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Attention Hip Hop artists: This 2 video in one thing has gotta go. Seriously, cut that shit out. Missy is particularly fond of this tactic which focuses on pushing a crappy single and then teasing you with a much hotter but shorter track at the end. Ginuwine is also a noted offender. Juelz Santana did this with Postman / Clockwork. The 25 seconds of Clockwork at the end of Postman were so savage they immediately erased my memory of the 3 previous minutes.

Missy’s new combo Ching-A-Ling / Shake Your Pom Pom just hit, and since I’m feeling prolific this week, I’ll give you the breakdown for both videos.

Ching-A-Ling

The Beat: The beat doesn’t do it for me. I am not a fan at all. It is not worth explaining further.

The Video: I was a little concerned at first. The video starts off looking like a hip-hop Gap Ad: dancers wearing bright colors in a white room. However, the choreography does not disappoint. The spider/shoe thing is something you don’t see everyday and is reminiscent of Labyrinth. Missy keeps it fresh.

The Content: Has Missy made a track that didn’t revolve around her ass or shaking it? I don’t think so, and that is fine with me. ‘So fresh and clean you can call me Irish Spring,” is a pretty campy line. Missy is all about cheesy punchlines.

The Vocals: The chorus is annoyingly catchy. Additionally, the whole thing sounds muddy. The punchlines get lost in the delivery - not her best.

Shake Your Pom Pom

The Beat: This beat is so hot I can’t handle it. I’m a sucker for the drums. I immediately started thinking of Naughty by Nature.

The Video: F I R E. Booty dancers doing it right. I want to be at this house party right now. Seriously, where is it? I will turn that shit out.

The Content: Another song about dancing and booty? Why not? The song doesn’t describe a specific dance like Walk it Out, Flap Your Wings, or Crank Dat. Instead, Missy focuses on getting down. This is an important distinction and Missy doesn’t drop any new slang (besides the title itself) or innovative rhymes.

The Vocals: The vocals are really loud on the track and Missy’s voice is assertive but not overpowering. I really dig Missy’s delivery here. She uses a kinetic flow that almost no one even attempts that these days. It sounds kind of like Lipstick by Lil Mama. My only issue is the weak chorus.

The Bottom Line: While Ching-A-Ling has a decent video, it does not have the appeal of Shake Your Pom Pom. Ching-A-Ling is for serious Missy fans. Shake Your Pom Pom is much more accessible and would make an excellent -if short- addition to your workout mix.