.

In fact, the case is quite the opposite. This comic book is particularly spectacular, mostly due to the tremendous amount of insightful emotion exhibited by the writers. It has a long list of creators and I can’t remember all the names right now. However, the character lineup goes something like this:

A Cannonball story by Mike Carey and Brandon Peterson looks great and reads pretty well to start out the book. It’s awesome for Cannonball fans, but it didn’t do much for me as an add-on to the Messiah CompleX aftermath. The Nezhno story up next is interesting, and we get to see a civilian’s view of Wakanda (which was extremely gratifying for me). The Northstar tale afterwards is actually a tale about one of the New X-Men named Vic (but I don’t know the character by codename). The art by Skottie Young is interesting, but his story is just okay. The following piece about Hellion shows the emotional fallout of a troubled young man who reaches out to Magneto for solace. He finds none.

The final Scalphunter and Nightcrawler story by Matt Fraction steals the spotlight. This may just be Fraction’s finest work to date. It’s thoughtful, inspired, and emotional. Fraction discovers amazing potential in Scalphunter, a perpetual C-list X-Men villain. The intellectual analysis of his psyche is a fascinating journey and it gives me great confidence in Fraction’s ability to write the X-Men (as his upcoming tenure on Uncanny quickly approaches).

As for other comics that came out last Wednesday, Marvel Adventures Avengers #23 brought Black Panther back for the second month in a row. Though the story oddly plays up Panther’s connection to Storm as prime emotional motivation, Mark Sumerak doesn’t butcher T’Challa’s character concept like he did last month. It’s a relief but it doesn’t erase the bad taste in my mouth from Marvel Adventures Avengers #22.

In other Black Panther news, the character was announced as the star of a prime-time animated show on BET. Debuting in October 2008, BET president and Black Panther comic book writer Reginald Hudlin will write the series. The program will run for eight episodes, a bizarrely short number of shows. Still, I’m excited for this series and looking forward to the increased interest in T’Challa as a result.

EDIT: While we’re on animation kick on the ComicShocker, here’s an update on the status of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Apparently there was an Avatar panel at NYCC this past weekend, and it looks like we won’t get new Avatar episodes on TV until July 2008. The weird part is that the Avatar Book 3 Vol 3 DVD (which will contain episodes that haven’t aired yet in the USA, Canada, or any English-speaking country for that matter) will be out in early May 2008. Go figure that one out!

Wiz Khalifa – I Refuse to Say Yea

Published
by
neal
on April 16, 2008
in Music Videos
. 7 Comments

I was raised in Pittsburgh; specifically Squirrel Hill. My sister and I both attended Taylor Allderdice High School and did normal Pittsburgh things like eat at Primanti’s and the ‘O’. So, it was both surprising and exciting when Nick told me about Wiz Khalifa – a rapper from Pittsburgh. According to Wikipedia, Wiz (or Cameron Jibril Thomaz) went to Allderdice too. What a coincidence!

The first Wiz Khalifa track I ever heard was Pittsburgh Sound and I dug it. Youngin’ on his Grind was kinda ehhh and I believe Nick did not feel it either. I don’t think Wiz is as inspired as JayZ or anything – but I like that he reps the 412, how he refers to PA as Pistolvania, and that he produces his videos locally on a small budget (or so it seems).

Now then, I currently live in PEORIA, ILLINOIS – hardly a hothouse of hiphop talent and certainly not a trendsetting market for music. Last week, I heard a new track that sampled that ridiculous Alice Deejay techno-pop song Better Off Alone. Imagine my surprise when the DJ came on and said “Hope you liked that new joint by Wiz Haleefa.” I nearly crashed my car!

I raced home, flipped up YouTube, and briefly mourned upon discovering that DJ was in fact telling the truth. So, try to stay calm – I’ll break it down for you with what I like to call: The AudioShocker Method

The Beat: I’m not sure what posessed Wiz to choose this beat – or why it is getting airplay. I know the economy is in the toilet – but listening to music from 1999 isn’t going to reverse the recession. This track is not a viable economic stimulus package. In short: too much synth, too little knock. This is inline with last week’s Usher video.

The Video: Like I said earlier, Wiz’s videos always look really amateur. Whether that is a label issue or a personal preference is unclear – but I don’t mind. I have a strong feeling this was taped in Pittsburgh. The tip off? None of these girls are good dancers, so they couldn’t be professional video hos.

The ‘around the world’ concept was good – even if it was entirely green screened. I really enjoyed the part with the British Guard getting down. It rips off that Fergie video, but I’ll let it slide. Also, the astronaut doing the moonwalk – PRICELESS! That sealed it for me.

My only real gripe is that in a city FULL of Indian women, the casting director couldn’t find 4 for the India segment? I swear I saw a white chick in there somewhere. Or maybe that was for the Middle Eastern portion. Either way, poor casting.

The Content: Another song about making it rain on girls in the strip club? I’m really getting tired of this. Where are these strip clubs that have good looking girls? I ask, because Pittsburgh is not one of them. The chorus is weak and the verse is devoid of new slang or funny references (both extremely important in my book). I feel like I have already heard every joke and punchline in this song before. You know, in every one of those other songs about strippers and the rain dance.

The Vocals: Wiz doesn’t have much in the way of a unique style. He lacks a distinct sound that you would immediately recognize and associate with him. Maybe he just needs more time in the game.

The Bottom Line: Wiz regurgitates tired thematic content over an ill-chosen beat and presents it with a rough around the edges – but entertaining video.

Podcast Episode 027 – In Living Slap Fight

Published
by
nick marino
on April 15, 2008
in Comics, Movies, Music, Podcast Episodes, TV, Video Games and Webcomics
. 1 Comment

We talk noodles, slap fights, Street Fighter, Vega, Dhalsim, Blanka, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter movie soundtrack, NaS, Craig Mack, Mariah Carey, E=MC2, Alice Smith, synesthesia, House, Ray Parker Jr and Raydio, TV is back but it’s not, NPR and PBS pledge drives, USA Today, Saturday Night Live, In Living Color, Lars and the Real Girl, Resident Evil Extinction, Ultra Violet, Eagle vs Shark, A Guy Thing, Alyssa Milano, Ralph Macchio, how frequently webcomics should update, Achewood, lateness in comics, comic book one-and-dones vs story arcs, Garfield, Heathcliff, User Friendly, Meet the Spartans, Frisky Dingo, and gangbusters more.

 
 AudioShocker #27 [67:32m]: Play Now | Download